


The Life and Times of Zen & MC ... and Echo Girl?

by PennyLane4ever



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Cute Zen | Ryu Hyun, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, I Love Zen | Ryu Hyun, Love Triangles, Masturbation, Oral Sex, RFA (Mystic Messenger) member side storylines, RFA Party (Mystic Messenger), Semi-Public Sex, Shower Sex, Straight Up Cheesy Romance, True Love, Zen | The Beast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-11-26 16:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 142,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18182729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennyLane4ever/pseuds/PennyLane4ever
Summary: This story chronicles Zen and MC's life living together after the Party. Can Zen and MC's relationship survive the challenges that face them, including Zen's rise to fame? How will MC endure the production of a TV show in which Zen and Echo Girl are co-stars, tasked to play lovers in a fictional relationship? What happens when Echo Girl just won't give up?





	1. Can't We Just Already?

The weeks after the party were amazing. I could have even called myself happy, I think. With Zen around it was almost impossible to have anything but a positive attitude. I don’t know if it’s the effect of having something physically that beautiful around you always - how can you NOT smile? Or that he’s always giving me compliments, encouraging me to see the bright side of me.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he’d say as we first wake up, touching my shoulder and rolling me towards him, pulling me in close. 

“Hey baby,” I’d say back, breathing in the scent of him, which is so only his I can only describe it as delicious. 

“Scrambled eggs or omelette?” He asked, his red eyes doing this twinkling dancy thing with his eyebrows that made me literally weak in the knees.

One thing I’d learned about Zen is that the dinner he made that night I came over to his place the first time was not an incident in isolation. He actually has some pretty serious culinary skills. But I had things on my mind other than food this morning. Without thinking I leaned in and grasped him tight about the waist with both hands and pulled him in close so that his chiseled bare chest touched the silk of my chamise. My heartbeat instantly kicked it up a notch and I felt a familiar rush of heat roll through my body. My arms reached around the back of Zen’s torso and I let my fingers start to trace the contours of his muscles. 

“Hey, hey, hey…” Zen said, lightly pushing me back and blushing. “Be careful there.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be careful,” I said, letting my eyes linger maybe a little too long on the elastic band of his boxers.

He stood up quickly and wrapped a blanket around his half-naked body. “Come on, babe,” he laughed. “You’re going to be late.”

“So I’ll be late,” I said. I walked toward him slowly, letting one silk spaghetti strap of my chamise slide off my shoulder. His gaze locked in on that and he let out a long sigh.

“Oh, god,” he said, backing away. “MC, don’t do that…”

“Why not?” I said. “Zen, just tell me.”

I felt a familiar rush of shame, followed by a crippling blow of insecurity. If you think about it, it might totally make sense that a hot, successful, semi-famous musical actor with hot prospects might not want to make love to a plain Jane, girl-next-store-at-best girl like me. “Do you not want me?”

Zen let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head so that his silver locks seemed to float like a slow motion halo around his head. “Not want you?” he said. “Of course I WANT you.”

The high tips of his cheekbones blushed with a tinge of red that matched the irises of his eyes.

“Zen,” I said, reaching a hand out to touch his bare shoulder. “Then, what is it? I’ve been living with you here for three, maybe four weeks now. I’m your girlfriend, right? It’s OK.” My generic-brand brown eyes searched his bright name-brand ones. “In fact, it’s more than OK…” I tried to sound as positive and encouraging as I could. “I want you to.”

Zen opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it again. He was probably thinking about the other night. Last time we had this conversation it ended badly. He gave me a whole spiel about my honor and I’d told him I didn’t really give a damn about my virtue, and neither should he.

“Well, I do,” he had said, hotly. Then he had stormed out of the bedroom to go sleep on the couch. 

Shocked and then certain it was over, I started to cry myself to sleep. Not five minutes later, Zen was back in the bedroom, crawling into bed beside me and pulling me close, spooning me into his long angular frame. 

“Oh babe,” he said softly, kissing my tears. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I nestled my face into his chest and let him comfort me. 

“You know I love you,” he whispered while I resisted the urge to shout back, “well if you loved me, you’d f*ck me now, wouldn’t you?” Instead I let him whisper over and over again into my ear until I feel asleep.

Now here were, essentially starting to have that same conversation/argument again. I could see the frustration starting to furrow in his brow, which honestly, god damnit, just made him sexier. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this, I thought. Since the first day in the RFA chatroom, I’d been having fantasies about what it would be like to be _that way_ with Zen, and my desire has just continued to grow. Now it’s like a near constant itch I need to scratch deep inside me. Every time I’m near him, my body starts to feel electric. I start to tingle all over, and there’s this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, an unrelenting ache. The ache, it just feels so good, but I also, you know, can’t take it. It’s this weird dichotomy. I just want to pull him near me and press my body into his and then, I don’t know, maybe explode? But like in a good way…

“Zen,” I said, my eyes pleading. “Please talk to me.” 

If he didn’t want to sleep with me, if he wasn’t attracted to me, I needed to know that, and I needed to know that now.  
I watched Zen’s eyes flutter from the clock on the bedside table to the kitchen and back to my face. “You’ve got to get to work,” he insisted.

I felt my breath draw in quick in protest. Jumin had given me a job at his company doing marketing and communication outreach under Jaehee, his assistant.

“I think you’ll be an incredible asset to our communication division,” Jumin had said. I’d done an incredible job of organizing and hosting the RFA’s latest party, the first one post-Rika. Rika was the former party coordinator, and then some; she clearly meant a lot more to each of the RFA members, including Zen. She was still mostly a mystery to me, but I felt a strong connection to her and what she represented. I wanted to do well by her, measure up, which meant in a lot of situations, I’d just ask myself: “What would Rika do?”

The job was going to pay more than my entry level gig at the PR firm I’d been working for, and even though I was still wary of Jumin, I’d grown to like Jaehee. My only concern was the possibility of getting bogged down with all Jumin’s menial tasks and side projects. I’d watched it happen with Jaehee on more than one occasion, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let that happen to me. So in this instance I accepted the job with a caveat: “No cats,” I said, with a sideways warning glance.

“Of course,” Jumin said. “That’s Assistant Kang’s job.”

“No,” I said, taking an opportunity to stand up for my friend. “Elizabeth the 3rd is solely your responsibility moving forward, yes, Mr. Han?”

“I told you not to refer to me as ‘Mr. Han”, “ Jumin said, looking flustered and turning away.

“Right,” I said, making a point not to look into his eyes as I said it. “Jumin.”

As I said it, I could feel Jumin’s cryptic and twisted attraction towards me. It was a feeling I was constantly trying to deny existed. Instinctively I knew it wasn’t really something he wanted, either, so maybe could we just leave it at that? I think we both tacitly agreed to pretend it didn’t exist, but interacting with him was still sometimes awkward as hell.

And I certainly didn’t want to be thinking about Jumin right now.

Back in Zen’s bedroom, my eyes were still locked in on the solar plexus of Zen’s chest, a perfect artistic representation of human physiology I felt in retrospect I’d seen this before in some museum. I let my gaze flicker from his chest up to the glow of his fire red eyes. 

“Sweetie,” he said and I let his self-effacing smile eviscerate me. “You know I love you more than anything.” His voice was sweet and so, so authentic. For a moment I let the reverb of sincerity ripple through me, and then almost reluctantly returned to the issue at hand.  


“Then why not?” I said, feeling the tingling in my lower third. I tried to combat the feeling by reframing the question as matter-of-fact as I could, and at the same time I couldn’t help but feel the repetitive nature of this question was now becoming a feature of our relationship. Zen felt it, too. He sighed and sat down on the bed.

“I’m sorry, MC,” he said.

Uh-oh, here it comes, I thought, and I sat down next to him on the bed. He picked up one of my hands and started playing with it. I let myself stare in the mess of silver hair on top of his lowered head, traced the strands that fell in and around his face with my gaze. How could I bare to lose this beautiful soul?

“I’m sorry, MC,” he repeated. “It’s just… It’s only…” Zen stammered and began to shake his head. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“It’s OK, Zen,” I said. “Whatever it is, I can take it. I’m a big girl.” I’d said it, but I surely didn’t know or believe it to be true. I doubt I could really take having him break up with me.

“Oh god,” Zen said, suddenly standing up and grasping his head with both hands. He began to pace back and forth. “I can’t…” 

The expression on his face was so pained I almost told him to forget about it, but honestly I had to hear what was coming.

“Just tell me, Zen,” I said in a quiet whisper. “I need to know what’s going on with you.” 

My fingers were clutching handfuls of white sheets, and I knew my face was pale as well. I braced myself for what was coming. He’s going to dump me now, I thought, and then I said it: “Just get it over with,” I said miserably. “Break up with me and I’ll go.”

Then, in less than a second, Zen was on the floor in front of me kneeling and cupping my face with both hands.

“Oh jesus, no!” he said. “That’s not it at all!” 

I felt my mouth start to go dry and that choking feeling in my throat. Tears were on the way.

“Oh, baby,” he said. “Please don’t cry, please don’t.” 

He pulled strands of hair away from my face and stroked my cheek. “Honey, listen,” he said. “It’s not you, it’s me…”

If those aren’t familiar break up words I don’t know what are, and so the tears came in earnest.

“Ssshh, ssssh, baby, just listen,” Zen said softly, and he pulled our heads closer so that our foreheads touched. “Honey, I think you’re getting the wrong idea.”

“Just tell me then, god damn it,” I said, feeling my soul choked in my throat.

“Ok, ok,” he said. “I will. Babe, just listen, Ok? Can you look at me?”

I managed to stop crying for a minute and lift my head and look into his beautiful face. My heartbeat quickened with the realization that every one of his features was filled with concern for me. He loved me, he really did. I could see that plain. Suddenly I realized that whatever was coming was not for lack of affection for me. Instantly I felt better, and maybe ready to hear what he had to say. 

Zen’s red eyes penetrated mine as if say “are you ready now?” I nodded my head slightly and he took both my hands.

“Babe,” he said, clearing his throat for courage. “I’m a virgin.”

Without thinking my mouth popped open and I gasped with relief. 

“Oh!!!” I said as both hands went up to my face. “Oh, Zen, that’s…” I searched for the appropriate word. “Amazing.”

I clutched my chest and let full body relief wash over me. “Oh my god,” I said. “I thought you were breaking up with me!”

“Oh god, oh honey, no!” he said. “Silly goose, never!”

He took one of his hands and pressed it into mine, intertwining the fingers. “For better or worse, babe,” he said. “You’re stuck with me.” 

Then he peaked up at me through a lock of bangs. “If you’ll have me, of course.”

“Zen,” I said all at once realizing his insecurities and wanting to wipe them all away. “Zen,” I gasped. “I love you you so much!”

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. His arms encircled my waist and he pulled me up and toward him, kissing me back. This went on for a while until one, or maybe both of us pulled away. Then we sat together on the bed quietly holding hands.

“I’m glad you told me,” I said, finally.

“I am, too,” he said.

“Why did you wait so long?” I said.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” I said.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I just wanted to impress you. I didn’t want to let you down.” He paused. “Besides, who’s ever hear of a 26-year-old model/actor virgin? It’s not like I didn’t have plenty of chances. I was just…” 

He looked at me and tipped my chin up towards his face. “I was just waiting for the perfect girl.” He moved his face closer and his voice got lower. 

“MC,” he said, slowly. “It’s not that I don’t want to make love to you. I do - I think about it all the time, god!” he paused to run a hand through his silver hair as if he were shaking off a thought he was having right now, and I blushed.

“I know you’re the one,” he went on. “I can feel it in my bones and I’ve known it for a while… I just didn’t know what to do about it.” Then he sighed. “I just didn’t want to let you down, didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

It was my turn to reassure him and I did it with the full force of my being. I turned his head toward mine and looked deep into his warm red eyes. 

“Zen,” I said. “Are you listening to me?”

He nodded his head sightly, and I let my eyes linger over every part of him, his beautiful body, his beautiful soul. 

“Zen,” I said with absolute certainty. “You could never, ever disappoint me. Never ever.”

Looking about six years old all of the sudden, he peered at me through a curtain of bangs as if to say “really?”

I answered those eyes with my voice. “Yes, really,” I said. “And we can wait as long as you damn want to,” I added.

Zen’s mouth curved into a smile, a sideways sultry one I hadn’t seen before that ignited the tingly, tickly feeling deep in my stomach. 

“You know,” he said. “I really don’t want to wait…”

I felt my heart flutter in my chest and I smiled back. 

“Yeah, but,” I said, glancing up at the clock on the wall. “Now I am going to be late for work…”

I got up to kiss him on the cheek and go get dressed, warm with the certainty that this would be the last time we’d have this conversation ... and with any luck later tonight or maybe tomorrow, there wouldn’t be much talking at all.


	2. Impossible Task

The rest of the morning after our “talk” was filled with a sensual electric charge that I can only describe as an extended kind of foreplay. Every touch, every word seemed to carry with it added meaning and intent.

I was also surprisingly more calm. Now that I knew that Zen wanted me, I was more than willing to play the thing out, tease him for it’s all worth, make it last.

“Ah, honey,” Zen said in a low thick voice as he sat on the corner of the bed watching me get dressed.

It was like a strip tease in reverse. I became conscious of things like pulling on my socks, my jeans, my boots. I bent over, drawing out each motion with the all out intensity of a slow motion film. I liked sneaking glances at him, watching me. In my mind I kept fast-forwarding to later, imagining the whole scene in reverse, when he would be undressing me for real.

“Zen,” I said as matter-of-factly as I could muster. “Could you hand me my bracelet?”

“Ah, man,” he breathed.

Then I let him put it on, letting his long fingers caress the inside of my wrist as he worked the clasp.

After breakfast, we did the dishes. He kept brushing past me, pressing my body against the sink. The motion reminded me of something else, which kept me weak in the knees and sighing over and over.

“Excuse me, babe,” he said, taking an opportunity to chuckle into my neck and breathe into my ear.

It went on and on. 

Later, when he gave me a ride to work on the back of his motorcycle, I kept clutching my thighs around him, feeling his chest heave and sigh with the pleasure of anticipation. We were both getting ready. I could feel it. 

“See ya later, babe,” he said when he dropped me off. The kiss was longer and deeper than usual. He grabbed me about the waist to lift me closer. I let my hand slide up inside his leather jacket, tracing a slight trickle of sweat that was making its way down his spine.

“You better believe it,” I whispered, gently biting his lower lip. I took in a full breath, feeling his silver hair ripple against my cheek, before finally pulling away.

“Don’t forget to eat a healthy lunch,” he said with some earnestness. God, he was so sweet.

Walking backwards toward the staff entrance, I brought both hands up to my lips and blew him a kiss.

____

When I finally strode into the workplace, it was about ten minutes after nine. Jaehee had made it clear during my opening orientation that I was supposed to be there no later than 8:30am sharp. 

“Punctuality is a courteous compliment the intelligent person pays to his associates,” she had said with a self-satisfied smirk. 

Jaehee was the first person I saw when I entered the building. She was standing near the window at the coffee station right inside the door, where she could have easily seen me saying goodbye to Zen. Instinctively, I knew she would not approve of such a grand display of affection. Had she seen our parting? The look on her face as she furiously stirred her coffee told me all I needed to know. 

“Hello, Jaehee,” I called, giving a slight wave, my way of trying to diffuse the situation. Jaehee responded with a half-nod and disgusted half-smirk and then went back to stirring her coffee.

After all these weeks, I still wasn’t sure of Jaehee’s real motives. Was she super crushing on Zen? Or really just concerned “as a fan” for his popularity and reputation? I really didn’t know. I found myself feeling alternately angry and sorry for her. Could I imagine a world where I hadn’t won Zen’s affection? Thoughts flashed to his delicious smile, and the possibility of what would come later. No, I could not.

I took a deep breath as I power-walked past Jumin’s glass-walled office strategically situated in the center-most position of the sea of cubicles that made up C&R International’s Seoul office. Maybe if I didn’t breathe he wouldn’t be able to see me. No such luck.

“MC,” Jumin said, striding out of his office like he’d been waiting, a tiger ready to pounce. 

“Mr. Han,” I started and then stopped, reminding myself. “Jumin…” He really didn’t like formalities from me for some reason. He’d basically told me this during a weird moment we’d had after the big RFA party, where he’d called me into his office and shut the door.

“That was a fabulous party,” he said, rubbing his hands together sadistically. “A top-notch celebration!” Jumin wasn’t one for giving compliments so I was immediately taken aback and wondered if he’d been drinking. After all, he’d been the one who asked me to invite a representative from the Vineyards Owners.

“Thank you, sir,” I said. For some reason I was totally comfortable addressing him as “Jumin” in the RFA chat room, but it was totally not that way in person. In the flesh Jumin cut an imposing figure, taller than I thought, more handsome. He wore expensive clothes, the kind that say “I am somebody” and this, even though I don’t think I’m someone who cares about money, made me nervous. He was also awkward, very awkward. 

“Please don’t call me ‘sir’,” he said, pulling at the knot of his tie and making it straight.

“Ok,” I said, carefully tucking a piece of my long brown hair behind my ear. “Mr. Han, then…?”

Jumin’s gray eyes flashed momentarily with fire. “I’m Jumin, damnit,” he said, taking a step forward. “Just Jumin.”

“Uh,” I said, taking a step back, like whoa. “Ok, yeah, ‘Jumin’.” 

Then, as if on cue, my beautiful Zen turned up, my knight in shining armor, gently tapping on the other side of the glass. 

“Babe?” He said. “You in there?”

It was a funny question, looking back, because obviously, he could see everything. The glass walls ensured the whole scene was in full view. I’ve never been so grateful for an interruption. 

“Yeah, lovely Zen,” I said. “I’m here.”

“Oh man,” Zen said. “I told you not to say that.” I couldn’t help but notice that his hand reached down to pull at the hem of his coat, and then back up to rake his fingers through his hair. I couldn’t help myself. I knew he loved it.

As always in any situation where Zen was around, Jumin, and anyone else, faded into the background. He’d had to remind us he was there.

“A-hem,” he said, pretending to clear his throat. Like I said, Jumin was awkward, and obvious about it. “We should probably...” he said, moving toward the glass door where the vision of Zen was perfectly framed. “...get back to the party.”

In one motion Jumin moved chivalrously toward the door and seamlessly opened it in one motion. In my head or for real I’m not sure I heard an audible “swoosh”.

Back at the office, Jumin was motioning me into his glass office again. “MC,” he said, ushering me in.

I let out a deep sigh and followed him inside. “I’m sorry I’m late…” I started.

“Assistant Kang must have told you we have a strict start time,” Jumin said, leaning back in his chair. 

I flinched as a heavy white flash jumped into his lap. It was his beloved cat Elizabeth the 3rd. He took her everywhere. Jumin’s hands reflexively began stroking her head between the ears and she began to purr. 

“I know, I know,” I said, glancing out the windows in the direction of my cubicle. I was ready to get out of there and get to work.

“Not a good way to start a career,” Jumin said. 

“I know, I know,” I repeated, shifting from one foot to the other. “It won’t happen again.”

“Very well,” Jumin said, motioning for me to take a seat in one of the two straight-backed chairs in front of his desk. I shook my head and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Suit yourself.” He paused to lick his lips. “I have a task for you.”

I felt myself stiffen. In my brief experience of him, asks from Jumin were rarely welcomed or pleasant. My mind flashed back to many late night chat room texts from Jaehee complaining about all the idiosyncratic and honestly, just simply weird requests he required of her. 

“Of course,” I said, forcing a tight smile. “Whatever you need.”

Jumin’s face spread into a slow smile. “Echo Girl is coming to town,” he said. 

Echo girl? The words were hitting my brain in a way that felt all brand new, like a bewildering kind of disbelief. Like I didn’t already know that Echo Girl was a really popular pop music and TV star that had ridden her family’s privilege to fame. She’d very recently tried to involve Zen in a scandal. Just before we got together, she came to his house and tried seduce him. When he had refused, she got angry and accused him of trying to take advantage of her. Although Zen had gotten over the incident pretty quickly, I was much less inclined to let bygones be bygones. Although I wasn’t jealous, per se, I could do my fair share to hold a grudge, and I realized in this moment just how big a grudge I held against her. 

My heartbeat quickened and I felt the blood rise to my face. My eyes narrowed. _Rich bitch_ , I thought.

Jumin was watching me closely with a kind of playful sedition. He was enjoying this.

“Oh?” I managed to pop out in a kind of nonchalant croak as I tried to wrangle my emotions.

“Yes,” Jumin replied. “I’ve decided to hire her as the new representative for our new brand of cat food.” He looked down to scratch Elizabeth the 3rd under the chin. She was still purring in his lap. “Don’t you think she’ll be perfect, my precious Elizabeth the 3rd?”

“You can’t be serious?” I heard the words came out my mouth as sort of a reflex, without the proper filter.

“I’m totally serious, and I’m going to need someone to manage her while she’s here.” Jumin smiled and sighed, deeply satisfied. “That someone is you.”

Suddenly I felt myself go weak in the knees, and for the first time today, not in a good way. I wish I would have accepted that proffered seat.

“You can do that, can’t you, MC?” Jumin said, smiling sweetly.

I think that’s when I threw up a little in my mouth.


	3. The Way Zen Sees It

After Zen dropped MC off at work, after that long stimulating kiss, he watched her walk all the way into the building. Even after the door swung fully closed and she was gone, he leaned against his motorcycle for a while to stare up at the clear blue sky. 

“Man…” he whispered to himself under his breath and then he smiled.

He was replaying the last few moments with MC in his mind. He pictured almost in slow motion the mischievous sparkle in her eyes, the generous sway of her hips, the way she tossed her long hair over her shoulder as she finally turned away from him to open the door and disappear inside her place of business.

He chuckled to himself and shook his head. Man, he had it bad for her and he knew it. He liked it. Then he felt heat rise to cheeks as he had another thought about what was very likely going to happen later. I can’t believe it, he said to himself, I’m finally going to have sex.

It was about then that the anxiety kicked in again. What if he couldn’t please her? What if something went wrong? You often see these scenes play out on TV shows and in movies, where the boy is way too awkward or cums way too fast, sometimes before even putting it in. Oh, god, he thought. Don’t let that happen to me.

Then there was MC - had she done it before? Zen thought it was likely that she had, if she hadn’t she would’ve said so when he told her he was a virgin. And, she’d been so eager, so ready to do it in the first place. Yes, she was most certainly experienced. How experienced? He wondered. His beautiful red eyes turned to fire as an image of MC being pleased by another lover involuntarily flashed into his head. 

“Gah!” he said, striking his forehead with the heel of his hand. No need to get so possessive, he told himself. It’s probably good that at least someone will know what they’re doing…

Another thought popped into his mind. What about condoms? Did he even have any? If he did they were likely so old they would have expired by now. And what about putting it on? When he was a little younger, he had spent some time practicing, but it was sticky and messy and gross and he wasn’t even sure he was doing it right.

Zen’s spirits immediately sunk at this thought and fear gripped him anew. He did not want to look stupid in front of MC. Zen pulled back the sleeve on his leather jacket and glanced at his watch. He still had time. Rehearsals weren’t scheduled to start until noon. He could go by the drugstore, pick up some condoms and then head to RFA headquarters to use the computer there. There had to be some kind of “how to” video on the Metube, right?

Zen broke out of his revery and when he turned to saddle his motorbike, he glanced up and saw Jaehee’s face framed in the window. She had this weird puzzled look on her face like she’d been watching him the whole time and had surmised what he had been thinking. She probably had, Zen thought. Jaehee knew him so well she could practically read his mind. She’d even once told him he was an “open book”.

“Your thoughts, your feelings, you wear them so plainly on your face,” Jaehee had said at an early RFA gathering. “That’s probably one of the things that makes you such an incredible actor.”

“Yeah?” Zen had said. “Then what am I thinking right now?”

Jaehee pulled off her glasses and began to wipe them with a cloth, looking bored. “Well, right now I can tell you don’t care much for Jumin.”

Zen’s eyes had gone wide because she had been right. All night long Jumin had been babbling on and on about his wealth. He wouldn’t shut up. Every opportunity he got, he’d bring up one of his many farms or vacation homes he owned abroad or talk about some fancy piece of clothing. The last straw for Zen was when Jumin had held up an expensive-looking pen and began twirling it between his long, perfectly manicured fingers.

“Is that a real diamond?” Yoosang had said, his bright blue eyes nearly popping off his face.

“Of course it is,” Jumin said smugly and then, it seemed anyway, very purposely locked eyes with Zen. It made Zen want to jump up and shove that pen up his ass.

Back in the parking lot, Zen shook out his hair and put on his helmet. The thought of Jaehee having any of the kind of the thoughts he was having about MC, about him or MC, or about him and MC made the tips of his ears redden and his stomach go queasy. This was definitely not something he wanted to be thinking about.

In the window, Jaehee lifted her hand and gave Zen a little wave. Zen gave a little half-hearted wave back. He cared a lot for Jaehee. She was part of the RFA after all, and she worked hard. But god, she could be annoying. Kind of like now, he thought.

Zen turned the key in the ignition, put the bike in gear and sped off before she could get any ideas about coming outside.

\-------

Zen got to RFA Headquarters around 10:30am. RFA Headquarters was a modern two-bedroom apartment located in one of the nicer neighborhoods in the city. It used to belong to Rika, RFA’s former party coordinator, who died nearly two years ago. Until recently, the location of Rika’s apartment had been a secret, but since the success of the RFA’s most recent party, it had become the organization’s default headquarters. 

Prior to the apartment, the RFA had existed mostly in a chatroom. The addition of Rika’s apartment, though, made it possible for members to see each other in real life more and hang out. Everyone had a key and access to the property. Zen liked going there because it had a fantastic balcony view of the city. Rika’s apartment also had a computer that was connected to the internet, which was the reason he was here now.

When Zen threw open the big wooden door, he was happy to find the apartment quiet. As he strode over to the computer, he dropped a bag of condoms on the kitchen table.

Purchasing the condoms turned out to be a lot harder than he thought it would be. First of all, he’d had to walk all the way back to the pharmacy. As he moved through the bright fluorescent lit aisles he felt all eyes on him. He was handsome, and so he was used to being watched, but there was something about being watched while on this errand that made him squirm.

Then it got worse. When he’d finally reached the pharmacy counter at the back of the store, he’d then had to ask the clerk for what he needed. Worse yet, the clerk was a woman, young but serious looking. She had glasses and wore her blond hair tied back in a neat-looking knot. 

“Can I help you?” she said. When she looked up into Zen’s chiseled and handsome face, she tried hard to hide her reaction but failed. “Uh, oh,” she said, letting a breath escape her throat and her cheeks grew hot.

“Hi,” Zen said, by way of opening. He looked around nervously and then cleared his throat. “Uh, um, you got any condoms?”

This question made things worse for the young woman. Zen watched as all the color drained from her face. “Oh?” she said, trying to sound perfectly natural, totally professional. “Why, yes, we do have several types of prophylactics.” She gestured to a wall of condoms that were displayed over her left shoulder. “What kind do you need?”

Zen hadn’t been expecting this. There are different kinds? He thought. He didn’t know. He didn’t have any idea. 

“Uh,” he said, his mind working fast. “Do you maybe have some kind of variety pack?”

“Um, well yes,” the young clerk woman answered. She turned around and reached for one of the boxes on the shelves. “There’s the Pleasure Pack,” she said, and then placed the box on the counter. 

Zen looked at the box. It was a 36-count variety pack all right. The different types of condoms had embarrassing names like “extra sensitive”, “intense” and “flame”. Zen felt his heart start to pound in his chest. 

The young woman interpreted Zen’s discomfort with indecision and quickly turned around to pick a few more boxes and put them on the counter next to the variety pack. “Or, maybe you need one of these?” she said. “We’ve got the ultrafeels, the ultra-sensitive, or maybe even the, um…” 

Zen couldn’t help but notice her eyes flutter down to his crotch and then quickly back up to his face. “Well, these,” she said. She slid a box with the word “Magnum” printed in large block letters toward him and then looked away. The color was back in her cheeks. She was blushing profusely now and Zen was feeling more anxious than ever. He had to get out of there.

“I’ll take them all,” Zen said, impulsively. 

“All of them?” The clerk croaked and her face flushed even more deeply.

“Yeah, um…” he stammered. “I’ll take them all.... Can I have a bag, please?”

Somehow Zen made it through the rest of the transaction. He grabbed his bag of newly purchased condoms and raced out of the store, head down the whole way. Aw damn, he thought. He’d possibly never been more embarrassed in all his life.

Back at the apartment, Zen logged onto the computer and opened up a browser. He typed in the words: how to put on a condom and hit search. He was so engrossed in scanning the search results he didn’t hear anyone come up behind him.

“Whatcha doin’?” Seven’s mocking tone jolted Zen out of his concentration and he nearly jumped out of his chair.

“Seven!” Zen said angrily and immediately stood up to obscure the search results on the screen.

“Whatcha looking for?” Seven said, playfully peeking around Zen’s shoulder. Then his eyes went wide. “Condoms?!” Seven nearly shrieked with glee. “Are you and MC gonna…”

“Shut up, Luciel!” Zen shouted calling him by his Baptismal name Luciel. Seven was actually known by several names including other more outrageous monikers like “God Seven” and even “Defender of Justice”. His real name was actually Saeyoung, but few people called him that.

“You are…” Seven said in a mocking tone.

“Don’t say it!” Zen said, attempting to click windows on the computer screen closed, only to trigger more pop-up windows to open. It was just the kind of smut one would expect to get with a search word like “condom”, some of it more suggestive than others.

“Hey, hey,” Seven said. “Calm down, Zen.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” Zen said. He marched into the other room to plop down on the couch and bury his head in his hands.

Seven was the RFA’s hacker, extremely smart, armed with a sharp tongue and a quick wit that was often set to kill. He was the trickster of the group and the most likely to inflict ridicule. Out of everyone in the organization, Zen realized, Seven was the last person he wanted to encounter under these circumstances. 

Luckily, for once, Seven realized the gravity of the situation and acted accordingly. After taking a moment to take off his glasses and rub his eyes, he sat down next to Zen and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, dude,” he said in a soft voice, totally inconsistent with the character who sometimes called himself God Seven. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

Seven was the last person Zen wanted to talk to about his virginity and his fears about messing it up with MC. But he could see that he was also cornered and desperate for someone to talk to.

“Dude, you have to promise me,” Zen started, his head still in his hands. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this.

“OK, yeah,” Seven said. “I promise.”

“I haven’t even told you what I need you to promise yet!” Zen shouted. “Look dude, I’m serious!”

“Ok, ok,” Seven said, backpedaling. “Sorry. I’m listening.”

“You have to promise not to breathe a word of this again to anyone,” Zen said. “Not even me. After we have this talk I never want to hear you bring it up again. Ever. You understand?”

“Yeah, Zen, OK,” Seven said. “I promise.”

They both sat quietly for a moment, side by side on the couch, not looking at each other. Finally Zen spoke.

“I’m a virgin,” he said quietly.

“No shit?!” Seven said sounding surprised. “I would’ve never guessed that you…”

“Just shut up and listen, OK?” Zen said. “I was waiting, waiting for someone special.”

“Like MC,” Seven said.

“Yeah,” Zen said. “Like MC. She’s the one.”

“Wow,” Seven said. “I get it.” He sighed. “You two are so disgusting, by the way.”

“Jealous much?” Zen said, elbowing Seven in the arm.

“Yeah, actually,” Seven said. “If you must know, yeah. You two are like, destined, or something.” He paused. “Who wouldn’t want that for themselves? It’s kinda cool.”

The two boys were quiet for minute, each studying their folded hands. They were still sitting side-by-side, not looking each other in the eye.

“So it’s going to be your first time,” Seven said, finally.

“Yeah,” Zen said. “Something like that.”

“It’s good,” Seven said. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to be stoked.”

“Seven?” Zen said, his voice small, probably the smallest voice Seven had ever heard, which was weird coming from a diehard narcissist like Zen.

“Yeah?” Seven said.

“What if I mess it up?” There he’d said it. He’d got it out there and to his surprise he realized he maybe felt a little better.

“Dude,” Seven said. “You’re not going to mess it up.”

“But what if I do, though?” Zen said, turning to look at Saeyoung for the first time in this conversation. Saeyoung’s eyes were a red-brown. Zen hadn’t noticed that before.

“Look,” Seven started, deadly serious.“I won’t lie. It could be awkward as hell. Like really, you could struggle with the condom, you could, like cum like immediately…”

Zen’s heart sunk deep in his chest and he felt what felt like all hope drain from his body. Here were his worst fears being realized. Seven went on.

“Yeah, all those things could happen, and worse!” Saeyoung paused to throw up his hands for emphasis. “But, maybe you forget, but this is MC, and she loves you, and you love her! That by root definition is beautiful.” 

Zen felt confused at first, but started to think about it. He hadn’t really thought of it that way. Did he necessarily need to be afraid that things would be awkward and weird or was it really just enough to trust that he and MC would figure it out… together?

Saeyoung had put on this thinking face and was stroking his chin. He stayed that way for a good minute, maybe two, until he finally spoke again.

“Nope,” he said with certainty. “It’s not possible to mess it up, Zen. I don’t see any possible path of circumstances where it doesn’t work out.”

“No?” Zen said.

“No,” Seven said, clapping Zen on the back. “Dude, just be your awesome self… and whatever you do, just be present. You’ve already done the hard work of falling in love, this whole sex thing, it’s just gravy.”

Looking at Seven’s reassuring smile, Zen felt a great weight lifting from his chest and shoulders. He couldn’t believe his mind. Did Seven, Luciel, Saeyoung, God of Seven just make him feel better? He turned to Seven and clapped him on the shoulder. Man, maybe stranger things have happened, he thought, and he smiled.

“So what’s the deal with all the different kinds of condoms?” Zen said.

Seven started to laugh.


	4. The Unraveling

The clock on the wall moved slowly. It was a typical office clock, black and white, with large block numbers around the face for hours, dashes for minutes. About once an hour the minute hand would get stuck and jump with an audible click before advancing to the next minute. The clock seemed to be mocking me. Ever notice how time works when you’ve got something you’re looking forward? The passage of time becomes warped, absurd.

Zen called around lunchtime. When I saw his latest selfie pop up on the screen - a smiling Zen toasting the camera with some sort of frothy green drink - my heart did a double flip.  


“Hello?” I said, like I didn’t know it was him.

“Hey babe,” he said in a husky voice. “You picked up right away. Did you know it was me?”

I paused and ran my tongue over my upper lip. “Maybe,” I said.

“Well, ‘maybe’ I was thinking about you, too,” he said. I could hear his eyes smiling. “Did you eat lunch yet?”  


“No,” I said. “Not yet… but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t planning to.” 

He laughed, a husky chuckle that made me want to giggle and twirl my hair like a teenager. 

“Good girl,” he said. “Eating proper meals is important… especially if you’re planning to expend a lot of energy later.”

“Oh am I?” I said. 

“I don’t know, possibly,” he said.

“What might I be doing?” I asked. I don’t know what he was thinking but I had a few things in mind. Right now I was picturing my hand making its way south on the chiseled nakedness of his chest. Just a little lower...

“Who knows?” he said. “Best practice, though, is to be prepared for anything.”

“Well, I’m always ready for anything,” I said. Now in my mind’s eye, he had me from behind. The thought made me gasp and squirm in my office chair.  


“Princess?” he said. “You OK?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, blinking the image away from my mind. “Best make sure you eat well, too.” Oh, boy, and that comment brought up a new picture entirely, which I pushed away immediately. Not here. Not at work.

“Already done, princess,” he said, and I could hear the gurgley sound of the last drops of something being drained through a straw. “You see I’m drinking green smoothies now?”  


“Yeah, better for you than beer,” I said.

“In some ways, I guess,” he said. “They taste like shit, though.”

I laughed.

“Look, I’m on my way to rehearsals now, so I got to run… See you at home later?”

See you at home. The thought of it made me giddy with anticipation.

“Yeah, OK,” I said.

“Oh, and babe?” he said. 

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” he said.

“Zen, baby,” I said. “I love you, too.”

\-----

Later that night I made my way back to Zen’s apartment, smiling to myself like a cat who just woke up in nest full of birds. When I got there, I paused just outside the door to lean my head against the wood. I could hear music wafting from inside. Zen was listening to the musical _Hamilton_ \- again - and singing along in a strong, clear voice. 

“I’m young, scrappy and hungry… and I’m not throwing away my shot,” he sang with a sassy bravado. I know he loved this song especially, and in my mind’s eye, I could picture him strutting around the kitchen, a silver-haired, red-eyed James Dean-type down on his luck. I let another slow smile spread across my face as I turned my key in the lock and shoved the door open with one knee. God, he was adorable.

“Hi honey, I’m home,” I called. The smell of simmering chili hit me as soon as I opened the door. Zen appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking gorgeous as usual. His slight muscular frame was perfectly outlined, backlit by the warm glow of the kitchen. His long hair was slightly mussed and sticking up at odd angles. How could he possibly have sexy bedhead already?

“Hey babe,” he said, moving forward to envelope me in a hug. I loved that he was more than a head taller than me. It made me feel safe.

“Hi,” I said, breathing him in. The scent of Zen, I think I’ve said before, is delicious. Going back to the cat analogy, to me he might as well be catnip.

The kiss came next, long and warm. I could taste the tomatoes and chilis on his lips and feel the slight extra kick of heat and spice that came with it. 

“Mmm,” I murmured. “Chile de arbol?”

“Hot stuff for a hot babe,” he murmured back, and he kissed me again. This time his hands slid down the length of my back and cupped my ass, pulling me up and closer. God, I hadn’t even put down my bag yet. At this rate, we weren’t going to make it that long.

“You smell good,” he whispered. His hot breath on my neck coupled with the cadence of his voice had an ASMR effect. Like the chili on the stove, my body was starting to heat up to a slow simmer.

“So do you,” I said. I let my bag slide off my shoulder to the floor. Zen’s hands were on my shoulders, working my coat off. Somehow he was still kissing me and I was moving backwards toward the couch in the living room, kicking off my heels as I went. 

“Oh, Zen,” I breathed. His mouth was on my neck now, his lips working their way to the hollow space between my neck and collarbone. He knew this is where I liked it. The combination of heat and kisses here drives me wild, makes my body insane for him. I whimpered a little bit or I maybe I moaned, or maybe both, I’m not sure which.

“God, you’re so hot,” he said, as he lowered me gently back on the couch. I was already reaching for bottom edges of his tee-shirt and yanking it upwards. I wanted to feel his skin on my skin, his heat on my heat, as quickly as possible. He decided to help me out and pulled back momentarily to lift his shirt over his head. I felt all the blood rush to my cheeks as my gaze fastened on his naked chest. God, he was just so damn beautiful. In the chatroom he was always going on about how his looks were the work of the gods and yada, yada, and to be honest, I used to roll my eyes a little and grow impatient with his narcissism in the beginning. But then I saw him in person, in the flesh, and I’ve been under his spell ever since. Turns out he wasn’t in the least bit exaggerating. This man was a work of art.

Impulsively I sat up and put my mouth on his chest. I had this insatiable desire to kiss and suckle and feel every inch of him. I was already half gone, my eyes half closed, my breath coming quick like an animal. I’d waited so long, too long. I wanted him now.

Apparently he did, too. He let out a low moan as I let one of hands move over the front of his jeans. He was already rock solid, hard like a beast. I pulled back to look at him and smiled, a little satisfied with myself, maybe a little drunk on my power over him. With a playfully wicked look in my eye, I began to slowly undo the buttons on my shirt.

“Oh damn,” he whispered, in a low there’s no going back sort of way. His red eyes glowered low at mine. They said, _are you sure?_ My eyes smiled back, _are you fucking kidding me?_ Our eyes clearly had their own language. I loved this about us.

Then when I unhooked my bra at the front and let the straps fall off my shoulders, his eyes went wide, and he gasped in awe at my bare breasts.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he said. He moved forward and I lay back on the couch letting his lips greet my tits most intimately for the first time.

\-------

Zen was on again, off again nervous all day. His mood fluctuated between boisterous and confident to jittery and unsure in cycles of minutes. He couldn’t help but think that there was so much truth in all the talk about how love makes people crazy, in literature, in song, in film. Here he was experiencing it full-on, in real time. One minute he was light-headed and dizzy, the next minute, queasy and kind of sick. Maybe he was literally going insane? He couldn’t tell, and yet it felt so good, and then not so good, etc.

At least this will be great inspiration for my work as an actor, he thought with a smile. At least he was still able to laugh at himself.

That evening, when MC walked through the door, all Zen’s nervousness disappeared. The moment he heard her sweet voice call, _honey, I’m home_ , his whole being relaxed into a calm sense of joy. When he walked in to meet her and saw her standing in the doorway, he felt that calm sense of well being sizzle with something electric. Her long brown hair was loose, wind blown and hanging in her face, her cheeks flushed with the evening chill. Then there was that smile. The way she completely lights up when she sees him - she does this every time they meet. Well, it makes his heart melt, and his heart was melting now and stirring something else inside him much deeper.

Zen knew this deeper thing was the beast, but for some reason, this night, in this moment, he was not afraid. Somehow he knew, he finally trusted, that everything would be OK. Since he loved her, since he really loved her, and she loved him, he knew that these feelings of wanting would only add to his feelings of joy. So without reserve he went to meet MC in the hallway. Slowly, and with great intention, he wrapped his long arms around her and kissed her, pulling her close. Without concern, he let the kisses grow longer and deeper, let his hands wander and explore her. He breathed her in, let himself become intoxicated by every part of her as it mingled with every part of him. Together they were not two people anymore, they were one. _Mine, ours, us,_ he thought.  


In the end, the fact that Zen was a virgin didn’t end up playing a major role in events. In fact, it didn’t even seem to matter to Zen that Seven turned out to be right about just about every single thing (not really all that surprising, Seven was a genius after all). Sure, Zen came pretty quickly the first time, but there were plenty more times after that. Then there was that awkward moment with the condom, but MC played it so smooth he didn’t even have time to feel subconscious. 

In fact, the condom moment may have been one of Zen’s favorite moments, and looking back, he wouldn’t have changed it for the world. There he was, one moment turning the sticky rubber over in his hands, not sure which way was up. Then there MC was, so sweet and ready to help. Her bright brown eyes gave him a look that said I got this, and he relaxed. When she paused to tuck a piece of her long hair behind one ear and smiled, she looked so cute, LOL. Zen watched as she expertly turned the condom little hat side up and rolled it down, all the while making the whole thing sexy as hell. No big deal.

\----

Later, in the middle of the night, they ate burnt chili they had to scrape off the bottom of the pot.

“I didn’t know that could happen,” MC said. They were sitting cross-legged from each other sharing one bowl, two spoons, between them.

“Yeah, neither did I,” Zen smiled. He had been remembering with fondness having been woken from their post-coital slumber by the sound of the smoke alarm. “I guess anything can burn if you leave it long enough.”

MC reached over to wipe a smudge of tomato sauce from Zen’s gorgeous lip with her thumb and smiled. She was so happy.

“So,” she said, peeking up at Zen from behind her bangs. “Did I, you know, live up to expectations?”

His his eyes told her all she needed to know. Without a word, Zen moved the empty bowl aside and filled the space between them. He was never going to let her go.


	5. Echo Girl's Revenge

We finally got back to sleep around 3:30am, because, you know, chili makes you hungry for other things :-)  


After falling asleep, I remember having the most blissful dream. I was floating in a warm, deep blue ocean. All I could see was clear cerulean sky and water, there was no land, no boat, in sight. I guess this should have really scared me, the big bad ocean and all, but it didn’t because I was floating next to Zen. He was holding my hand. I don’t know how I knew that, but when I turned my head, he was there. He might’ve been asleep - I couldn’t see his eyes because he was wearing these dark sunglasses. He might’ve been awake, because he was smiling - who smiles when they’re sleeping? - and I think he was caressing my thumb. Of course he looked gorgeous in his swimming trunks. He looked like a model, well, I guess because he is a model. The sun was warm, but not too high or too hot, and the light was illuminating his skin in this almost superhuman sort of way. My eyes couldn’t help but follow the trail of sparse silver hair trailing from his belly button to where it disappeared beneath the elastic of his shorts…  


I was just about to speak when a loud piercing repetitive sound introduced itself into my dream. I blinked my eyes and moved my head, trying to shake it away, but it was so insistent, so non-relenting, that my conscious self finally had to concede, oh I get it, this is just a dream and that annoying noise is real.  


When I opened my real eyes, the room was silent and so I was even more confused. Zen’s bedroom looked normal, nothing amiss. He was an extremely tidy person, surprising for a guy in his twenties, and he had taste. Most guys his age, I’d noticed, didn’t really have a flare for decorating, and it’s not that I would say that Zen was much of an interior designer either, but at least you could look at his room and get an idea about the person who lived here. The king-sized futon took up most of the room and was adorned by, in my opinion, almost way too many pillows. There were several posters on the wall, vintage prints from some of his favorite musicals and films - _Breakfast At Tiffany's_ and _Rent_ were the ones I recognized - and he kept them all framed. There was also some reproductions of fine art. My favorite, Picasso’s Three Dancers hung squarely over the bed. I loved looking in the mirror across the room and studying it in its inverse form. It made me remember that everything isn’t always as it seems.  


Then the noise started again, loud and insistent, and my conscious persona recognized this as my phone, and the particular ringtone I’d chosen for work.  


“Shit!” Zen said, suddenly instantly awake and sitting up next to me. He was annoyed and I couldn’t decide if the look on his face, with his features twisted and angry, were less hot than others. It wasn’t a look I saw before, so maybe it had the benefit that it was new to me. “What the fuck is that?”  


“Sorry,” I said, reaching over him to silence my phone, which was charging on the bedside table next to the side of the bed where he was sleeping. As I did this, I felt my breasts brush against his chest, which gave me a rush even though I was wearing one of his tee-shirts. I’ve never liked to sleep naked. It made me feel exposed. Zen was wearing boxers.  


“Who’s calling you at six in the morning?” Zen asked.  


I looked at the list of missed calls. They all contained the same area code and generic caller ID “C&R International”, but it wasn’t Jumin or Jaehee, I know, because their names and individual profile pics would’ve popped up on my phone.  


“I have no idea,” I said. This time I had accidentally declined the call when I picked up my phone, so it had stopped ringing, but no worries because it started ringing again almost immediately. This time I picked up on the first ring.  


“Hello?” I said, genuinely curious.  


“There you are, my dear!” A familiar, but not really placeable female voice responded.  


“Yes?” I said, my brain was frantically trying to bridge the familiarity and instinct gap I was feeling. I know who this is, I just don’t know who this is.  


“Darling!” the voice said, and as soon as she said that it that way, I knew who it was. Echo Girl.  


“How did you get this number?” I said, hotly.  


“Oh, sweetie,” she said. “Don’t you know? Jumin gave it to me of course. Or really, not Jumin, directly, although he should have been the one. Why he is so cold to me? I’ll never know.” She sighed. “That girl, the one that works for him, what’s-her-name? Jaehee? She informed me that you’re the one who’s handling my account now.”  


Zen was looking at me now with a questioning look. _Who is it?_ His eyes were saying.  


“Echo Girl,” I said out loud in answer, partially to him, partially to her. “Why are you calling me so early?”  


Zen’s red eyes went wide and his whole body jolted with surprise. The look he gave me said, _Echo Girl? WTF? Why is she calling you?_  


“You’re my handler now, yes?” Echo Girl said. “I have needs, certain needs, you need to be aware of.”  


“Oh?” I said. My mind was reeling. I hadn’t even gotten the paperwork on her yet. I knew she was doing the cat commercial, but I didn’t know where or when that was taking place.  


“Yes,” she said. “Usually I’d have my assistant call you, but I wanted to get off on the right foot, you know?”  


“OK…” I said. Zen was standing up now and gesticulating wildly, still _WTF, what is going on, MC?_ I let my eyes spit back with a wave of my hand, _just chill_.  


“I know shooting doesn’t start until next week,” Echo Girl crooned. “But there are several things I require on set…”  


She went on to list a laundry list of things, but all the items were so specific and unfamiliar that they were wafting over me like empty air. After about a minute and a half, I cut her off.  


“Kyungju,” I interrupted.  


“Don’t call me that!” she said, her voice high and shrill. “Nobody calls me that.”  


“Excuse me,” I said, recovering. The fact that Zen had revealed Echo Girl’s true name during the scandal had been a major pain point in the whole ordeal. “Echo Girl,” I said as I swallowed my pride. “I’m sorry.”  


“You should be!” she said. “You know you work for me now. Since you’re friends with Zen…”  


_We were more than friends_ , I thought. My eyebrows knit together in a scathing “V”. Zen saw it and his eyes popped like, _uh-oh_.  


“...I was trying to give you special consideration,” she said. I could hear the coy smile in her voice. “Is my lovey-hubby there now?”  


She said it in her TV voice which lit me red hot. It was hard enough, after everything, to have to endure every aspect of the making of _More Than Friends_ , the new hit TV show in which Echo Girl and Zen were co-stars, but to have her TV pet name thrown in my face in my real life was more than I could bear. I could tell that this assignment was going to be even more hell than I imagined - and I had imagined something like _Dante’s Inferno_.  


“Don’t call him that,” I said, feeling jealousy hot on the tip of my tongue. Zen usually thought that me being a little jealous was kind of cute, but not with Echo Girl, for some reason. This, of course, only fueled my ire.  


Zen had left the bedroom and I heard the shower turn on.  


“Oh, does that bother you, dear?” Echo Girl cooed. “It’s just what I’m used to calling him, you know. They say it’s acting, but after all, it all comes from someplace real.”  


I resisted the urge to hurl my phone against the wall, or the mirror. _How dare she_ , I thought and then, _that bitch_. Again I took a beat to take a breath and swallow. I had to think of Zen and what was in his best interest. Rich, powerful and born from a family of influence, we already knew what Echo Girl was capable of. We’d already experienced it firsthand. We’d narrowly escaped her wrath once, but no need to tread that path again. Besides, I hated to admit, More Than Friends, was a huge success and had just been funded for its second season. Even though he preferred acting on stage and in musicals, it was lucrative. All said and done, it was probably Zen’s largest source of income.  


The fictional world of _More Than Friends_ centered around a group of friends who lived in shared apartments situated in the same apartment complex, intentionally modeled after the American hit series _Friends_. Zen and Echo Girl, in the show called Jae-joon and Ji-yoo - yes, I know, how fucking cute - were engaged in an on-again, off-again love interest relationship which was characterized as the real deal. “Jae-joon and Ji-yoo” had taken the country by storm - the saga had become the most idealized romance in popular culture, and I did my best to ignore it.  


“What do you need, Echo Girl?” I said, finally, scowling at my own plain face in the mirror. It was moments like this when I had to admit that I was no Echo Girl. I did not have size D natural breasts, nor big eyes and perfectly wavy hair.  


“Like I said,” she said. “I just wanted you to be aware of my requirements.”  


“Uh,” I stammered. I hated to admit my ignorance in this situation, but I didn’t really see any way around it. “To be honest, Echo Girl, I only caught about half the things on that list. Would you mind sending me, or having your assistant send me, a detailed itemized list?” I paused to take a breath and eat some crow. “I’d really hate to miss anything....” I breathed. “...that you require.”  


I heard Echo Girl’s movie star chuckle on the other end of the line. “Oh, of course, dear,” she said. “Of course. I’ll have Eun-yi, my assistant, reach out via email.”  


There was a long pause and then Echo Girl clicked her tongue in a satisfied way. “Well, then,” she said. “I look forward to seeing you, and Zen. I do hope he’ll visit on set.”  


“He’s allergic to cats,” I said automatically.  


“Oh, of course,” she said. “Then we’ll have to have you over for dinner, or maybe a weekend at Farmview.”  


“Mmm hmm,” I nodded and murmured into the phone. I already knew I’d rather die than spend a weekend at Echo Girl’s family weekend estate with Zen and Echo Girl.  


“Well then,” she said. “Tootles.”  


The line went dead, and I didn’t bother to be offended that she didn’t give me a chance to say good-bye.  


I wanted to barf. I might’ve literally gagged. _Ugh_.


	6. Sowing the Seeds of Doubt

The questions started as soon as Zen got out of the shower.

"So why is Echo Girl calling you?" he said. As I watched him wrap a towel around his lower half, I resisted the urge to back him up against the shower door and start mauling him with kisses.

"Um, yeah," I started, blinking the image of doing him in the bathroom out of my mind - for now. "I was going to tell you yesterday and then, um… forgot." I bit my lower lip remembering just why I had forgotten to tell Zen about my new assignment, us being otherwise engaged for the better part of last night. "I'm going to be her handler for that cat commercial."

Zen's jaw dropped and his tongue almost rolled out of his mouth. "What?!" he said. "You're kidding me."

"I wish I was," I said, leaning forward to brush mascara on an eyelash. I could see Zen in the reflection of the mirror. His mouth was twisted into one of those unfamiliar angry modes.

"Why you?" he said, tugging, I thought maybe a little too hard, at his wet hair with the towel.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Jumin just called me into his office and said I was doing it."

"And you said yes?" He said.

"Well, I didn't get the feeling I had much of a choice," I said. "He was pretty insistent."

I watched as Zen practically stomped into his boxers. God, he had nice legs.

"So this is Trust Fund Kid's doing?" Zen said, kind of snarled actually. "That jerk. Who does he think he is?"

Zen opened a drawer to pull out a tee-shirt and then slammed it shut. Why was he so angry? I mean, I didn't want to work with Echo Girl, either, but I wasn't up in arms about it.

"Why are you so upset about this?" I said, deciding to voice my thoughts aloud. "I mean I don't want to work with her either, but it's just one commercial."

Zen punched his arms into the sleeves of his tee-shirt, getting ready to pull it down over his head. Good-bye, beautiful muscles, I thought to myself, good-bye until later.

"You don't know Kyungju like I do," he said, shaking his head at the floor. "She is kind of a handful to work with… and that may be the understatement of the century."

"Babe," I said, dusting the final bits of powder on my cheeks and nose. "Don't you think you're over-reacting? I mean, maybe a little?"

"Man, I don't know," he paused to run both hands through his silver hair. "Somehow this is trouble. I can feel it."

I got up from my seat at the mirror, went over to him and put my hands on his shoulders.

"Babe," I said. "Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl. I can handle Kyungju." I smiled and slipped my arms around his back, letting my hands slide up and under his black tee-shirt. His skin was warm and soft and smooth. I pulled him closer and he groaned.

"It's just…" he started.

I reached up to pull his face toward mine and smiled.

"Just shut up and kiss me, OK?" I said, and he did.

 

\---------

 

Later at work, I was taking a break from emails to chat with Seven on the Messenger App. He was trying to convince me to convince Zen to go out on a double date with him and his girlfriend, Lexi Ann. Seven and Lexi Ann had become a heavy item just recently after the two of them embarked on a mission to save Seven's brother, Sarean, from an evil organization called Mint Eye. Seven's brother, Sarean, had basically been brainwashed by their leader and had committed a number of crimes, including some high profile hacking. In fact, it turned out that Sarean was actually the hacker that lead me to the RFA apartment in the first place, and also the one who attacked me later. Well, to make a very long story short, Seven and Lexi Ann were able to bring Sarean back from the edge of insanity, and now the twin red-headed brothers were thick as thieves once again. Lexi Ann and Sarean also became full-time members of the RFA. Considering everything that happened, I probably should hold more of a grudge against Sarean, or at least be afraid of him, but I don't, and I'm not. He was out of his mind when he attacked me and besides, if he had never led me to that apartment, well I don't want to think about what life would've been like if I had never met Zen.

I was just about to tell Seven I'd do my best to arrange that double date when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jaehee making a very business-like beeline toward my desk.

MC: Got to go. Incoming.

Seven: Short with dark brown hair and glasses?

MC: Ya.

Seven: Laterz.

Less that seven seconds later, Jaehee was dumping a huge silver binder on my desk.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Look book for the cat food commercial," she said. "So you can get an idea about what we're looking for. Shooting starts on Monday, by the way."

I frowned. It was Thursday, only a few days away, so that wasn't going to give me much time to prepare. I picked up the book and started flipping through the pages. Inside there was page after page of intricate sketches of a beautiful woman dressed in long flowing dressing gown surrounded by what seemed like dozens of cats. Here they were lounging on a settee. There they were admiring the woman as she sat at her vanity. The one that was probably most over the top and made me the most uncomfortable was the one where they were all sprawling together on a heart-shaped bed.

"Where's the food?" I said.

"What food?" Jaehee said.

"The cat food," I said. "That is what you're selling, right?"

"Oh yes, we decided to 'can' that," Jaehee said, snickering and when she did this, she also snorted a bit, which made her seem like the totally obedient and hard-working I-have-no-life-of-my-own office nerd that she is. "Get it?"

I did get it, but I didn't think it was that funny, so I just looked at her. Jaehee cleared her throat and continued.

"Well, turns out the art director didn't think the cat food looked… uh, very appealing, so we went for the artistic interpretation instead."

"I see," I said, not really seeing at all, but knowing enough to realize when it's useless to argue the point. "So what do you want me to do?" I thought I was just supposed to work with Echo Girl, get her from point A to point B, provide her with the endless list of requirements her assistant had emailed me this morning, but apparently I was under informed.

"Well, you know, achieving this look is up to you," Jaehee said in that annoying, matter-of-fact business-like tone of hers. "Mr. Han and I are counting on you to deliver."

"Wait," I said. I suddenly pictured myself having to cajole and persuade Echo Girl to do this and that amongst a pile of cats on a heart-shaped bed. I'd spent enough time with her and Zen on set to be able to audibly imagine her whiney protests. Maybe Zen was right. Maybe this was a horrible idea worth getting angry about. My heart sank. "You want me to be the director?"

"Of sorts," Jaehee said. "We don't have the budget for a director, per se, but we have you…"

"But I…" I started.

Jaehee shushed me with a finger. "Now come on, MC," she said, peering at me from over her glasses. "You've proven yourself very capable in the past."

"I know, but I…" I started again, but Jaehee was already walking away.

"Mr. Han and I won't take no for answer," Jaehee said in a sing-song voice.

I considered for a moment going after her, but decided against it. What good would it do? I started to flip through the pages of the look book again. The "look" was ridiculous. This project clearly had Jumin's propensity for weird cat lust all over it. I sighed and put my head in my hands.

Why did everything about this project make me want barf?

 

\---------

 

After work, I met Zen in front of my yoga studio. Although he was a traditional workout kind of guy, you know, typical cardio and weights, I had convinced him to go to yoga with me - to at least try it. I had fantasies of us someday being one of those couples who did partner yoga on the beach. I could already envision him lying on his back on the sand and balancing me in the air on his two feet. Or us intertwined in a cobra double helix. Just think of all the trust and intimacy we could build. I was getting hot just thinking about it.

When I got there, Zen was standing outside the studio, leaning against the wall and tapping his thigh. He looked gorgeous of course with his leather jacket thrown over his dark sweatpants and tee-shirt. No fair, how did anyone get to look good in sweatpants? By the very nature of the name, he should look at least a little less gorgeous, right? But nope, he still looked like a god. When he saw me, he smiled.

"Hey, pretty girl," Zen said, leaning down to kiss me on the lips. He smelled delicious, of course, and I took a moment to stand on tiptoe and nuzzle my face in his neck. _Mmmm…_

"Hi yourself," I said, whispering into his skin. We clung together like this for a bit until I finally willed myself to pull away. We were in public, after all. Zen looked at me as if to say you're so cute and linked his hand in mine

"So, princess," he said, tossing his head at the entrance. "How does this work?"

I pulled him past the other yogis and up to the register to get us signed up and set up with two mats. Then I excused myself to the dressing room to change out of my work clothes. While I was changing in front of my locker, I overheard two of the other girls talking.

"I know that was him!" one of them was saying. I peaked under my armpit to catch a glimpse of the speaker. She was short and perky with a blond bob and a cute little turned up nose. She was wearing very skimpy yoga shorts and one of those criss-cross yoga tops. Of course she had the perfect yoga body to match, every muscle rippled and just toned enough. I looked down at my own belly. I wasn't exactly fat, but I wasn't toned either. I had a long, long way to go before I had even a hint of a six pack, and quite a bit further than that to go to achieve hot yoga babe status.

"It was totally him," the other girl squealed back. She was a tall, slender redhead with the most adorable freckles. "Yeah, can you believe it? We saw Zen in the flesh!"

"God, could he be any more gorgeous?" the blond one gushed.

"Uh, not possibly," the redhead said. "Like I'm not sure he's human."

"We should ask for a picture," the blond one said. "My cousin said she ran into him at a coffee shop once and that he was really nice."

"Yeah, I've heard that he's really dedicated to his fans," the redhead said. Then they both sighed and giggled.

"God, Echo Girl is soooo lucky," the blond girl said. "If he were my man, I don't know how I'd ever get out of the house."

I felt my cheeks get red hot. Echo Girl wasn't Zen's girlfriend. That's only on the show, stupid, I thought. Someone should tell her. His real girlfriend was _me_.

Then, almost as if she had heard my thoughts, the redhead spoke, though I'm not so sure what she said was any better.

"You know that Echo Girl isn't Zen's real girlfriend, not in real life, anyway," she said with an air of confidence, an I-know-something-that-you-don't kind of tone. "Remember that huge scandal? I mean, it was just a few months ago. Anyway, that's when Zen made that announcement, introduced his real girlfriend on TV," she paused for emphasis. "It was so romantic!"

"Oh, really?" Blondie said. "What was she like?"

"Well, that's the thing," Red said. "You should've seen her… I mean she just wasn't all that, not like you'd expect. I mean, she was kind of a zero, actually, quiet, shy, no personality. I mean she had this mess of brown hair that basically hung in her face and…"

I stopped listening after that. I didn't want to hear any more. It felt like all the life drained from my body at that moment, and I had to fight the urge to bolt and run. I didn't want to draw attention to myself and risk being recognized. God, I had never really thought, nor cared, what Zen's fans might think of me. Now that I knew, though, I couldn't really unknow, if you know what I mean.

I made sure to let the girls go out of the dressing room first. I wanted to give them time to get their pictures taken with Zen without me barging in or giving myself away. Besides, who wants the big "zero" girlfriend to butt in and ruin the moment? Instead I took extra time to brush my hair. Slowly I pulled it into two low ponytails at the base of my neck, and then stepped back to examine myself in the mirror. Those girls were right, my bangs did really hang in my face and cover my eyes. Just out of curiosity, I tried lifting them up and out of the way with my fingers, and then pushing them aside. What would I look like with shorter bangs or shorter hair, I wondered. Would I be cuter, more approachable?

When I came out of the locker room, Zen was waiting for me, alone and smiling at me like I was the only girl in the world. He took my hands and pulled me close.

"Damn, you look so cute with your hair that way," he said. Then he took a step back to look a me fully and his eyes narrowed. "But isn't that top a bit tiny? I don't know if I'm going to be able to concentrate on poses when all I want to be doing is staring at your belly." He laughed and led me into the studio, where he'd set up our mats side by side.

I kept waiting for him to bring up the fact that two of his fans were here, but he didn't - and he didn't even look at those girls, didn't even glance their way, not even once.


	7. Sing For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Fair warning, there is some mature, steamy content in this chapter... If you're squeamish you may want to skip the middle bit.

There are some great parts about dating a narcissist. For instance, after an epic round of lovemaking, Zen got up, put on a record and began to serenade me. Yup, that’s right, there he was, the silver-haired god in his checkered boxer shorts, using the wooden mallet from the singing bowl as a microphone. 

“My love, there’s only you in my life…” he started to sing. 

I couldn’t help but giggle as he pranced from one end of the room to the other, dramatically performing both parts from the duet “Endless Love” the title track from the hit movie of the same name. Somehow he managed to toggle between the two voices. It was hilarious. He used a deep masculine baritone for the Lionel Ritchie part, and a high feminine alto for Diana Ross, which he couldn’t quite pull it off. I nearly cried laughing. It was so cute.

As the song went on, Zen continued to ham it up with grand gestures, dramatic looks and pauses. Sometimes he’d go so far as to jump onto the bed, lean in close and sing directly into my eyes.

“...and your eyes, your eyes, your eyes… they tell me how much you care…” he crooned.

It was corny as hell, but when the song got to the instrumental part, Zen got more serious. With an intense look in his eyes, he strode over to the bed, took my hand and pulled me up on my feet. A second later I was in his arms and dancing, wearing nothing but the tee shirt he had on earlier. Holding me so close, he swayed me back and forth. My head on his chest, I could hear his heartbeat. My body became putty in his arms and I knew I was his. I would do anything he wanted. I wanted to do anything he wanted.

When the song got to the "boom, boom, boom" part, Zen pulled me closer to hum the melody close into my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and my body was brimming with anticipation.

"Oh Hyun," I whispered into his neck, and at the sound of his name he squeezed me tight and sighed. I'd never called him by his given name before, and I could tell he liked it.

"'This love I have inside… I give it all to you… My love, my love, my love… My endless love…" Zen continued to whisper the last bars of the song into my ear, and I swear I nearly came undone without him having touched me anywhere near there.

Yes, he was an utter cheese ball and I loved him. I loved him so much in that moment I couldn't see straight.

We swayed back and forth for a while after the song ended until Zen stepped back to cup my cheeks in his hands. He pulled my head close to his, so our foreheads were touching.

"I love you, MC," he said, looking deeply into my eyes. "I really do." He'd said it before, but there was something about the way he said it now that left me breathless, so breathless I couldn't speak. Instead I instinctively reached both my arms up to clasp the back of his neck and pulled him down on top of me.

Zen pressed his lips to mine and it was easy to get lost in the kiss. His lips were so soft, so gentle. I let his tongue part mine, push inside and tenderly explore my mouth. I returned the favor wanting to taste him, enjoying the flavor and feeling of him, getting a little bit drunk on it as our mouths lulled into an effortless rhythm.

I let out a moan as I felt his hands slide up my body underneath the fabric of my shirt and start to fondle my breasts. His fingertips felt like velvet as they smoothed over the round curves of my skin. I shuddered and gasped as he grasped a nipple, coaxing it hard between thumb and forefinger. I started to squirm and wiggle my hips, pressing my thighs together in an attempt to address the heat that was building down there. As much as I was loving his hands on my breasts, I wanted his hands to slide lower…

"Zen," I sighed, and then I got distracted as he pressed himself, still sheathed in his boxers, hard against my thigh. I reached up to slide my hands down his back and began to push and pull at the band of his boxers in an attempt to remove them. Zen stopped touching my breasts long enough to help me wiggle them off, and I sighed again when I felt his bare cock press up hard against my entrance.

Somehow, through all of this, Zen was still kissing me, but he stopped at this point long enough to pull me up to help me remove my shirt. "Here," he whispered as he lifted the last piece of clothing between us up over my head and tossed it to the ground. Zen's red eyes went wide. The light from the full moon was pouring in the room, illuminating my breasts, swollen and round from his touch, nipples hard. "Aw man," he said, his voice low and throaty. "You're so beautiful." He lunged forward, pressing his face to my chest. Taking a nipple into his mouth, he began to suck and circle the hard nub with his tongue. The feeling electrified my whole body. Instinctively, I lifted my hips up off the bed, pressing myself into his hardness so that he gasped.

"I want you, Hyun," I whispered, my eyes dark, lidded with lust.

"What?" he said, lifting his head to look at me. "What did you say?" His mouth was half open and then it broke into a sexy grin. "God, I love to hear you say that, my name… Say it again."

"I want you, Hyun," I said it again and his red eyes grew darker. I felt his cock grow harder, and I reached down to wrap my fingers around the length of it. I let my thumb slide up to the tip and began to swirl the precum around the head. Zen groaned. "Please, Hyun."

Without another word, Zen got up and reached over to the bedside table for a condom. His breath was coming hot and heavy now and he looked at me with beast eyes as he tore the rubber out of the package and rolled it down the length of his shaft. Then he positioned himself on top of me, reaching down to spread my lips.

"Aw damn, Princess," he said, flashing me a sultry smile. "You a little bit ready for me down there?" He removed his fingers, lifting them up to show me, glistening in the moonlight. I watched while, without breaking my gaze, he stuck those fingers in his mouth, tasting me. "You're so delicious, babe," he said. I felt my cheeks flush with heat. I couldn't wait any longer.

"Please, Hyun," I whispered, almost pleading, hoping that the sound of his true name on my lips would get me what I wanted, what I so desperately needed, the feeling of him inside me, now.

He needed no other prompting. "God, I love you," Zen said as he lowered himself down on top of me. Gently he pressed himself into me gradually, slowly, watching my eyes grow wider as I received every inch of him. "Oh…" I sighed with pleasure as he began to move. "Oh, god…"

"You. Feel. So. Good. Babe…" Zen whispered into my ear as he made love to me. The record was still playing in the background, which made it all seem so much more beautiful. I don't know what it was, maybe it was the cheesy song, Zen singing to me in the first place, but I was feeling so sentimental, just overflowing with emotions. That coupled with the sensations of the lovemaking was making everything more intense, and when I came, I believed in that moment that I had never loved anybody, and would never love anybody, more than I loved Ryu Hyun.

Later, after it was over, and we lay together on our backs, panting and holding hands, I told him so.

"You know," I said, rolling over on top of him so that our naked bodies were pressed together and I could look into his eyes. "Zen, honey… Hyun... I love you, too… I love you so, so much." There were tears in my eyes and I said the words slowly with my mouth, but I felt them with my whole heart, my whole body, and he smiled.

"I'm really glad to hear you say that," he said.

Suddenly I felt scared. Staring into his eyes like this, feeling so under the power of his touch, I got this feeling I might lose myself. I touched him lightly on the chin and tried to blink the thought away. "You know," I said with a little defiance, maybe trying to lighten the mood. "I may even love you 'endlessly'… I'm just not going to sing it."

Zen laughed and rolled me over, and then yes, we did it again.

\---

I was an idiot the whole next day at work, remembering scenes in my head from the night before, playing them back in my mind with a stupid smile on my face. At least twice Jaehee caught me in this state of chronic daydreaming.

“Earth to MC,” she said to me during a meeting. She reached over to smack me on the shoulder, and when I didn’t repond right away, she pinched me. 

“Ow!” I said, pulling my arm away. She’d left a big red mark where her fingers had been. “What the heck, Jaehee?”

“Stop thinking about Zen!” She shouted at me from over her glasses. By now I knew that any time she said anything or looked out over her glasses like that, she meant serious business. “This is not the time, nor the place for lustful thoughts,” she said.

My cheeks flushed. “Lustful thoughts?!” I said. “How do you know they were lustful thoughts?”

She gave me a piercing are-you-kidding-me look, followed by a believe-me-I-know glare for good measure, both over the rim of her glasses. Did I mention that she doesn’t even have to use words to let you know she’s business serious?

“Fine,” I said, still rubbing the spot where she had pinched me. It still hurt. A lot. “OK, Jaehee, ok…. You’ve got my full attention now. Let’s go over it again.”

“It” was a long list of all the action items needed to be taken care of in preparation for the cat commercial shoot, which was happening on Monday. For the rest of the meeting, I tried to pay attention, or at least tried to look like I was paying attention, as Jaehee went over every detail. It was an ambitious plan. Jaehee and Jumin hoped that I would be efficient enough to complete everything and get all the shots they needed in one day. It would save money, and it would save time, a “win-win” as Jaehee liked to call it. I was dubious. There were twelve different scenes and two costume changes. Doing the math in my head, calculating time needed vs. time available, it was an equation that equaled impossible.

There were two tasks that were bothering me the most. Nevermind that I was going to have to literally herd cats, about 24 of them. Apparently Echo Girl hadn’t seen any of the plans yet, including the outrageous costumes depicted in the look book. Jaehee wasn’t much of a consolation.

“I don’t know what you’re going to do, MC,” Jaehee said. “I suppose you’ll just have to find some way to convince her to wear them. There literally isn’t anything else to do.”

“There must be another option,” I said, tracing a finger around the picture of the red velvet chiffon dressing gown with the feather boa fringe, sighing at the high-necked period piece-looking gingham dress that had “somebody’s great aunt” written all over it. “Frankly, Jaehee, these are some of the most hideous dresses I have ever seen, and if I think that, i can only imagine what Echo Girl is going to have to say about them.”

“Mr. Han was very clear,” Jaehee said. 

Of course Jumin had picked the dresses. Damn him and his creepy taste and predilections. 

“Jaehee,” I said. “You know these are awful. There must be something we can do…”

Jaehee merely shrugged her shoulders as if to say not my problem and I sighed. Feeling defeated and in way too over my head, I stashed the task sheet between the pages of the look book and slammed it shut, where it could safely be out of sight and out of mind.

“Frankly,” I said, letting my eyes get twinkly. “I’d rather look forward to my upcoming proper Friday night plans.” I looked at Jaehee. “You guys are still coming, right, boss?”

Jaehee frowned and looked down at her phone. “I told you not to call me that,” she said.

“Oh, sorry, boss,” I said smiling. There was something really fun about picking on Jaehee. She was so uptight.

So I hadn’t been able to convince Zen to go on a double date with just Saeyoung and Lexi Ann, but I did get him to agree to a larger RFA meet up.

“I just don’t know if I’d be that comfortable hanging out with just Saeyoung and his new girlfriend,” Zen told me this morning while we were getting dressed. 

“Lexi Ann,” I reminded him. “Her name is Lexi Ann.”

“Yeah, yeah, Lexi Ann,” he said, stepping into his jeans and pulling them up. “I mean, they’re just kind of weird.”

“Weird?” I said, lifting an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Well, Saeyoung just has…” Zen paused. He seemed to be reaching for the right word. “Well, he has what, you know, you might call an ‘alternative’ sense of humor.”

“‘Alternative’?” I laughed. “Is that a real PC term for ‘weird’ or did you just make it up?”

Zen shot me a wry smile, his eyes saying _ok, miss smartie pants_.

“Well, you wouldn’t let me say weird,” he said. “But yeah, he’s _weird_ … and Lexi Ann, well she just winds him up and makes it worse, because now he’s weird _and_ in love.”

“Yes, they do get along, don’t they?” I said, smiling, thinking of their witty back and forth chatter in the messenger app. “It’s really sweet, though, isn’t it? That they found each other.”

Zen turned around and kissed me on the mouth. “Yeah, I guess it _is_ sweet,” he said. “But certainly not as sweet as us.”

_Nothing was as sweet as us._

“So you’re in, then?” I said, after the kiss. I looked at him and gave him my best batting eyelashes. 

“What, for the double date?” Zen said. He sighed and then I watched as his typically intense red eyes got all soft. “Yeah, I guess I’ll go,” he said, finally. “But on one condition…the other RFA members have to come, too… You know, in order to round out the awkward.”

“Ok, ok,” I said, squeezing his hand as a promise. “I’ll round up Jaehee and Jumin. You call Yoosung.”

Back in the office, Jaehee was still scrolling through pages on her phone, so I repeated the question. “You guys are still coming out tonight, yes?”

Jaehee looked up startled. “Oh yes,” she said. “I was just checking to make sure I’d ordered the car. This whole ordeal was rather last minute, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, kind of,” I said. “But in my experience the more spontaneous the party, the better it usually is.”

“Well, I’ll have to take your word for it. I usually prefer a modicum of preparation and planning,” Jaehee said and then she snorted. “I made Jumin promise he would not bring up any additional cat projects.”

“Do you think he’ll listen?” I smiled. 

“One can always hope,” Jaehee sighed, and I could tell we both doubted it.

\----

We were meeting everyone at Prince Edward Su, a Karaoke bar located in between the business and college districts, which probably meant the patrons would be a healthy mix of business CEO types like Jumin, and college student types like Yoosung. I’d reserved a room for ten guests, just in case anyone had any extra guests tagging a long. I didn’t know who was going to show up with Saeyoung and Lexi-Ann, whether it would just be the two of them, or if they’d bring Saeran, Saeyoung’s twin brother and/or Vanderwood, his ex-secret agent partner along.

Zen and I were the first to arrive. Zen immediately started skimming through the songbook and writing out his song list. I made a mental note to remind him not to hog the mic.

“Omg, yes,” he said, filled with glee. “I’m totally going to rock this one.”

“Which one?” I said, trying to peer over his shoulder. Quickly he slammed his hand down to cover the sheet. 

“No way,” Zen said. “That one’s a surprise.”

“What if I don’t like surprises?” I said.

“You’ll like this one,” he said with a playful bad boy look in his eyes. He reached out and pulled me close, and all the sudden we were kissing. Zen had me backed me up against the wall and I felt his hand working its way up my bare leg underneath the hem of my skirt when...

“Whoa, hey there,” a voice said. “Get a room already!”

I spun around to see Saeyoung and a girl I assumed was Lexi Ann standing in the doorway.

“Well, it _is_ kind of a room,” Lexi Ann said. 

“A private room for singing is not the same as a private room for coupling,” Saeyoung said matter-of-factly.

Zen wiped the lipstick I’d left on his lips with the back of one hand, while extending the other to Saeyoung. “Hey, buddy,” he said. “Good to see you.”

“Good to be seen,” Saeyoung said. He shook Zen’s hand and then stepped aside to introduce Lexi Ann. She was cute, a dark-haired girl of medium height and a slim build. She wore glasses like Saeyoung, but her frames were more studious looking, like a librarian. 

“This is Lexi-Ann,” Saeyoung said, smiling. His was grinning a bit like an idiot, and I could see right away what Zen meant when he said Saeyoung was “weird” about love.

“Hi,” I said, reaching out to clasp Lexi Ann’s hand. She shook it heartily in return.

“Oh, it’s so nice to finally meet you in person!” Lexi Ann said. “I heard you throw a killer party!”

“I hear you throw a terrific one, too,” I said. Lexi Ann had organized the RFA’s most recent party, but then wasn’t able to make it at the last minute. That was when a lot of things had been going on with Mint Eye and Saeyoung’s brother, Saeran, who was basically being held hostage until Saeyoung and Lexi Ann rescued him a few weeks ago.

“Yeah,” Lexi Ann said, looking apologetically to me and then to Zen. “Thanks for all the work you did, greeting all the guests in my absence.”

“Not a thing,” Zen said, shaking her hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

“You’re even more gorgeous in person,” Lexi Ann said. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that.” She touched me on the arm, but Zen answered.

“No worries,” he said. “I get that all the time.”

Lexi Ann and I made eye contact and laughed. I could tell she was thinking the same thing. _Oh Zen._ I could tell immediately that we were going to be friends.

Jumin and Jaehee arrived soon after and we all ordered a round of drinks. Jumin ordered a very expensive bottle of red wine, which Zen refused to drink and so he ordered beer instead.

“Where’s Yoosung?” I said, after we toasted to the evening and everyone’s health. “You invited him, right?” I said, looking at Zen.

Zen nodded. “He should be here,” he said.

“He’s likely gaming,” Jaehee said.

“Well, I can fix that,” Saeyoung said. He pulled out his phone and typed in a few codes. “All sorted,” he said with a smile.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Oh, I just set up a proxy server on his machine,” he said. “I figured I’d need to do this someday. I can log in from anywhere in the world, anytime, and kill his connection. He’ll be along any moment now.”

We all looked at him with surprise and then kind of laughed. How could we not? I couldn’t help but picture young Yoosung, intent and deep in gameplay, and then all of the sudden game over.

“He’ll be so mad at you when he gets here,” Zen said, looking at Saeyoung and laughing.

“Wait,” I said, turning to Saeyoung . “How will he know it’s you?”

Saeyoung laughed. “Oh, he’ll know it’s me,” he said. “I programmed the kill sequence to flash my picture on the screen. In fact, I’m pretty sure he can’t escape out of it… Not even if he reboots his machine. It’s programmed shut down his machine for at least eight hours… You see, originally I thought I’d maybe need to do it in order to force him to stop gaming and go to sleep...”

“Yeah,” Lexi-Ann chimed in. “Sleep is important for your health.”

“You are a genius, Luciel… uh, I mean, Saeyoung,” Jumin said. Recently Saeyong had asked everyone to start calling him Saeyoung, not 707, not Luciel. We were all still getting used to it.

Zen swooped in to pick up the mic. “So should we get some tunes on?” He said with a wicked grin. 

Lexi-Ann and I gave each other sideways glances and smiled.

Zen started us off with “Heroes” by David Bowie, and I had to admit hearing him sing that low and husky made me weak in the knees. Then, Saeyoung sang “Whip It” by Devo. I thought we’d have to coax Jaehee onto the stage, but she turned into a different person when she was handed that mic. The song she chose was “Like A Virgin” by Madonna, which surprised everyone, and she sang it like a sexy kitten, complete with all the moves. In fact, I think I liked her stage-self better, and glancing at Jumin’s breathless look and raised eyebrows, I think he liked this version of his assistant, too.

“Who’s next?” Zen said, sliding in and picking up the mic before anyone could answer. “I guess I’ll go,” he said. “I’ve got a special one.”

He bent over the karaoke machine and punched in a few numbers, then looked up to wink at me and hop up on the stage.

“Ok,” he said. “This one’s for my lady.” The look on his face, the way he was looking at me, I couldn’t even describe it. It made me blush. Heck, it made everyone in the room blush.

When the song started, I recognized the hooky staccato guitar opening to Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You” and gripped the edges of my seat.

“Spent the last 24 hours, I need more hours with you,” he sang. 

_Ohhhh._ My heart felt like it was going to take off and fly out of my chest. He didn’t just sing it, he performed it, complete with what looked like pre-choreographed moves and everything. Unlike other performances I’d seen, he was only looking at me. The room was full of people, but we were the only two people in the world. Tears sprung to my eyes. He sang on:

_Maybe it's 6:45_  
Maybe I'm barely alive  
Maybe you've taken my shit for the last time, yeah  
Maybe I know that I'm drunk  
Maybe I know you're the one  
Maybe I'm thinking it's better if you drive… 

When it was over the room erupted in applause. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Jaehee wipe tears from her eyes, too.

“Oh baby!” I said, rushing forward and crushing him in a bear hug. When I looked up into his face he covered me with kisses.

“God, that was amazing,” I said when I caught my breath. “Did you practice that?”

Zen blushed. “Well, maybe a little,” he said.

“Well, it was really good,” I said, feeling like words were just too inadequate for what I really thought, but we weren’t alone and I had my clothes on.

I was feeling like the highest, luckiest girl on earth when Yoosung burst into the room.

“What’d I miss?” He said with a wide blue-eyed grin.


	8. Echo Girl's Revenge II

It had been worth it. All the sneaking around, all the stolen moments it took Zen to find time to practice and hone his rendition of Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You” for MC. In the couple of hours after she left for work before he went to rehearsals, he spent his time working out the choreography for the song and perfecting his dance moves. Zen had also had to spend a fair amount of time working hard to hit some of the high notes that Maroon 5’s singer Adam Levine was able to - he had quite a range, Zen had to admit. It had been challenging, actually, but Zen liked to be challenged. He’d always gotten a certain satisfaction from the work it took to be an actor. Most people thought it was all about standing on stage and looking pretty. How wrong they were.  


It was also great motivation to think about MC and the look on her face she would have while she was watching him. He knew right away that she’d know he’d done this all for her. Unlike other people, MC saw and valued the work he did as an actor. She knew he was more than a pretty face. In fact, he guessed that she didn’t care all that much really about his pretty face. In fact, she’d already seen the ugly part of him, the part of him he’d always been so desperate to hide, but was now kind of OK with. She saw him for who he is, and loved him anyway, possibly more because of his flaws. She was the one who showed him the value of being broken, how that state of being can make you even more beautiful, unique, one of a kind. Like the Japanese idea of Wabi-Sabi, the idea that true beauty is imperfect, impermanent and in process, he accepted that he had to go through everything he went through just to be here now, and without some of the painful parts, he might be incomplete, and not with MC now.  


As much as he imagined it, the look on MC’s face when he actually performed the song was unexpected and better, much more satisfying than all his daydream fantasies. Zen knew how much MC loved this song, but he didn’t know if/how much she realized that he knew she loved it, too. He couldn’t help but smile when the lead guitarist ripped in with the opening riff, and MC put her small hands up to her mouth in joyful surprise and recognition. It was the visual representation of _“Ohhh… I love this song”_ and it warmed Zen’s heart to no end, urging him to go on and give the performance of his life.  


Throughout the whole performance, MC remained fully attentive, her beautiful mouth half open, eyes wide. Her expression was a mixture of love, awe and appreciation. Zen had spent a lot of time on stage in front of audiences. He’d seen a lot of admiring faces, a lot of adoration, a lot of lust. He loved and appreciated it all. Unlike a lot of stars, he tried to empathize with his fans, not take advantage of them, but see them for who they were, and most of all, to remember that they had helped him gain whatever fame he’d achieved so far. Yes, he knew fandom, but this was different. Unlike his fans, MC knew him for real. She harbored no poster-boy-teenage-crush-marketing-campaign image of him, she knew the real deal and she loved him. Watching her lose her mind at him in that moment, kind of like a fan would do, Zen knew that she was, and would forever be, his favorite fan of all time.  


When the song was over, MC lurched forward and launched herself into his arms. “Did you practice that?” she said.  


“Yeah, maybe a little,” he said, blushing. He didn’t mind that she noticed. He wanted her to notice. He wanted her to know that she meant that much to him, that he cared.  


Zen was just about to lean down to kiss her when Yoosung burst into the room. _Man, that kid had timing,_ he thought, and not really the good kind.  


“What’d I miss?” Yoosung said, innocently.  


Jaehee rolled her eyes. “Oh, not much,” she said. “Just the performance of Zen’s entire career.”  


Zen blushed again to hear Jaehee say that. Although she was a super fan for sure, she didn’t dole out compliments easily, and she had a fairly high comprehension of his oeuvre. Her opinion was definitely a good measure of his performance. MC squeezed his hand. She was obviously thinking the same thing.  


“Oh darn,” Yoosung said. “Sorry I missed it. I was… uh…”  


“Playing LOLOL like your life depended on it?” Saeyoung offered.  


Yoosung shot Saeyoung a look that made Zen drop his mouth in surprise. _Was that a dirty look?_ He thought. From Yoosung? He didn’t think Yoosung was capable of such a face.  


“Like you didn’t know anything about it,” Yoosung retorted. A dirty look followed up by an irritated retort. _The moon must be in retrograde,_ Zen thought.  


Yoosung’s expression changed when he saw Lexi-Ann. Zen sighed. It was kind of pathetic how susceptible Yoosung was to a pretty girl. Although Lexi-Ann was a pretty girl, Zen acknowledged that a bonafide pretty girl wasn’t even needed to draw Yoosung’s attention. Yoosung, in his ever-quest of a girlfriend, was kind of predictable that way.  


“Well, hello…” Yoosung said, extending a hand. “You must be Lexi-Ann.”  


“And you’re Yoosung,” Lexi-Ann said.  


Pleasantries were interrupted by a noise at the door. “Yooo-hooo?!” A voice called.  


Zen turned toward the voice and a chill went down his spine as he both recognized and viscerally reacted to the sound.  


The first thing he saw was a swish of blond hair, followed by a theatrical smirk, thus punctuated by an outlined bow of red lipstick.  


“Hey, Lovey-hubby,” she cooed. “Fancy seeing you here.” The way she said it intonated that this chance “interruption” wasn’t a mistake.  


Zen watched open-mouthed as Echo Girl entered the room with her entourage in tow, including her star-struck whatever-you-say manager Kim Dong woo, her assistant, Eun-yi and her current fanboy boyfriend, Yu Myung-hwan.  


_What the…?_ He thought.  


“Oh, hello, Echo Girl,” Jumin said, stepping forward, Zen thought a little too graciously. “Glad you could make it.”  


Zen couldn’t help himself. “Could make it?” he repeated.  


Echo Girl gave him a flash of her violet eyes. “Why, yes,” she cooed. “Jumin was so kind as to invite us.”  


Zen felt anger flare up in his body and he shot a very deliberate look at Jumin. The look said _how dare you,_ but his voice said, “Oh is that so?”  


Zen felt MC’s grasp go limp in his hand and his heart followed in kind. He was feeling most acutely disappointed about how Echo Girl’s appearance had eclipsed his near flawless expression of Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You” and his pure adoration and devotion to MC. But, moreover, he was also battling ill feelings about other vague things related of deeper consequence, things he couldn’t really put his finger on yet.  


“Yes,” Jumin said, gesturing to an empty set of seats on the opposite side of the room. “Please join us, Echo Girl,” he said, and then he directed his attention to Zen. “With Season 2 of _More Than Friends_ starting production in two weeks, we thought it appropriate to start the marketing campaign…”  


“What the hell are you talking about?” Zen said, finding it hard both not to be rude and to disguise his irritation. The look of utter shock and astonishment on Jaehee’s face showed that she was also unaware of Jumin’s plans to promote the second season of _More Than Friends_. Zen couldn’t bring himself to look at MC’s face during this moment, although he could already full well picture it in his mind.  


“Well who did you think was going to fund such a venture?” Jumin said acidly.  


Zen felt his whole spirit deflate in an almost cosmic way. At once he was a rising star with the potential of exponential proportions, the next moment he as merely a nebula. He was under the impression that the reason _More Than Friends_ had been renewed was purely due the merit and success of the show.  


“What are you saying, just exactly?” Zen said, as all the familiar pieces started to fall into place, the distrust, the misperception. He felt MC’s small hand squeeze his forearm in sympathy or support, he couldn’t tell which, it all just resonated as warmth, he thought, but couldn’t be sure.  


Almost as if on cue, a small crew of camera people and reporters shuffled into the room behind Echo Girl and her entourage. Zen did a double take. “What the fuck, Jumin?” He said, his red eyes flashing and his silver hair flaring.  


Jumin shrugged his shoulders in an all-too-smug sort of way like I don’t know what you’re talking about.  


Zen looked to Jaehee instinctively, eyes pleading. _Please help me_

“Mr. Han,” she started. “I didn’t… I don’t…” 

Echo Girl interrupted with her vibrant, commanding voice, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Darling, my love,” she said, batting her thick, long eyelashes at Zen. “Let’s us sing a song,” she said in a sweet, theatrical voice, almost otherworldly. She followed it up with a longing look and an outstretched hand toward the stage. Truly, it was a moment to be captured and the cameras started to flash intuitively. 

Zen’s face furrowed in disgust and he started to open his mouth when he felt an insistent tug on his arm. 

“Honey?” MC whispered. “Are you OK?”

Zen was so overcome he couldn’t answer so he just swallowed and nodded. He let himself look down and lock eyes with hers, his flame red ones on her earnest brown ones.

“OK, baby,” she said. “Just listen to me, OK?”

He nodded, again. Ok, he said without speaking. I trust you. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she said deliberately. “None of this matters. It’s just part of the show, remember?”  


Zen looked at her in disbelief. Out of everyone here, he didn’t expect her to be the one that would go along. His red eyes searched her lovely brown ones. _Are you sure?_ His eyes said. Hers flashed back. _Yes, it’s OK_.  


He felt every part of his being saying so clearly no and physically his stomach turn over in protest. “Ok, princess,” he felt himself say in a slow whisper. Then in a loud clear, unknown voice he heard himself address the crowd.  


“OK, LoveyHunny,” he said, using his pet TV name for her. “What do you want to sing?”  


“Oh, I don’t know, LoveyHubby,” she cooed, overjoyed, overcome. “How about ‘ReWrite The Stars’?"  


The cameras responded, clicking in earnest.  


Zen couldn’t help but notice the specific way Echo Girl looked at MC just then, but it rang true with everything he characterized in his repertoire as “evil”. He realized in that moment for every bit he loved MC as a fan, as a lover, as a person, he hated Kyungju. He hated, absolutely hated her. He glanced at Jumin, at the reporters, and finally, at MC, and he realized that, as much as he hated Kyungju, he also needed her, too. He needed Echo Girl a lot.  


Echo Girl shot an earnest look a Zen, seemingly to clue on exactly his thoughts, followed by a subtle smug look at MC. Zen didn’t exactly know the implicit language of girl-talk, but he knew enough to translate the essential meaning. “You’re fucked” it said.  


Beyond his own willpower, Zen felt his body being led up to the stage in the wake of a barrage of camera flashes. He heard the commentary of the accompanying reporters. “South Korea’s ideal couple is going to sing the theme song from the upcoming season of More Than Friends... “  


He knew the words of the song by heart. It was a tried-and-true tune for callbacks around the country, not alone around the world. 

_“You know I want you, it’s not a secret I try to hide,”_ he breathed, starting the song and trying not to look at MC. _“I know you want me, so don’t keep saying ‘my hands are tied’...”_

Echo Girl reached forward as if to grab Zen around the shoulders, but he instinctively moved forward to grab and succumb her wrists as the drama of this script demanded. He sang on.

_“But you’re here in my heart… so who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny?”_

Zen felt something sick, ugly, and yet familiar. He was doing the thing that was expected of him, the thing that other people wanted, the thing that felt sadly against his nature, the thing that, in fact, had nothing to do with who he really was at all.

He looked over at MC. She was sitting in the corner looking very small, her dainty hands folded on her lap, her legs crossed. She looked absolutely beautiful, wearing a simple, but well cut little black dress. In that moment, though, she was unreadable. There was none of the excitement, none of the glee she expressed during Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You”, or any of the other performances he had done earlier that evening. During the duet he was performing with Echo Girl, she looked blank and perhaps a bit sad behind the eyes.

Was this really “OK” as she had said? Zen wondered and thought likely, no, no it wasn’t.


	9. Jealous Much?

Watching Zen and Echo Girl sing together had been harder than I thought it would be. When Kyungi had shown up at the club and asked Zen to sing, I thought I could handle it. I really did. Heck, I even encouraged it. 

So yes, I encouraged him, and Zen and Echo Girl went on stage and sang. Of course my heart nearly sank the moment they took the stage. They looked perfect up there, two supernatural beauties, the ideal couple. There was Echo Girl with her dainty arm looped through Zen’s. It looked so casual there, so natural, like maybe she did it all the time. Then there was Zen, singing his part while staring longingly into her wide blue eyes. Had the actor Zen been in my bed just this morning? Or had it all been merely a dream? Because, yup, up there on that stage, standing side-by-side, was the perfect couple - two people that looked like they belonged together, a pair destined by fate.

So where did that leave me?

I scolded myself. What right did I have to be jealous? If you date a semi-famous actor on the up and coming what else could you expect? The obsessed fans, the gorgeous co-stars - this was just a day in the life of Zen, and if I couldn’t take the heat, maybe I should get out of the kitchen. I crossed my arms over my chest, indignant. Zen and Echo Girl sang on and on. 

_“Say you were made to be mine… Nothing could keep us apart...”_

Now they were holding each other’s hands and staring into each other’s faces. I scowled and continued to slowly lose grip on my reality.

As much as I was hating this, the cameras were loving every minute of it. The click of shutters and staccato of flashes were so forthcoming they had almost become part of the song. The crowd was getting bigger, too. Word that the two actors were here and performing had gotten around, and so fans were gathering outside the door to the karaoke room and pressing their faces up against the glass windows.

I was being ridiculous and I knew it, but I also couldn’t help it. I tried everything I could to console myself, talk myself down from the total mind fuck I was creating in my head. I replayed my favorite Zen memories, proof of how much he loved me. I kept reminding myself this whole performance wasn’t real, they were actors, after all. Most of all, Kyungu could never be Zen’s girlfriend - remember how much she annoyed him?

The self-talk worked for a while, but as the night wore on, my jealousy won out. When Zen and Echo Girl finished their first number, “Rewrite the Stars,” the crowd immediately started shouting for an encore. By the look on Echo Girl’s elfin face, she was most happy to comply.

“Come on, LoveyHubby….” Echo Girl cooed, reaching down to squeeze Zen’s hand. The crowd responded with whoops and hollers. _No wonder half the world thought they were dating,_ I thought.  


The crowd started to clap and chant, “Zen, Zen, Zen…” and finally I saw him half nod at Echo Girl in agreement. What sounded like several teenagers and young girls shrieked in ecstasy. I squinted, trying to read the expression on Zen’s face. Did he look happy about singing another number? Did he _want_ to do sing another song? I couldn’t tell. 

There were some moments of discussion and then Echo Girls’ manager went to go punch in the numbers to cue up the next song. I decided now might be the time to grab some wine. I excused myself from my seat next to Yoosung and pushed my way over to Jumin on the other side of the room.

“Jumin,” I said, forgoing the pleasantries. “Can I get a glass of that wine?”

“Enjoying the show that much, are we?” Jumin said, pouring me a pretty stout glass.

“Yes, they’re quite the duo” I said, forcing a smile. 

“Yes,” Jumin replied. “I suppose that’s why the whole country is rooting for their love.”

_Rooting for their love? Really, Jumin?_ I needed to distance myself as quickly as possible from that statement, from what was happening in this room, and more importantly, from what I was feeling right now. I raised the glass to my lips and took a sip. The wine was full-bodied and inky, and burned my throat a little of the way down. It tasted expensive.

“Châteauneuf-du-Pape,” Jumin said, by way of explanation.

“Oh,” I said, politely. “It’s nice.” To be honest I didn’t care much about the wine, what it was or how much it cost. The bigger thing I wanted was to be drunk, to numb the feelings that were building in response to “romance” that was playing itself out on stage. 

Carefully I made my way back to my seat over in the back corner of the room next to Yoosung. Up to this point, I thought I had been doing a pretty decent job of holding it together. Then Echo Girl made a bold move. I watched as she slid her arm around Zen’s shoulder and started gently running her fingers up and down his back. My jaw dropped and I may have audibly winced. Now was that really necessary?

I guess my reaction was pretty obvious because Yoosung leaned in.

“You know it’s all an act, right?” Yoosung said. 

I nodded and took another sip of the wine.

“Zen, he’s just a really good actor,” Yoosung went on as Zen reached over to brush a lock of golden highlighted hair out of Echo Girl’s face as he sang. “He can be really convincing, that’s all.”  


“Mmmm...hmmm,” I agreed, taking another sip of the wine. Super convincing indeed. I looked a little closer. Wait, wasn’t that the look Zen gave me this morning while we were getting dressed? I balled my free hand, the one that was not gripping the wine glass, into a fist.

Quickly I downed the last of my wine and stood up to get another one. Immediately I sat back down again. _Whoa._ I didn’t feel right, and my legs felt like jelly. I couldn’t stand.  


“MC, are you OK?” Yoosung said, putting an arm around my shoulder. When Zen saw this, he broke character to look directly at us, his red eyes narrow and smoldering. As soon as Yoosung caught Zen's look, he immediately removed his arm from my shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “I think I’m just a little bit tipsy.”

“Here, I’ll go get you some water,” Yoosung said. He got up and moved to a small table across the room that held glasses and a pitcher of water.

Zen was still looking my way with a worried expression on his face. Now he was mouthing the _words are you OK?_ I nodded, and tried to accompany my expression with a reassuring smile.

The smile was obviously not reassuring enough, though, because as soon as the song ended Zen made a beeline for me.

“What’s going on, MC?” He said. “Are you all right? Why did Yoosung have his arm around you?”

By this time, Yoosung had come back with the water. “She had one glass of wine and I think she’s drunk,” Yoosung said. “What a lightweight.”

“Don’t tell me you tried to take advantage of her,” Zen said, angrily. “I was standing right over there, you know.”

“Don’t be silly, babe,” I said slowly, slurring my “s” a little. “Yoosung didn’t do anything. If anything, he was taking care of me.”

Zen pushed himself between us and sat down. “Aw, honey,” he said, putting his arm around me. “You’re drunk?”

“Just tipsy,” I said, putting my head on his shoulder. “I think I need to go home.”

“Yeah, ok, sure,” Zen said, brushing the hair out of my face and looking concerned. “We can leave.” He glanced at Echo Girl who was talking to a group of reporters. “I’m good with that, actually.”

Zen helped me put on my jacket and find my purse. When he hoisted me to my feet, I stumbled and fell against his chest. “Whoa, Princess,” he said. “Can you walk?”

“I don’t get it,” I said. “I only had one drink…”

“I know, I know,” he said, steering me toward Jumin’s table. “Come on, let’s go say our goodbyes."

Zen held me tight about the waist and guided me across the room to say goodbye to our RFA friends. 

“You alright there, MC?” Jumin said with a sideways smirk. “Hit the sauce a little too hard, maybe?”

“I only had one glass,” I said, defensively. I was already feeling a little embarrassed about the fact that I couldn’t walk out by myself. _I should never drink,_ I reminded myself.

“You take care of yourself, MC,” Lexi-Ann said, squeezing my shoulder in a sympathetic manner that just exasperated my shame.

“Ya, we’ve all been there,” Saeyoung added. “Well, not me, actually…but you know what I mean.”

Zen shot Saeyoung a look. “Do you have to be such an a-hole, even like now?”

Saeyoung shrugged. Zen shook his head and started moving us toward the doorway.

“Make sure you give her plenty of water and something to eat before she goes to sleep,” Jaehee called to Zen as we were walking away.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Come on, MC, let’s go.”

We had almost made it to the doorway when we were ambushed by a swarm of reporters.

“Zen! Zen!” A reporter shouted. “Who is that with you? Is that your girlfriend?”

Instantly we were bombarded by a cascade of clicking and flashes, which instantly made me feel nauseous. 

“Zen,” I whispered, clutching my stomach. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh man,” he said, pulling me closer and walking faster. 

“Please…” Zen said, pushing us through the crowd. He tried to shield us from the cameras with his free hand as best he could. “Let us through.”

“Hey, Zen!” Another voice shouted. ”What does Echo Girl think about your girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, does she also have natural D cup-sized breasts?” Someone else added.

“Don’t listen to them,” Zen whispered to me as he ushered me out of the building.

Outside, Zen turned to me with concern. “Are you OK, MC?” He said. “Can you get into a car?”

I took a deep breath. The crisp, fresh air of the cool night had actually calmed my stomach, and I was feeling much better.

“Yeah, babe,” I said, squeezing his arm. “I think I’m OK now.”

As Zen lifted an arm to hail a cab, I felt the hot tears of shame begin to come.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” I said, sniffling into his arm. “I don’t know…”

“Shhh,” Zen said, stroking my hair and lifting my head so that I could see his eyes. They were shining bright and filled with love. “Don’t be silly… You have nothing to be sorry about.” He smiled and kissed me, once on each cheek. “It’s just a little beer, that’s all.”

“It was actually wine,” I croaked.

“OK,” he said, chuckling a bit. “Just a little wine, then. Not the end of the world.”

Not the end of the world, he said. But it did, it did feel like that, the end of the world. 

We were quiet the whole way home in the car. Zen just held my hand and I looked out the window. I think he was worried because, everyone once in a while, he made some effort at light-hearted conversation. I don’t know, maybe I was tired, maybe I was drunk, but for the first time in our relationship I just didn’t feel like talking to him, or anyone really. I was totally and utterly humiliated.

I couldn’t sleep most of the night. I kept tossing and turning, replaying events from beginning to end. I was so ashamed of myself and my behavior. First getting so insanely jealous, and then _drinking?_ What was that supposed to solve? I mean, really, if I was going to be dating Zen, this was part of the deal, right? What was I going to do instead? Implode over every fan I encountered in a locker room? Get jealous over every co-star in every show he’s cast with? I needed a thicker skin, and fast, and I knew it, but I also didn’t know if I could handle it. Maybe I was too weak.

My heart ached as I looked at Zen’s incredible sleeping form, watching his bare chest rise and fall in the moonlight. I stroked his cheek, then his hair. Yeah, maybe I was too weak… Or maybe I just didn’t deserve this.


	10. The Reckoning

Since I didn’t sleep well during the night, I ended up sleeping late into the morning, and Zen was sweet enough, patient enough to let me. I was semi-consciously aware of him getting up and going for run, and then coming back and making breakfast. I was pretty sure he was even making breakfast for me, but I was so tired, so unwilling to deal with events of the night before, that I continued to let myself fall in and out of sleep.  


Finally, sometime after 11am in the morning, I felt Zen’s fingers in my hair, brushing my face.  


“Princess?” he said, gently. “It’s nearly noon.”  


I rolled over, stretched and opened my eyes.  


“Is it?” I said, like I didn’t know. “Oh god.”  


“Yeah,” he said with concern. “How are you feeling?”  


“I’m feeling OK,” I said, sitting up and swinging my legs over to the opposite side of the bed.  


“Oh good,” he said, sounding relieved. I felt his warm hand touch the back of my shoulder and I quickly stood up out of his reach.  


“I think I’m going to get cleaned up,” I said, making my way to the bathroom before he could respond.  


“Uh, ok,” I heard him say as I shut the bathroom door. His voice sounded deflated, which sliced my heart in two, but not so much for me to turn around and do anything about it.  


Once inside the bathroom, I started the bath water. _What the heck is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this?_ I asked myself. For all intent and purposes, my irrational mind was picking up right where it left off the night before by continuing to act according to its own impulses. Here I was, enacting my own worst case scenario, scene by scene as if on autopilot. I felt powerless to stop it.  


I let the water fill the tub nearly to the brim and then lowered myself in. The water was a little too warm, but in in a minute my body would adjust to the heat. I leaned my head back on lip of the ceramic rim of the tub and sighed. What was I doing? I thought, feeling hot tears brim to my eyes again, for what seemed like at least the umpteenth time in the past 20 or so hours.  


I lay in the tub quite a long while, searching my brain for reasons that made sense. _Could this really just be about Echo Girl?_ No, there had to be more to to it than that. I lay there soaking in the tub, long enough for the water to grow cool and for my fingers to start to wrinkle like prunes. Not long enough for me to sort out my fucked up head.  


Finally, there was a soft knock on the door.  


“MC?” Zen said. “Are you still in there? Are you OK?”  


“Yeah,” I said. “I’m fine.”  


The sound of pure concern in his voice would have extracted empathy from the most heartless of villains, and since I loved him, you can imagine how much it cut me to the core. My voice was small and weak.  


“I’ll be out in a minute,” I said. “OK?”  


“Yeah, sure,” Zen said, and I heard him shuffle away from the door.  


No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t wipe the image of Zen looking at Echo Girl the way he looks at me. I furrowed my brow. If he could look that way at her, if he could look that way at me, he could look that way at anyone, right? I touched the space just below my chest. There was a familiar heaviness there, a tightness that left me gasping for breath. Before I knew it, I was shaking and getting all choked up again. _He could leave me,_ I thought. _He could really just leave anytime._ It seemed so real… and so possible. _Why?_  


I took a few more minutes to soap up my body, wash my face and steel my nerves before hoisting myself out of the water. I took quite a few more to towel myself off and put on the clothes I’d brought with me into the bathroom, a pair of jeans and my weekend Clash tee-shirt. Finally, after more than a few minutes, I emerged from the bathroom to see Zen sitting on the edge of the bed.  


“What’s going on, MC?” He said, his head lowered, hands folded between his knees. “You’re not yourself.”  


“What do you mean?” I said, my voice a little irrationally high. “Of course I’m…”  


“Cut the crap, MC,” Zen said. He lifted his head to look at me in the eyes. He was wearing one of those faces I didn’t recognize, one filled with anger, hurt and confusion. “Don’t you think I recognize acting when I see it? God damn it, I’m an actor.”  


His response was so far from what I expected that I jumped backward. “I, umm…” I started, but he didn’t wait.  


“Last night,” he started. “You were all silent in the car. I thought, fine, she’s a little wasted. I’ll just get her home safe, that’s all that matters...”  


I looked down at the floor, wrapping my arms around my waist trying to get small. A new feeling of shame began to burn and grow in body, showing up like a hot blush on my face. I still couldn’t explain what was going on with me. I didn’t have words for it yet.  


“I mean, what the fuck, MC?” Zen said, his teeth clenched. I could tell he was biting back tears and suddenly it was all too clear what the difference between ”acting and “not acting” was when it came to his actions. Yet I still didn’t know what to say. All the things that came to mind - _I’m scared, I do know if I can handle this, You’re just going to leave me anyway_ \- all sounded wrong and like show-stopper-relationship-enders, so I stayed silent.  


The normal sounds of the room, the hum of the radiator, the air purifier and the low hush of music playing from the kitchen intensified as the silence between us grew. All I could do was continue to stare at the floor and clutch at my elbows helplessly. Finally, Zen spoke.  


“Come on,” he said, standing up suddenly and moving toward the bedroom door. “We’re going out.”  


I heard him rummaging around the rest of the house, shutting off the radio, grabbing his jacket, his keys, opening the closet door to take out the two motorcycle helmets…  


A minute or two later, his sliver head appeared back in the bedroom doorway, his eyes more red than I’d ever seen.  


“Are you coming?” he asked. It wasn’t a question.  


“Umm…” I stammered. Some combination of how he looked, how he sounded and the guilt surrounding the pain I was inflicting on him propelled me into motion. “Yes, just a second…”  


I quickly pulled my boots out from under the bed, grabbed a sweatshirt from the chair and followed him out of the room.  


“Here,” he said, tossing me my jacket. “You’re not going to be warm enough.”  


“Where are we going?” I demanded. Zen smiled then, but altogether not a friendly smile. He was angry. He had right to be.  


“You’ll find out soon enough, Princess,” he said.  


I followed him into the hall and up the stairs to the driveway, where his motorcycle was parked. He tossed me a helmet, threw a leg over the vehicle and motioned to the seat behind him.  


“Get on,” he breathed. The fire in his eyes as he said this made my heart flutter and beat harder, and I complied.  


“Where are we going?” I said again.  


“You’ll see,” he said.  


Zen revved the motor in response and with a surge of movement, we were on the road. I gripped my arms around him tight and buried my face in his back, feeling the cold wind rip through me on both sides.  


I tried again to separate the pieces in my mind, to line them up and organize them in a way that made sense. It was very much like completing a puzzle. When completing a puzzle, it’s helpful, usually, to have a picture of the puzzle you’re completing. The next step is to piece together the border, the frame. Finally, you organize all the remaining colors into batches and fill in the bits that make the most sense. That allows the harder bits to finally reveal themselves, and you can complete the puzzle. In this case, I felt like l was working backwards. I pretty much had all the feelings and emotions (all the harder bits), but none of the context (the picture or the frame to help it make sense). It other words, what I had was a mess of colors I didn’t know what to do with. Of course this was a fancy way to say I knew I loved Zen without question, surely, but I was also angry, and I also had doubts. Doubts about him surely, but also doubts about myself. There were also fears. Fears about what could and couldn’t happen, and something about wondering if I could measure up. Finally, mostly I had fears about loss, and the safety of getting things over with before they’d even begun.  


I took in a breath and blinked back tears as a memory stepped forward in response to _The safety of getting things over with before they’d even begun._

\---

VNM  


_Truth: My last boyfriend, technically the one before Zen, broke my heart. I was still at University, the same one Yoosung goes to actually, a third year student studying literature. When I met Kwang-jo, I’d just been granted a scholarship for a full-year study abroad program in the United States. The program promised something new, possibly an adventure, and it was nearly a year away.  
_

_When I first heard I got into the program, my roommate and best friend at the time, Kira, said she was happy for me, but her actions said otherwise. She started to pout at me and pick fights over smallest of things, i.e. crumbs in the toaster - when she wasn’t even tidy. Sometimes, she’d even give me the full-on cold shoulder treatment._  
Eventually we had to talk about it.  


_“I’m not leaving you, you know,” I said, over drinks at our favorite bar. It was American-style, and called The LoveLord. They had Budweiser on tap _and_ in the can.  
_

_“I know,” she said, her grey eyes looking sad, more sad and more full of shadow than I’d ever seen them. “But you’re my best friend.”  
_

_“You can come visit!” I said, reaching a hand across the table to cover hers. “Plus, I’ll be back.”  
_

_“In a year,” she said.  
_

_“Just a year,” I corrected.  
_

_Nothing I said seemed to make any difference. Kira had decided I was leaving her, and leaving her on purpose, and that was that.  
_

_Kwang-jo came into the picture soon after that. I remember the first night we slept together. It was my birthday, I think. I was so surprised. I really didn’t see it coming and honestly can’t recall how it happened. He was wearing this dorky shirt, button-down with a small animal pattern that didn’t suit him. To be honest, I didn’t even find him all that attractive. Still, for whatever reason, I let him take me home.  
_

_And that was that. I totally didn’t see it coming, as I guess you don’t, but I totally ended up falling for this tall, lanky, weirdo kind of guy, and falling for him hard.  
_

_It wasn’t one thing, it was a lot of things - the way he touched me like conversation, how he seemed to anticipate what I wanted, his mannerisms and the way he was so ‘cool’ about everything. He may have not been classically handsome or even cute, but god, how the sight of that moppy sandy-colored head grew to make my heart flutter like a swarm of butterflies. Like I said, it wasn’t just one thing, it was the full meaning and breadth of Kwang-jo that seemed to capture my soul.  
_

_After that first night I was pretty sure I was all-in with Kwang-jo, but I didn’t have a clue how he really felt about me. Six weeks into our relationship, if you could even call it that, he had me turned upside down. He didn’t return my texts, calls or emails, and often cancelled dates on a whim. The thing was, though, when we did get together, it was good, it was _too_ good - like really I’m not exaggerating when I say it was all worth it.  
_

_“He’s not good for you,” Kira said, over and over again.  
_

_“I know,” I said.  
_

_“Do you even know whether he cares for you?” she said. “He’s like more like an addiction than a boyfriend.”  
_

_“I know,” I said, but I also knew there was no way I was giving him up._

\---

Zen drove on and on, out of his neighborhood, through the city center and finally, out of the city itself. I watched as the primary colors of our surroundings gradually turned from gray and subdued to green and airy, until we winded upwards on a road I couldn’t identify. Finally he turned off on a gravely turn-out, motioned me off and pushed his bike into the trees.  


“Come on,” he said, reaching for my hand. I took it and we started walking into what looked like forest. There wasn’t a path, necessarily, but the grass where we were walking looked trampled and well-traveled, like at least a few dozen people had come this way before, or maybe it was just really well-known by one person, or a few. The trees surrounding us were high and beautiful. I could hear the breeze passing through their leaves, and it felt free.  


“Where are we going?” I asked again.  


“You’ll see soon,” Zen said. “Be patient, Princess.”  


I was so unaccustomed to so much silence between us. It made me feel anxious, scared and a lot of other things. I wanted to say something to acknowledge this, but bit my lip instead, chewing on a corner until I tasted blood.

\--- 

VNM  


_Kwang-jo and I continued to see each other in that haphazard, not-so-good-for-me, on again/off again way for months. Then, somewhere along the way, for whatever reason, we started to hang out more and get closer. I don’t know what precipitated it. Maybe we were getting closer because my study abroad trip was getting closer. Impending absence makes the heart grow fonder? Who knows? At any rate, a couple of months before I was scheduled to leave for California, Kwang-jo told me he loved me for the first time, and I said it back like it was the first time, although I’d known it had been true forever.  
_

_Things got hot and heavy after that. We started doing things like talking about the future. When would he come visit me in California? What would do with our lives when I came back? And then there were the letters…_

\---

Back in the forest, I put a hand on my stomach, that heart heavy feeling had returned and my chest felt tight. I had the urge to turn around and run, but I looked at Zen’s face and realized more than anything I wanted to stay, even if it was going to be hard.  


Zen was walking with an intensity I hadn’t seen before.  


“Are we there yet?” I said, trying to sound light-hearted, maybe even trying to crack a joke, smooth things over. He didn’t laugh.  
“Just about.” Zen said. He didn’t even smile.  


We walked on and on.

\---

VNM  


_Kwang-jo. I mise well remember the ending. I had been in California about three months. My new fresh start, my adventure wasn’t playing out as I expected. I missed Kwang-jo and Kira terribly. I hung around the dorm a lot waiting for their calls. I haunted the mailbox for their letters, or should I say Kwang-jo’s letters because it turned out Kira wasn’t much of a writer. I found out that Kira and Kwang-jo spent a lot of time together in my absence - just “as friends” - they both assured me. They went on bike rides, visited farmer’s markets, and went dancing. I can’t say I wasn’t worried or distressed, but I always trusted them, I had to. They were the two people who loved me most in the whole world - how could they do me wrong?  
_

_Then, I’ll never forget the day I got the call. It was a Tuesday. It was from Kira. She was in tears and the first part of what she said was incomprehensible. The second part I could make out clearly. She kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”. This is the first time I remember getting the heavy, sick, tight feeling in my chest. I didn’t understand everything she was saying, completely, but truth be told I didn’t need to, I got the gist.  
_

_I wanted to die after that, I really did. To this day, I’m sometimes surprised I didn’t._

\---

Back in the forest, I looked up into Zen’s face, set, determined and looking into the distance. God, I thought to myself with a great sigh of relief. _I’m so glad I didn’t, die that is._  


“Here we are…” Zen said, breaking the silence.  


A moment later we crested the trees and reached a clearing that opened up to one of the most spectacular views I had ever seen. I literally gasped in surprise.  


“Ohhhh!!!” I cried. It was about all I could say. The scene had absolutely taken my breath away. One moment we were deep in the forest and suddenly we were on the edge of a cliff overlooking the city of Seoul. This place was at once majestic, both everything marvelous about the natural world, everything spectacular about the city.  


“Oh my god,” I said at last, knowing my words were still not big enough, nor grand enough to do it justice.  


Zen pulled me toward a fallen log and we sat down. The necessity of looking down to find a place to sit made me notice the wildflowers surrounding the small clearing we’d encountered. Blue daisies, purple fawn lilies and yellow rapeseed flower littered the area.  


“Ohhh!” I said again. So many colors, I thought. What a pretty puzzle this would make!  


“Right?!” Zen said, equally marveled. “I love it here.”  


As soon as he said it, I knew.  


“This is your secret place,” I said.  


Zen squeezed my hand and nodded. My brain cycled through a myriad of responses. First joy, because he brought me here - it was a place I’d wondered about since those first days we were getting to know each other in the messenger app, when he’d come here to escape the angst of a leg injury jeopardizing an important acting opportunity. My second thought was more sad, yeah, he’d brought me here, but under what circumstances? Every fantasy and previous thought I’d had about this first visit had been filled with happy moments. Things like secret picnics, moonlight stars and make out sessions. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe he’d bring me here to… my heart sank. _What did he bring me here to do? Were we going to fight? Break up?_ I felt the familiar tight feeling in my chest like a villain and the tears started to well up after that. I did my best to choke them back.  


We sat on the log, facing forward, staring at the view for what seemed like an exceptionally long time. Finally, Zen spoke.  


“So, speak,” he said.  


My mouth fell open and shut. I still didn’t know what to say, even though I was starting to make sense of what I was feeling. It was still only in pictures, like little comic montages within the larger story. My lips were still a line, unhelpful and silent.  


“Ok,” Zen said. “So I’ll start.”  


He reached over to pick up my hand again and started caressing my thumb. That made me feel better. That made me feel hope. Then he started speaking.  


“So, I’m guessing it was maybe not a good idea to sing with Echo Girl, even though you said it was,” he started.  


We were not looking at each other, but still staring at the cityscape in front of us. I sighed, and then opened and shut my mouth again. I was trying to figure out how to say that, at the time I said it, I did mean that it was OK, and how even in that same moment, in that same breath, it was not OK. Somehow Zen got the gist of this, even though I still couldn’t speak words.  


“So I’m guessing that maybe it was kind of both OK and not OK?” he said and then sighed. “I know, I get it, it’s weird.” He paused. “I didn’t feel right about it, either, I admit… but then you said it was OK… and, well, um….”  


I nodded, squeezing and caressing Zen’s thumb in return. I wanted to give him that same feeling he’d given me - reassurance, even though I still didn’t have words, still couldn’t speak properly to represent myself. I think it worked, because Zen let out a long sigh, like he’d been holding it in, and then encircled my frame, pulling me close.  


“God,” he said. “I don’t know where to start. How do I explain something to you I’ve been dealing with my whole life?”  


He breathed another long sigh out and I waited.  


“Don’t you see?” He said at last. “This is exactly why I didn’t want a girlfriend. I fucking knew this would happen, don’t you see it?”  


My heart sunk deeper in my chest. I did know exactly what he meant, and I was afraid of what he was going to say about it next.  


“I knew,” he said. “I knew this would happen. There would be some sort of girl, and then this sort of rumor, and then this....” he fought for words. “Unpleasantness.”  


I continued to bite and suck on my lip with no response.  


“Then there was you,” he said, and a small smile flickered at the corners of his mouth. “God, I just love you… and I’m not sorry I chose you, or that you chose me.”  


He paused to wipe his forehead and brush his silver hair out of his eyes. He didn’t have to say the rest about all the trouble it would be for him and his fans to actually have a girlfriend and break free from all the expectations there were about an actor and his image, etc. etc. I already knew the heartfelt choices he made, not just about me, but about how important it was to present himself honestly to his fans, about what a big deal that was.  


“God damn it, MC,” he said, finally, with fresh tears in his eyes. “You’re worth it, make me believe that this was all true, that this was all worth it. Tell me you’re not throwing it away.”  


There was a lot I wanted to say in response to this, but I didn’t know where to start. I wanted to say I’m sorry and tell him everything, admit to every insecurity and every doubt I ever had, and I would, I think, just not yet. Right now I just needed to make it better, and the only way I knew how to do it justice was without speaking.  


“Please.” Zen said, his eyes nearly broken. “Please, MC.”  


Without a word I grabbed both his hands and looked him in the face. I imagined everything I was feeling, everything I wanted to say to him, every piece of our puzzle scattered on the floor. Then I kissed him.  


The kiss was soft at first, gentle like this gorgeous spring afternoon, sincere. The next kiss was deeper, longer, more intense and searching. Our lips began to move together in a familiar rhythm, and then built with an urgency to fulfill a need. I clawed at him, pressed my body into him, needing to show him with all of my being how much I loved him and how sorry I was for hurting him. He responded by pulling me closer, kissing me harder, breathing me in and being greedy with me.  


“Oh Hyun,” I moaned, arching my back and pressing myself deeper into him. We still had all our clothes on but i could feel his urgency matching my own beneath his jeans. I reached my hands around his lower back and pulled him closer. I very much wanted to press myself inside him. I needed to feel him inside me. I needed him to be inside me. I wanted there to be no lingering question, no doubt about how much our love was worth. To me, I now knew, it was everything, so precious I was even ready to run the risk of losing it.  


I now needed to feel his bare skin and so I slid my hands up inside his sweatshirt. I let my palms move over the smooth rippling muscles of his back, and then around to the front to feel his bare chest. When I let my fingers lightly graze his nipples, he moaned.  


“God,” Zen said coupled with a sharp intake of breath.  


Taking that as encouragement, I let my hands sink lower toward his belt buckle. He stopped me halfway by grabbing both my wrists.  


“MC,” Zen said, his breath was ragged and his eyes half-closed. His voice was cracking just a little bit. “Here?”  


When I bit my lower lip and nodded, his red eyes rolled completely back into his head. “Oh man,” he said. “I don’t know…”  


Zen’s mouth was saying “I don’t know” but his hands were saying other things. He let go of his grip on my wrists and I gasped as I felt his long fingers slide up underneath the inside of my tee-shirt and over my bra. I held my breath as he reached around to undo the clasp.  


“Oh god,” I said when I felt Zen’s hands on my naked breasts. I helped him lift the tee-shirt over my head and toss both garments to the ground. A light breeze grazed my bare chest and my body tingled. Yeah, it felt a little weird and a little wrong to be naked from the waist up outside and in the middle of the day, but yeah, isn’t that what sexy is?  


“You’re beautiful,” Zen said into my ear. Then a trail of kisses was moving down my neck, to my chest, plunging between my breasts. My body was humming, burning from the inside out.  


Zen’s shirt was next. Together we lifted it up and over his head. I spent a few precious moments tracing the lines of his muscles with my fingertips and pressing my lips to his skin.  


I became very conscious of the dominate sounds - our kisses and our breathing. It reminded me of just how alone we were, how far away from everything and everyone Zen’s special place was. It dawned on me, how easy it would be to take things further and how very much I wanted to...  


With this singular goal in mind, I pulled away from Zen’s chest and untangled myself from his arms. Doing a quick survey of the area, I spotted a soft looking grassy spot under a tree. I smiled semi-wickedly at Zen, almost like a dare, and then got up and walked over to the spot.  


“Hyun, come here,” I said, plopping down on my backside and motioning. “Come here now.”  


Zen didn’t hesitate. With wolf eyes, he stood up, strode over and positioned himself on top of me. I reached for him and he started kissing me again in earnest. Using one hand to prop himself up on the ground so he wouldn’t crush me, he used the other to start working the button and zipper on my pants.  


Eventually, he had to stop kissing me for a minute and use both hands, one on either side of my hips, to tug at my pants and underwear. Instinctively, I leaned back and arched my hips up to help him wriggle my pants and panties from my body.  


Now I was completely naked and lying in the grass and very conscious of Zen’s hot red eyes roving over my body.  


“Oh man,” he said, his voice cracking completely. “You’re like a goddess.”  


Then he was on top of me again. His mouth on my mouth, his free hand somewhere down between my legs, working furiously to drive me to my edge. I’d heard once that the human body has approximately 180,000 chakras and I was sure every one of mine was vibrating in unison.  


“God, Hyun.” I cried. “Please.”  


In the middle of this kind of pleasant desperation, my hands reached again for his belt buckle. This time I met no resistance. My fingers scratched and pulled at the strap and metal as best I could but, honestly, I was too far gone to figure it out. Finally Zen had to stop and sit back on his knees.  


“You need some help there, MC?”  


I nodded, helpless, weak and wanting.  


Zen put a hand on his belt buckle.  


“You sure you want to do this here, MC?” He said, smiling devilishly. “Because I’m certainly not going to try and stop you now.”  


“I don’t want to be stopped,” I managed to say. “I don’t want you to stop, Hyun. Please don’t stop.”  


Zen shrugged his shoulder and his grin grew bigger as if to say _well, what can you do?_ My eyes grew bigger and wider as I watched him work the belt buckle and free himself. God, how is every part of him so god damn beautiful? A mistake from the gods, indeed. A mistake I’d be willing to pay for over and over again.  


This time he got the condom on all by himself, and with only one hand. He was a quick study, this boy.

\---

Later in the grass we laid in each other’s arms - we’d both put our clothes back on because it was getting chilly. I grabbed one of Zen’s hands with both of mine and turned to look him in the face. Finally, I think, I had the puzzle figured out, and now I was ready speak.  


“First things first,” I said, squeezing his fingers. “I promise… I do solemnly swear, never, ever again to treat you the way that I did today. Never, ever again will I attempt to shut you out or lie to you with half-truths.” I paused to take a breath and he squeezed my fingers, encouraging me to go on.  


“Honestly, I was scared,” I said. “Umm, truth be told… well, I am _still_ scared… I’m terrified actually of… well, um, losing you... so much so that I think I was trying to self-sabotage everything.”  


Zen put both hands around mine now. His red eyes full of concern. “Babe,” he said.  


“No, wait,” I said, putting a finger up to his beautiful lips. “Just listen, OK?”  


He nodded his beautiful head and I got momentarily distracted by the way the sunlight was playing with his hair. He caught on to this, and touched my knee gently.  


“Princess,” he said. “Please, for the love of god...”  


I nodded and took a breath.  


“Yeah, so,” I breathed. “I got kinda out of control and jealous of Echo Girl last night, didn’t I?” I said, pausing for courage, because I knew this wasn’t just about Echo Girl. Echo Girl was only part of it.  


I sighed and took another deep breath. I realized I hadn’t told anyone about Kwang-jo and Kira, and it was more than a year ago now. Again, I felt the tight feeling in my chest and I touched the space low and between my ribs where I felt it the most. Breathe.  


If Zen and I were going to have a relationship, a real one, a good one, there had to be no secrets between us. I couldn’t hold back, even though telling him everything would be hard, and it might hurt him, too. He had to know all of me.  


“The thing is,” I started, again. “I don’t think Echo Girl is all of it.”  


Zen’s eyebrows raised in interest.  


“Something happened to me before I met you,” I started, and then I dove in. “I loved someone else, and that someone else broke my heart.”  


Zen let out a long sigh and squeezed my fingers. His eyes were so soft and so open.  


“Tell me,” he said.  


And I did.


	11. Cat Fight

Monday came sooner than expected, and I was dreading it. Today was the day we were shooting the cat commercial, with me as the pseudo-stand-in director. I was going to get to spend the whole day with my favorite person in the world - not - and the star of the commercial, Echo Girl.

“Remember,” Zen said, coaching me over breakfast. “She’s going to keep on insisting to do it her way… I mean, she makes up her own lines and everything. Don’t be surprised if you have to get at least five takes of everything.”

He took a sip of his green smoothie and it left a sea foam green moustache on his upper lip. I giggled.

“What is it?” Zen said, looking flustered and shifting in his chair. “MC, stop being so cute right now.”

Purposely, I giggled again.

“MC,” he said, glancing at the clock on the wall. “I mean it. I have early rehearsal and you can’t be late to work, not today.”

“Fine,” I said, making a pouty face.

“That’s also cute,” he warned.

“Sorry,” I said, though I wasn’t. I stood up and reached over the table to wipe the green juice from his upper lip. As I leaned over, Zen’s red eyes went wide.

“Jesus, MC!” he said. “Stop already! You don’t wear that shirt out in the world, do you?”

“Of course not,” I said. “It’s a nightshirt!”

“Well, god, you can see all the way down to your belly button, and everything in between,” he said.

“I know,” I said, smiling.

“Man,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re an evil goddess, aren’t you?” He got up and turned to the sink to rinse out his empty glass, and then turned back to put a hand on my shoulder.

“Well, I’ll forgive you if you promise to wear this ‘nightshirt’ again later,” he said, bending over to kiss me. As he did, he hooked a finger inside the front of my shirt, pulling it down for one more peek. “Until later, my lovelies,” he said to my breasts.

I touched his chin to bring his face back level with mine and kissed him on the lips. 

“Have a good day, my lovely Zen,” I said, giving him my most sincere I-love-you eyes. “Knock ‘em dead.”

“Yeah,” he said. “You, too. Good luck with Echo Girl… Remember, you’re the boss.”

I nodded and turned back to my attention back to my yogurt. I’d only taken maybe two bites so far. To be honest, my stomach was churning, but not from hunger. I was too nervous. I was already anxious about working with Echo Girl today, but the encounter at the karaoke bar the other night had only amplified my worries by like 100 percent.

Zen left the room but then came back wearing his leather jacket and carrying his helmet. He turned my chin to face him and bent over so that our foreheads were touching. “One more thing,” he said very seriously. “I love you, not her. I know it goes without saying, but I’m going to keep reminding you anyway.”

I smiled and pulled his lips to mine. 

“Thank you,” I said. Ever since our fight the other day, Zen had been going out of his way to overtly remind me how much he loved me, and how much Echo Girl wasn’t for him. For some people this might have been considered over-the-top or too much, but me, I was grateful.

“OK,” he said, kissing me one time. “For real this time. I’m going. See you later, gorgeous.”

\--- 

Jaehee sent Driver Kim for me at 8:30am. The shoot was at a mansion across town in Jumin’s neighborhood, and we had to drive about a half hour to get there. As we drove up the winding driveway, I marveled at the meticulous garden. Just the driveway alone was lined with tulips. Jaehee told me that the owners were only here for part of the year. Who took care of this the rest of the time? I’m assuming they paid someone surely, but how much did that cost? What kind of income does someone have to have to be able to afford a garden they hardly ever see?

Turns out the garden was just the beginning. Everything about this place was off the charts. The entry hall alone was covered in marble and led to a grand winding mahogany staircase that wound all the way up the entire three stories of the house. At the top was a domed ceiling with more marble sculpting and intricate wood designs. I was still gaping at the interior when Jaehee came rushing in from another room.

“There you are!” She said, noting the dropped jaw and expression on my face. “Isn’t this place gorgeous?”

“Impressive,” I said, nodding. “Who lives here?” I’d seen Jumin’s place, once, and it was nice, but nothing compared to this. I was getting more curious by the moment. Who lived here, and for only part of the year?

“That’s classified, I’m afraid,” Jaehee said. “I’m not even privy to that information.” Jaehee made a wiping motion like _well, that’s that_ with her hands. “Good thing that’s information we don’t need to know for this project.”

Jaehee motioned me to follow her and I did.

“We do, however, have strict orders not to enter non-designated rooms for any reason,” she said, looking back at me from over the rim of her glasses. “So for our purposes, we must stay confined to the rooms located in the west wing, first floor only. That includes the entryway of course, which you’ve just been in, the front living room, the west wing kitchen and two bathrooms, one off the kitchen, and one off the west wing master bedroom.” 

“That should be enough,” I said, though I would’ve liked to explore the entire house, see what was up those mahogany stairs...

“Most certainly,” Jaehee agreed. “I’ve taken the liberty to dress the three different sets we’ll need for sette scene, the vanity and the bed…” 

I followed Jaehee down another marble hall and into a bedroom, if you want to call it that. This room was the size of Zen’s apartment, maybe even a bit bigger. The whole room was decked out in more of that gorgeous mahogany wood used for the stairs and huge french windows with panes of stained glass at the top. 

One side of the room was set up for the vanity scene. There was the ornate vanity - almost identical from the look book drawings, I noticed - complete with a large oval brass-rimmed mirror and elegant blood red velvet stool. There was even a set of brass-handled brushes, combs and several crystal perfume bottles.

“Wow,” I said. 

The heart-shaped bed was on the other side of the room.

“Wow,” I said, again, this more in amazement of Jumin’s poor taste.

The bed was just as kitschy and gaudy as the look book depicted, with a high-backed intricate brass headboard and matching curved feet at the base. The bed was covered a brocade red velvet bedspread and covered with pillows. The pillows were covered with different types of fur and animal patterns, zebra, leopard, tiger and the like. I furrowed my brow. I didn’t remember those from the look book.

“What’s up with the pillows?” I asked. 

“Oh,” Jaehee said running a hand through her short brown hair. “That’s um, well, Echo Girl requested those. She said she didn’t want look like she’d be the type of girl who didn’t know how to have any fun in the bedroom.”

“You’re kidding me,” I said, smirking. 

Jaehee scratched the back of her neck. “She was very adamant,” she sighed. 

“I see,” I said. So the first battle had already been fought before I’d even arrived. It was going to be a long day.

Off in another corner of the room, a small area had been set up with a makeshift dressing room. I was relieved to see many of the items Echo Girl requested lined up on a table nearby, including several types of lotion and hand creme, a very specific and hard to find mineral water (we’d had to import it from the United States), as well as the requested snacks, including the fish-shaped buns from her favorite local vendor (not the one near Zen’s house).

The rest of the room was already a buzz with a small crew of, I’m guessing cameramen and grips, the folks who rig with lights and position the soft boxes, reflectors and the like. Everything look set up and ready.

“Looks like we’re ready to go,” I said. “So where’s the woman of the hour?” I paused, looking around. There was also definitely another very important thing missing. “And where are the cats?”

“Oh yes,” Jaehee said. “That…”

\--- 

We didn’t get started shooting until almost 1pm. Echo Girl was fashionably late - her call time was 9:30am, and she didn’t show up until well after 11:00am.

“I’m sorry, darling,” she said to Jaehee, purposely, I think, making a pointed effort to snub me. “My esthetician was running behind schedule, and I just don’t go anywhere in front of any camera without first having my rejuvenating seaweed scrub… I’m sure you understand.”

The cats had shown up around 10:30am. Turns out the handler had gotten lost and gone to the wrong address. By the time the animals got to our venue, they were quite frazzled and distressed, having been confined to their carriers for more than two hours. Once they were freed, they spent the first hour tearing around the place arching their backs and hissing at each other, teeth bared, ears back flat against their heads.

“This is definitely not the look we’re going for,” Jaehee said, crossing her arms and shaking her head. The decision was made to open cans of tuna fish one of the production assistants had found in the kitchen and feed them to the cats. Soon they were licking and scooting cans across the floor every which way, purring to their heart’s content.

“OK,” Jaehee said. “That’s more like it.” She wrinkled her nose. “Although it smells god awful in here now.”

Once Echo Girl had arrived, there had been the anticipated fight over the dresses. If you recall, Jumin had selected some pretty dated looking styles. There was the red velvet chiffon dressing gown with the feather boa fringe, circa de 1950, which, yeah, sometimes vintage can be cool, but this wasn’t. The quality of the fabric was cheap, and the outer robe resembled more of a shower curtain than a dress.

“I am certainly not wearing this,” Echo Girl cried with, in my opinion, a justified look of disdain. Things were already bad, but then her face twisted into an even larger expression of horror when she saw the other dress. This gown was more of a “frock” that would cover her whole body, head to toe, fashioned from a bright yellow gingham fabric. It’s most awful feature, and yes, indeed it could get worse, was the high doily-like lace neck and cuffs. Who’s the pirate from Peter Pan? Oh yes, Captain Hook comes to mind, but yeah, in a dress, and in yellow gingham. 

I couldn’t help now but to picture Echo Girl in that dress as Captain Hook, with one hand as a hook and all. Then I imagined her getting eaten by a cartoon crocodile, battling its snapping jaws with flailing arms and legs. Having all these thoughts made me start smirk, and so I quickly covered my mouth with one of my hands.

“Excuse me,” Echo Girl started, turning her ire on me. Her usually doll-like big blue eyes were a focused, narrow blue flame. “Are you laughing right now?”

“Uh, no,” I said, but for some reason the look on her face just made me smirk harder. “I just…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had a tendency to erupt into giggles when put in a high pressure situation. This was happening now. 

Jaehee pulled off her glasses completely and shot me a look.

“MC,” she said under her breath. “For god’s sake, get a hold of yourself.”

Echo Girl now had her hands on her hips and her face was beet red.

“I should have known that you were too green to handle this,” she hissed. “I will not be made a fool of.”

Echo Girl turned on her heel and actually smacked the rack of dresses with her hand like a claw. 

“Eun-yi! Kim Dong-woo!” she bellowed. Echo Girl’s assistant and manager stepped forward.

“Yes, Ms. Madame?” Kim Dong-woo, the manager, said. 

Ms. Madame? I couldn’t help myself. I could feel my giggle on the verge of erupting into a full-on belly laugh.

“Well, you’ve been standing here this whole time, what is that you think I want?” Echo said, flashing a wicked look at her manager Kim Dong-woo, and then another one at me. God, she could be scary.

While Echo Girl was talking to her manager, Jaehee pulled me aside.

“MC, just what is going on with you?” she said. “You are being rude.”

“I’m sorry,” I said to Jaehee. “I don’t know…” I felt a fresh crop of giggles erupt and I brought both hands up to cover my mouth.

“Go splash some water on your face,” she said. “And then come back and fix this.”

\--- 

In the end there was a lot of haggling about what was written in the contract, what was considered binding and what might be considered negotiable. It wasn’t surprising that Jaehee had done her job by including a plan for any breach of contract - this was Echo Girl we were dealing with after all. 

“Lucky for you,” Jaehee advised me. “I included a 50% penalty clause for any breach of contract. That means Echo Girl - and more importantly - Echo Girl’s manager will be responsible for paying, or forgoing, 50% of the agreed upon appearance fee, should she fail to comply in any way.”

“50%!?” I exclaimed. “That’s a lot.”

“Yes,” Jaehee said. “She should have probably read the fine print and refused to sign it.” Her smile widened into an even more satisfactory grin. “This could mean that Kim Dong-woo may soon be looking for work.”

“This also means Echo Girl’s wearing the yellow dress,” I said, putting things together and smiling just a little.

“Yes,” Jaehee said. “It’s not normally a stipulation I would include, but Echo Girl is building quite a reputation for herself in the business for being a pain in the ass to work with.” 

My mouth dropped. Did Jaehee just say “pain in the ass”? This might be one of the worst days in my life so far, but I was going to remember this moment forever.

“I’ll say it again, because you seemed to like it so much,” Jaehee said, smiling, and then she put a hand on my arm. “Echo Girl is a pain in the ass to work with, yes, but there’s another reason. I also don’t like how she’s manipulating Zen… and you,” Jaehee paused, staring over the rims of her glasses out into space, her eyes narrowing. “I smell trouble… and someone needs to put that rich bitch in her place.”

“Pain in the ass” and “ritch bitch” in one day. I needed to buy a lottery ticket.

\--- 

Zen texted me around lunchtime.

Zen: You know natural D-sized cup breasts are overrated...

MC: Is that right?

Zen: How’s it going with the wicked witch?

MC: I don’t know if I can even put it into words… I kind of messed up.

Zen: Not even knowing what you “did”... I’m guessing that she probably deserved it.

MC: IDK… I’m not sure anyone deserves to wear that yellow dress Jumin picked out.

Zen: LOL. Fair point, but I’m on your side.

MC: Thanks. I love you.

Zen: I love you more. Hang in there.

\--- 

The hard part was relaying the bad news to Echo Girl. No matter how you sliced it, whatever happened, in her mind, was my fault, and my fault alone.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she said, her blue eyes narrowing in a I-need-you-to-pay sort of way. “You know I won’t ever forget this.”

The harder part was getting through the rest of the day. Zen wasn’t kidding when he said we’d have to do each take four or five times… Try more like five or six. Jaehee’s contract was specific: all filming for the production must be completed in a 24-hour period. I didn’t find my way back to Zen’s apartment until well after midnight.

I have to admit, I really did enjoy seeing Echo Girl wearing the yellow gingham dress, more than I would’ve imagined. I needed to remember to thank Jumin, when I saw him next.


	12. Red Death

I’ve always been superstitious about Tuesdays. No real reason. Just everything bad thing that’s ever happened to me seems to have happened on a Tuesday. The day my best friend, Kira, called to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend, for instance. That was on a Tuesday. The day my Grandma Wilma died of lung cancer - that was a Tuesday. Even the day that Saeran showed up at Rika’s apartment to kidnap me and the “secret security system” turned out to be a bomb. Yup, that was a Tuesday, too.  


Needless to say I always wake up feeling a little apprehensive on Tuesdays. I go out of my way to make sure I am careful and take every precaution. For instance, creature of habit that I am, I usually eat yogurt for breakfast most days of the week - except on Tuesdays. On Tuesdays, I always eat red bean rice cake instead for good luck.  


The first Tuesday Zen noticed I did this, he had made me a special breakfast, waffles with strawberry rhubarb compote.  


“What, you’re not going to eat my waffles?” he said, in disbelief.  


“Oh honey,” I said, reaching over to cover his hand. “Of course of I am! I just need to eat this first.”  


“Red bean rice cake?” he said with a quizzical look in his eye. “No offense, but that’s going to wreck your flavor palate.”  


“Don’t worry,” I said, taking a sip of water. “I’m cleansing my palate now, see?”  


Zen raised one gorgeous eyebrow and crinkled his bottom lip in thought.  


“This isn’t one of those superstitious luck things, is it?” He asked.  


I tried to hide it, but the look on my face gave me away.  


“Oh, MC,” Zen said, laughing. “You don’t really believe in that stuff, do you?”  


“Do you?” I countered. “It certainly can’t hurt!”  


“I don’t know,” Zen said. “Certainly there are some things out there that we can’t explain…”  


“Like your psychic dreams,” I offered.  


“Yeah, like some of my dreams,” he said. “But that’s very different than eating red beans to ward off evil spirits or chewing yeot before an exam.”  


“Still…” I said, pointedly taking a bite of red bean rice cake and chewing. Zen laughed.  


“Oh well, then,” he said. “Suit yourself.”  


Zen may have been a skeptic, but every Tuesday since, there has been a red bean rice cake waiting for me next to whatever else he had made me for breakfast. He was sweet that way.  


So far _this_ Tuesday was off to a good start. I got to work on time, a plus. Then the coffee pot was full, for once, and fresh - double bonus. There was even cream in the creamer. Yes, so far, so good. Today was going to be a good day.  


I wasn’t even that bothered when Jumin called me into his office on the way to my desk - this was becoming a regular thing, by the way. At least, this time, he didn’t ask me to sit down or insist that I stay too long. In fact, it really seemed like maybe he just wanted to compliment me on a job well done.  


“Echo Girl isn’t what you’d call a typical client,” Jumin said. “Her personality, well, it requires some finesse, which you seem to have in spades.”  


I felt a shiver go down my spine. It wouldn’t be a visit to Jumin’s office without something creepy happening, so I tolerated his slow moving gaze from my legs to my chest as he talked. I held my breath as his smokey grey eyes lingered at my bra line, before finally making their way up to my face. Here his eyes locked with mine and he held me here with an intense gaze for what seemed like several minutes. I tried to act natural.  


“Well, it was really all Assistant Kang’s doing,” I said, deflecting. “She handled the paperwork in such a way that left Echo Girl no option.”  


It was true. Without Jaehee’s legal prowess, I’d have been hosed. Without the strict legal stipulations outlined in her contract, Echo Girl may have been able to walk out on the cat commercial and I would’ve been left holding that god ugly yellow gingham dress. Instead, I thought smiling to myself, Echo Girl was forced to wear that dress for a piece that would be aired over and over and over again on TV, maybe if I was lucky, for months.  


“Nonetheless,” Jumin said, folding his hands and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk. “Your hard work and loyalty won’t be forgotten.”  


_Loyalty?_ I kind of wanted to know what Jumin meant by that exactly, but not enough to stick around his office a moment longer. I made a move toward the doorway.  


“I’ve got some work…?” I said, walking backwards, one arm reaching behind me for the door handle. I definitely wanted to get away before he could ogle me any more or get any new weird ideas. _Please no Echo Girl or weird cat-related projects,_ I breathed.  


“Thank you, MC,” Jumin said, waving me away.  


Walking out the door, I almost bumped into Jaehee, who was standing right there, maybe a bit too close.  


“Oh, MC,” she said. “There you are.”  


“Here I am,” I said. “Can I get you something?”  


“Uh,no,” she said, stuttering awkwardly. “I was just…”  


_Listening?_ I wondered. I waited politely for a moment for her respond before flashing her a tight smile and walking away. _Why weren’t Jumin and Jaehee dating, anyway?_ I thought to myself. They’re the perfect sort of weird for each other. I made a mental note to talk to Saeyoung about it.  


As I approached my desk, I saw something sitting on top of it - a tall slender vessel with a splash color on top. Was it, could it be… a bouquet of flowers? My heart jumped. _Oh Zen_ , I thought, _you are really too much_. My face broke into a wide grin and I felt my step quicken to a skip as I made a beeline for my desk. In the 2.5 seconds it probably took me to close the space, I’d already imagined and played out a whole scenario in my head: What the card might say, what Zen might’ve looked like picking out the flowers, how his beautiful slender fingers might’ve gripped the pen as he was scripting the message, what it all meant, etc. etc. Finally, in grande finale form, I pictured what I was going to do to him later to show my gratitude.  


As I got closer, though, time seemed to slow down. My eyes widened as the reality of what was sitting on my desk came into focus. Yes, it was a vase of flowers, but not the flowers anyone would ever want to receive. Not the kind of flowers anyone would ever dare to give as a gift. Sitting on my desk was a stark red bouquet of Red Spider Lily, the flower of poison, the flower of death. This was a flower you typically saw out in the wild, near graveyards. This was not the type of flower than belonged indoors, let alone on someone’s desk.  


I felt my stomach cave in as I had to back-walk and recalibrate my expectations. Not a display of love from Zen - far from it. Something altogether opposite. Who would send such an ill-wish? When I got closer and saw the card my angst magnified into full-fledged horror. Scrawled out in bold red ink on the envelope was my full name, MC.  


“Oh my,” I heard a voice cluck from behind me. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… It is forbidden to write the name of the living in red ink, is it not?”  


I turned in the direction of the voice and saw Mrs. C, the C&R greetings receptionist, standing behind me wringing her hands. Mrs. C was somewhere between the age of 80 and 100, no one knew and no one ever dare ask because, frankly, people were afraid of her.  


“It is said that she possesses the powers of the fox,” Jaehee once whispered to me over the rim of her glasses.  


“People think she’s a witch?” I said, in disbelief. Jaehee nodded.  


“People believe that Jumin is compelled by spirits to keep her employed at the company,” she said, frowning a bit. “Why else have such a bitter face at the reception desk?”  


I had to admit, Jaehee had a point. Mrs. C tended to keep to herself most of the time, but she was also known to make bold and unsolicited proclamations and disturbing statements from time to time. My real thought was that Mrs. C was less of a witch and more just old and honest, with few fucks left to give. Here she was, giving one now.  


“Oh my, dear,” she said. “What did you do?”  


_What did I do?_ I thought wildly in response. _I did nothing!_  


I didn’t even want to pick up the card, didn’t even want to touch it, let alone the flowers. The Red Spider Lily, sometimes more universally known as the Higanbana flower, was not only poisonous, it had deep specific meaning. Because the flowers and the leaves bloom at separate times - the leaves have to die before the flowers appear, and so forth - the plant is the ultimate symbol of separation. Poison, death, separation. It goes without saying that this flower always meant bad news for couples. I couldn’t be reading things any more loud or clear.  


“I… I…” I stuttered. Tears welled up in my eyes and a sob filled my throat as the thought of being physically or emotionally separated from Zen in any way tore at my heart.  


Mrs. C shook her head and clicked her tongue. “This is a bad omen,” she said, her voice sounding dark and ominous. “For you, but also for the one who gifted it. It is written, ‘For the being who dare cast the flower of hell has no passion, nor regard for eternity…’” Mrs. C lowered her head gravely. “The being who has done this has done so at great personal risk.”  


I looked at Mrs. C in disbelief. I didn’t so much care about the being who had done this. I cared about Zen. I cared about me. I felt my sobs explode in earnest and covered my face with my hands. _What the fuck was happening right now?_  


Jaehee appeared at my shoulder and tried to comfort me. “There, there,” she said. “We’ll get rid of this… these things... immediately. Mrs. C, call security. Tell them to remove the offending items and dispose of them in the company incinerator.”  


The incinerator? I wiped my tears and stopped to consider.  


“Wait,” I said, grasping Mrs. C’s arm just as the security guards were about to take the gift away. “Shouldn’t we…” I paused tentatively, half afraid to say what I was thinking out loud. “Shouldn’t we open the card? See what it says?”  


Mrs. C looked at me, and I noticed for the first time ever that her eyes were a crystal clear blue. “That depends,” she said. “Do you wish to be made aware of its contents? For if so, you acknowledge the power of its messenger.”  


Mrs. C was right. If I opened the message, it would in some way acknowledge the receipt and the acceptance of this gift. To leave it unopened was in itself an act of defiance. But still, I was curious. I closed my eyes and shook the thought away. _No, I thought to myself. _No, I do not, I will not, accept this gift._  
_

__

“No,” I said, shaking my head definitively. “I don’t need to see it. Take it away.”  


Jaehee nodded, touched my forearm, and then led the security guards away with the offending items.  


“You have chosen wisely,” Mrs. C said, placing her crooked fingers on my shoulder. For someone who had chosen wisely, I felt pretty damn awful. _Fuck Tuesdays,_ I thought.  


In the end no one could account for the for the gift, how it arrived or who gifted it. There was no signature at the front desk, no recollection of any suspicious visitor. The flowers and the card had just appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.  


I may not have known how it got there, but I was pretty damn sure who sent it. There was only one person who could have done this to me, done this to us. Just one.  


_Echo Girl._ The only thing that baffled me now is why she would risk the bad omen of picking the flowers in the first place, taking them from the place where they grew and, oh my god, gifting them.  


She must’ve really hated me. She must’ve really wished me dead.


	13. From Bad To Worse

Zen was working out when he got the call. It was arms and chest day, so he was in the middle of bench presses, pressing his usual 200 pounds when his phone started to buzz. His trainer, Moon-sik, who everyone just called “Sik” for obvious reasons - his biceps were the size of ATV tires and just as rock solid - reached for the bar.  


“Hey dude,” he said. “It’s your phone. You wanna get that?” Sik had this habit of talking like a beach bum surfer from Southern California. Apparently spending a summer there at a weight training camp makes you a native.  


Zen glanced in the direction of his phone. He wasn’t expecting any calls today. It might be MC, he considered, but he could call her back after his workout. It would give him something to look forward to. _God, MC,_ he thought. Just the thought of her purely genuine smile made him want to try harder at, well, everything.  


“Nah, it’s OK,” Zen said to Sik. “I can call back later. How about adding another 20 pounds?”  


The words were hardly out of Zen’s mouth when his phone started to buzz again. Sik glanced in the direction of the vibrating device.  


“I don’t know, dude,” he said. “Maybe it’s important.”  


“Yeah, maybe so,” Zen said, letting Sik take the bar. “Maybe I better take this.”  


Zen sat up to reach for his phone, and as he did the entire gym, male and female, turned in his direction to gawk and stare and, in some cases, openly drool. It was as if his beautiful shirtless chest was some kind of seafaring siren. Zen hardly noticed, as this was a fairly typically reaction. Just one of the side effects of being a human god.  


Zen picked up his phone and glanced at the recent missed calls. Jaehee. He’d barely registered this information when his phone started to buzz again. He picked up the call immediately.  


“Hello?” he said, standing up and walking quickly out of the weight room. “Jaehee?”  


“Zen?” Jaehee said. “Listen, don’t get alarmed, but it’s MC…”  


Zen felt dizzy and started to sway with all the thoughts that bombarded his consciousness in that moment. MC sprawled on the pavement, broken and run over by a car. MC collapsed near her desk, wordlessly and without cause. _Oh, god,_ Zen thought, more reasonably. _What if she was missing?_ He flashed back to thoughts and fears he was having on the day, and days leading up to, when he’d first rescued MC from Rika’s apartment. _What about the hacker? What if she’d been taken by the hacker?_  


Although Saeran had been recovered and returned, rescued by Saeyoung and Lexi-Ann, his captors, who they were and where they’d gone, had remained a mystery. That meant, in a sense, the hacker was still out there. Despite the best medical attention money could provide - _Thanks, Jumin,_ Zen thought, reluctantly - Saeran’s memory had been severely damaged. There were also few clues. The mansion from which Saeran had been discovered was vacated and empty when Saeyoung had returned for reconnaissance the next day, and although Saeyoung was still working through the data he’d recovered the day he rescued Saeran, nothing of real value had been discovered yet.  


“Jaehee,” Zen said evenly, suddenly coming to his senses. “What is it? Tell me everything.”  


Zen listened patiently as Jaehee relayed the news about the mysterious Higanbana flowers and winced a little when she got to the part about MC’s full name being written in red ink. Then Zen started to relax. OK, so MC was not physically hurt or missing. Zen would certainly take an ill wish over the hacker any day. Still, he knew how MC felt about superstitions, and he noted, it was a Tuesday. _Damn,_ he thought.  


Of course, the first person to come to mind as the offender was Echo Girl. WTF, was she crazy or what? Zen knew that Kyungju liked him. He knew that she _really_ liked him, and that she pushed the edge at every and any opportunity to get close to him. Just the other night, during the karaoke performance, she had started running her hand up and down his back seductively, which he knew, wasn’t in view of the cameras. What was the point of that?  


“I’m on my way,” Zen said to Jaehee, and without a word to Sik, Zen pulled on his motorcycle gear straight over his gym clothes and sped his way toward C&R International Headquarters.  


_I have to get to MC,_ he thought.

\---- 

When Zen got to C&R International, Jaehee was waiting for him outside the door.  


“How is she?” Zen asked, pulling off his helmet.  


“Well, that’s the thing,” Jaehee said, wringing her hands. “She’s just sitting there, working at her desk like nothing’s happened, but she’s not saying anything, you know? She’s not herself.”  


Zen took in a sharp breath. “Sounds like MC,” he said. “Upset but not wanting to cause anyone trouble.”  


Jaehee opened the door and Zen followed her inside.  


“At any rate,” Jaehee said. “I think you should probably take her home for the day.”  


Zen nodded. They walked down the long corridor toward the main work area in silence for a few moments. Then Zen stopped and put a hand on Jaehee’s shoulder.  


“Jaehee,” he said. “Do you think Echo Girl did this?”  


Jaehee stopped to consider. “Seems likely, doesn’t it?” she said.  


“Well, I have to admit,” Zen said, running a hand through his hair and sighing. “I’m starting to get really worried. Production for the second season of _More Than Friends_ is starting in less than two weeks.” Zen paused and bit his lower lip. “To be honest, I’m not sure I can work with her, Kyungju, that is… not when she’s pulling crap like this.”  


Jaehee nodded and sighed. They were almost to the main office now and she could see Mr. Han through the glass walls of his office sitting at his desk.  


“I hear what you’re saying,” Jaehee said. “But _More Than Friends_ is a significant production, and that means significant, guaranteed revenue for the company, not to mention for yourself.” She put a hand on Zen’s forearm. “Zen, this is your career we’re talking about, too, you know.”  


Zen sighed. He knew Jaehee was right. “God,” he said, rubbing his temple with his fingers. “I know you’re right, but I just can’t stand that woman.” He paused, picturing Echo Girl’s pouty, bitchy face in his mind.  


“You know, it takes so much out of me to work with her on the set,” Zen said, feeling exasperated. “I mean, in general she’s a pain in the ass, right? But you know what’s even worse?”  


Jaehee nodded her head “no” and Zen felt the heat of anger start to build in his body as another image of Echo Girl came to mind, one he didn’t like to think about.  


“Having to kiss her, god!” Zen said, freaking angry now. He had to squeeze his eyes shut to block out the memory. “It takes everything I have just to get through a scene like that.”  


Jaehee put a sympathetic hand on Zen’s arm.  


“God!” Zen said, again smacking the wall with the heel of his hand. “You know what I have to do to make that happen? To make it look convincing?”  


Jaehee nodded her head. No, she couldn’t imagine.  


“I have to think of MC,” Zen said, and he paused to look Jaehee in the eye, to gauge her reaction. “Yeah, I know, it’s awful, right? MC would love it if she knew that, too, right?”  


Jaehee just shook her head in sadness and sympathy.  


“You know, I even got a boner once?” Zen said.  


Jaehee’s eyes popped wide in astonishment. “What…?” she said.  


“Totally an accident,” Zen said, waving a hand in his defense. “It was so embarrassing.”  


Jaehee was gaping, at a total loss for words.  


“Oh yeah,” Zen said. “Don’t worry, she noticed... “  


Zen would never forget the smile and look of satisfaction on Echo Girl’s face after the kiss.  


“Too bad that shot was only from the waist up,” she had said, leaning in closer to whisper in his ear. “I knew you liked me.” Then she had reached down and grabbed his bulge momentarily, not long enough for anyone to see, but too long. “We belong together, Zen,” she had said. “We are destined to be.”  


Kyungju’s words had given him shivers, and not the good kind, and he felt sick to his stomach as well. Zen excused himself from the set and made a beeline for the bathroom, where he threw up in the nearest sink.  


“Zen,” Jaehee said, back in the office. She had recomposed herself, but her voice was shaking. “I really, really don’t know what to say.”  


“Don’t say anything,” Zen said. He was disgusted with himself. It was a memory he was trying hard to forget, and thought he was doing a good job of it, so far. But now, for whatever reason, he had decided to divulge this secret to Jaehee. _Why did he do that just now?_  


“In fact,” Zen said. “Forget I said anything at all… and please, please, please don’t share this with anyone else.”  


“Oh Zen,” Jaehee said. “You know I won’t, but…” There was that sympathetic hand on his forearm again. “But I think you should talk to MC about it. She has a right to know. Just tell her what you told me. I’m sure she’ll understand… and I think it will help her make sense of the whole thing.”  


Zen remembered how insanely jealous MC got of Echo Girl the other night during their karaoke performance. Perhaps at some level she already sensed what was going on, and trying to pretend it wasn’t happening wasn’t helping. Maybe Jaehee was right. Maybe it would be better if he just came clean about everything. Explain his acting methods and how he made it work. Explain that he thought of MC, used his feelings for her as a reference. Explain to her why it maybe appeared to be real because, in a sense, it was. It just wasn’t the way he felt about Kyungju, it was the way he felt about MC. MC would understand.  


But maybe he’d leave the boner part out of it.  


Jaehee and Zen had made it to the main office and Zen could see MC’s small frame hunched over her desk, her hair functioning like a curtain to hide her face. Jaehee was right. Her whole demeanor was off. She didn’t seem like herself. She didn’t even look up until Zen spoke.  


“Hey pretty girl,” he said.  


When MC did look up and she saw him, her eyes lit right up. God, he loved the way she looked at him. He was so used to getting looks of admiration. He literally got them all the time. Those looks were always full of lust, desire, an objective I-want-you kind of thing. The way MC looked at him was different. It had nothing to do with his looks and everything to do with him, who he was. How she put that all into a look he just didn’t know. She was so amazing.  


“Zen!” MC said, popping up and throwing her arms around his neck. He leaned down to kiss her sweet lips. “What are you doing here?”  


“Well,” he said, encircling her hips with his hands. “I heard about what happened…”  


MC glanced at Jaehee defensively. “But I’m fine,” she said.  


“To be fair,” Jaehee said. “You are not fine.”  


“But…” MC started. She was so cute when she got that pouty look on her face, Zen just couldn't stand it. He wanted her right there and right now in front of god and everyone. He was so blind with affection.  


“No buts,” Jaehee said. “Look, anyone would be rattled by what you’ve been through this morning. Take the rest of the day.”  


Jaehee was saying all this while looking over the top rim of her glasses, so Zen knew there was no use arguing with her. MC surely would realize that, too.  


“Come on, babe,” Zen said, lacing his fingers with hers. “I got something in mind.”  


MC smiled. God, he loved it when she smiled.

\---- 

Zen took MC to Mel’s, an American-style diner near the University district for lunch. He knew how much MC loved all things American, now knowing she’d spent a year abroad in California, he knew why. Over cheeseburgers, fries and a shared strawberry shake, Zen outlined his concerns and frustrations about working with Echo Girl (not the boner part), and then attempted to describe and then explain his acting methods. MC listened patiently, but was so quiet Zen felt his heart beat progressively harder in his chest. For once, her face was a blank slate. _What was she thinking? What was she feeling?_ He just couldn’t read her.

On the way home, they had to stop off at the grocery store to pick up some milk. While standing in line, Zen let his eyes rove over the magazines and tabloids. There was often some sexy picture of him on the cover coupled with a silly tagline. _ZEN: Beach Babe Says He Prefers Blondes_ (which he never said and wasn’t true) or _Lovey Hubby Gets Domestic_ (coupled with a candid photo of him picking out a laundry detergent at a local market - he’d honestly had no idea it was being taken or who’d taken it).  


Today, his mouth dropped when he saw the cover of _Enquire_. It was a picture of Zen and MC leaving the karaoke bar. Zen had one arm around MC and the other outstretched to block the flash of the camera. MC was looking pretty sick. The tagline read: _Zen’s Other Woman Is A LUSH._  


Zen turned to look at MC. The look on her face said that yes, she’d seen it, too. Zen’s heart sank. Maybe MC was just right about Tuesdays. Maybe he should start eating red bean rice cakes for breakfast, too.  


_Damn,_ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang, I think I finally know what this story is about (although still no idea where it's going to end up, LOL) ... so I've updated the title/summary. Thanks for your patience! Really appreciate the comments/kudos/bookmarks... Keeps me going! :-) :-) :-)


	14. Fake News

“God,” Zen said, in reference to the headline and photo on the cover of Enquire. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

“Just take it,” MC said, as the blank-looking expression on her face continued to darken. “Get one. I’m going to want to see it…” she swallowed. “Later.”

“Aw, MC,” Zen said, sympathetically. “You really think that’s a good idea?” 

Zen had experience with this sort of thing, the desire to consume all the media that was written about him, and then become too invested in what they had to say. It was like searching for health information on the internet. No matter what you found, it played into pretty much whatever fear you had. There were also about seven different versions of every story, so Zen had learned early on that the “truth” was definitely not out there. It was enough to make even the sanest person crazy. But MC didn’t know that yet. She hadn’t had to experience any of that kind of exposure to media scrutiny, until now.

“Just get it,” MC said, in a severe, clipped tone Zen hadn’t heard before. He sighed. He had to admit, he remembered what it’d been like all too clearly. He remembered the time when he’d fallen prone to the headlines suggesting that his performance in _Jalapeños Topping was Pretty Spicy_ had been subpar. He’d clicked on the link that suggested he’d had plastic surgery (definitely not true - he didn’t resort to Botox, like ever). He’d even channel-surfed through that first day of the Echo Girl scandal while downing a six pack of beer and feeling sorry for himself, sure that the whole thing would bring him to ruin. Yeah, he’d been there.

“You got it, babe,” Zen said, reaching for a copy the magazine. “But, you know, I have experience with this type of thing and I think…”

“Look,” MC said. “No offense, but I’m just not ready to hear your advice right now.”

_Fair enough,_ Zen thought. He tossed the magazine on the counter next to the milk. The checker at the counter pointed down at the picture.

“Hey man, is that you?” he said, jovially, and then he looked thoughtfully at MC. “And you?”

Zen was so annoyed he clearly couldn’t hide it. “Shut up, man,” he said. 

The checker’s jovial face instantly turned sour and he remained quiet as he rung up the rest of the purchase. 

Zen couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, he’d been rude to a fan.

\--- 

When they got home, MC was completely silent as she stashed her purse in its proper place on the back of the door, took off her jacket and hung it in the closet. Then she put her small hands over her face.

“Look,” MC said, rubbing her eyes. “I think I’m going to take a nap.”

“Aw, babe,” he said. “It’s the middle of the day…” Zen felt a wave of sadness, no of anguish, wash over him, imagining what she was going through. Then there was this feeling, something like a knife in the gut, realizing it was all because of him.

“OK,” he said, relenting. “I’ll come with you.”

“No,” MC said, holding out a hand in protest. “I think I need to be alone.” 

Zen watched crestfallen as she tried to fabricate a smile and failed.

“Just for a bit,” she said, as she backed into the bedroom and shut the door.

\--- 

[Zen has entered the chatroom]

Yoosung: Really? That happened?

Yoosung: [depressed emoji]

Jaehee: Yes. It was unpleasant, to say the least.

Jaehee: Zen! ^^

Jaehee: How’s MC? I expected you two would be out on a date.

Yoosung: a date?! ^^

Zen: Not exactly.

Jaehee: What do you mean?

Zen: She’s taking a nap.

Zen: [depressed emoji]

Yoosung: But it’s the middle of the day.

Zen: Yeah, I know.

Yoosung: And you could be on a date…

Zen: Yeah, dude, I know.

Jaehee: What happened?

Zen: There’s an article in _Enquire_ …

Yoosung: The tabloid?

Yoosung: [surprised emoji]

Zen: Yes, I haven’t read it yet but the headline is unfavorable.

Jaehee: What?!

Zen: MC is really upset. I don’t know what to do.

Zen: [crying emoji]

Yoosung: Give her some chocolate?

Jaehee: [sad emoji]

Jaehee: Something tells me she needs more than candy, Yoosung.

[Jumin has entered the chatroom]

Jumin: Yes, I have seen this article.

Zen: You’ve seen it?

Jumin: Yes, they called me for a comment.

Zen: What?!

Jaehee: Mr. Han, why haven’t I been notified about this?

Jumin: You should probably know that MC was fairly inebriated that night.

Yoosung: ...Inebri…what??

Jaehee: Drunk.

Yoosung: I know she seemed that way, but she only had one drink.

Yoosung: [confused emoji]

Zen: Wait… Yo, Trust Fund Kid… what’s this about a comment? What did you say… exactly?

Jumin: Just the truth. I wouldn’t worry.

Zen: [angry emoji]

Zen: What are you even talking about?

Jumin: I don’t see the problem, Zen. You were otherwise occupied.

Zen: What are you suggesting?

Yoosung: I think he means…

Jaehee: Mr. Han, please reconsider what you are suggesting.

Zen: That I was doing my JOB?

Jumin: If it’s your job to leave your girlfriend unattended at a party, then I guess you were doing your job.

Yoosung: Uh-oh.

Zen: Just what are you getting at, you jerk?

Jaehee: I am keeping out of this.

Jaehee: [sad emoji]

Jumin: A lady should never be left unattended at a party. 

Zen: [angry emoji]

Zen: What did you do, Jumin?

Jumin: Have you considered the possibility that maybe you aren’t fit to properly care for a lady?

Zen: And I suppose you are, cat freak??

Jumin: I do have more class and more means available to me than any low-tier actor like yourself can possibly provide

Zen: Yeah, you’re a trust fund jerk, that may be true…but maybe that’s not what’s important.

Jumin: Maybe you should let MC decide...

[Zen has left the chatroom]

\--- 

Zen was so angry he nearly threw his phone across the room. _That jerk,_ he thought. He picked up the copy of _Enquire_ he purchased at the market and quickly shuffled through the pages. _What did that rich fuck say?_

Zen flipped the pages angrily until he found what he was looking for: _Zen’s Other Woman Is A LUSH._ There was a bigger version of the photo from the front cover and a close-up of MC’s face. Her mouth was twisted into a crooked line. Her cheeks were pale, devoid of the usual rosy color. She definitely looked like she was about to get sick.

_Oh man,_ Zen thought. He, no doubt, had some bad and questionable press in the media, but at least all the photos he’d ever seen published of himself were good. He was so flawlessly handsome it was damn near impossible to get an unflattering photo of him. 

Zen traced the outline of MC’s jawline in the photo gently with his fingertip and sighed. Yeah, this was pretty bad. She looked pretty darn awful. It was about to get worse as he read the text:

\--- 

_The rising star actor Zen was spotted at Prince Edward Su out for an evening of karaoke fun. The actor was seen performing the title song “Rewrite The Stars” from last year’s award winning best new television series “More Than Friends” with co-star and pop icon Echo Girl._

_Fans lucky enough to be present at the impromptu event claim the energy between Zen and Echo Girl was undeniable. A source said: “The way they were looking at and touching each other throughout the performance… it was obvious how much they truly love each other.”_

_Echo Girl and Zen sang two songs together at the nightclub with the adoring look of love in their eyes. Then the actor Zen surprised everyone by leaving the establishment with another woman. A source present at the scene said she was “very confused” because she had witnessed Zen’s mysterious mistress sitting with a younger blond gentleman throughout the entire performance. “I was so sure that they were a couple… he had his arm around her and everything.”_

_The “other woman” has since been identified as MC, who recently moved back to the area after spending a year abroad in the United States. A source from Whittier College in California claims that MC dropped out of all of her courses suddenly mid-year. The source speculates that the former student of literature may have been very unstable. “It could have certainly been a drug or alcohol problem,” the source said. “Addiction is definitely one of the reasons students withdraw from school.”_

_“It is true that she was drinking at the event,” C &R International’s next CEO in line, Jumin Han stated when called for comment. C&R International is bankrolling the much anticipated second season of “More Than Friends”, which is slated to start filming in less than two weeks. The show will begin airing weekly episodes on the Korea Now Network starting in three weeks time._

_When called for comment, Echo Girl did not confirm nor deny that she harbors true feelings for her co-star Zen. When pressed with more questions regarding their relationship, the attractive pop star continued to blush and demure. Echo Girl said: “I’m sure our love will endure, especially with the whole country cheering for us.”_

\--- 

Zen’s face was so hot with anger when he had finished reading the article he had to remove his sweatshirt. _Damn,_ he thought. This crap was just so untrue. Zen knew full well why MC had dropped out of school. Yeah, she was having a hard time, but not because of a drinking problem. No, she’d had her heart stomped on and broken by her boyfriend and best friend. _Print that, mother fuckers,_ he thought.

Zen looked up to stare at the closed bedroom door. He thought about MC alone inside, likely curled up into a little ball on his bed. His heart swelled with sadness and love. How could he feel those two things at the same time? He didn’t know how it was possible but his heart both ached and felt filled with warmth. 

Zen inevitably felt his thoughts drift back the photo and article in _Enquire_. _God,_ he thought. He’d do anything to protect her.

Realizing that it was doing no one any good sitting here and being anxious, Zen decided he should go for a run. In order to that, he needed to change into running clothes, which meant he needed to slip into his bedroom without a sound, where MC was sleeping. Cautiously he approached the closed the door and lightly tapped. 

“MC?” he said, softly. When he didn’t hear any answer, he carefully opened the door.

There she was, just as he’d pictured, curled up into a cute ball on his bed, her long hair fanned out on the pillow. There was music playing softly in the background. 

He didn’t want to wake her, but he couldn’t help himself either. She looked so precious lying there all asleep and he just needed to kiss her cheek. He needed to softly whisper in her ear that he loved her, so that she might hear it in her dreams.

When he bent down to kiss her, some of his silver hair fell and brushed her cheek. The movement stirred her, and she sighed. She lifted up a small hand to brush the hair away, and Zen froze, not wanting to wake her.

When she quickly settled, Zen touched his lips lightly to her cheek. “I love you, MC,” he said, filled with emotion. “So, so, so much.”

Without a sound, he gathered the items he needed - the shorts, the shirt, socks and shoes - and then dressed in the fading late afternoon light. He realized, while pulling on his socks, that he could sit there, watch her and feel perfectly happy, maybe forever.

\---

Before leaving for his run, Zen went to the kitchen to mix a powdered energy drink. As he poured the orange powder into the glass and watched the crystals start to fall to the bottom, his eyes went wide with a thought - a horrible thought.

[Zen has entered the chatroom]

[Zen]: OK, where is that arrogant jerk? 

[Jaehee]: He left the chatroom shortly after you did.

[Yoosung]: Where did you go without saying good-bye?

[Yoosung]: [crying emoji]

[Zen]: I need to talk to him NOW.

[Jaehee]: Zen, calm down… why are you so upset?

[Zen]: Yoosung, you said MC only had one drink that night, right?

[Yoosung]: Yeah, uh, that’s right… ^^

[Yoosung]: What a lightweight, lolololol

[Zen]: This is no time for jokes.

[Jaehee]: Zen, what are you getting at?

[Zen]: Yoosung, you said MC couldn’t stand, right?

[Yoosung]: Yeah, that’s right… she kind of almost fell over.

[Zen]: After one drink…

[Jaehee]: Zen, stop. Think about what you’re thinking.

[Zen]: Then why are you thinking it, too, Jaehee?

[Jaehee]: I’m just saying, there has to be a reliable explanation.

[Zen]: You think? That jerk...

[Zen]: [angry emoji] 

[Yoosung]: Um, excuse me… what is going on?

[Yoosung]: [confused emoji]

[Jaehee]: Zen, I’m begging you…don’t jump to conclusions.

[Zen]: Jaehee, why are you defending him?

[Jaehee]: I don’t know. I just know he isn’t capable of doing what you’re thinking.

[Yoosung]: Hello?

[Yoosung]: Zen, what are you thinking?

[Zen]: I don’t know… Jumin, if you’re reading this I need to talk to you RIGHT NOW.

[Zen]: Sorry I’ve got to go.

[Jaehee]: Zen, wait…

[Zen has left the chatroom]

\--- 

For the second time today, Zen pulled his motorcycle gear on over his workout clothes. He scrawled a quick note to MC, in case she woke up while he was gone. What could he say?

_CHOICE #1: Babe, I think Jumin had something to do with the Enquire article… I’m off to find out!_

_CHOICE #2: Princess, I’ll be back... I need to find out why Jumin slipped you something during Karaoke night…_

 _CHOICE #3: Sweetie, There’s something I need to take care of… I love you. I’ll be back… soon._

In the end, Zen went with “choice three” because, hell, he didn’t know what was going on, and as much as he hated Jumin, he was part of the RFA and he didn’t want to believe that Jumin was capable of such a thing as spiking someone’s drink with some kind of, he didn’t know, drug?

In his heart, if he was listening, he knew that Jaehee was right, that there was some kind of semi-logical explanation for whatever Jumin had done. Zen recalled those first five days in the chatroom, when MC first appeared. During that time, it was anyone’s game. Zen had sensed that all of them, even Jaehee, were almost hypnotically attracted to MC. She was so gorgeous - even though most of them, apart from Seven, had never set eyes upon her, they knew. She had the power to set any of them right, with her unselfish motives and seemingly endless selfless sea of goodwill. Yes, she was that amazing.

Zen thought of his own complicated life, and then he thought about what he would’ve done, had MC not chosen him in the end. 

_I might be that crazy,_ he thought. _I might be that bold._

Zen tried to keep these more empathetic thoughts in mind as he sped towards Jumin’s penthouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so MC is hitting the dark night of the soul here... realize it's getting intense, especially for the people who love Jumin --- all I can say is I appreciate him, too, and I have faith that it's going to turn out all right... stay tuned... Thanks (always) for reading! Comments, suggestions, always appreciated... :-)


	15. What Would Dolly Do?

I woke up sometime in the early evening. Burnt orange rays of light were seeping around the shades and the room was bathed in the semi-darkness of twilight. Soft music was still playing from my phone, but otherwise the apartment seemed quiet and still. I rolled over to glance at the clock. Six o'clock. Zen had probably gone on a run.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes with both fists and then sighed. _Oh yeah, that,_ I thought. The fitful fresh feeling of a good nap was already starting to fade and get replaced with the not-so-pleasant memories from earlier in the day. The vengeful ill wish, the card with my name scrawled in red, the ominous red spider lily flower. I rolled my eyes. Then the "talk" I'd had with Zen, you know, the one where he mostly talked, and I mostly listened. The "conversation" where I got more raw and progressively more numb as he described his "acting methods" to me, something about using his feelings for me as "inspiration" for his art, as if I should somehow be grateful that he thinks of me when he's with other girls on stage. My stomach churned at the thought.

"God," Zen had said, reaching for my hand across the table and looking relieved. "I just really needed to tell you this. I hope you're not upset."

Ha. Was I upset? Well, that was the understatement of the year. I was no less than pissed. Not that I didn't somehow already realize, at some level, the kind of "artist shenanigans" that must go on to get the job done, but I preferred to stay in the dark. I didn't need to "think in detail" about how it all went down with Echo Girl line by line, scene by scene.

"Why are you telling me this?" I'd wanted to scream. "Today, of all days?" I'd wanted to say these things to Zen back at the restaurant, but for some reason I couldn't get air to pass my lips. So instead I just sat there, staring mute off into space.

I furrowed my brow and gritted my teeth. Then, and as if all that misery wasn't enough, something else happened. Yeah, wait for it - this was the fucking icing on the cake, and not in a good way. After the restaurant, we had to stop by the grocery store for milk - because after a day like today, there was _no way_ I was waking up tomorrow without milk for my tea. While we were standing line, waiting to pay I saw something that nearly made my heart stop. There on the magazine rack, on the cover of one of the world's worst gossip mags ever, _Enquire_ , was a photo of me and Zen. There I was, my first front page anything, and I looked like a total mess. I'm not in the least bit exaggerating when I say it was probably the worst picture of me ever taken - even worse than that awkward school photo I hated from the sixth grade.

 _God, no!_ I seethed at the memory and felt my anger level spike. Impulsively, I reached over to grab a half empty water glass on the nightstand and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall opposite the bed, luckily missing all of the mirrors, and shattered. It made a large satisfying sound when it did, and water beads went splattering everywhere. My eyes widened at the shards of broken glass on the floor and the glass-sized crater left behind in the plaster on the wall. I looked curiously at my arm, still lifted in mid-air. My hand looked foreign, like not part of me or my body at all. Even though there was no one there to see it, I felt my cheeks redden in shame.

At that moment, as if to mock me, or as if on cue, I'm not sure which, the music I'd been listening to cracked my consciousness. Before I'd went to sleep, I'd selected "artist" and "Dolly Parton" on Musikspy and just let it play. Now, one of her hit songs "Butterfly" was playing. The tone and mood of the song - lilting, light and sweet - was everything opposite of what I was feeling right now, but it caught my attention.

__

_Love is like a butterfly_

__

_As soft and gentle as a sigh_

_The multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings_

The music worked like salve on my raw nerves. I felt my anger start to melt away, so I closed my eyes and tried to listen harder.

__

_Love makes your heart feel strange inside_

_It flutters like soft wings in flight_

_Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing_

Dolly Parton was a country music artist I'd discovered while living in the United States, and she'd become somewhat of an inspiration to me, especially in the days/weeks following the Kwang-Jo incident. In the wake of my grief, I'd listened to her records over and over again. In her music, in her words, I found solace, and eventually some peace. Under her "guidance" I slowly started to rebuild my self-confidence.

You see, Dolly Parton was more than just a country music star, she was, in fact, a force of nature. Dolly may have been short in stature - she was just five feet tall with the biggest, blondest hair you'd ever seen ( _"my husband says I look like a Q-tip"_ ) and boobs to match - but lordy, she was a spitfire. Nothing ever got her down and she spent most of her time trying to lift others up. In addition to being a big time country music star, she was a philanthropist. She'd even created her own foundation, Dollywood, to support good causes like children's literacy. Not bad for a poor country girl, fourth of twelve, from a family in Tennessee,

Yes, Dolly Parton was indeed some kind of higher level human being and nothing short of a hero to me. She was known for her deeds, but she was also known for her words. She was a little woman with a big mouth, and her country-whip-smart phrases were often quoted and shared - and they always seemed to speak to me. One of my favorites was: _"Find out who you are and do it on purpose."_ Yes, Dolly had saved me more than once.

 _Hmm,_ I thought. _If Dolly had been there for me in the past, then maybe she could help me now._

"Come on, Dolly," I whispered out loud. "Talk to me." I squeezed my eyes shut and let her music overtake me.

_Your laughter brings me sunshine_

_Everyday is spring time_

_And I am only happy when you are by my side_

I started feeling frustrated right away. Maybe this isn't the song I should be listening to. I was feeling much too cynical, and much, much too raw. How was love ever like a fucking butterfly? It sure hasn't been that way for me, anyway. I thought about my current situation with Zen, and the crooked love triangle I was in with Echo Girl. I thought about Kwang-Jo and just how badly that situation ended.

 _Damn it all,_ I thought. _Whatever happened to fairy tales, happy endings and, yes, butterflies? Why did it always have to be so complicated and hard for me?_

I blinked as Dolly's strong sure voice seemed to pop out of nowhere in my head: _"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."_

Hmm, I had to think about that for a moment, but ok, maybe Dolly had a point. Maybe I was expecting too much if I thought love relationships were always going to be easy. Fairy tales, happy endings and butterflies were sweet and all, but if I'm being reasonable, that wasn't necessarily real life, was it? In fact, I considered, couldn't real life be much sweeter? For instance, I thought about the first time Zen kissed me - the moment those gorgeous lips touched mine. They were so warm and so soft, and being that close to him, oh god, he smelled so good. _Yeah,_ I thought smiling to myself, _that was a pretty big rainbow moment_.

Well, to Dolly's point, that moment may have never happened if Zen hadn't hurt his ankle and needed me to come and cheer him up. That moment may have also never happened had I not downloaded the messenger app at the hacker's request. So much rain, so many rainbows.

Then I smiled to myself again. I had another thought about rain and rainbows: wasn't it true that sometimes the rain begets even bigger rainbows? I thought about the huge fight Zen and I had just the other day, the morning after the karaoke night fiasco. How did that fight end? My smile grew wider as I thought about the feeling of his body on top of mine, and the way he breathed my name into my ear as he came. _Yup,_ I thought, _definitely a lot of rainbow there._

God, if keeping relationships picture perfect meant giving up those moments, I'll take a complicated and hard relationship any day of the week.

In fact, the more I thought about it, the more ridiculous my need for the Hollywood-ready relationship became. I mean, did I really even want fairy tales, happy endings and butterflies all the time? How much bullshit would that really be? I thought about Echo Girl and Zen in _More Than Friends_ and every other television show and Rom Com I'd ever seen. Did I not know how prefab and predictable those relationships were? I smiled at myself, feeling a little silly. Yes, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure that I didn't really want anything silly or fake like that at all. I wanted the real deal. I was looking for a _real_ prince and princess, not just two people who played them on TV. Sure, it wouldn't always be easy, and it might even be more difficult and complicated and, yes, sometimes sloppy. But it would be _real_ … and worth fighting for.

I sighed, starting to feel the power of Dolly rally around me. Things were starting to come together in my head, and I was starting to feeling better. _OK, then,_ I breathed feeling steady and bold, _so what does a "real" prince and princess look like anyway?_

To my surprise the answer to that question presented itself very readily. In my mind's eye, I re-framed the conversation I'd had earlier with Zen at the restaurant. This time, though, instead of just feeling angry and hurt, I focused instead on Zen's steady and earnest eyes, the way they looked as he was telling me about his acting methods and Echo Girl. My mouth dropped open and my heartbeat quickened in surprise. Why didn't I see it this way before? Here was Zen sharing himself in such vulnerable way, trusting me with his truth. _If that's not love,_ I thought, _then I don't know what is._

I had been so focused on being jealous that I totally missed the point of what Zen was trying to tell me. He was trying to reassure me, to explain why the scenes with Echo Girl seemed so real. He wanted me to know, beyond doubt, that when he was looking at her, he was really looking at me. He wanted me to know that all that expression of love was only really mine.

I was also so focused on myself that I hadn't heard Zen's own concerns about Kyungju. As if the ill-fated flowers and card weren't proof enough, Zen knew for a fact that Kyungju's feelings for him were real. He told me she'd flirted and hit on him more than once, and it was making things awkward.

"I don't think she's going to give up," Zen sighed. "I think she's going to continue to try and make problems for us."

I cringed remembering the crestfallen look on his face. Here's where I should've said something like "don't worry, babe, we're in this together" or "we'll figure this out". But I didn't. I said nothing. I was too busy sulking in my own jealous rage. I shook my head in my hands. I had fucked up. I had fucked up big time.

Suddenly Dolly's voice was inside my head again: _"If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one."_

Yes! Again, Dolly with the solid advice! I was going to have to work a hell of a lot harder if I was going to be a better girlfriend. No more holing up in the bedroom crying and feeling sorry for myself, complaining about all the horrible things that were happening _to me_ when I could be out there _doing_ something about them instead.

I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. Finally ready to take action, I asked myself the most important question: _What would Dolly do?_

I realized without irony that the way I’d been acting so far was probably the exact _opposite_ of what Dolly would do. I had been basically acting like a victim, and a passive victim at that… This was definitely _not_ who I wanted to be ... certainly not who I wanted to be “on purpose”. I needed another plan, an actionable plan, and I needed one fast.

It was time to get out there. 

“Don’t worry, Dolly,” I said out loud, and with a slight edge of vengeance in my voice. “I’m not going down without a fight.”

I picked up my phone and dialed Saeyoung's number.

Saeyoung picked up on the second ring. "Well, if it isn't the infamous MC," he said. I could hear the big smile on his face in his voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'll get straight to the point," I said. "I need your help."

"Ya," he said, perking up. "Do I sense a fun project that is right up our alley?"

Saeyoung was sometimes my partner in crime. We both had kind of the same twisted sense of humor, the kind that liked to play harmless pranks on the other RFA members from time to time. Once we even successfully convinced Yoosung that he had a fake condition called Passing Out After Drinking Caffeine Syndrome. Saeyoung went so far as to predict the approximate time Yoosung would pass out and told him the only thing that could save him would be to drink chocolate milk. Of course, I did my part by supporting and backing these assertions, and in general, just egging him on. Yoosung was so convinced that he might die he even confessed to breaking one of Saeyoung's toys. It was hilarious.

"Ya," I said imagining Saeyoung's eager face on the other end of the line. "I think you might love it, but it's serious, too."

"Serious?" Saeyoung said. "Major intrigue… Spill your guts, lady! It's never kind to keep a man in suspense!"

"Well, you know I've been having a little trouble with Echo Girl…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Whew! I struggled with this one... Don't worry, we'll get back to Zen and Jumin next time. Stay tuned! Thanks always for reading, commenting, etc. :-)


	16. Jumin, What Did You Do?

Zen's mind was racing as he sped toward Jumin's penthouse. He was running on raw emotion. He didn't have any kind of plan for what he was going to do when he got there. He didn't even know if Jumin was home or if he'd agree to see him. He just needed to get there and get some answers.

So many scenarios were running through his mind, all in answer to the main question: why? Why would Jumin try to drug MC? Why would he choose to make that unfavorable comment to _Enquire?_ What possible motive could he have? None of it made any sense.

Finally Jumin's penthouse came into view, a large 30 floor building secured behind two iron gates at the end of a well-manicured winding driveway. From where he stood outside the gates, Zen could see that the top three floors, the ones he knew belonged to Jumin, were lit up like Christmas. _Well, at least I know he's home,_ Zen thought.

Zen rang the buzzer and waited. A moment later the speaker crackled to life.

"Jumin Han's residence, may I help you?" It was a male voice Zen didn't recognize, strict and professional. Zen leaned in toward the speaker.

"Zen, err, Ryu Hyun, here to see Mr. Han," Zen said.

"Do you have an appointment?" the voice asked. It was 6:30pm, past business hours, why would he need an appointment?

"Uh, no," Zen said. "I don't have an appointment…"

"You'll need to make an appointment," the voice interrupted.

"No, I don't have time for that," Zen said, raising his voice a little. He was starting to feel impatient. "Tell Mr. Han it's Zen from the RFA, and it's urgent."

There was a click and then a silence. Zen held his breath. He hadn't really considered this, not being able to even make it past the front gate. He was an RFA member after all.

 _Arrogant prick_ , Zen thought, irritated.

Finally the speaker crackled to life again. "Please stand by," the voice said. "Transferring you to Assistant Kang."

There were some more clicks, followed by another silence and then the speaker crackled to life.

"Zen is that you?" Zen recognized the voice of Jaehee. "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, Jaehee, it's me, Zen," he said. Zen could've asked her the same thing. What the heck was Jaehee doing at Jumin's house after business hours? _Whatever,_ Zen thought. It wasn't a stretch to believe that privileged jerk would be a horrible boss, the kind that would keep his employees long past reasonable hours running his personal errands.

"You know exactly why I'm here, Jaehee," Zen said. "Let me in. I need to speak to Jumin immediately."

"Zen, we talked about this," Jaehee said. "You know I don't think it's a good idea for you to confront him here."

"So where do you suggest I confront him?" Zen said, his voice rising. "Because I am definitely seeing him somewhere, and I'm see him now."

"Zen, please," Jaehee pleaded.

"Jaehee, he drugged my girlfriend," Zen said. "I'll stand out here all night if I have to. You know I will."

"Zen, you haven't even thought this through," Jaehee said.

Jaehee was right. Zen hadn't thought any of this through, but he didn't care. He needed answers, a plausible explanation. He needed to know why Jumin did what he did.

"What's your plan?" Jaehee said. "You just going to come up here and say Jumin, 'why'd you drug my girlfriend?'"

That sounded pretty good, actually. "Yeah," Zen said. "That sounds about right."

"Well, I'm officially letting you know I think I this is a bad idea," Jaehee said.

"Noted," Zen said. "Now open the goddamn gate."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Zen," Jaehee said. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you protecting him, Jaehee?" Zen's adrenaline was rising. He was getting angry and more frightened about what he might find out. "Is he paying you to be his goddamn bodyguard? Let me in!"

"Calm down, Zen," Jaehee said with a frustrated sigh. "Look, I'll go and see if Mr. Han will see you now...but I can't promise anything."

"Good," Zen said. "I'll be here waiting."

The speaker went silent and Zen stood there for a few minutes with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He wish he still smoked, then he'd be able to have a cigarette.

 _Damn,_ he thought. He felt so helpless.

He looked up at the castle-like structure, but there was no discernible movement, and the crackling speaker remained silent. He realized he might be waiting here for a while.

\----

By the time I hung up the phone with Saeyoung, I was feeling energized and empowered. We had basically hatched a plan that would get Echo Girl out of our lives, or at least knock her down a peg or two.

"You know, it's almost too easy," Saeyoung had said. "I mean, she'll basically hang herself, if you let her."

I nodded and waited until for Saeyoung to continue. In the background I could hear the creak of his office chair as he settled into think-mode.

"You see," he went on. "We already know Echo Girl is a horrible human being…and horrible human beings, well, you know they are already going to do horrible human things…"

"Ya," I said, eagerly. I could see where he was going with this, and I liked it. "We just have to be there when it happens…"

“Ya… and capture it all on film,” he said, enthusiastically. He sounded almost like a mad scientist. “We’ll capture every filthy, damn moment of her being a horrible human being... and then distribute it all over the internet!” 

"Kind of like what you did to superpower Zen's reputation," I added. "...only in reverse."

“Yup!” Saeyoung said. “Eggs-actly!”

I imagined Saeyoung's red head bobbing back and forth as he said this. I think he was enjoying this maybe a little too much.

The best part of the plan was Lexi Ann. Since that cat commercial had gone so wrong, Echo Girl had fired her manager, and then her assistant flat out quit. It was the perfect opportunity. We were going to make sure Lexi Ann got hired on as her new assistant - that way we'd have someone on the inside.

"She's always begging me to get to do some secret agent stuff," Saeyoung said. "Now's her chance."

"How are you going to make sure she gets the job?" I asked.

"I can pull some strings…" Saeyoung said.

"And by that you mean hacking," I said.

"Ya, is the earth blue? Is the sun yellow?" Saeyoung said.

"Sometimes the sun is orange," I said.

"Technicality!" Saeyoung sang. "Suffice it to say that I can make sure Lexi Ann's application is the only viable one they receive."

It was times like this that I realized how glad I was that Saeyoung was on my side, and not the other way around.

\---

By now I'd cleaned up all the broken glass in the bedroom, and was trying to figure out what I was going to say to Zen about the hole in the wall. There was no other way around it. I think I just had to come straight out and say it. I'd had myself a little tantrum, I'd tell him. period. I had a feeling he'd understand…

Finally I wandered out into the main living area of the house. It was getting well on into the evening, and Zen still wasn't home. _Wow,_ I thought, _that's some run_. Then I came across his note on the kitchen table.

_Sweetie, There's something I need to take care of… I love you. I'll be back… soon._

__Hmm,_ I thought. _That's kind of vague… Maybe I'll log into the messenger app and see what's up.__

__

__

When I logged on there was no one there, and so I scrolled back and started reading previous messages. There was one from more than four hours ago. Zen must've logged on as soon as I'd laid down for my nap. I got a little misty when I saw how upset and worried he was for me. Then I got to part where Jumin entered the room. Jumin commented in the _Enquire_ article? Why in the world would he do that? What did he say?

Quickly, I spun around scanning for the copy of _Enquire_ I told Zen to buy at the store. It was nowhere in sight. Zen must have taken it with him.

I returned to the messenger app and tapped on the most recent conversation. As I scrolled down and read, my jaw dropped. Zen was accusing Jumin of something… My eyes got wider as I got deeper down on the thread. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Zen was suggesting that Jumin might've slipped something into my drink that night during the karaoke performance. Was he serious? And was that the "thing he needed to take care of" right now?

I was just about to log out when Yoosung logged on.

_[Yoosung has entered the chatroom]_

Yoosung: MC! You're here^^

Yoosung: [happy emoji]

Yoosung: We've all been so worried for you.

MC: I'm sorry to have worried you

MC: but thanks^^

MC: Listen, do you know where Zen is?

Yoosung: He's not with you?

MC: He left a note that he's on an errand...

MC: But I read the last chat…and now I'm worried…

MC: It seems like he left in a hurry...

Yoosung: Yeah, he said he needed to talk to Jumin...

Yoosung: He was pretty upset T-T

Yoosung: [depressed emoji]

MC: oh God, you don't think…?

_[Jaehee has entered the chatroom]_

MC: Hi Jaehee

Jaehee: Zen is here, waiting outside the gate of Mr. Han's penthouse.

MC: ?!

Jaehee: you must've read the chat log

MC: yes...

Jaehee: He's insisting on talking to Mr. Han, but I don't think it's a good idea

MC: What's this about Jumin possibly drugging me?

MC: And making a comment to Enquire?

MC: I'm so confused.

Jaehee: I wouldn't get alarmed...

Jaehee: There is certain to be a logical explanation for all of this...

MC: I hope so!

MC: I'm getting very curious.

Jaehee: I'm trying to reach Mr. Han on the phone now.

Jaehee: He's not answering any of my calls.

MC: But you say you're at the penthouse now?

Jaehee: Yes, but Mr. Han has locked himself in on the top floor.

Jaehee: I know this because I can hear the Vivaldi

MC: Is this something he does often?

Jaehee: No one is allowed in except Elizabeth the 3rd

Jaehee: MC, I really think you should try and get Zen to come home.

Jaehee: I think Mr. Han will likely be indisposed for the rest of the night.

MC: What is going on, Jaehee?

Yoosung: Yeah, what is you're not telling us?

Yoosung: You sound worried.

Yoosung: [crying emoji]

Jaehee: Don't worry yourself, Yoosung.

Jaehee: Mr. Han is fine. Everything is fine.

Yoosung: But that's just the kind of thing people say when things are *not* fine

Yoosung: [confused emoji]

Jaehee: In fact, I must go… I need to prepare some paperwork for tomorrow.

Jaehee: MC, please try to get your boyfriend to come home.

MC: I'll do my best ^^

Jaehee: Good night, all!

_[Jaehee has left the chatroom]_

Yoosung: Wow. Jaehee doesn't seem like herself.

Yoosung: I wonder what's going on?

Yoosung: [confused emoji]

MC: I don't know but I should probably get going, too.

MC: I need to see if I can reach Zen.

Yoosung: OK. Good luck ^^

MC: Goodnight ^^

_[MC has left the chatroom]_

I had barely logged out of the messenger app when my phone began to buzz. It was an incoming called from Jaehee. I picked it up immediately.

"Jaehee," I said. "What's going on?"

"I didn't want to say this in the app where everyone could read it, but there's something very strange going on with Mr. Han," she said.

"OK," I said. "So what's going on?"

"I really didn't want to have to involve you, but it seems I have no choice," Jaehee said.

I felt a bad feeling creep up my spine and I sank down on the couch.

"What is it, Jaehee?"

"Oh, I don't know where to begin," she said.

"Just tell me, Jaehee," I said.

"Well, I don't know how else to say this, but it seems Mr. Han has developed feelings for you," she said.

"What?! That's impossible," I said, but even as I got the words out of my mouth, I knew it was true. I just didn't want to believe it.

"And it seems lately he's taken to some pretty, uhmm, creative measures to try and win your affection," Jaehee said.

My mind was reeling, thinking back to all the impromptu meetings in his office, the creepy stares, the unsolicited half-attempts at compliments.

"He told you this?" I said. "Jumin told you he has feelings for me?" Somehow I couldn't picture this, Jumin pouring out his heart to Jaehee over coffee. No, that's not how it would go at all.

"Well, that's the thing," she said. "He didn't tell me, not exactly. In fact," Jaehee paused to take a breath. "I don't think he knows that I know anything about it."

"Well then, how can you be sure this is true?" I wondered.

"Well, I have been watching," Jaehee said. "...and gathering evidence."

"Evidence?" I said, feeling my stomach lurch in blood curdling surprise. "Like what?"

Jaehee went on to tell me that, about six weeks ago, she was in his office looking for an important stack of papers.

"I know I'm not even supposed to be in there by myself, but I needed these very important documents," she said, sounding sad and guilty as hell. "You see, I know it was wrong, but I was so desperate… Mr. Chairman was waiting for them in the next room."

Jaehee went to to tell me how her search prompted her to look inside Jumin's desk. Well, when she opened the left-hand top drawer, she found something shocking.

"There were maybe thirty pictures of you," Jaehee said. "All taken from different angles, different places. Some were candid shots, like maybe he'd been following you around, or maybe having you followed."

I sucked in a breath. Zen was going to freak out when he heard about this. He was already upset, this was just going to make things worse.

Jaehee must've been reading my mind because she said, "You realize you cannot mention a word of this to Zen...You know how he gets…" Jaehee paused to take a lion's breath. "For Christ's sake, he's standing out and waiting outside the penthouse right now... and he doesn't know the half of it!"

"Oh god, Jaehee," I said. "How can I not tell Zen?" I was just thinking about my new promise to Dolly, the one about how I was going to be a better girlfriend. "We can't possibly have a secret like this between us…"

"Look," Jaehee said, her voice getting very low. "Just for now, then. Just until I figure out what the very next step will be."

"Jaehee," I said. "I just don't…"

"Look," Jaehee said. "I promise you he's not dangerous..."

"Dangerous!?" I breathed. "Jesus, Jaehee!" I hadn't even really considered that as a possibility, but now my blood pressure was rising.

"Just give me 24 hours, OK?" Jaehee said. "I'll figure something out."

I thought about it a moment. What other choice did I have but to trust her? It sounded like Zen was already halfway off the rails. This new information would only send him over the edge. Besides, what was twenty-four hours in the grander scheme of things?

"OK," I said. "I'll do my best, but if something happens and I feel like I need to tell him, all bets are off."

"Fair," Jaehee said. I had one more question.

"Jaehee," I said. "What are you doing at Mr. Han's house so late at night?"

She sighed. "Oh, it's a special project," she said. "Classified."

"Of course," I said. How convenient. "OK, I'll get going then."

"MC, wait…" Jaehee said. "Please make sure you bring Zen home. It won't be good for his complexion if he stands out there all night in the wind and cold."

"I'll do my best," I said. "But I meant it, you've got twenty-four hours."

When I hung up the phone, I leaned my head back on the couch and just stared at the ceiling, trying to process everything I'd just heard. I'd just come up with a plan to deal with Echo Girl, and now I had to deal with my boss's a stalker crush? Wow, I thought. Just wow.

\---

In the end, I decided it was the right decision: I needed to trust Jaehee, at least for now. She was right, we didn't have enough information and Zen would certainly go ballistic if knew my boss had been practically stalking me. Zen and Jumin didn't like each other anyway, which would only add fuel to fire. Besides, when it came down to it, did I think my boss was creepy and annoying, yes, but was I afraid of Jumin? Did I really think he was going to hurt me? No. I mean the drug in my drink thing scared me a bit, but like Jaehee said, we both knew he wasn't really that type of man. Still, I was going to watch out for myself, like I surely wasn't going to accept and food or drinks from him, LoL.

It was getting pretty late at night, almost 9pm, and I still hadn't heard from Zen. He hadn't shown up on the messenger app yet, either, so it was getting pretty clear I was going to have to take action. Zen was probably still out there waiting to talk to Jumin, and I knew he could be a bit stubborn. How in the world was I going to get him to come home?

The answer to that question suddenly appeared in my mind clearly, as if it were already predetermined. Of course, why didn't I think of this before? I smiled to myself. _This might well be fun._

First I went into Zen's closet and picked out one of his cream-colored long-sleeved button-down shirts. Then I took off all my clothes and put it on. I rolled up the sleeves to the elbows and unfastened the top three or so buttons, just enough so the fabric hung hinted at the curves of my chest when I was sitting or standing up. Just enough so the fabric would fall forward and give Zen an eyeful when I leaned over. Lastly, I went into the bathroom to add a few finishing touches to my hair and face. I loosened and tousled my hair for the sexy bed head effect and then smoothed on some cherry lip gloss.

Ready for action, I pulled my laptop out of my work bag and placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch in the living room. After one final look over in the sidewall mirror, I fired up the face2face app and dialed Zen's number. He picked up right away.

I decided that I wasn't going to try to pretend that I didn't know where he was… it was getting pretty late now and he'd know that I'd probably already been on the messenger app and read all the logs by now. Plus his video feed would be a dead giveaway - I would be able to see straight away that he was standing outside the gate of Jumin's penthouse. I was hoping my outfit, or dare I say, lack of one would be sufficiently distracting.

I was right.

"Whoa, babe," Zen said once the connection was made and the video feed went live. His red eyes popped wide with lust and his mouth stretched into a lecherous grin.

"What is it that you're wearing?" He said.

"Just one of your shirts," I said, placing emphasis on the word "just" and smiling. I noticed with satisfaction that he couldn't tear his wild red eyes from my chest long enough to look me in the eye.

"Well, it suits you," he said. "You can keep it, damn."

I leaned forward a little to give him a glimpse of the full view down the front and he gasped.

"Aww man," he said, shaking his head in amazement. "Babe, you're just killing me right now." Zen glanced around nervously, once over each shoulder. "Like hopefully no one else can see this right now..."

"I'm home alone, Zen...and all the shades are drawn, relax..." I assured him. Then I leaned back onto the pillows of the couch and moved my hand lower, out of view.

"Guess what I'm doing now, my lovely Zen?" I said, sweetly. I heard him suck in a sharp breath of air.

"You are not…" he said.

I nodded my head slowly and smiled wickedly. "I am," I said. "...and guess who I'm thinking about?"

"Aww, man," Zen said, his cheeks flushing pink. "Aww, babe, don't…"

"Want me to tell you _what_ I'm thinking about?" I cooed. As I said this, I bumped the laptop with my knee on purpose so it would slide forward on the coffee table. This caused the camera to tilt downward and momentarily reveal my actions between my legs.

Yes, I was really doing it, and enjoying it, too. Zen's eyebrows shot up and he groaned. Then his eyes got that smokey beast look they get when he wants me, when he wants me bad. I had him.

"Oh!" I said, righting the camera angle with my other knee. "Sorry-not sorry about that," I purred.

"Jesus, MC!" Zen said. His face was so flush, his jaw was so slack and his tongue was almost hanging out. I loved having him under my power like this and I was cursing the fact that he was all the way over on the other side of town. I was dying to get my hands all over him, like now.

"Babe," I said, carefully, keeping it playful. "I think you should come home now, don't you?"

I watched him momentarily glance in the direction of the gate, then back at me, then back at the gate. He was painfully torn.

"Uh, but Sweetie," He started.

"Zen, honey," I said. "I know why you're at Jumin's house, and I appreciate you running out to defend my honor and all, but I kinda need you here right now…"

I bumped the laptop again with my knee. By now he probably realized I was doing it on purpose.

"Oh, MC," he whispered. "But I…" His voice was weak almost pleading. I can't tell you how sweet it was to have this handsome man-god so much at my mercy.

"Jumin will be there tomorrow," I said. "And the next day after that… but me," I said making a pouty face I knew he found irresistible. "I don't know how long I'm going to last…"

"Aw damn," he said, letting his eyes roll back in his head, giving in to whatever dirty thought he was thinking. He let out a long, low sigh.

"You are too cute, you know that?" He said, smiling wryly. "Haven't I told you to stop being so cute?"

That's about when I started to come. I felt my breath get hotter, shorter, quicker, and Zen got quiet… I think maybe he was a little stunned. Maybe he'd never seen a girl get off before on her own?

"Oh MC," he whispered. "Jesus, you're beautiful." His voice was low and thick, and his eyes were heavy with wanting. Seeing him that way just drove me harder.

I threw myself back on the pillows and continued to go to work, fingers working faster now to get me where I needed to be. The laptop was still in place but I had used my ankles to press my body further up onto the couch so my lower body up was now in full view of the camera. As my climax built my mind and senses swirled into colors, blues, golds and silver, like Zen's hair. Finally my eyes rolled back into my head and as I started to lose my mind just a bit more I started breathing his name over and over.

"Hyun, oh Hyun…oh god, here I come, oh god, H-yun!" In a rush of pure sensation the swirling colors exploded into a million little particles of light that left me quaking and shivering. I lay back on the pillows, panting, a little flushed and utterly satisfied.

"God MC," Zen said, a moment later. "I've never seen anyone look more beautiful than you did just now." Sentimentally, he reached out to touch his screen with a finger to trace my face. His red eyes were still lusty, shady.

I smiled. "Well, are you coming home now, Hyun?"

He smiled like a little boy at the sound of his first name.

"Oh yeah, you bet I'm coming home," He said, without hesitation or even a glance toward Jumin's penthouse. Then his eyes got dark again, and full of intent. "Oh, and MC?"

"Yeah?" I said, matching his tone.

"I think I may need to get selfish with you, if that's ok?"

"I want you to," I said.

"Don't you dare move or change a thing," he said. I could see him already reaching for his helmet. "I need you to stay there so I can see you just as you are now."

I smiled demurely. "I wouldn't have it any other way," I said, purposely leaning forward.

"Aw, man...oh stop, already!" he groaned. He leaned forward and kissed the screen, giving my breasts a big "muah".

"Don't speed too fast my lovely Zen… I need all of you when you get here."

"I love you, Pretty Girl," he said. "I really do...and I'll see you soon."

"Yes, you will," I said. "I love you, too, Ryu Hyun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Whew... time for a cold shower! Dang. Where'd that come from, LoL. A little longer than usual, but a lot of ground to cover, especially where Jumin is concerned. More to come in that department... I'm feeling for the guy right now, aren't you? As always, comments, suggestions, reviews, etc. appreciated... :-) :-)


	17. In Which More Is Revealed...

"So, what's with the hole in the wall?" Zen said.

We were lying in bed cuddling a bit before I got up for work and he got ready to go to the gym.

"Uh," I said. "That…" My cheeks reddened a bit. I didn't usually have that much of a temper. Any kind of violence was unlike me. I think Zen knew that, but we hadn't actually known each other that long.

Zen was giving me a quizzical look. "Babe," he said. "That wasn't you…was it?"

When I looked down at the sheets, hanging my head in shame, he started to laugh. "Ha, it was you, wasn't it?"

He gently lifted my cheek and brushed my cheek with his thumb. "Aww, man," he said. "Even that is cute… I bet you're cute when you're angry…" He smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Well, as long as you're not angry at me, that is..."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't know what got into me… I'm usually not like that."

"Don't worry about it," he said, pushing the hair out of my face lightly with his fingers. "I'm not mad or anything. This will just give me a chance to show you how handy I am."

My eyes popped in surprise. "You?" I said. "Handy? Like with tools?" Somehow I couldn't picture Zen on his knees with a hammer or a wrench or doing any kind of menial labor.

"Absolutely," he said with a look of feigned offense on his face. "Don't sound so surprised. Who you think keeps this place in check? My landlord is kind of a dick, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly rolling in extra dough."

It was my turn to touch his cheek. "Impressive," I said, half-jokingly. "I love a man with tools...it's so hot." I pulled myself up to fully straddle him, cup both of his cheeks and kiss him on his gorgeous lips.

"Mmm…" He said, gripping me tighter around the waist. "Well, just let me show you how well I screw…"

"Ugh, eew!" I said, pulling back and pushing him away with a smirk. "That was a pretty bad one…"

"Was it?" He said, frowning a bit. "Saeyoung says he doesn't like my jokes, either. He says I'm not clever with words."

I touched his cheek. "You have so many other talents, though," I said, giving him a teasing sympathetic look.

It was getting late, so we got up to get showered and dressed. When I emerged from the bedroom, I found Zen in the kitchen scrambling eggs.

"So, we didn't talk about it," he said. "Jumin…"

 _Oh,_ I thought. _Here it comes_. I quickly sucked in a breath and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Oh yeah?" I said, trying to act natural. "What about him?"

"What about him?" Zen said, spinning around looking somewhat surprised. "He just tried to drug you, MC…"

"You don't know that," I blurted.

Zen switched off the stove and removed the pan of eggs from the burner in such a way that revealed his irritation.

"I don't?" He said, his eyes now a glowing red. I held his gaze.

"No," I said, confidently. "You don't."

Zen grabbed two plates from the cabinet, clanking them angrily on the counter. "You too, MC?" he said in reference to Jaehee. "Why are you _also_ defending that jerk?"  
"Babe," I said, striding over to touch him on the shoulder. "I'm not… I just…" I sifted my brain for the right words. I was a horrible liar. This wasn't going to be easy. _Jaehee better come up with something soon,_ I thought.

"It's just…" I started again. "Well, you and Jumin don't get along that well anyways, right? Do you think, umm…" I let my hand slide down his arm and wrapped his fingers in mine. "Do you think that maybe you could be... jumping to conclusions?"

Zen bit his lower lip and broke our gaze. I could see him struggling, considering my words. What I was saying was kind of true, though. We didn't really have the whole story, and even though the part of it that I only knew pointed toward "guilty" the thought of Jumin drugging me still seemed ludicrous.

After what seemed like a long moment, Zen sighed. "Maybe," he said, relenting. His red eyes shot up to mine. "But that doesn't mean I'm dropping this… I'm going to find out what happened." He turned to gaze out the window toward the street, which was already bustling. Since it was a basement apartment, you could only see the lower third of people's legs as they hurried by. It wasn't much of a view.

"Damn it," Zen said. "People with money, people with privilege, they think they can act any way they want…" He exhaled so sharply his bangs jumped. "I'm going to get answers."

\---

When I got to work the office seemed more a buzz than usual. There were groups of people gathered around each other's desks, smirking and pointing to something on their computer screens. Obviously, whatever it was, it was hilarious. _Must be a new meme,_ I thought.

I was more curious about whether or not Jumin was here yet, and if I was going to make it past his office without a sit-down. I held my breath as I approached the glass wall of his office, keeping my head down and walking a little faster than usual. As I passed by, I glanced sideways out of the corner of my eye. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the tall leather chair was empty. _Thank god._

I made my way to my desk, sat down and logged onto the messenger app. I had a message from Saeyoung. _Check your FakeBook_ , it read, coupled with an animated emoji of the redheaded genius winking and snapping his fingers. Curious, I powered up my computer and logged on to FakeBook right away. _Oh my god,_ I thought, _so this is what everyone in the office is buzzing about._

There was a new meme. "Someone" had made several green screen images of Echo Girl available, the kind you could easily photoshop into any picture. In every single photo she was wearing that god awful yellow gingham dress, each with a different caricature expression on her face. There was Echo Girl, pouty and pissed, angry and shouting, with a learing smile, with her tongue hanging like a dog, etc. Altogether there were about fifteen expressions to choose from and people were going to town with them, editing and posting them as various memes. There was one of the tongue-hanging-out Echo Girl superimposed in a field of wildflowers, straight out of out of _Little House on the Prairie_. The caption read "Anyone seen my sheep?" There was another one with a superimposed image of Echo Girl looking shocked replacing the old woman in Grant Wood's famous painting _American Gothic_ with the caption "Herman just gave me a wedgie". Ok, so like most memes, I really didn't get any of them, but Echo Girl looked ridiculous in all of them, which was the important part. It made very happy, very happy indeed.

I felt a very satisfied smile stretch ear-to-ear. _Way to go, Saeyoung,_ I thought, way to go. _We were well on our way._

\---

Just before lunch, I got an idea. On my way out to grab a bite, I took the elevator down to the basement to visit the costumes department. Armin, the head costume designer, was working on the hem of what looked like a grand purple riding jacket.

"Hey, Armin," I said. "What you got there? Are we expecting a Prince impersonator?" My brain couldn't help but try to put two and two together. What kind of cat-something-with-Prince business idea could Jumin possibly come up with? I smirked at the thought.

"Well, hello there, MC," Arim said, looking up. He was a Pinocchio's grandfather type, only gay and with much better fashion sense. "What can I do for you?"

"Well," I said. "I'm here to ask a favor…" I paused and smiled wryly. "It may be kind of a win-win situation."

Armin's eyebrows went up, interested. I went on to tell him I think I had a way to get that yellow gingham dress off his hands for good. I knew, from working on the cat commercial, that Armin hated that dress. He hated being forced to design it for Jumin in the first place. He hated having it cataloged in the inventory, where it could be selected again for another shoot and another production credit.

"I just despise the fact that that dress exists," he had told me as he was adding the grand white doily collar and cuffs at Jumin's request. "It's a tarnish to my reputation as a designer and an artist… I can't believe my name is attached to a garment of such..." He snapped his fingers in the air, looking for the right words. "... of such prudish gaiety…"

To make a long story short, Armin was quite happy to hand over the dress to me to help me make it "disappear". I told him I'd take the heat if anyone ever found out.

"I'll say Echo Girl wanted to keep it," I said. "For her personal collection."

After saying good-bye to Armin, I headed out to lunch, but instead of going to get something to eat, I stopped off at a local seamstress shop. There was a young girl, about sixteen, sitting at the counter, pecking at her phone.

"Can I help you?" she asked, not even looking up.

"Yes," I said, laying the dress out on the counter. "I'd like to have a handkerchief made from the material of this dress…"

The girl caught a glimpse of the dress out of the corner of her eye and then both eyes went wide. "Wait, isn't that…?" she said, looking up at me in surprise and recognition.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, pretending not to know. _That meme must be making its way around,_ I thought.

Just then, an older rounder woman emerged from the back. "Suki, what, do we have a customer?"

The girl started to respond, but I butted in. "Yes, I'd like a handkerchief fashioned from this material… the yellow gingham, bordered by the lace cuffs," I said, explaining.

The woman bustled over to the counter and fingered the material for a moment. "Of course," she said. "It can be done…" Then she gave me a suspicious look. "Is this, may I ask, a gift?"

"No," I lied, feeling the low heat of shame creep into my cheeks. "It's for me."

"Really?" the woman said. She knew as well as I did that gifting a handkerchief meant bad luck for someone. Everyone knows - at least in Korean culture - that a gifted handkerchief is a harbinger of sad things and tears to come for the receiver.

"Really," I assured her, but I was lying. I knew I was planning on gifting that handkerchief to Echo Girl.

When I got back to the office after lunch, I noticed that Jumin still hadn't made it into the office. _Hmm,_ I thought.

As soon as I got back to my desk, I gave Jaehee a call. She answered after the third ring.

"Hello?" Jaehee said, as if she couldn't see the caller ID.

"Jaehee," I said, glancing quickly over both shoulders to make sure no one was in ear shot. "It's me. What's going on?" I paused and when she didn't answer, I added: "Time's almost up."

"I need some more time," Jaehee started.

"Uh-uh," I said. "No way, no can do. We had a deal." I glanced in the direction of Jumin's glass office. "Where's Jumin, anyway? It's not like him to miss work."

Jaehee was quiet for a moment on the other end of the line.

"Jaehee?" I prompted. "Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here," she said and she sighed. "Come by my office before you leave, around 5pm. I'll tell you what you need to know then."

Before I could answer, the line went dead, click. She had hung up without even saying goodbye. That was so rude, so utterly not-Jaehee. I found myself a little thankful I hadn't had time to eat lunch because suddenly my stomach was churning in an up-chuck kind of way. I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear what she had to say.

\---

At five o'clock, I grabbed my things and went straight to Jaehee's office, a small renovated broom closet at the end of the north hall across from the men's bathroom. I tapped on the half open door. The placard, I noticed, didn't even include her name; it simply read: "Assistant to Jumin Han".

"Come," Jaehee called from inside.

I pushed the door open and squeezed myself into the folding chair across from her desk, which was piled high with papers and surrounded by towering file cabinets.

"Hello, Jaehee," I said.

"Hello, MC," she said. "Did you eat a good lunch?"

I swallowed, remembering my lunchtime errand, and then felt a little guilty about the handkerchief I was intending to gift to Echo Girl. What kind of person was I becoming? Obviously the kind that steals dresses and doesn't eat lunch.

"Uh, yeah," I said. I guess you could add "the kind of person who lies about small things" to that list. "And you?"

"I had some take-out," she said.

"Take-out is bad for you," I said.

"Yes, I know," Jaehee replied, and then she sighed. "Look, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just get right to the point."

"Ok," I said, bracing myself for the worst. "What is it?"

"Well," she said. "I didn't tell you exactly everything last night."

A chill started to make its way up my spine. "What do you mean, Jaehee?"

"Well," she started and then cleared her throat. "Well, the pictures aren't the only thing I found…"

"Oh god…" I groaned both inwardly and outwardly. So there was more to this story...

Jaehee went on to explain to me that, when she was taking the Higanbana flowers and the card with my name scrawled in red ink to the incinerator, she hadn't been able to help herself.

"I just had to know," she said.

"Had to know what?" I said, although I think I did.

"You know," she said. "What the card said… Just in case. You know that anything relating to the company ultimately comes down to me. If anything were to happen, if there was a lawsuit or a scandal, it would be my responsibility." Jaehee ran her hands frantically through her brown hair in a way I hadn't seen before. She was visibly stressed...and kind of scaring me.

"God, Jaehee…" I said.

"I just had to get ahead of it, you see?" she said, her eyes went wide and were kind of bugging out behind her glasses. There was zero of the calm and collected Assistant Kang that I was used to. Suddenly I saw that I needed to step in and take control.

"Ok, Jaehee," I said. "Just calm down." I spied a pitcher of water and some glasses on top of one of the shorter file cabinets to my left. I got up and poured her a glass of water. When she took it, I noticed her hands were shaking.

"Ok," I said, after she'd taken a few sips. I didn't know if I had the patience to wait until she'd calmed down. "Tell me what's going on. One thing at a time. Starting with: what did the card say?"

Jaehee placed the water glass on her desk, then took her glasses off and starting rubbing her eyes. After a moment, she reached to open one of the side drawers of her desk and pulled out a what looked like a plain white card.

"Oh wow," I said, recognizing the size and shape—it would've fit perfectly inside the envelope with my name written in red ink. "You kept it?"

Jaehee tossed the card across the desk towards me within reach, and I picked it up. The card read:

  
__You are my sweet desire  
My everlasting source of fire  
Drink my potion in your wine  
And once forever, MC, be mine.  
  


"Jesus," I said, shivering with what I felt was a newfound level of creepiness. "What is this?"

"That's what I said," said Jaehee. "Then I did some poking around on the internet. It appears that it's an activation incantation for a love potion."

"A love potion?" I said, incredulous. "You can't be serious…"

Jaehee nodded gravely and then slid another piece of paper across the desk. It was a couple of pages stapled together, a print out from a website called . I scanned the pages quickly. A recipe for a love potion? Seriously?

"You'll notice that some of the ingredients, St. John's Wort and Valerian, in particular..." Jaehee started to explain. "Both of these herbs have known adverse side effects, including drowsiness, photosensitivity and nausea."

 _Which is exactly what I experienced,_ I thought. Thinking back to that night at the karaoke bar, I remembered how I felt woozy when standing up, how the flashbulbs of the cameras had affected me, how all of the sudden I had felt like throwing up.

"Jesus…" I said. It was all I could say. I was stunned. A love potion, really? From the level-headed Jumin?

It was as if Jaehee had been reading my thoughts. "Yes, I know," she said. "It seems so out of character, but I fear he is really having a break with reality."

Jaehee said she had confronted Jumin with the information last night, after she'd encountered Zen in the chatroom. At first, he pretended not to know what she was talking about, but Jaehee kept pressing with follow-up questions and additional evidence. She said Jumin had eventually gotten angry, stormed out of the room and locked himself up on the third floor with Elizabeth the 3rd.

"I know he seems distant and cold on the outside," Jaehee said. "But he's really not like that." She sighed and began to rub her temples. "You know, I think I knew it back at the time, that he had a thing for you, way back during that first week in the chat room…"

"Yeah, I remember," I said, not wanting to remember. Jumin would pop into the chat room pretty often. Honestly, at the time, I'd thought he was handsome and he definitely had the kind of intelligence that peaked my interest. Oddly, though, on the flipside, he'd both complain about being lonely, and then brag about how he had no need for emotions. Part of me kind of liked that he was "complicated", but then I remembered how well I'd done with "complicated" when I dated Kwang-jo. I'd learned my lesson, no thank you.

Then, on Day 5, when it became apparent that Zen and I were becoming a thing, Jumin's character turn passive aggressive, slightly hostile. He started getting jealous of our interactions, saying they were "cringey", and picking particularly on Zen. First he called Zen out for his drinking and smoking. Then he ridiculed him, calling him shallow, narrow-minded and, ironically, hostile. Finally he'd started in on Zen about how he should be the model for his new cat commercial, and that was when it turned into a full-on chat room brawl.

"I don't think he ever got over it," Jaehee said. "He was used to having women throw themselves at his feet, but not so used to developing feelings for someone himself." She said, sighing. "Honestly, I doubt he knew what was happening to him…and I doubt he knows now."

"God, Jaehee," I said. "He's acting like a kid pulling a girl's braids in grade school because he likes her."

"Yes," Jaehee admitted. "He is acting inappropriately, but not out of malice."

Jaehee was right. When it came down to it, I knew Jumin was a good man. It wasn't his fault that he'd had an unhappy childhood and no good role model for how to be in a good romantic relationship. The Chairman, Jumin's father, had always had a revolving door of young mistresses in his life. It's not that the Chairman's girlfriends weren't nice to Jumin, it was probably more likely that maybe some of them were too nice. I could see how that could make him feel increasingly uncomfortable. I sighed to myself. _God, poor Jumin. He deserved to be happy._

"We have to help him," I said, suddenly. Already I knew I had a battle ahead of me trying to explain all of this to Zen. I could already hear his voice inside my head.

"But babe, you realize this is the man who tried to poison you," Zen would say. "You could be dead right now."

"But I'm not," I'd reply. "Besides, they were only herbs… Jumin didn't want me dead."

"No," Zen would say, his red eyes burning with anger. "He only wanted you alive and in his bed… God!" Then he'd pause and try to shake the image he'd just had of me and Jumin out of his head. "Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse."

"Babe," I'd say, putting a hand on his shoulder. Then I'd give him a loving and earnest look. "No need to be so jealous. I love _you_. Don't you want Jumin to be happy, to be as happy as you are?"

"No," Zen would say, quickly and definitively. "I don't. I think that arrogant prick can live happily ever after with that damn cat of his, for all I care…"

"But babe," I'd plead, pulling my last card. "Jumin is RFA… He's family…"

And that was pretty much how the actual conversation went...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa... it's all happening. I feel like Jumin's motives are revealing themselves... Thanks (always) for reading, commenting, making suggestions, etc. ... it's both motivating and helps me think about the characters and where to go next... Stay tuned :-)


	18. Family Meeting

I convinced Jaehee that it was in everyone's best interest to call an RFA family meeting about Jumin. At first, she had resisted. She had wanted to "wait it out." But I was adamant and kept pressing. Number one: There was no way I could keep on lying to Zen. Number two: We were out of our league and we needed help. I wasn't leaving that office until Jaehee agreed.

"This problem is bigger than both of us," I said, reaching across the desk to touch her hand. Jaehee took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, and then her temples, for what seemed like several moments. Then, she sighed, and silently, she nodded.

We all met at RFA Headquarters, otherwise known as Rika's old apartment. It was me, Zen, Jaehee, Saeyoung and Lexi Ann, Saeran and Yoosung. We all sat around the big oblong coffee table in the living room with steaming cups of tea and patiently listened while Jaehee relayed the news. She basically recapped what she'd told me over the past twenty-four hours, everything from the photographs of me she found in Jumin's desk to the discovery of the love potion. Yoosung's innocent blue eyes kept getting wider and wider and he kept opening his mouth to speak. Twice, Saeyoung had had to kick him in the shin and give him the look that said _not now_ and _save your questions_ for later.

I'd already told Zen everything, and he was still angry, but relenting. In the end, he'd agreed that yeah, Jumin was RFA family. But he hadn't agreed to anything else. I actually couldn't tell whether he was pissed off at me or not. Right now, we were sitting on the loveseat opposite the couch touching knees and holding hands, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"...and so here's where it stands now…" Jaehee was saying. "Mr. Han has retreated to the top floor of his penthouse with Elizabeth the 3rd. He isn't taking any of my calls and he isn't answering his door for anyone."

"He's on lockdown," Lexi-Ann said. "Great."

"I always thought he'd be the type to duck and run," Zen said, hotly. "Well, nobody can hide behind their money and privilege forever…"

"Well, actually…" Yoosung started. Saeyoung gave him another swift kick in the shin. _Not a good time_ , the look said.

"What do we do?" Lexi Ann said. By the tone of her voice, I could sense that she had almost been taken in by Jumin too - but not quite. Aside from his crazy, Jumin had a lot of great attributes, and yeah, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that he had a lot of hot and sexy going on, too. Having this thought, I felt my cheeks burn, and I glanced at Zen to see if he'd noticed. Not at all.

"I say we make him answer for his actions," Zen said. "I'm sure as hell happy to be the first one that goes up there and breaks down the door."

Jaehee held up a hand. "Now Zen," she said. "Just calm down. We all understand why you're upset…"

"Damn right you do!" Zen said. "He tried to drug my girlfriend to get her into his bed… Love potion, my ass! Why the hell is everyone so eager to sugar-coat this?" Delivering this last line, he shot a hot red-eyed glance in my direction. My heart jumped.

"Zen…" Jaehee said.

"Hang on a second," Saeyoung said. Aside from his monitoring of Yoosung, Saeyoung had been quiet for most of the night so far. Now all eyes in the room turned to focus on the redheaded genius. Saeyoung, though he could be wacky, was the smartest person in the room. We all knew that he was our best option here. Saeyoung addressed Zen first.

"Listen, Zen," he said. "Totally get why you're upset, but it's not helping, dude." He leaned forward and put his clasped hands on his knees. "Try to think about this in a different way… If you could get past his money and privilege for just a hot minute you might be able to see that Jumin is a human being that's struggling… can you see that?" Saeyoung locked eyes with his friend. "Man, I know you get that, you really do, yeah?"

Zen rolled his red eyes and sighed. "Damn, Saeyoung," Zen said. "Way to hit me where it hurts."

Saeyoung smiled. "I got your number, fanboy," he said.

"Who you calling 'fanboy'?" Zen said, getting newly riled. "If anyone is anybody's fanboy than it's…"

I squeezed Zen's hand. _Please, baby._ I thought, picking up his hand and putting it to my lips.

"All I'm saying is the obvious," Saeyoung said, looking at Zen and raising both his hands up in defense. "Zen, be honest, how stoked were you when you realized MC returned your affections, that she had, in fact, chosen you?"

Zen sucked in a breath and bit his lip. "Pretty darn stoked, if I'm being honest," he said.

"And did you ever think or consider, at all, the way the rest of us might be feeling?" Saeyoung said. He looked at Lexi Ann, reached out for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Sorry, babelious, this was way before you, so please don't fash yourself…"

Lexi Ann looked at me and then down at the floor. I felt my cheeks grow hot. God, had I really held the attention of all of them? I let my eyes dart around the room and considered each of them as individuals. Saeyoung for his wit and rebelliousness. Yoosung for his earnest heart. Zen for his idealistic nature and nurturing of the growth mindset, and, oh, god, we're already getting x-rated here… We'll consider more about Zen then, later...Moving on, ok, Saeran for his, well I guess, not really Saeran - I really didn't know him all that well...

"All I'm saying," Saeyoung said. "I know what made _me_ feel better…" He cupped Lexi Ann's chin and kissed her on the lips. Then he took a grand moment to survey the room. "All I'm saying," he repeated. "...is that we give Jumin the same chance at true love."

We all looked at each other. Saeyoung had piqued our interest. What, exactly, was he getting at? Surprisingly, Yoosung was the first one to put it into words.

"We bring in another party coordinator," Yoosung said, with the confidence of someone who had studied for the test. "Someone for Jumin…"

The lightbulbs in everyone's heads went off at once.

"Damn…" Zen said.

"Oh my," Jaehee said, putting a hand to her chest and sucking in a breath.

"Well, it'd mean we'd get to have another party," Yoosung said, smiling in an "oh darn" kind of way.

Saeran, who had been sitting silently on a beanbag in the corner, spoke up for the first time. "Are we all forgetting the horribleness that went along with this whole thing? I mean…"

"But that's not an issue anymore," Saeyoung said, cutting him off. "Yeah, you were the hacker, but no offense, why can't we utilize your powers for good?" He looked at me. "MC," he said. "Was being party coordinator for the RFA a bad experience? I mean, are you sorry you got involved?"

I had to look at Zen, and he looked back at me, his red eyes earnest, watchful and waiting. I smiled and squeezed his hand. "God," I said, my eyes shining. "I honestly don't know what I would've ever done had I not accidentally downloaded that app."

Zen leaned forward, cupped my chin and pulled my lips to his. The kiss was a little too long and sweet for an audience, but I didn't mind.

"Jesus!" Saeyoung cried, half-joking, but mostly satisfied that his point had been so perfectly punctuated. "Get a room!"

Jaehee sighed loudly. "OK, Saeyoung," she said. "I think we get your point."

"Seriously," Saeyoung said. "How is this really any different from any dating app out there now, other than this one has a brilliant matchmaker at the helm?" Saeyoung's ginger eyebrows danced mischievously. "I mean, really," he looked at Saeran. "All we have to do is find the perfect woman and reel her in, right?"

"Clearly someone who's into cats…" Zen offered.

"And who knows the difference between stripes and diagonals..." Jaehee added.

Lexi Ann was sitting with her arms wrapped across her chest, clearly cross. "You make it sound like me and MC were just easy bait..."

Saeran's gold eyes flashed. "No," he said, definitively. "It wasn't that way at all, really. You were both..." His gaze flickered back and forth between the anxious faces of me and Lexi Ann. "You were both actually more like... a wish…You see, Rika, the saviour, had simply asked me to divine a way bring RFA members to Mint Eye." Saeran's beautiful eyes closed and opened like a sunset and sunrise respectively. I think I saw a hint of a smile. "It was my idea to summon the perfect girl…" His cheeks blushed for an instant. "Who would've guessed there would be more than one of you?"

"Saeran…" I started, feeling my own cheeks fill with heat. It was hard to believe that this was the same person who threatened me here, in this very apartment, just a short time ago. I sighed, thinking about Jumin and the past few months. If this is true, I thought, then there must be hope for him…

Saeran looked up at me and smiled. "I have to admit I had a hard time letting you go," he said. "I thought you were the one, destined to be mine…" his eyes flickered to Lexi Ann. "But then you showed up…"

"Oooh…" Yoosung sung, seemingly out of nowhere. "Does this mean there's someone out there for me?"

"Absolutely!" Saeran said with assuredness. "If there's someone out there for…"

"Hang on a sec, Searan," Saeyoung said, butting in. "Yoosung, you don't need any kind of 21st century tech to help you get a girl in the sack…"

"Sae-young!" Lexi Ann cried, although I could tell by the blush in her cheeks his words were conjuring some pretty memorable, suggestive images in her own mind.

Yoosung's whole face went red and his mouth started doing that whole opening and closing thing. "But… I… Uh…"

"Look," Saeyoung said, eyeing his girlfriend and correctly redirecting. "Yoosung, my man, you don't need 21st century assistance…"

"I don't?" Yoosung said, his sweet blue eyes popping in surprise.

"No," Saeyoung said. "You just need a little self-direction… I don't know, all the good books these days I think are calling it... 'self-actualization'..."

"Yeah?" Yoosung said. "You mean play LOLOL less?"

Saeyoung chuckled, and we all joined in. "For starters," he said, and then he winked at me. "...and, besides, trust me, I already got a plan in place that is going to make you THE MAN."

"You do?" Yoosung said, clearly interested. "You've got a plan to help get me a girlfriend?"

"Yup," Saeyoung replied, confidently, his gold eyes beaming.

I gave Saeyoung a questioning look and he answered me with something that looked like his sparkly emoji. I smiled to myself. Oh boy, I bet Saeyoung had another one of his crazy plans in the works. I wondered if Yoosung was going to truly benefit from it or not.

Jaehee suddenly clapped her hands. "OK, ok," she said. "I hate to break up the party, but one bachelor at a time. First things first...we must take care of Jumin." Jaehee paused to look us each in the eye, over the rim of her glasses. I was happy to note that she seemed to be getting back to her usual self. "Now, while playing matchmaker is all well and good, it is not going to solve our most immediate problem. Don't forget that Jumin will not come out of his penthouse, which I don't need to tell you is extremely bad for business." She sighed and looked at Saeyoung. "So what do we do about that, genius?"

Saeyoung shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said. "Does that involve a computer or hacking or any of the things in my talent domain? I don't think so."

Then Jaehee turned to me.

"Uh-uh," I said, waving a hand. "Leave me out of it."

Jaehee sighed and gave me a look. "But MC," she said. "It's just that I really think Jumin will talk to you..."

"Look," Zen said, leaning forward. "MC has been through enough. Let me go up there and talk to him." Everyone looked at Zen with doubtful faces. Wasn't that kind of like sending the wolf to Grandma's house?

"Aw come guys," Zen said, holding his hands up and open. "You know I can be reasonable, right? It's not like I'm going to break his legs or anything…" Out of the corner of my eye, I think I caught a sardonic look cross his face. "Although I'd like to…" I heard him say under his breath. "Babe…" I whispered back, reproachfully and squeezed his knee.

"The point is," Zen said addressing the rest of the group. "I can control myself."

Jaehee was still not convinced. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Zen," she said.

"Look," Zen said, explaining. "I know that Jumin and I… our friendship is, uh… complicated… Yes, there's this great animosity between us, but as much as I hate to admit it sometimes, there is also a strong bond there."

I saw heads began to nod around the room. Jaehee's features were starting to soften.

"Remember when I sprained my ankle?" Zen said. "Who came out to find me in my special place? I mean, do any of you - aside from MC here - even know where my special place is?"

"OK, Mr. Persuasive," Saeyoung said. "You've got me convinced. Go out there and bring Daddy home."

"Yes, I agree," Saeran said. "Zen should be the one to go and settle things with Jumin. Meanwhile, my brother and I will get phase two in motion."

"Yeah," Saeyoung smiled. "Operation Cat Lady…"

Well there's nothing like humor to dissolve the remaining tension in a room. At the mention of "Cat Lady" we all went to pieces with laughter. Even Jaehee was hooting and snorting up a storm. When we all finally calmed down, Saeyoung spoke again.

"There's one more thing," he said. "I think this is obvious, but in case it isn't, Jumin can't know that this is a set up." Saeyoung went around the room, locking eyes with each and every one of us. "So as far as you're concerned, this girl is just like any other party coordinator…"

"But wait a minute," I said, furrowing my brow. There was another aspect of this idea I hadn't considered. "What about the real hacker? Won't that mean that we have to pretend the hacker has returned? Won't Jumin have to believe we're in danger again?"

"Yeah," Yoosung said. "What about V? What do we do when he tries to talk to V?"

"He's not going to try to talk to V," Saeyoung said. "V's gone."

Yoosung didn't look convinced.

"Listen," Saeyoung said. "We got it covered. Look, if by some miracle V does show his pretty little head I'll be on him like a fly on butter." He looked at his brother. "Saeran and I already set up a cyber surveillance system just for this purpose, so don't worry."

"Well, what do we do if the real hacker returns?" Lexi Ann said. "I mean, Mint Eye is in the wind now, but Saeran can't remember any one but Rika. How would we even know if they're back if we don't know who they are?"

"Isn't that a risk we run already?" Saeyoung said. "The possibility of the hacker returning is always there, whether we use the idea of the hacker to help Jumin or not."

Suddenly I wasn't feeling super positive about this idea. If the hacker was out there and they found out what we were doing and didn't like it...

"Look," Zen said. "It's our only choice. If we don't find Jumin a girlfriend and he keeps going after mine, I'm going to kill him, end of story."

"Dramatic much, Zen?" Saeyoung said, smirking.

"Yeah," Zen said, smiling and flashing his gorgeous teeth. "I'm actor." He put a hand on my knee. "The point is, we're doing this."

\---

Outside after the meeting I was in Zen's arms saying good-bye. He was insisting on going to speak to Jumin right away. He was using the excuse that Jaehee needed Jumin back to work as soon as possible, but I knew him better than that. Zen wanted this resolved for himself sooner than later. I also wasn't so sure he wouldn't try to lay in a punch or two.

"Please baby," I said, my hands clutching the sleeves of his leather jacket. "Be careful."

"Babe," Zen said, his eyes searching mine. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hit him or anything." He paused and his brow furrowed. "Although I don't like the feeling that you're worrying for him."

"Lovely Zen," I said coupled with my sweetest smile. "I'm really only worrying for you." I put a hand on his cheek and locked his gaze in mine. "Look, I think I'm finally beginning to understand those first days in the messenger app… I guess I didn't realize that everyone was, well… "

"Some level of in love with you?" He said.

I shrugged and felt my cheeks grow warm and pink. "Well, I wouldn't put it that way..." I said.

"Ok, then," Zen said, smiling. "Some level of 'in like'... We were all some level of 'in like' with you." His arms encircled me tighter around the waist, pulling me closer. "Except me," Zen said, whispering in my ear. "I was always in love with you… from that first moment Seven verified that you were a girl…"

"What?" I said. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does," he said, his red eyes were smokey and sparkling. "I had a dream about you the night before… I knew you were coming, and when you showed up in the chat room, I knew it had to be you."

"You had a dream about me?" I said. "One of your psychic dreams?"

"Mmmm…" Zen murmured. His face was in my hair, and then on my neck, his warm lips getting lower and lower to that place I liked near my collarbone.

"Oh god..." I murmured back. My legs were getting all weak and tingly and the familiar pulsing ache of the wanting was revving up like an engine between my legs. "Will you tell me about it sometime, your dream that is?"

"Mmmm, I'll do better than that," Zen said, running one of his hands up the length of my body, under my coat, under my shirt. "I'll show you…"

Suddenly there was a very loud honking sound. When Zen and I turned to look, we saw Jaehee hanging out the window of Driver Kim's car.

"Enough already!" She called. "We don't have all night, you know… Zen, you know the later it gets, the less chance Jumin's going to let you in…"

"OK," Zen called back. "One more kiss, princess." He leaned down and put his lips to mine once more.

"Wait," I said, as he started to back away toward his motorcycle. "What I wanted to say before…"

Zen leaned in close so that he could hear me. "What is it, Princess?"

"Well, what I wanted to say was that you were always the One for me, too," I said, squeezing both of his hands in mine. "I mean, like from Day One... It wasn't a dream or anything, but I knew... it was always you." It was true. In the beginning there may have been flirtations and passing attractions with other members, but it had been clear to me from the start that Zen was the One.

Zen smiled and leaned in for another kiss when a loud honk made us both jump.

"I said enough already!" Jaehee's voice boomed from the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks (as always) for reading, commenting, reviewing... Feedback is also appreciated. Up next: Zen finally confronts Jumin, written from Zen's POV, me thinks...Stay tuned...


	19. Zen vs. Jumin

Zen stood in front of the elevator staring at the double doors and contemplating the "up" button. Jaehee had pulled some strings and made it possible for him to get past the first round of security at the gates, and then the second round of security in the lobby. Now it was up to him to make it to the 30th floor and convince Jumin to let him in the penthouse. No small order.

Zen sighed and reached deep into the inside pocket of his leather jacket to pull out the allergy pills. As far as cats were concerned, Elizabeth the 3rd was OK. She wasn't one of those types to seek out allergy sufferers and rub up all over them on purpose, but still Zen wasn't taking any chances. He popped three of them before finally pressing the elevator button. "Let's do this," he said to himself and out loud to whoever was listening. No one was.

The elevator doors opened with a smooth "swish" and Zen entered noticing the lack of mirrors and prevalence of "pleasant" music - as in of no specific taste or origin - pumping through the tiniest of speakers. When Zen pressed the button for the 30th floor, an artificial female voice spoke out of nowhere, kind of like Zen would imagine God would do, if he indeed existed. "Jumin Han's premium apartment… elevating now."

 _Jesus_ , Zen thought. The elevator was made of pure glass. On the way up, Zen watched in slow motion, as the city of Seoul revealed itself. First there was the eye level view of the buildings, then the bustling streets of cars and motorbikes, followed by the rooftop scenes that varied from garden patios to antenna patterns. Finally the elevator came to rest above it all, somewhere near the skyline. The stars were still shiny, higher and way out of the glare of the city light, and yet the city was still well within sight. It was one of the most beautiful, curated views Zen had even seen. _Of course Jumin would live here,_ Zen thought. _Fucking money_.

The elevator doors opened onto a long hallway lined with potted plants and windows also made of glass, floor to ceiling. At the end was a single double-wide wooden doorway with a middle age-era iron circular knocker and a placard with no address simply reading "Jumin Han".

Zen pulled out his phone. It was almost eight o'clock, past the dinner hour, but Zen had guessed Jumin hadn't eaten yet. Jaehee mentioned that there had been little movement in and out of the top floor of the penthouse, most likely none. Zen was banking on the fact that Jumin was hungry and so he'd stopped by the specialty grocery store to pick up some "non-commoner" foods, including a bottle of red wine that was way out of his price range and a brick of stinky cheese. _Damn,_ Zen thought to himself. _I'm getting soft_. He pushed away the thought that showing up with gifts was actually somehow making him seem weak. Who brings host gifts to the dude who slips his girlfriend love potion at a party? Zen tried to rid himself of his irritation by thinking about MC and what she said about Jumin being RFA family. It was true, where would we all be without the people who stood by us when we were making stupid mistakes?

Zen lifted the knocker, let it fall and waited for a response. When he got nothing, he knocked again. _God damnit,_ he thought. What was he going to do? Break down the doors? Now actually being here he realized how impractical that idea was.

In a move of almost desperation he called out, "Jumin?! Are you in there?"

At first there was silence, but then he heard a slight, almost indiscernible rustling sound.

"Jumin?!" Zen said. "Is that you?" He held his breath, listening. " I know you're in there…"

There was another sound that sounded like someone tripping over something left in the hallway, a carelessly discarded pair of shoes or poorly placed briefcase.

"Gah," a voice from inside the door said, a voice that Zen clearly recognized as Jumin's.

"Jumin!" Zen said, feeling his adrenaline start to rise. "I know it's you!" He paused to lick his lips and catch his breath, remembering his true reason for being here, MC, and her caution about his temper. God damn it, he thought, I have to get ahold of myself.

After a few moments of silence, he tried again. "Jumin?" he said, trying to sound kinder. "It's me, Zen." He paused, waiting a moment. Nothing.

Zen glanced down at the bag he was holding. "I have some food," he said. "Some of that rich shit you like, from WholeRealFoods… Yeah, laugh all you want...I went in there…" Zen smiled, recalling the utter unreal experience of having to decide between local, organic and premium wine, and how they all roughly seemed similar, aside from the price tag. How he'd carefully read the descriptions to try and make the best choice, and how that didn't help much at all. One wine was described as being "smokey and distinct", which didn't seem to be correlating adjectives at all. Another was described as being "esteemed and irregular", which didn't seem much different, but seemed, to Zen, to describe Jumin much better. Do you buy a wine to suit a person? Zen wondered, but he didn't know. Like most people, he left the store with a bottle of wine he knew nothing about.

After a few moments of silence, Zen used the knocker to knock again. "Hey dude," he said. "I know you're in there…" he paused to wait for a response, and when he didn't get one, went on. "Look," Zen said. "Saeyoung relayed your coordinates from your cell phone... They say you're in the there…"

Zen knew he was lying through his teeth, but he also knew his lie sounded pretty probable. "Jumin?" Zen said, glancing down at the bag in his hand. "I just want to talk… and I have food…"

There was a pause and then a voice from the other side of the door. "Don't forget that you're also a stubborn ass who would likely camp out on my doorstep for weeks on end if I didn't agree to see you..."

Zen recognized Jumin's voice and smirked. He had a point. Zen knew he would stand out here forever if he had to. He was going to get behind the madness of this love potion business and Jumin's "crush" on MC.

"So what kind of food do you have..." Jumin said through the closed door. "...exactly?"

 _Ah, so he is interested,_ Zen thought, feeling satisfied with himself and superior, like he'd already gained the upper hand.

"Uh," Zen said, reaching down inside the bag. "Uh, that haughty stuff you like… Some cheese? A bottle of wine?" Zen frowned. He really didn't know what he had at all beyond those most basic of terms.

He heard movement behind the door and then a click, and then another click releasing two locks. Then the door opened.

Jumin looked like shit. He was wearing a rumpled pinstriped shirt open at the neck and no tie. His hair was unkempt and he hadn't shaved. Zen had to admit, regretfully to himself, that Jumin looked kind of handsome with what was probably a three-day stubble.

"Hey, man," Zen said, extending the arm with the bag. "I brought you some stuff."

"What, is this some sort of peace offering?" Jumin said, looking cross.

"Hardly," Zen spat back hotly. He took at step forward into the penthouse before Jumin could change his mind and shut the door. "Dude," he said. "We need to talk."

"About?" Jumin said, using his business voice.

Zen spun around with a look of complete surprise on his face. "Uh-uh," Zen said. "You _do not_ get to pretend that nothing happened." He paused feeling his blood begin to boil. "The others may be willing to look past this pretty quickly, but I need answers...and a few reassurances from you about what you will and will not do in the future in regard to my girlfriend."

Jumin had walked into the living room, hardly listening, set the bag on the coffee table and began pulling out its contents. He sniffed the cheese. "Ah," he said, appreciatively. "A camembert... " He stuck his face back in the bag. "Did you get any red pepper jam to go with it?"

Zen stared at him with a look of disbelief on his face. "Are you even being serious right now?" Zen said. "Did you just hear what I said?"

Jumin looked up maintaining his usual business-like expression. "Clearly you have some issue you'd like to discuss…" Jumin started.

"You can say that again," Zen said, angrily. "Damn straight… and I really don't like you putting on this farce, pretending like there's nothing going on."

Zen watched in awe as Jumin walked out of the room while he was talking. "Hey, trust fund," he called. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Jumin came back into the room a minute later carrying some items on a tray, a couple of plates, wine glasses and what looked to Zen like a baby's knife because it was small and had a round edge. Jumin saw him looking it at.

"It's a cheese knife," Jumin said with a tone that somehow implied "you dumbass" without actually saying the words. "You use it to spread the cheese." With that, he picked it up and demonstrated by spreading some of the creamy cheese on a cracker. Then he handed to Zen.

Zen waved it away. "No way I'm touching that crap, man," he said, sniffing the air. "God, that stinks!" He wrinkled his nose. "I can't believe you eat that shit."

"This 'shit'," Jumin said. "Is imported from the south of France…" he raised his eyebrows. "...and I can't believe you paid for it… How could you afford this?"

Zen was about to say that he couldn't when Elizabeth the 3rd appeared from around the corner. "Oh, there she is," Jumin cooed, and then to Zen's surprise, he bent down and offered the cracker to her. Elizabeth the 3rd sniffed it appreciatively and then began to lap away at the cheese.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Zen said, astonished.

"Elizabeth the 3rd has taste, you see," Jumin said, smiling devilishly. He gestured to the wine. "You want some wine?"

"You know I don't drink that stuff," Zen said, irritated. Here he was trying to be nice and Jumin was just rubbing his face in it.

Jumin's face lit up for an instant. "Ah," he said. "That's right… You know I think I have a can of beer in the ice box…" Before Zen could speak, Jumin disappeared around the corner again. A moment later he came back holding a can of Kass beer. Jumin extended it to Zen in offering.

 _What the hell?_ Zen thought. It was his favorite beer, after all and goddamn, he needed a drink right now, and so he took it. "Thanks," he said.

When he pulled back the tab, though, it barely fizzed. Zen made a face.

"Well, it has been in there quite a while," Jumin said. "So I can't speak to its freshness."

Did beer ever go bad? Zen didn't know. He didn't think so. He took a sip. "Ugh," he said, practically spitting it out. "You weren't kidding. This is awful." He set the can down on the coffee table and slunk down in a chair.

"Can we get back to the point?" Zen said, feeling even more frustrated now.

"The point?" Jumin said, still playing coy. He sat down in the chair opposite of Zen and leaned back casually, sipping his wine.

"Yeah, you arrogant prick," Zen said, leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees. His red eyes narrowed. "The reason I'm here… Can we talk about that?"

Jumin took another slow sip of his wine, but didn't say anything. Zen thought he saw something crack behind the hard exterior of his business face, and to his surprise he felt himself all of the sudden feeling a little sorry for him. Not sorry enough, though.

"Well, since you won't say it," Zen said, narrowing his eyes even further. "I will…"

Jumin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, crossing one leg over the other.

"Let's talk about MC and the little crush you seem to have on her," Zen said. "Let's talk about the creepy photos, the ill wish and the love potion…" Saying it out loud Zen was hit again with the sheer magnitude of it all. You would have to be really twisted to even consider these things as ideas. You'd have to be even more twisted to actually go out and pull them off.

Zen looked at Jumin, and he could tell that he was thinking something similar. Zen thought, for an instant, he could see the slow blush of shame creep across the business man's face. He was feeling the heat of shame and regret, all right. Whether or not he was going to cop to it was a different story. Zen caught himself again feeling sorry for Jumin. What a burden it must be to have to carry such a stoic ego around all the time. He literally could never be sorry. He literally couldn't never be wrong. He simply just didn't know how.

Jumin wasn't looking at Zen anymore. He was now staring down at the floor with maybe the saddest face Zen had ever seen. It occurred to Zen that he had actually never seen Jumin looking so dejected. In fact, Zen had never even seen Jumin looking somewhat dejected. It was like he'd lost hold of that ego for moment, like it had slipped down to reveal the reality of who he really was coupled with his hard exterior shell. There they were, the two sides of Jumin's selves, laid bare, and Zen could see they were completely in conflict with each other. _Damn,_ Zen thought, _he looks so… broken_.

Zen sighed as he felt his heart begin to swell and his anger waver a bit. "Look, dude," Zen said. "We know you didn't mean to do it…" Then as soon as he said, he stopped himself. He ran both his hands through his silver hair in frustration. What was he saying? Was he really just letting Jumin off the hook right now? Damn. No he couldn't do that. Even if it was hard, he had come here to speak his truth, and, damn it all, he would.

"Nah," Zen said, shaking his head. "Actually, scratch that... _They_ think you didn't mean to do it… But, see, I know that you did… You damn well meant to do it, just as sure as you're wishing it had worked right now."

Jumin sighed and took a sip of wine. He lifted his gray eyes to meet Zen's gaze and Zen could almost hear him say "touché". _Yeah,_ Zen thought, _I knew it, dickhead. I got your number._ Zen went on.

"The thing is, yeah I know about you, I know about how much of a child of Satan you can be sometimes… and, yeah, I'm fucking angry about what you did," Zen said, and he paused to really think about what he was going to say next. It was important. "But I also fucking love you, man," Zen said, feeling tears start to well up in his eyes. He fought them back. He so didn't need to appear weak right now. "I mean, how is that even possible?"

Actually, maybe now Zen did see how that was possible, after seeing those two sides of Jumin. He could totally see how two thoughts, two feelings, two different beliefs could live together side-by-side with each other. It wasn't neat. It wasn't pretty. But it was true, and it was life.

"When the shit was going down for me, that whole Echo Girl fiasco scandal thing…" Zen said, pausing to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment not wanting to remember. "Out of everyone, you were the one...I mean, aside from MC, that is… Who was really there for me… You were the one to say the things that gave me the courage to come back and go on… You were the one to make me feel better." Zen paused again, this time to look Jumin carefully in the face. "Do you remember what it was that you said to me?"

Jumin shook his head slowly, barely perceptible behind the glass of wine lifted to his lips.

"You told me that no matter how stupid a mistake someone makes, you never abandon family..." Zen said, his eyes serious and glazed with tears. "And damn it all to hell if that isn't one of the truest things I've ever heard…" Zen paused to lick his lips and take a breath. "Well, Jumin, like it or not, you're family to me, to MC, to all of us. Our organization wouldn't be the same without you in it."

That said, Zen sat back in his chair. He imagined, in his mind's eye, Jumin as a changed person, reformed. Maybe he'd be a thoughtful, caring and jovial Jumin, someone who was always helpful and ready with a kind word to say. Then at the same moment he tried to picture it, the picture began to fall apart, and Zen began to laugh. God, he thought, the world was so stupid and beautiful sometimes.

"In fact..." Zen said with a feeling of realization. "...and I can't believe I'm saying this… But the RFA wouldn't be the same without your asshole self, because your asshole self is what makes you _you_ , and that's also important…" Zen paused, looking Jumin purposely in the eye and half way smiling. "How about that? We need each other, you arrogant dick."

Zen thought he saw Jumin slightly smile and nod in the affirmative, but he wasn't sure. Zen thoughts suddenly turned to MC and he remembered the look on her face when she first saw that picture on the cover of _Enquire_.

"But that doesn't mean you're off the hook," Zen said, getting serious again. "Not with me, anyway." Zen put his hands together thinking about what he was going to say next while Jumin crossed and uncrossed his legs, and then took another sip of his wine.

"So, here's the thing," Zen said, leaning forward. "Although I'm a little less angry than I was when I got here, I still don't forgive you..." Zen paused to hold up a finger. "I'll probably never forgive you, exactly, but…I think I am willing to let it go… on one condition…" Zen paused again for emphasis. He could tell now that Jumin was paying attention, watching with interest, but trying not to look as if he was.

"My one condition is that _you_ have to let it go," Zen said, narrowing his red eyes for effect. "You have to drop this thing with MC..." Zen paused, holding Jumin's gaze, just to show how damn serious he was. "Yeah, dude, you have to drop it, like now."

Zen leaned back in the chair and sat there with his hands on his knees, silent and unwilling to break his red eyes from Jumin's gray ones. Jumin stared back for what seemed to Zen like ages. Finally, Jumin sighed, looked away and then he spoke. Two words only.

“Fair enough,” he said, and then he took a long sip of his wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: ...damn, you go, Zen! Man, I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write! Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, feedback, etc. Putting the question out there to you all: The new party coordinator is probably going to make an appearance soon... what attributes do we think are a good match for Jumin?


	20. Two Weeks Later...

Two weeks had gone by since Zen and Jumin met for their little chat, and Jaehee was very pleased when Jumin returned to work the next day.

"Thank god," she said. "One more day without Mr. Han at the office and I'm sure we would have at least lost the new tea account, if not more." She turned to me, clasping both of my hands. "Oh MC," she said, tears of relief brimming behind her glasses. "I am so very grateful."

"Don't thank me," I said. "Thank Zen. He did all the work."

Indeed, it was Zen who'd done all the heavy lifting, and unlike Jaehee, I think Zen was feeling a little mixed about how "successful" it all had been. Even though I think he knew he'd done the right thing by holding his temper and leaving room for Jumin to save face, I think he was also having some regrets.

"I mean, man," Zen told me later with fire in his eyes. "I really did want to kick his arrogant ass, really I did… that fucker deserved it… I mean, think of everything he put you through!" He clenched a fist with anger, but then sighed and put his head in his hands. "But I just couldn't… I mean, damn, the look on his face… god, even if he was sorry… which I'm still not even sure he was, damn! Would he even be able to say it?" Zen shook his head, looking completely conflicted. "That poor guy… His dad is a prick… He was brought up to be a prick… All he knows is prick… he doesn't know any other way."

I had to admit I couldn't imagine Jumin saying the words "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" or anything of the sort. Even if he felt that way inside, which I liked to think that he did, he didn't have the words or the means to express his feelings.

"I mean, can you believe that dude's in Mensa?" Zen said, rolling his eyes. "Unbelievable! Dude gets recognized for having one of the best minds in the world, and yet he has the emotional IQ of a donkey."

I put my hand on Zen's knee sympathetically and drew little circles with my finger. "He's lucky to have you as a friend," I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

"God, don't I know it, damn!" Zen said, angrily.

With Jumin back at work and Jaehee happy, things were going pretty smoothly for me, I had to admit. So far, Jumin had kept his word to Zen. Ever since they had their little "talk" Jumin pretty much ignored me. No more impromptu sit-downs in his office. No more creepy looks. He even tended to avoid me in the chat room, unless, of course, Mi-Sun was there.

Mi-Sun was the newly recruited party coordinator. Saeyoung and Saeran had spent the better part of the first week following the family meeting identifying the perfect candidate, the perfect match for Jumin. Just short of a week ago, we were all gathered at RFA headquarters, everyone except Jumin of course, logged into the chat room and already making small talk while waiting for Mi-Sun to appear.

"She's got cats all over her Fakebook profile," Saeyoung said.

"And she's three times as likely to click on a picture of a Persian cat than any other cat," Sarean piped in.

"That's a good sign," Jaehee said, nodding appreciatively.

"She also runs her own business," Saeyoung said. "Something crafty…"

"...and likely to pair well with cat projects!" Sarean added.

"Well, everything's well sorted, then," I said, rolling my eyes. Hello to more cat commercials in my future...

"I don't know about the potential for more cat projects," Jaehee said, frowning. "...but Jumin will appreciate a woman with a head for business."

"Yeah, but is she cute?" Zen asked.

"God, is that all you ever think about?" Yoosung said. "Like your essential question?" We all looked at him in surprise.

"Wow, Yoosung," Zen said, voicing what we were all thinking. "That was so bold and out of character."

"Well somebody's gotta represent Jumin when he's not here," Yoosung said. "Otherwise you might just go to your head."

"Wow, Yoosung," Zen said. "You ever think that maybe I don't need to be taken down a notch or two in every conversation?"

"He's just getting uppity," Saeyoung said with a smirk that said he knew something was up that we didn't know. I shot Saeyoung a sidelong glance and narrowed my eyes. What the heck was he up to?

"Yeah, why is that, Saeyoung?" I said, deciding to challenge the redhead. I needed to know what was going on.

Saeyoung shot a glance at Yoosung. "Go on, Mr. Macho Mayhem, why don't you tell them?"

Yoosung's cheeks colored a bit at the comment and he looked down at the floor. "Well," he said. "I really don't know whether to be mad or not … I was at first, but then I had a call back…"

"A call back?!" Zen nearly popped out of his seat and through the ceiling. His response was incredulous disbelief. "You…?!"

This response clearly irritated Yoosung, which was maybe a first in my book… Yoosung irritated?

"Yeah, Zen," he said, wryly. "I had a call back."

"Well, don't keep us waiting," Zen said. I thought I detected a note of jealousy or maybe insecurity in his voice, or maybe both, I wasn't sure. "Call back for what?"

Yoosung colored in the cheeks again and smiled. " _Queer Guy With An Eye_ ," Yoosung said, a little smuggly. "They say I'm the perfect candidate."

Zen threw his hands in the air, clearly relieved. "Damn!" he said. "Ok, that makes sense…"

I felt the a-ha moment creep over me. Saeyoung at the family meeting had said something about Yoosung not needing tech to help him get a girlfriend. Maybe he didn't need tech, but he needed a team of queer guys with taste who could teach him everything he needed to know in order to be a top notch lady killer. Of course, I thought, an introvert addicted to LOLOL with no self-confidence whatsoever transformed - Yoosung was the perfect candidate.

"Way to go, Yoosung," I said, giving the appreciative "thumb's up".

Yoosung's face brightened immediately. "You really think so, MC?" he said. "Because part of me just doesn't know…"

I reached across the coffee table and grasped his hand, even though I know even this level of touching would set Zen off into the jealousy zone. I didn't care. He needed to learn, the hard way if necessary, that I was his and only his, even if I had guy friends. "I think you should totally go for it, Yoosung," I said assuredly.

Yoosung blinked and glanced sideways at Saeyoung, who nodded. Now what's going on? I thought.

"Well, since you feel that way," Yoosung started, his green eyes darting to Zen and then back to me. "The production company says I can have someone there… You know, on hand for moral support… It was going to be Saeyoung, but..."

_Uh-oh,_ I thought, glancing up at Zen. I knew what was coming and I already knew I was going to say "yes", so I just jumped in there.

"Yes, I'll do it," I said, interrupting. In a series of about seven seconds, Zen gave me a look like "Babe?!" and I gave him a look like "What?!" and he gave me a look like "But…" and I gave him a look like "No need to be so possessive...I love you, my lovely Zen, and I'm going to show you how much later…" and so it was settled. I was going to be Yoosung's moral support at _Queer Guy With An Eye_ shooting.

"You will?" Yoosung said, pretty much unaware of this whole exchange.

"Yeah," I said, reaching over to squeeze Zen's knee. "I'm here for you, bud."

Jaehee sighed and put her hands in her lap. "Ok, I'm glad that's settled," she said. "Now can we get back to the matter at hand, as in why we're all here in the first place?"

We all nodded. We had the proper candidate selected to be the next RFA party coordinator, and hopefully the perfect girl for Jumin, and we were ready to put our plan into action. So, the mysterious Unknown aka a reluctant Sarean, finally led an unbeknownst Mi-Sun to another apartment, a nice one bedroom that Saeyoung had purchased in the business district, which would allow us to keep using Rika's old apartment as RFA headquarters.

"This is bringing back really bad memories," Saeran said as he typed out the code to initiate the sequence and lines of green code flooded the screen.

"Just remember it's for a really good cause, brother," Saeyoung said.

"Yeah," Zen said. "Maybe we'll make a human being out of Jumin yet."

"That's the spirit!" Saeyoung chortled. "I can tell you're still not bitter at all or anything. Good for you, Zen."

"Try to look on the bright side, Zen," Lexi-Ann said. "If this works, you'll get MC all to yourself, for good."

"I already get MC all to myself," Zen said, squeezing a protective arm around my shoulder. "She's mine whether Jumin gets his head on straight or not… Isn't that right, baby?"

I nodded my head and squeezed his knee. There was something about the fire in his voice and the look in his eyes that made me want to propel him into the bedroom immediately, but I bit my lower lip instead. When Zen saw me do this, his eyebrows went up and he leaned in close to whisper in my ear.

"Is that what I think it is, Princess?" he breathed, his breath hot on my neck. Zen had pointed out just recently that me biting my lower lip was a tell, and that whenever I did it he knew I was feeling horny. Now he was using this knowledge to play with me.

"Want to meet me in the kitchen?" he whispered, letting his hand drop from my shoulder to my waist. I closed my eyes and took in a slow breath.

"Cut it out," I whispered back, smiling.

"Cut what out?" he whispered back. His hand had found its way underneath my shirt and was lightly stroking the bare skin of my waist.

"What's going on over there?" Jaehee barked over the rim of her glasses. Zen quickly yanked his hand back from underneath my shirt and smiled innocently.

"Whatever do you mean, Jaehee?" Zen said, and Saeyoung snickered.

"There are other people here, you know," Jaehee said.

Yoosung perked up, pulling his head out of his phone. "What'd I miss?"

"Just a little Zen on MC PDA action," Saeyoung said, dryly.

Yoosung looked confused. "PD... what?"

"Oh, nevermind!" Jaehee said, frustrated. "Let's just get back to work… Oh, there she is…"

And so Mi-Sun entered the chat room and Yoosung started talking about failing his midterms. I looked up and caught eyes briefly with Lexi-Ann. So here we go again.  


\---

Two weeks had also passed since my debut as "Zen's Lush Girlfriend" in the magazine _Enquire_. In the beginning there had been a lot of phone calls and a few packs of journalists camped out outside Zen's apartment. There had been a lot of "no comment" and, finally, just turning off of the cell phone. There had also been a lot of black hoodies and backdoor fence jumping to avoid the cameras… and, a lot to be honest... a lot of tears.

Case in point: When I finally insisted on reading the article, Zen was there to hold my hand. Reading the part about Zen and Echo Girl being "obviously in love" stung and made the tips of my ears turn red, but when I got to the part about me dropping out of school (which was true) and me being unstable (probably also true, but not due to alcohol or substance abuse), I felt true rage. Hot anger felt like it was burning inside my body, pouring out my ears and eyes like molten lava. There was all this heat, but yet my actual blood ran cold. My hands were like ice and I literally couldn't speak. When Zen saw this, he squeezed my hand.

"Babe, you OK?" he said. When I didn't even answer or even look at him and just continued to stare ahead, he got down on his hands and knees in front of me and cupped my face. "Babe," he said. "I'm here, yeah?" Then he wrapped his long arms around me, pulled me close and began to rock me gently. "I'm here," he said, stroking my hair. "I'll always be here."

I let him whisper the words over and over again and continue to rock me for what seemed like hours, but was probably more like minutes. Then, I don't know what happened. I just remember not wanting to feel angry anymore. I didn't want to feel hurt. In fact, I very much wanted to feel something else, something entirely opposite...

Impulsively, I lifted my head off of Zen's shoulder, pulled his face toward mine and started kissing him. I didn't even start slow, I inhaled him. The first kiss was so intense I felt Zen's body freeze in surprise and then relax. I let my hands go rogue, roving and grasping his body everywhere, pulling and tugging at fabric, touching skin.

"MC," he moaned when I shoved my hand down the front of his pants and wrapped my fingers around his hardness.

"Yeah?" I said in a throaty voice. "You like that?" He nodded. I knew I was being greedy with him, but I didn't care. I gave him a few quick strokes before I removed my hand and stood up.

"Get up," I said, pointing at the couch. "Sit."

He looked a little surprised, but his red eyes quickly turned devilish and he complied.

"Wait," I said, noticing it was all wrong and pulling him up by the wrists. "No, stand up…" I said, impatiently. When Zen was standing, I went to work on his belt buckle. Soon I had his pants and boxer shorts down around his ankles. Not even bothering to wriggle them off, I pushed him down so he was sitting on the couch again.

"Wow, MC, you're…" Zen said.

I put a finger to my lips. "Shhh…"

Zen didn't really seem to be objecting. His cock was standing straight up thick and at attention. Like every part of Zen, this part was perfect, too. I let myself stare openly at it as I wriggled out of my own jeans and underwear. Not bothering with either of our shirts, I straddled him, one knee on either side.

"Wait, uh…" Zen said, touching my chest lightly. "Aren't you forgetting something, speed racer?" He smiled, one eyebrow arching wickedly.

"Um," I said, suddenly remembering the condom. "Oh yeah…" I started looking wildly around the room.

"There's one in my wallet," Zen said. "In my pants…"

I got up and started digging through the accordion of fabric bunched around Zen's feet until I pulled out his wallet. When I found what I was looking for, I held it up in triumph.

"Good girl," he said, leaning in for a long kiss. "Now, can you put it on that way I like?"

It was my turn to arch an eyebrow and smile as I unwrapped the package. Carefully, I unrolled the condom to make room at the tip and put in my mouth, cradling it into "O" with my lips.

"Oh damn," Zen said, his eyes lusty and red.

Locking eyes with his, I leaned over and positioned the open side of the condom on tip of his dick. Using my tongue as an anchor to hold the plastic in place, I rolled it down the hard shaft of his penis with my lips expertly while holding up both my hands like "look honey, no hands!"

I heard Zen moan and then pull me up fast to my feet. "Hurry," he whispered, low and throaty.

Quickly I complied, straddling him and starting to ride. Instinctively, I braced myself by holding onto the back of the couch. We moved together rapidly and in succession, the tension building. Suddenly, and maybe much too soon, I felt his muscles tense and his hands tighten on my ass.

"Oh god, oh no… oh, MC," he whispered and then he let loose.

I smiled, kind of proud of myself, kind of still horny.

"Oh babe," he said, as I rolled off. "I'm sorry… I couldn't…"

I smiled and leaned forward, giving him a long kiss. "Don't ever be sorry," I said, my brown eyes twinkling as I handed him a towel to clean up.

"Besides," I said playfully. "I know you'll be ready again in a minute."

Sometime later, after two, maybe three times more, he encircled me with both arms.

"You know what?" Zen said. "I kind of like how your answer to everything is sex..."

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders like "oh well".

Zen smiled and brushed a lock of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. "Now, that's a worldview I can get behind."

\--- 

  
Two weeks also meant that the production for the second season of _More Than Friends_ was finally getting underway. So far, Zen had had three rehearsals and one day on the set with Echo Girl.  


"So how it'd go?" I said, after about the third rehearsal. 

Zen shrugged. "So far she seems to be behaving herself," he said. 

_She better be,_ I thought. After the night I'd had my big cry/sex meltdown with Zen, I made up my mind to send Echo Girl the yellow gingham handkerchief I'd had made from that god awful dress. I put it into the mail the next day. 

A few days later, Echo Girl came storming into C&R Headquarters, bypassing Mrs. C the receptionist and making a beeline for my desk. She was waving the handkerchief in her hand like a flag, and the look on her face told me it wasn't a flag of truce. 

"What the fuck is this?" she said, when she got within shouting range. Everyone in the office stopped what they were doing and turned to stare. When she got close enough, she threw the square piece of material on my desk and snarled. "Is this you?" she said. "Did you send me this?" 

I tried my best to put on a blank, innocent expression, but a smile was tugging at my lip. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jaehee approaching at top speed, so I shrugged. 

"Well, who the hell do you think you are?" Echo Girl hissed. 

I leaned forward. From what I could tell I had maybe thirty or forty seconds at most before Jaehee reached my desk, so I took my shot. 

"I'm Zen's _real_ girlfriend," I said, sticking out my hand in a nice-to-meet-you sort of way. Echo Girl glanced down at my hand and made a face. 

" _Real_ funny," she said, turning her snub nose at my proffered hand. 

"And also _real_ true," I shot back. "Kyungju, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you better stay the hell away from my boyfriend." 

Echo Girl stiffened at the sound of her given name and her crimson mouth dropped. "Are you threatening me, intern?" she said, her voice was getting a little shrill. 

"I'm not an intern," I said. "I'm assistant to the assistant of the CEO…" I closed my mouth after that, realizing as I said the words, that "intern" maybe sounded better. 

"Well then, assistant-to-the-assistant," she said, putting a hand on my desk and leaning her face so close our nose almost touched. "Let me give you some advice…" 

I didn't let her get any further than that. There was something about her being in my face, the fact that I could smell what she'd had for lunch. The fact that I felt her spittle on my nose and cheeks. The fact that she just had in a very real way invaded my space. My body took over and my legs shot up. 

"Back the fuck up!" I shouted. 

Echo Girl jumped back, literally I think, out of her skin. 

Jaehee was suddenly between us.<

"What's going on here?" she demanded. "Kyungju, what are you doing here?" 

"Don't call me that!" Echo Girl hissed at Jaehee's use of her given name. She pointed to the handkerchief on my desk. "This…" she said, sputtering. I marvelled at the fact that her whole face, all her features had become unhinged. It was like she got turned inside out right before my eyes and I could see just how ugly she truly was. 

"Your intern..." she started. 

"Assistant," Jaehee corrected. 

"Whatever," Echo Girl said. "She gifted me this handkerchief…" She said "she" like she was spitting venom. 

Jaehee turned to me with a look of true surprise, an I-can't-believe-good-girl-MC has gone bad expression on her face. Well, believe it, I thought. 

"MC," Jaehee said. "Is this true?" 

I decided not to try to deny it. "I might have," I said, smiling. "As a token of good luck for her new production…" 

Jaehee frowned. Everybody knows that gifting a handkerchief as a gift isn't a token of good luck. It's a token of ill will. 

"MC…" Jaehee said, using the voice of a disappointed parent. 

"Make her take it back," Echo Girl demanded, like a wounded sibling. 

I crossed my arms across my chest with defiance. "I will not," I said. 

By now Echo Girl and I were staring each other down hardcore. Her blue eyes were like blue fire. My hands were balled into fists. I'm definitely not the fighting type, but I felt ready to pounce. Everyone in the office had also come to a standstill. It was suddenly so quiet I could almost hear the wheels turning in Jaehee's head, repeating "What do I do? What do I do?" 

Suddenly there was a new voice to my left. "What do we have here?" the voice said. With a little bit of calibrating, I realized it was Jumin's. When I turned, I sae Jumin standing there in a crisp pinstriped suit, meticulously straightening one cuff. 

It was Jaehee's turn to sputter. "Oh, uh, Mr. Han," she said. "Uh, well…" 

Echo Girl launched right in with her usual display of expectation and privilege. "Jumin, I feel like I must inform you that your intern…" 

"You may refer to me as Mr. Han," Jumin said, evenly and in his most business monotone. "And Ms. MC is not an intern. She is Assistant Kang's assistant." 

God, I wished everyone would stop saying that. When this was over, I'd have to ask for a promotion based on the fact that my title sounded so stupid. 

Echo Girl's face turned beet red. "I'll damn-well call you Jumin if I want to," she snarled. 

Jumin lifted his eyebrows calmly and with surprise. "Oh?" Jumin said and then he frowned. "That's unfortunate, because I believe it's a violation of your contract." He looked at Jaehee. "Isn't that right, Assistant Kang?" 

Jaehee nodded vehemently. "Yes, Mr. Han, section 4, item 12…" she started. 

Jumin held up a hand. "Not necessary, Assistant Kang," he said and then he turned to me. "Well, Ms. MC, it seems like you may be the only other person here with a head still on her shoulders so would you please be so kind to tell me what's going on?" 

My heart was beating despite myself. Jumin could really have a powerful effect on a room when he wanted to. Frantically, I searched my throat for my voice. 

"Um, well," I started and then swallowed, forcing myself to look at his smoky gray eyes. "Mr. Han, sir," I started again. As I said this, I noticed a vein in his neck grow tight and that he twitched slightly when I called him Mr. Han, but he didn't correct me. "I gifted this handkerchief to Echo Girl, sir, and she is a little, well, uh, pissed." 

Echo Girl straightened herself up a bit, feeling vindicated that I'd outed myself as being the one in the wrong. I thought I saw a small appreciative smile play at the corners of Jumin's lips, but he held fast to that cold exterior. 

"I see," Jumin said, picking up the handkerchief and examining the fabric. "Why, isn't this the same material as…?"

"Yes, sir," I said, making the decision to fess up completely. "I stole it, sir… from the costume department." 

umin's dark eyebrows raised in surprise again, possibly at the boldness about what I was willing to admit I'd done. "You defiled this dress?" he said. Yes, the small smile was definitely there. He was proud of me, proud of me for sticking up for myself. 

I nodded and forced myself to meet his eyes again. "I'm sorry, sir," I said, kind of meaning it. I know how much he liked that dress, even if the rest of us hated it. I was also feeling a little unpredictably proud of the fact that Jumin found favor with me. Echo Girl was having an altogether different experience. 

"You're saying sorry to him?" Echo Girl said in disbelief. At this point, she was really on the verge of losing her shit. "Aren't I the victim here?" 

Jumin sighed, not at all disguising his boredom. "Assistant Kang," he said. 

"Yes, Mr. Han?" Jaehee said, poised with pen to paper, ready for instructions. 

"Please escort Echo Girl out," Jumin said, but then he turned to her dangling the handkerchief in front of her face. 

"Echo Girl," Jumin said. "This is a handkerchief. You blow your nose with it, that is all. Let me demonstrate…" 

We all watched in fascination with our mouths open as Jumin blew his nose into that yellow gingham handkerchief and then handed it to Echo Girl. 

Oh!" Echo Girl said, turning away, disgusted. "Well, I never…" 

I smiled secretly to myself as Echo Girl turned on a heel and stormed out of the building, leaving the three of us standing there. 

"Assistant Kang?" Jumin said, the soiled handkerchief still dangling from his hand. He gave it a slight shake and held it out to Jaehee. "Would you please…?  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy week at work, and more to come. I prefer to update bi-weekly, but looks like it's going to be weekly, at best, for now... Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, feedback, etc.


	21. Blast From The Past...

Somehow, what came to be known as the Echo Girl handkerchief video went viral. By the middle of the afternoon it was all over the internet. I smiled, inwardly praising Saeyoung for his mad hacking skills. Over and over, I replayed the part where Jumin hands Echo Girl that god awful yellow handkerchief made from that god awful gingham dress we made her wear for the C&R International cat commercial. My absolute favorite moment was the sound of everyone laughing, followed by Echo Girl spinning on her heel and storming out saying "Well, I never..." like some kind of 19th century prude. Best of all, the handkerchief video had inspired a whole new round of Echo Girl-in-the-yellow-dress memes that were popping up all over the internet.

"How in the world did Saeyoung even get that footage?" Zen asked later that afternoon when he called. He was already home - C&R Productions had to cancel that afternoon's scheduled filming of More Than Friends because Echo Girl had "something she needed to take care of."

"I have no idea," I said, hitting play on the video again. I was enjoying this way, way too much. I was feeling especially vindictive because Sarean had discovered a link between Echo Girl's father's parent company and _Enquire_ magazine.

"It's clear Echo Girl's father was behind the whole thing," Sarean said. "Why else would they suddenly publish an article about you?"

I tried not to feel hurt by his comment, but I was, sort of...

Clearly I had someone on the inside to thank at C&R International for filming the whole Echo Girl escapade this morning without anyone noticing, and at great risk to their job, too. It's well known that capturing any kind of video or audio in the office was a direct violation of C&R International's non-disclosure agreement. Jaehee was up in arms. She'd already sent out a memo asking the offending party to turn themselves in, as well as for any information leading to the identification of said offender. It was getting pretty late in the work day, though, and no one had yet come forward, and we were beginning to doubt they would.

"This is most certainly NOT good publicity for the company," Jaehee said, glaring at me over her glasses. "What were you thinking, sending Echo Girl a handkerchief like that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I had to do something," I said.

"Did you, though?" Jaehee said. "I thought Echo Girl had been 'behaving herself' - those are Zen's words - don't you believe him?"

I sighed. "Of course I believe him," I said.

"That's not going to stop you from being jealous, though, is it?" she said.

Jaehee had a point. I didn't like to admit it, and I sure as hell wasn't proud of it, but yeah, I was still jealous of Echo Girl. Jaehee turned to look at me over her glasses.

"You're really going to have to learn to deal with that, you know," she said. "By making the choice to date an actor, this is the kind of the situation you signed up for. Echo Girl or no Echo Girl, there are going to be co-stars. You're going to have to learn to deal with it."

Again, Jaehee had a point, and I damn well knew it already. "I know, I know…" I said, sighing.

"MC," Jaehee said. "I know you're better than this."

Am I though? I thought to myself. I wasn't sure I was. Jaehee was right about one thing. I had to get my head in a better place and get my jealousy in check. The plan Saeyoung and I came up with involved us letting Echo Girl hang her own reputation, not for me to go around provoking her. If this thing was going to work out as planned, I needed to keep my image clean.

In light of my new commitment to a better me, I decided to go to yoga after work. As soon as I was back on my mat, I wondered what had been keeping me away so long. For ninety minutes, I didn't think about anything other than breathing and moving my body. I let myself get totally taken in by the soothing sound of my instructor's voice as she urged me to stretch my leg in one direction, focus on my hip crease here, press the my big toe into the mat, etc. By the end of the class my mind felt totally empty. Maybe I even felt at peace.

In the midst of a yoga daze, I stumbled out onto to sidewalk - and maybe that's why I thought I was seeing things at first. Leaning up against a lamppost outside the studio was a familiar face I hadn't seen in quite some time. His tall lanky frame and moppy sandy brown head was bent over his phone, but he looked up when he saw me and broke into a wide lopsided grin. It was my ex-boyfriend, Kwang-jo.

"Heya, kid," he said. That's right, I remembered, he always used to always call me "kid". The small hairs on the back of my head stood up and bristled, and my heart jumped. I thought of just pushing past him and disappearing into the crowd without a word, but it was too late. He'd already walked forward and enveloped me into a long embrace, like we were old friends.

"What the fuck, Kwang-jo?" I said, wriggling my way out of his long arms. I noticed he still wore the same tattered mauve corduroy jacket and cheap mirrored sunglasses. Kwang-jo always insisted the sunglasses and jacket were an essential part of his "look". I remembered with a tug of sadness the day we'd found that jacket at a thrift store. That was a good day.

"Aren't you glad to see me, kid?" Kwang-jo said. I gave him a look that said you've-got-to-be-kidding, and he reached out to touch my cheek. "Why didn't you tell me you were back in town?" He made it sound like he was hurt I hadn't called him as soon as I got back into town.I slapped his hand away.

"Are you serious?" I said. "What makes you think I'd even want to see you again?"

"Aw, come on," Kwang-jo said, smiling, revealing a dimple that made him look like the good kind of trouble. "You're not still hung up about that thing with Kira, are you?" He smiled. "MC, I thought we had an agreement…"

"We agreed NO FRIENDS!" I found myself nearly shouting - so loud that a couple of people actually glanced over their shoulders to see what the fuss was about. "Did you forget about that part?"

Kwang-jo and I had agreed to an "open" relationship while I was studying abroad in California, "open" meaning we agreed we could sleep with other people - as long as they weren't friends. At the time, it had sounded like a reasonable suggestion. Besides, I never thought either one of us would ever act on it. Boy, how wrong I was… Just a few months after I'd left for California, Kwang-jo slept with my best friend, Kira. It had broken my heart, so completely that I had to quit school and eventually come back to Seoul.

Kwang-jo looked up at the sky and sighed in an I-can't-believe-you're-this-upset-about-this-and-being-so-unreasonable kind of way. "Aw, Kid," he said, reaching out to put his arm around me and pull me close. "Come on, let's grab a drink…"

I wriggled away from again, this time giving him a good shove backwards. "Don't touch me like your property," I seethed. People were turning to look again. Kwang-jo held up his hands as if to say "don't make a scene." Then he said it.

"Hey, hey, hey, MC," he said smiling and through his teeth. "Don't make a scene…"

I took a few moments to catch my breath, trying to regain some of that yoga bliss composure and put it to good use.

"Look, Kwang-jo," I said, finally. "I don't want anything more to do with you, so I suggest you just walk away." I glanced meaningfully over both shoulders in warning. There were still three or four people standing around. One guy, a tall blond I recognized as a regular in my yoga class, was even watching, waiting around to see if I was OK. Kwang-jo was no dummy, so he took a step back.

"Look, Kid," he said, trying to look sheepish. "I just wanted to say hello…I know you're with that actor dude now…"

"Damn right," I said through clenched teeth. "...and his name is Zen."

"Yeah, yeah," Kwang-jo said. "I know, I know…" Then he bent his moppy head down to peer at me over the top his sunglasses, and I could see myself mirrored in the lenses. "But don't you, you know, worry about Echo Girl?" He smiled. There was that dimple again. Kwang-jo reached forward and made out the shape of a curvy woman with his hands. "Because she's, you know, kind of hot…"

Like I'm not, I thought. It was like I'd been stung. Words always hurt the worst when you already suspect they're true. Tears sprung to my eyes and I ran, I just ran...

\--- 

I cried in the subway all the way home to Zen's apartment, and then stood outside blinking my eyes in the cool air. It was a lame attempt to try to dry my tears and make the puffiness and redness disappear. At least maybe I could blame it on the yoga.

When I got inside, Zen was kicking back on the couch reading a script. "My god," he said, flicking the pages with one hand. "We're getting back together again, damn."

At the end of season one of More Than Friends, Ji-yoo and Jae-joon, the two main characters played by Echo Girl and Zen, had broken up as a result of a jealous fight. Believe me, the irony was not lost on me.

"Oh yeah?" I said, trying to sound upbeat and cheerful even though I was anything but. "All of South Korea will be happy to hear that…" OK, so maybe I wasn't doing such a good job of ditching the sarcasm. Zen politely ignored that comment.

"You know what's even worse?" Zen said. No, I thought, I couldn't at this moment, imagine anything worse than that. I grimaced. Scratch that. Make-up sex for Ji-yoo and Jae-joon… That would be worse.

"I get to grovel at her feet," Zen said. "Listen to this… It literally says 'You know I love you and only you, Lovey-hunny... Can you ever forgive me?' … and then director's note says that Ji-yoo turns away from Jae-joon to look out the window… and then, fuck, basically I have to beg."

"You're kidding me," I said, frowning. "Gross."

"Yeah, seriously," Zen said, making a puking face. He tossed the script onto the coffee table and motioned me over. "Enough of this shit… Come over here, beautiful…"

Zen opened his arms and I rushed forward, throwing my arms around his waist and burying my face into his chest where he couldn't see my red puffy eyes. I inhaled his smell. Delicious, as always. I closed my eyes as he kissed me on the top of the head and started stroking my hair.

"So…" He started, carefully. "You had a visit from Echo Girl this morning?"

"Mmm…" I murmured, not really wanting to get into it.

"You know, I didn't really want to get into it on the phone," he paused. "But I don't think it's a good idea to provoke her…"

"You've been talking to Jaehee…" I said into his chest.

"Maybe…" Zen said, still stroking my hair. "But she has a point… Echo Girl is like a nest of hornets… You don't want to poke…"

I sighed. "I know…" I picked up his hand and intertwined my fingers in his. God, his fingernails were even perfect. "Do you get manicures?" I said, out of the blue. Maybe I could distract him.

"Don't try and change the subject…" He said, squeezing my hand. "Of course I get manicures…" I smiled. I could always count on my vain Zenny. I closed my eyes and listened as he began to describe some of his favorite types of treatments, hot lotion vs. paraffin wrap, etc. After a couple of minutes I found myself beginning to doze.

"Hey," Zen said, shaking my shoulder. "Are you even listening to me?" He tilted my head up so he could see my face. When he saw my eyes, his jaw dropped.

"God, MC!" he said. "What happened? Have you been crying?" The level of concern in his voice made my heart swell, and I suddenly felt tears coming again. I choked them down.

"Uh, no, not really…" I said, cueing up my excuse. "I went to yoga… It was the hot yoga class and, you know, sometimes that makes me puffy…"

Zen gave me a quizzical look like uh-huh, right. "Hmm…" he said, stroking my cheek and studying my eyes. "Babe, are you sure?" He narrowed his eyes slightly studying my face for tells. "You know what we said about secrets…"

I looked down and started playing with his sleeve. There was no way I was telling him about Kwang-jo… Who wanted to bring _that_ up again, especially when there was always Echo Girl to blame? Besides, she was pissing me off, too.

"It's Echo Girl, isn't it?" Zen said with a sigh. "You know, you don't need to be so jealous…"

See? Zen even said it, so technically I didn't have to lie to him. Even as I continued to rationalize, I felt a gnawing sense of foreboding chewing at the lining of my stomach. I heard Dolly Parton's voice, my sworn idol, in my head clear as day: "Storms make trees take deeper roots."

Dolly was trying, as always, to deliver me sound advice, but I wasn't listening. I sighed. Maybe she was right… Maybe I could step out on a limb here and tell Zen the truth, that I'd seen Kwang-jo today… But that was hard, and it would mean that we'd have to be talking about that, and not doing other things...

In the end, I couldn't really see the reason why we needed to talk about it now… I reached up and pulled Zen's gorgeous face to mine instead. It was easy to get lost in his kiss. We had a familiar rhythm now, but kisses were never the same. Every time was singular and different, like a tasty snowflake. I pulled him closer and raked his hair with my fingers. I felt his hands slide up and down my back, feeling my shape over the thin, gauzy sweatshirt I was wearing. Then, just when I thought we were really getting to the good part, he suddenly pulled away.

"Nuh uh," Zen said, pushing me to arm's length. "Not tonight, not yet…"

My mouth popped open in surprise. "What?" I said. I hadn't felt this level of resistance since the early days, back when Zen was still a virgin. God, I thought, had there been a day when I didn't have access to this gorgeous body? I reached for him.

"What the heck are you talking about, my lovely Zen…" I cooed, banking on my go-to pet name to draw him in.

"Nuh uh," he said, his red eyes twinking. "Not now… I've got other plans for you tonight, pretty girl…"  
My forehead wrinkled in doubt. I couldn't imagine anything halfway as good as what I currently had in mind.

"Go get dressed," he said, pushing me up. "We're going out…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh… Zen & MC are going on a date...I have a feeling it's going to be a fluffy chapter, but who knows? Oh MC, trouble seems to find her… Thank you, my lovely readers (as always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. :-) :-)


	22. The Perfect Date

Zen did not give me much information about where we were going. The only thing he would tell me was to "dress casual".

"Casual business or weekend casual?" I prompted. "Or maybe just causal-casual…"

Zen scrunched up his face and gave me funny look. "What's 'casual-casual'?" he asked.

"You know," I said, gesturing to the yoga outfit I was wearing. "Casual-casual."

Zen bit his lower lip, looking me up and down. "Although you look fine," he said, pausing, his red eyes fastened at the point where my tank top shortened to reveal my belly button. "More than fine, actually… but I think maybe not casual-casual."

"Humph," I said, eyeing him closely. "You're not giving me much to go on."

Zen eyed me sideways and smiled. "You're not big on surprises, are you?" he said.

"I'm not necessarily against surprises," I said, smiling back. "I just like to know things ahead of time."

"Right..." he said, shaking his gorgeous head. "Let's just say it's nothing fancy and there won't be a dress code." When I started to open my mouth to say something else, he stuck up a hand. "That's all I'm going say. Go get dressed."

"Fine," I muttered under my breath. Pretending to be pissed off, I stomped off to bedroom.

"You're being just too cute right now, by the way," Zen called after me. "Too fucking cute…"

I ostensibly shot up a middle finger as I shut the door.

 _Where the hell could he be taking me?_ I wondered. Nothing fancy, so not theater. I scratched my head in thought as I turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. Not a big dinner out… That really wasn't his style… Well, there was only one way to find out…

I quickly showered and got dressed, deciding at last on relaxed weekend casual: a blue jean mini-skirt, cream-colored cotton top with a front lace-up sweetheart neckline, and my new strappy sandals. After tying my chestnut hair up in several different ways, I finally decided to leave it long and loose.

When I emerged from the bedroom, Zen was sitting on the couch head bent over and typing furiously into his phone. Probably in the chatroom, I thought.

"Damn," he said without looking up. "Jumin is making an ass out of himself, surprise, surprise…"

"Is Mi-Sun logged on?" I said, referencing the new party coordinator Saeyoung and Saeran had selected as a perfect "match" for Jumin. I walked over to kneel on the couch next to him so I could peer over his shoulder. The conversation was well in progress.

_Jumin: Elizabeth the third is a very special breed of Persian…_

_Mi-Sun: I can tell by her markings…_

_Zen: …_

_Yoosung: [confused emoji]_

_Jumin: You certainly are well-versed in cat breeding..._

_Mi-Sun: Proper breeding is important…_

_Jumin: Indeed…_

"Wow," I said out loud to Zen. "They are really made for each other…"

"Yeah, right?!" Zen replied. "Saeyoung and Sarean really know their shit."

_Zen: Well, although this conversation is riveting, I'll have to leave you to it..._

_Yoosung: Zen! Don't leave me here alone with these two cat nerds..._

_Zen: Sorry buddy… MC is ready and we're going out…_

_Yoosung: On a date?_

_Yoosung: [happy emoji]_

_Zen: Yes, of course, on a date…_

_Jumin: I can only assume you're referring to the kind of date where you take a lady friend somewhere and spend money on her?_

_Zen: [angry emoji]_

_Jumin: Well, all I can say is it's about time…_

_Jumin: Are you all set up for funds?_

_Jumin: Do you need to borrow my car? I could send Driver Kim right over…_

_Mi-Sun: Oh Jumin, that's so thoughtful ^^_

_Zen: We don't need anything from you, jerk._

_Mi-Sun: Zen, so rude for such a pretty face T-T_

_Zen: Yeah, whatever. Gotta go._

_[Zen has left the chatroom]_

Zen slammed the phone down on the couch. "That jerk!" he said. "He’s still got to troll me… and now he’s got a little partner in crime, too…"

I put my hand on his knee, leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Oh Zenny," I said, softly. "Isn't this what we wanted?

He sighed, closed his eyes and sucked in a long breath. "Yes," he said, rubbing his temples. "...but it just hurts sometimes."

After a few moments, Zen finally opened his eyes and looked at me. "Damn, Princess," he said. "What are you wearing?"

"Like you said," I said. "Nice and casual…"

Zen's eyes lingered on the middle of my chest, where the lace-up tie was tied neatly in a bow. "Are you even, uh, wearing a bra?" he said.

I looked down. I knew there were gaps in the fabric where the lace-up tied together, but I didn't think you could really see anything. God, Zen could get so possessive sometimes.

"What?" I said, playfully batting my eyes at the actor. "Do I even need one?" Before he could even answer, I leaned over and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"Baby," I said, leaning back from the kiss but leaving our foreheads touching. "Don't be so possessive... it's unbecoming."

Zen sighed, realizing I was right. "OK," he said, getting up from the couch. "Fine, you win." He turned to me and pulled me up by both hands, looking me up and down.

"Wow, Princess," he said, exhaling a long, low breath. "Don't get me wrong, you look great…" He shook his head as if he was trying to shake away a thought. My cheeks colored thinking about what that thought might be. "It's just I really, really want to take you out on this date…" He moved toward the closet, opened it and got out two helmets.

"Come on," Zen said, tossing one to me. "Let's get out of here before I start acting on other ideas…"

\--- 

"You going to tell me where we're going yet?" I said, squeezing Zen around the middle. I loved being on the back of his motorcycle, resting my head against the smooth surface of his leather jacket.

"Not a chance," he said. "Just be patient, Princess."

We drove out of Zen's neighborhood and through several other districts until we finally reached the center of the city, where we were surrounded by high rise buildings and city centers. Where could we be going? Zen seemed to sense my thoughts.

"Don't worry, Princess," he said. "We're almost there."

We made our way down a few more busy streets, weaving in and out of traffic. Finally Zen made a left and turned onto Chungmuro Avenue. When he pulled into the parking garage at Daehan Cinema, I felt confused.

"We're going to see a movie?" I asked.

"Nope," Zen said, shutting off the ignition. I watched as he pulled a bag out of the storage compartment behind the seat of the bike.

"What's in there?" I said.

Zen smiled knowingly. "You'll see…" he said. He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the cinema.

"We _are going to the movies…"_ I said as he lead me inside the double glass doors and toward the elevators.

"Nope…" Zen said, still smiling. He was enjoying this. When we got into the elevator, Zen pressed the button for the 8th floor. I was completely puzzled. If we weren't going to a movie, then where were we going? 

"Zen?" I said, impatiently. 

"Just wait, pretty girl," he said. 

When the elevator doors opened onto to the eighth floor, my mouth dropped in surprise. Stepping from the enclosed space of the elevator, I felt the warm spring breeze on my face. We were outside on the top of the building - and in the middle of a garden. Roses of every color surrounded us, meticulously cultivated in a maze of rows. 

"What is this place?" I said. Zen took my hand and led me forward. Rows of roses walled us on either side, yet the entire Seoul skyline was visible just above the bud of their blooms. "My god," I exclaimed. 

"You like it?" Zen said. 

"Do I like it?" I said, incredulously. "I love it." 

Tucked in amongst the roses were little nooks and spaces - almost like "rooms" - decked out with comfy looking wicker chairs and tables, perfect for those looking for a little privacy or solitude. As we made our way through the maze, I noticed that despite the beauty and seclusion of the this place, only a few people were taking advantage of it. Aside from the few couples we encountered, the place was mostly deserted. 

"Nobody really knows about this place," Zen said. 

"But you do…" I said. 

"Yeah," Zen said. "I've been here a few times…" When we got to an empty table near the north corner of the roof, he gestured for me to sit down, and I made myself comfortable amongst the myriad of cushions. "I used to come here a lot more to write, or read scripts," Zen said. "It was a place where I felt I could work and feel in solitude, but still feel inspired…" 

"I can see totally that…" I said. The view from the rooftop was breathtaking. We were in the center of the city and buildings of all sizes stretched out around us as far as the eye could see. The sun was also just getting ready to set, so the whole scene was bathed in orange-pink twilight. 

"The reason I wanted to bring you here, the reason I thought you would like it..." Zen said, pausing to reach for my hand across the table, his red eyes twinkling. "...is because it reminds me of the gardens in that book you like…" 

"What book I like?" I said. 

"You know," he said. "The one you're always talking about, the one about that girl who doesn't want to get married…" 

" _Pride and Prejudice_?" I said. He was right. The rooftop rose garden did have a 19th century flair about it. The meticulous way the hedges were trimmed, the fact that it basically was a garden maze made it seem downright Victorian. "Wait, how would you know that?" 

Zen smiled and bit his bottom lip. 

"What?" I said. "You've been reading it?" 

"Well," he said. "I had to see what the hype was about… But don't fash yourself... I'm not finished with it yet." 

I squeezed his hand, smiling from ear to ear. Zen, the actor, my boyfriend, was reading my favorite book just because it was my favorite book. "You are so sweet," I said, really meaning it. I caressed his wrist with my thumb. "You know that, right?" 

"Sweet and handsome," he said. "Very handsome… Some might say 'irresistible' am I right?" 

I got up and threw myself in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Too right," I said, kissing him. He tasted sweet and delicious. 

"That guy, though," Zen said, when the kiss was over. "You know, Mr. Darcy…" 

"Yeah?" I said, curious. "What about him?" 

"Well, he kind of reminds me of Jumin…" Zen said. 

"Hmm…" I said, thinking. He was right. Mr. Darcy was kind of like Jumin, the way he was so uptight and formal, so unable to access the emotional side of himself. I smiled. Was I really just now talking about books with my boyfriend? I pinched myself under the table to prove it was real before I answered. "Yeah, I could see where you'd think that..." 

"Please tell me that Elizabeth's able to change him in end," Zen said, running his hands through his silver hair with a stressed out look on his face. 

"No way I'm spoiling the ending for you," I said, giving him a shake of the finger. 

"Fair enough," Zen said, and then he sighed. "Well, I thought, well, maybe I was hoping that Mi-Sun would do something for Jumin, but she just seems to be making him worse…" 

"Give it some time," I said, reaching over to rub his knee under the table. "Besides, the important thing is that Jumin is happy." 

Zen gave me a look, like why-do-you-care-so-much-about-why-Jumin-is-happy, and I decided to let it go. I motioned to the bag on the table, in favor of changing the subject. "What's in the bag?" I said. 

"Oh, I almost forgot," Zen said, brightening. "That's dinner…" 

__

"You brought dinner?" I said, jumping up and reaching for the bag. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I opened the bag and delicious smells started emanating from it. 

"Oh wow," I breathed, as I reached inside, pulled out a small cardboard box and opened it up. There were several min-rice rolls wrapped in plastic. "You got Kimbap?" I exclaimed. I unwrapped the plastic, lifted the seaweed-wrapped rice roll to my lips and took a bite. "Mmm... kimchi and shrimp!" 

"Yup," Zen said, beaming. "Your favorite…" 

"When did you get this?" I said. 

"Before you got home, I went out…" he said. "Remember our shoot was cancelled…" 

"What else is in here?" I said, going back to the bag. I reached back inside and pulled out a smaller paper bag with warm buns inside. "Fish-shaped buns!" I nearly shouted. "Are these from the guy who sells them outside your house?" 

Zen nodded with pride. "The very one…" 

In a fit of excitement, I popped over to sit back on Zen's lap, bringing one of the fish-shaped buns with me. 

"I love fish-shaped buns," I said, taking a bite. Red bean paste oozed from the middle and trickled down my chin. Zen reached up a finger to wipe it way. 

"...and I love you," Zen said, popping the finger with the red bean paste into his mouth. Something about the way he did this stirred something deep between my thighs. So much so I needed to put the fish-shaped bun back on the table and turn to cup both of his cheeks with my hands. Looking deep into his shining red eyes, I wondered whether or not you could truly see someone's soul. I could certainly feel his, and I wanted to give him mine. 

"Zen," I said, pulling his face toward mine. I kissed him long and hard, and then our lips started moving together in our familiar motion, our tongues tied together, deep exploring each other's mouths. 

As we continued to kiss, I let my fingers get lost in his silken hair, pulling out the ponytail holder and letting it fall to the ground. I felt his hands slide up and down the sides of my waist and then reach around to the front of my shirt. 

He stopped kissing me for a moment and smiled, looking devilish. Almost like a dare, he reached down for the tie at the front of my blouse and pulled the loose ends. When the bow came undone, he looked down at my bare breasts inside my now open shirt. My nipples were hard and erect and I had this tremendous urge. I wanted him to suck on them. 

"Do it…" I said in a breathy voice, as I pulled the back of his head toward my chest. I groaned as I felt his lips close around my left nipple and begin to suck. The heat between my legs was already intense, but the fire grew triple fold. I was pretty sure my panties were already damp. A low moan emanated from the depths of my throat. 

Zen was sucking on one breast, but he was not one for favorites. His mouth on one breast, he had one of his hands up my shirt, gently squeezing the other, expertly massaging the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, making it harder. 

"Oh, god, Zen," I whisper-moaned, hoping no one else could hear me. The corner of the garden we were in, I remember, was pretty vacant. The other three couples we saw were at least three alcoves away, hopefully out of ear shot. 

I felt Zen's hand let go of my breast and slide down my body to my bare thigh. I held my breath, willing him to reach up and touch me between the legs, to relieve the ache I was feeling there. I sighed as I got my wish, feeling his hand move upward under the fabric of my skirt. When his fingers brushed the wetness of my underwear, I moaned yet again. 

"Oh Princess," Zen said, his breath hot in my ear. "You're wet." 

Eagerly I lifted my hips up and let him tug my panties out from under my skirt. Soon his fingers were all over my bare pussy. My breath quickened and my breathing came harder, my mind wild with lust. 

"That's better," Zen said. I shut my eyes and grinded my hips into his fingers, not really caring that I was moaning like an animal. Zen knew exactly where to touch me. He knew exactly when to slide his fingers from my clit to the opening, and when to shove his fingers inside. 

"Oh, god…" I moaned, helplessly, completely at his mercy. "Zen…" 

"There you go, pretty girl," Zen whispered as he picked up the rhythm of his fingers in response to my grinding. The tension was building, my pleasure was swelling and I was getting close, I could feel it, and I said so… 

"I want you to cum," Zen whispered in my ear. "Cum for me, baby…" 

As he said the words, I exploded, sensation erupting like a wave between my legs. I let out a cry and then a whimper as I shuddered and quaked in Zen's arms, feeling super sonic waves of pleasure surge through me again and again. 

"Damn, babe," Zen said, smiling like a beast, when the quaking had stopped. "You're so fucking hot." 

That was when I felt his hardness beneath his jeans, thick and urgent against my thigh. I turned to straddle him and immediately reached down to pull at his belt buckle. Zen instinctively reached around to his back pocket for a condom. 

"Here," he said, breathlessly, handing me the square flat package. 

By now, I'd already freed his cock from his jeans, his boxers, and it was standing before me, straight up at attention and ready. I couldn't help myself when I saw the bead of pre-cum oozing from the tip. When I leaned over to lick it off, Zen moaned. 

"Oh, MC," he said, gripping my thighs. 

Quickly, I ripped off the wrapper of the pro-offered condom with my teeth. No need for anything fancy this time, I just put it on the tip of his dick and rolled it down. I was already ready for more, and I wasn't in the mood for the showy stuff. One knee on either side of him, I hiked up my skirt. Gripping his rubber-sheathed penis, I slid the tip back and forth across my clit a few times before finally guiding it to the entrance and pushing him inside me. 

"Ohhh…" I said, throwing my head back as I felt the pleasure of his fullness inside me. Then, I began to move. Up, down, back and forth. Zen's hands gripped me hard around the hips, pulling me close toward him, pushing himself in deeper. 

"MC, MC, MC…" he said. Zen kept whispering my name over and over as we moved faster together. My pleasure was building again, matching his with every thrust of of my hips. 

Suddenly I felt his lips close again around my nipple, the sucking a little more intense than before. "Oh yes, Zen," I said, in response. "That… Oh, god…" 

I guess we'd found something new I liked. I closed my eyes picturing Zen's gorgeous red lips anchored to my nipple, sucking away. The feeling of him doing this coupled with the image of it in mind was enough to undo me. I held my breath for an instant as my next orgasm hit and washed through me. As I quaked and shuddered, I felt my vaginal walls close and compress several times around Zen's dick deep inside me as I came. He felt it, too. 

"MC, oh you're… oh, god, I can feel it… oh my god…" he said, and then his red eyes rolled back as his bottom half clenched. Not two seconds later, I felt him shudder and release his load. "Oh god, mannn…." 

When we were both finished we, gripped each other gasping and shaking. A minute later, I realized I was crying. 

"Oh god, MC," Zen said as he touched the tears on my face. "I didn't… I didn't hurt you, did I?" 

The look of concern on his face made me smile and then I began to laugh. 

"No, my lovely Zen," I said. "You certainly didn't hurt me, not at all."  


\--- 

We both went into our separate gender-specific bathrooms to clean up and then came back to our table to finish our dinner. I wish I had brought another pair of panties because mine were still wet from earlier activities.

"I kind of like the fact that you're not wearing any panties right now," Zen said, his red eyes narrowing dark. "It's kind of hot."

It did feel kind of hot, my bare skin rubbing against bare skin, but I tried not to think about it. Instead I focused on the fish-shaped bun I'd abandoned earlier.

"This is sooo good," I said, taking another bite and then a sip of beer. Zen had brought a couple of Kass beers in his clever little picnic basket and packed them with an ice pack, so they were still cold.

"Yup," Zen said, lifting up his can of beer to toast mine. "This is the life…"

I smiled, feeling pretty sure that I had never, ever felt this happy. I realized that it nearly always felt this way with Zen. Each time I spent with him I was certain it was the best, like it couldn't possibly get any better. Then the next time we'd hang out, somehow it always managed to be, well, just better. What would it be like, if things just kept getting better and better? Might I just one day explode with happiness?

"Thanks for bringing me here, Zen," I said, feeling completely grateful. I felt the full weight of my feelings, my heart swelling with affection for the beautiful god sitting across from me.

"You don't have thank me," Zen said, smiling. "But you're welcome."

For a few moments, we sat there quietly together, nibbling on fish-shaped buns, sipping beer and soaking in the scenery. The sun had gone down by now - we had missed the sunset, having been obviously distracted by other activities - and the lights of city were twinkly and bright like urban stars.

"Hey," Zen said, out of the blue. "Do you want to do something crazy?" His eyes were sparkling and mischievous. I giggled.

"Didn't we just?" I said.

Zen bit his lower lip and smiled. I could only imagine what he was remembering. It made me smile back, and want to start doing it all over again, too.

"Yeah, but what about something even more crazy?" Zen reached over and started tracing what looked like a figure eight, only sideways on my bare knee.

"More crazy with you?" I laughed. Well, it was working for me so far. "I'm all in. What do you have in mind?"

Zen looked me in the eyes, with a look so piercing and sincere I felt something like a lightning bolt surge through my heart. "How about forever?" he said, still tracing that figure eight shape on my knee.

"Forever?" I repeated, puzzled.

"Yeah, will you forever me?" Zen said, a lock of silver hair shifting to cover his eyebrow.

I looked at him, still confused. Yeah, sure I'd forever him. I knew I wanted to be with him forever, for all time, but what was he talking about? Suddenly my heart jumped into my throat. Shit, was he going to propose? I looked across the table at him, but he wasn't handing me a little box. Instead, he was handing me an envelope. So he wasn't going to propose. I breathed a sigh of relief. Although I was pretty sure I'd say yes in a heartbeat, it still felt a little too early for a big step like that.

"What is this?" I said, accepting the envelope.

"Open it," Zen said, so I did.

Inside the envelope was a piece of paper with a drawing on it. The drawing was of an infinity symbol - basically a figure eight on its side - inter-looped with two red hearts. It was simple, pretty. I still didn't know what it meant.

"OK," I said, shaking my head. "I'm sorry, babe, but I still don't get it... What is this?"

"It's something I made," Zen said. "For us." My eyes popped wider.

"You drew this?" I said. Wow, I knew Zen could sing, dance and write poetry, but he could draw, too? Sigh. So friggin' handsome and talented. Again, I had that feeling, wondering if it were possible to die of happiness.

"Yeah," Zen said, smiling sheepishly. "I made it for you."

"So handsome and talented," I said.

"Very handsome," Zen corrected.

"Yeah, whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "So what's it for?" I turned the drawing around to look at in from different angles. It seemed a little simple and small to hang on a wall like a proper piece of art.

"Well, it's not about what it is or what it's for," he said. "It's about what it's going to be… It's a design for tattoo…" My eyes widened. "A tattoo for us…"

"Us?" I said, swallowing. I'd told him a few weeks ago that I'd always wanted a tattoo, but that I just didn't have any ideas about what it should be... God, was he really always listening to me?

"Yes, for us," Zen said, reaching for my hand across the table. "The infinity symbol, well, it means 'forever', which encapsulates my feelings for you… The hearts, well, they're us…" Zen's red eyes continued to search mine as his thumb traced a figure eight on my wrist. "I thought that maybe we could each get them on the left side of our chest, just above our hearts…"

I sighed, feeling the weight of his meaning. I think was starting to realize what Zen meant when he was asking me to "forever" him. "You want us to get matching tattoos?" I said, a lump forming in my throat. God, had anyone ever made such a grand gesture?

"MC, I'm only asking…" Zen said, his red eyes searching my brown ones for clues. "I mean, no pressure… you just said and so I thought…"

In the space of a minute, I already realized how much I wanted to forever Zen with a forever tattoo on my body, but I couldn't help but hear Jaehee's voice of dissension in my head. No doubt, she would be worried about Zen's reputation as an actor.

"But what about your career, your body…?" I said. My thoughts immediately catapulted to future scenes of _More Than Friends_ … What would Ji-yoo say when she encountered a foreign tattoo on Lovey-Hunny's body? Not a happy scene, I'd expect.

Zen sighed. "In the end, my body is my body," he said. "Besides, makeup can work miracles these days...If my real-life conflicts from my fake-life, well then, they can just cover it up with epoxy or whatever…"

"Let's do it," I said, smiling on my face. In my heart, I said "fuck you" to everybody, and especially to Echo Girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: a little longer and a little saucier than usual...but whatever, everyone's safe and being consensual, which is the most important part. Thanks again (and always) for reading, reviewing and commenting... Not sure exactly what's coming next, but stay tuned!


	23. Zen's Psychic Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: ok, so this chapter needs a note at the top by way of warning: Some folks have been requesting more lemons, and this one definitely has enough to make lemonade, so better bring a pitcher! If you're squeamish or get cringey, I'd suggest just moving along to the next chapter… honestly you won't be missing any major plot points here… It's not that kind of chapter ;-)
> 
>  
> 
> This is my take on what Zen's psychic dream about MC (alluded to in chat room on Day 1) might have been like...

When we got home that night, I reminded Zen that he had promised a few weeks ago to tell me about his psychic dream.

"In fairness, I said I would 'show' you, not tell you," he said.

"OK, then," I said. "I'm game… so show me."

Zen pulled me into the bedroom and positioned me standing in front of him at the foot of the bed.

"Now this is a little embarrassing, because, well, it's not the way you'd typically meet someone for the first time," Zen said, his cheeks coloring a bit.

"But you said it was a dream, a psychic dream…" I said.

Zen shifted from one foot to the other and his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. "Well, let's just say that's not the only kind of dream it was…"

I tilted my head sideways and looked at him, confused. "OK, so what kind of dream was it, then?" All kinds of images were rolling through my mind. Dreams where I'd had no teeth. Dreams where I was being chased. Dreams where I'd been flying.

Zen cleared his throat, stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked at the floor. "Well, um…" he started. "Let's just say that maybe this one was rated 'R' and I woke up with sticky shorts."

My jaw dropped, totally getting it all at once. "Oh!" I said, swallowing hard. "So you had a psychic wet dream... about me?" He nodded. It was my turn to blush. I felt my cheeks flush, along with the heat of excitement beginning to rev up between my legs. I bit my bottom lip in anticipation.

"Well," I said, taking a step forward and smiling. "What exactly did you do to me, my lovely Zen? I think it's important that I know…"

Zen smiled and his red eyes turned mischievous. "Oh, you're going to like this, Princess…" He took a step or two forward until he was standing right in front of me. Then he started to unbutton my blouse. Instinctively, I reached forward for his belt buckle. Zen batted my hands away.

"Nuh-uh," he said. "Not so fast. You said you wanted to _see_ how it all played out, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, then, just let me _show_ you, OK?" he said, smiling. He pulled his tee-shirt up over his head and tossed it to the ground before reaching around my arms to undo the clasp of my bra. When we were both shirtless, Zen pulled me closer until my nipples were just brushing his chest. The moment our skin made contact, the heat between my legs begin to pulsate.

"So this is where the dream began," Zen said. "Basically, I 'woke up' standing with you in my bedroom, and we were both naked from the waist up."

Wow, I thought. That was quite an opener. _Why couldn't my dreams be like that?_

Zen lifted a hand and began tracing my right breast with two fingers. "I'm sorry," he said, smiling a bit. "But this is how it happened… I know I really should've looked into your eyes first or stroked your beautiful cheek before I went for your boob, but…" he chuckled and shook his head. "Well, you know what a beast I am…"

"Mmm…" I murmured. Closing my eyes, I leaned back and moaned. Clearly I didn't mind. I doubt my dream self would've minded much, either. "Go on," I prompted. "What happened next?"

"Don't rush me, Princess," Zen said. "Then you did just what you did now...In my dream, you leaned back, closed your eyes and moaned… and then I started touching you here…"

Keeping one hand on my breast, he used the other to start exploring the other curves of my body. Lightly, he ran his fingertips over the indentation of my waist, over the curve of my hips, across the soft bump of my belly. His touch left little electric impulses in its wake that made my skin feeling tingly and alive.

"God, I just couldn't believe how beautiful you were," he said, grazing his fingers over my other nipple causing me to shiver.

"On the one hand, I was thinking god, who is this girl? Do I even know her? I remember kind of doing a mental scan of all the rehearsals and callbacks I'd been to recently, all the coffee shops, trying to identify where you could have maybe entered my consciousness…" Zen said.

"So you realized you were in a dream?" I said, sighing a little as Zen's fingers brushed the tip of my hip bone.

"Yeah," Zen said. "That's pretty typical for me to know when I'm dreaming, especially when I'm having a psychic dream…"

Both of Zen's hands were now on my ass and making their way up my lower back, to my shoulders, to my face. He cupped my cheeks in both hands and looked so deeply into my brown eyes that I gasped. I wondered, if Zen had looked deeply into my eyes so many times before, why did I feel so exposed now?

"Hey," I said, biting back a smile. I felt shy, a little bit embarrassed. I didn't quite know why.

"Huh," Zen said, lifting an eyebrow in surprise. "That's just what you said in my dream, too." He paused, continuing to gaze at me in that penetrating way. "So, uh, I'd finally gotten around to the idea that it might be a good idea to look at your face, and then damn, when I looked into your eyes…" He looked wistful, remembering. "It's hard to describe, but I felt this like intense energy wave of connection, like I knew who you were already and, this is going to sound strange, like we were already deeply in love. I got the sense that you felt that way, too…" Zen paused with a puzzled look on his face. "Maybe it had something to do with the way you said 'hey'... Kind of like how you said it just now, kind of like you were meeting an old friend..."

Zen began to stroke one of my cheeks with his hands and I watched as his red eyes grew so tender. "Aw man," he groaned as he pulled our faces together for the kiss. "This part was so great..."

The kiss was so pure, so tender, so complete. It started out with small kisses on the lips and escalated slowly to full exploration of lips, opening of mouths and, finally to full-on tangle of tongues. Each of us pushing eagerly inside the other to search and discover. It felt so beautiful and natural, like we were breathing together or maybe just sighing.

I could have honestly gone on with this kiss forever, but then Zen suddenly pulled away and held me at arm's length.

"Then here's where I'm thinking, hmm, maybe I shouldn't be doing this," Zen said. "Like really, I don't even know this girl… Like is this even OK to be doing right now?"

My heart sank and I felt instantly disappointed. I was enjoying myself. I _wanted_ this. I didn't want it to end.

"Oh my god," Zen said, pointing to my face. "And then you gave me _that_ look… that sad puppy dog look on your face right there…" he shook his head in disbelief. "I'm so having deja vu right now…"

"Weird," I said, anxious for the story to go on. "So what happened next?"

Zen smiled. "You looked so cute, too cute as always... and so I did this…"

He reached forward with both hands and grabbed me about the waist, pulling me in close and upward to his lips. Literally, I could feel myself lift up off of the floor, toes just barely brushing the surface as he crushed my body to his for another kiss. This kiss was different than the first. It had more power behind it, more passion.

"And so I said 'fuck it'," Zen whispered in my ear, his breath hot on my neck. "I thought to myself, this is a pretty damn good dream and I better not waste it… I mean, why not just go on and let it happen? Who gives a fuck what it means?"

I smiled, biting my bottom lip, relieved that it was going to go on. Again, I reached for him, but Zen caught my wrists in midair and held them down at my sides.

"Nope, Princess," he said, smiling wickedly. "It's my show and tell time…"

I stood there obediently and let Zen remove the rest of my clothes. Then I watched him remove his. When we were both naked, we stood back a few feet apart, just staring at each other.

"God, you're just so fucking beautiful," Zen said. His red eyes were wide like he was taking me in all at once. The same could be said about him. My body felt warm and tingly just looking at him. I let my eyes rove over every part of him: his perfect, smooth chiseled chest, his strong muscular arms, that gorgeous ass and, of course, the length of his hardness, which was now proudly standing up front and center.

I heaved a sigh. I wanted to run and jump him, but I remembered this was supposed to be a recreation of Zen's dream, and he was in charge. So I just bit my bottom lip and squeezed my thighs together trying to wiggle out and satisfy some of the heat and wanting that was still building there.

"My god," Zen practically snarled. "You're so predictable…"

I smiled. "Don't tell me I did that in the dream, too?"

Zen nodded and his red eyes got very intense. "Come here," he said, his voice low. My heart jumped and I obeyed, walking toward him. When I got within range, he immediately reached for me, picking me up off the floor and swinging me around so that I was straddling him, my arms around his neck, legs around his waist. He kissed me once long and deep, and then turned around and threw me down on the bed, face up.

"Oh!" I said, a bit surprised, and if I'm being honest, incredibly turned on. Suddenly I felt Zen's hands on my calves, pulling me down toward the edge of the bed. He pulled me all the way to the bottom, until my butt was nearly hanging off the edge of the mattress. Zen gave me one sexy satisfied grin before he knelt down and opened my knees, spreading them wide.

A moment later I felt Zen's hot breath between my thighs, first planting kisses deep on the inside of my legs and then closer to... I gasped when I felt his lips touch my clit, at first gently lapping and then rhythmically sucking harder and harder.

"Oh, god…" I moaned, tears springing to my eyes as the sensation increased. "Zen...I…Oh god..." First I gripped the sheets and then got greedy, tangling my fingers into his loose silver hair. My body was humming with an intensity I'd never experienced, every nerve was on heightened alert and I was sizzling toward climax.

"Zen, Zen, please…" I cried. Literally it felt like I was losing my mind, going like a good kind of insane, if that was even possible... Like I was coming apart at the seams, losing my grip on reality and being introduced to the truth all at the same time. Pretty mind blowing.

Mercilessly Zen kept sucking on my clit, and then I felt one, and then two fingers thrust inside me, moving in and out in perfect rhythm. Lifting my hips off the bed I groaned wildly and shut my eyes. My pleasure was peaking, threatening to crest… I needed, I needed, just one more little thing…

"Hyyyunnn…" I moaned his true name from somewhere deep inside me as I felt a third finger enter me and thrust in tandem with a long, generous suck on my clitoris. My eyes rolled back in my head as all sensation converged in my body and exploded, leaving me floating in an atomic wake of desire.

I lay there panting and staring at the ceiling, my eyes wild and wet with tears. Did I just see stars? Holy fuck, I don't think I'd ever felt so good. I reached my hands out for my boyfriend, who crawled up my body and embraced me.

"So," I said, still gasping for breath. "That's how it happened?"

"Well, that's how it started," he said.

"What, you mean...there's more?" I said.

Zen raised his eyebrows. "You seem to be playing your part pretty well so far… What do you think comes next, pretty girl?"

As soon as he said it, a whole scene popped into my mind. Hell yes I knew what came next. He did.

Zen was lying on top of me, propped up on his forearms with a devilish look in his eye that said "I dare you…" I reached up and pulled his face to mine, drinking him in. He kissed me back with equal fervor, our tongues locked in some kind of consensual warfare. My hands were mostly in his hair, but somewhere along the line, I got other ideas. I could feel him hard, pressing against my thigh, so I started moving my hands down in the direction of that hardness… but Zen caught my wrists at my shoulders.

"Nuh-uh, Princess," he whispered hotly. "I'm not done with you yet."

Instantly I felt my body respond before my mind did… with a sharp heat that reignited somewhere deep within me and a feeling of dizziness. I just had time to gasp in surprise before Zen's mouth was back on mine and going to work. I could feel his erection getting harder and the fire in my belly burning brighter with every hot breath. It was like he was devouring me, consuming me with some kind of beast-need, and I was going wild for it.

He still had his hands around my wrists and pressed to the bed, not enough to hurt, but he was making his point. He was sucking on my neck now, that place he knew I liked near my collarbone and I thought I was maybe going to go blind with lust. My pussy was so hot for him, I couldn't help but wriggle with the wanting. I kept lifting my hips up, trying to press myself into him, but finding no relief.

"God, Zen…" I whimpered. "Please…"

Zen stopped kissing me for a moment and lifted his head up to look at me. "Princess..." he said.

"Yes, my lovely Zen?" I breathed in response.

He smiled, a big teasing, roguish grin. "You're just so damn cute right now…" he said, letting his gaze drop from my eyes to my breasts and back to my eyes again. "...and I want you so damn bad…" He sucked in a breath and then he was lowering his head, moving down, leaving a trail of kisses on my neck, traveling southward toward the space between my breasts. My body was aching and burning for him so much I let go a sigh… I could almost feel him inside me already… Hopefully, I thought as I continued to feel his lips move downward, relief was on the way.

Then, almost too abruptly, all movement stopped. Zen paused and lifted his chin to rest on my chest.

"Oh, but um, Princess?" he said with a wry sideways smile. "I'm going to make you wait…Just a little bit longer, ok?"

He didn't wait for me to answer. Keeping his gaze locked with mine, I watched as he fastened his red gorgeous lips around one of my erect nipples. _That new thing I liked._ My eyes rolled back and my head followed suit. I moaned.

"Jesus…" My voice was otherworldly, not like my own. I closed my eyes and tried to give in to the pleasure of it, but it was so overwhelming... So many colors… So many sensations… All of them leading up to one singular objective… God, I needed… God, I just needed...

"Zen," I croaked. He'd let go of my wrists in favor of freeing them up for my breasts. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity by putting my hands in his hair and pushing his head downward. "Zen, please…"

Obliging just a little, he pressed himself a little harder against my entrance. "Oh Hyun… Oh god, oh please..." I cried as a small rush of pleasure, a hint of relief, surged through me.

Zen looked up at me and smiled flashing all his teeth. "Good girl, Princess," he breathed. "See, now was that so hard?"

That's what he was waiting for? Me to say his real name? God, I'll say it again and a thousand times more! "Hyun!!" I cried. "You damn bastard! Hyun! Hyun! Hyun!"

Zen laughed and then pulled himself up so he was straddling me on his knees. My eyes went wide as they fastened on my object of desire.

"Oh," he said, gesturing innocently to his very erect penis. "Is this what you want?"

"Yes, Hyun," I said, my voice as sweet and as thick as the hot wetness between my legs. "Very much... I want you... all of you."

Hearing those words and seeing the look in my eyes made Ryu Hyun's face go from playful to beast-like in heartbeat. I could see him suck in a breath and swallow hard. I watched as he reached down and wrapped his own hand around his shaft and began to rub the tip with his thumb. Not breaking my gaze, he very purposely leaned over, opened the bedside table and pulled a condom from the drawer. My chest continued to heave up and down with my breathing as he ripped open the package and rolled the condom on.

Zen never stopped looking at me as he slid his hands slowly up and down my thighs bent at the knees, and then leaned himself forward, gently positioning himself above me. I could feel him again pressing at my entrance. I was almost holding my breath, gripping the sheets, waiting for him to make his move.

His eyes softened a bit as he reached down between his legs, ready at last to give me what I wanted, what I at this point I so desperately needed.

"God, MC," he said, his red eyes open all the way to his soul. "I love you… I just do."

I gasped as he thrust himself into me. "Oh god, Hyun…" I said, relishing the feeling of the full length of Zen inside me. "You know it, god damnit, I love you, too." I raised my hips to meet him and we began to move.

This time it was so tender, so gentle, so heavenly… Honestly, it was like a dream…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Whoa, dang! Cold showers all around… Anyone up for some lemonade? Thanks (as always) for reading, commenting, reviewing and following… Shout out to the reader who wanted to see Zen take control...I loved that suggestion and, as a result, I think MC got to see a different side of herself and experience something new… Until next time :-) :-)


	24. "Shirts" or "Skins"?

"Cut!" Echo Girl called out in a shrill, exasperated voice.

"Echo Girl!" Ho-jin Kim, the director of _More Than Friends season 2_ , scolded as he lumbered onto the set, a pointed finger in the air. "I've told you this time and time again: you DO NOT get to call 'cut' on the set! That is MY job! My job alone!"

Zen thought Ho-jin Kim looked like he'd already had a day, but it was barely ten o'clock in the morning. Glancing around the set it was obvious the director wasn't the only one who'd had enough of Echo Girl's power antics today. Camera operators, grips, makeup stand-by artists, assistants, assistants to assistants were all standing around shaking their heads and looking tired. None of this seemed to bother Kyungju, who continued to press her point.

"Zen is not following proper director stage instructions," Echo Girl said, shooting the actor a piercing look with her ice blue eyes. "It says here," she said, pointing furiously at a page in the script. "It says here that 'Jae-joon grabs Ji-yoo's hand and pulls her around to face him'..."

"Yeah, and?" Zen said, hotly. "I did that… I thought the real problem here is that you forgot to say your line…" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a lot of other people on the set nod in agreement.

Echo Girl pressed her bright red lips into a thick line, pausing a moment before responding. "Well, I didn't say the line," she said at last, looking pointedly at Zen. "Because you didn't act with the proper feeling…"

"Aw, come on!" Zen said. "What's your line, then, Kyungju, because I bet you don't even know!"

Everyone on set waited for Echo Girl to respond. Zen briefly caught eyes with Lexi Ann, Seven's girlfriend, who was working undercover as Echo's Girl's assistant, and suppressed a smirk. Echo Girl gave Zen a stoney stare before flipping on her heel and turning her ire on the director.

"Ho-ji," Echo Girl said, sweetly. Ho-jin Kim rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He was one of the top ten most respected directors in South Korean television and any pet name bestowed upon him from anyone would be considered disrespectful. The only reason Echo Girl was getting away with any of this, Zen thought with irritation, was because her father was CEO of Capital Industries. Although C&R Industries was bankrolling the production of _More Than Friends_ , the show was being broadcast via the Korea Now Network, which was controlled by its parent company Capital Industries. Damn fucking privilege, Zen thought. Trumps it every time.

Zen sighed inwardly at his situation, wondering for only the maybe umpteenth time just today: was it all worth it? Sure, _More Than Friends_ was the biggest, highest paying gig he'd had in his entire career. His fan base had grown triple fold since Season 1 alone, and he'd been getting more offers and callbacks for acting jobs than ever. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had to accept a straight-up modeling gig. He sighed. All of this was great, but it was also still so painful having to deal with Echo Girl.

"Ho-ji," Echo Girl was saying in that high sick saccharin voice of hers. "Don't you agree that Zen could put in a little more effort, a little more feeling into his role?" She scrunched up her lips. "I mean, I just don't get that he's feeling me, you know?"

Because I'm not, Zen thought, hotly. To keep himself from speaking out, he concentrated on tracing a scuff in the floor with the tip of his shoe. Damn Kyungju. There was no way he was going to let her egg him on, get him to engage in any of the kind of behavior that would deem him "difficult to work with" alongside her. It had happened to more than a few of Echo Girl's former co-stars. Just the other day, Zen saw Won Han, the actor who was cast as Echo Girl's love interest in her last musical, on the home shopping network touting aftershave.

The director Ho-jin Kim rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger, likely deep in thought and/or frustration. Finally he lifted his head with the look of an idea on his face. "I have a suggestion that I think will plus up the energy of this whole scene," he said.

"So you agree that Zen's acting is shit…" Echo Girl said, crossing her arms across her chest in satisfaction.

Ho-jin Kim waved her off. "I didn't say that, Kyungju," he said. Echo Girl made a pouty face at the use of her given name. Zen smirked. Nice one, Ho-jin, he thought. It was a good dis, but Zen doubted it would stop Echo Girl from using the pet name "Hoji" for the director any time soon.

"Zen," Ho-jin said, motioning him over. Damn, Zen thought irritably to himself. Why did he always have to be the one to have to bend in an Echo Girl crisis? He walked over to where Ho-jin was standing. Ho-jin was a short man, but he seemed even shorter standing next to Zen. Whenever he had to interact with the director like this, Zen had to fight a relentless urge to stoop.

"What is it, boss?" Zen said, trying to seem amiable.

"I know you're an agreeable man," Ho-jin Kim started. "I also know that you probably don't want to be here six days until Sunday shooting this one god-forsaken scene…"

"That's right, sir," Zen said.

"So I have an idea that will make everyone happy, especially our female viewers," Ho-jin said. Zen sighed. He could see where Kim was going with this.

"A simple thing…" Ho-jin said. "Just take off your shirt…" He whipped a finger in the air above his head, drawing an imaginary circle. "Take your shirt off for the scene, and everybody is happy."

Zen scratched the back of his neck. Usually he didn't mind taking off his clothes for a show. Heck, he knew he had a great body, a perfect body and, truth be told, he loved to show it off. He'd even been on stage fully nude before. What a rush that had been to see all those women - and yes, some of the men - drop their jaws with lust at the sight of him.

But today he hesitated. You see, just the other night, he and MC had gone to a tattoo parlor in Hongdae recommended by a friend and got the matching tattoos he'd designed, an infinity loop intertwined with two hearts. They both got them inked onto the left side of the chest, just above their hearts. MC's was perfectly arced on the curve of her left breast... God, Zen thought, trying to push the image out of his mind. All he needed right now was a fucking hard on.

Anyway, the problem was that Zen hadn't told anyone he'd gotten a tattoo yet - not his manager, not the director - not even Jaehee, who was probably going to hit the highest roof of all. Well, it looked like he didn't have much choice in the matter now. He was going to have to spill the beans.

"Um," Zen started. "You see, Mr. Kim, sir, the thing is…" Zen pulled down the collar of his shirt to show him. The fresh ink was visible under a clear bandage, as it wasn't even completely healed yet.

"A tattoo?" Ho-jin Kim said, his gruff eyebrows lifting with interest. "Fresh ink, eh? Nice design."

Zen was taken aback. Ho-jin Kim wasn't angry? Not even a little pissed? Wow, he even seemed, uh, to appreciate the work.

"Well, let's see what we can do," Ho-jin said, slapping Zen on the back. Then he raised his voice and called out to the rest of the room. "Can I see the writers in the writing room? And, everybody else, take five… or possibly more like fifteen."

Zen's jaw dropped in surprise and Lexi Ann caught his gaze, mouthing the words "What the fuck?" Zen just had time to shrug a response before Echo Girl was in his face.

"What's going on, Zen?" she said. "What was that you showed him? What did you do?"

"None of your business, Kyungju," he said, walking over to his locker to grab his water bottle. She followed, her high heels clicking behind him like a tracking device.

"Why did he look down your shirt?" she said. "What's there?"

Zen turned to look at Echo Girl, taking a long swig of his water. God, he was so sick of this woman. "Kyungju," he said. "Now might be a good time to go over your lines, don't you think?"

Echo Girl's face turned even more sour, if that was even possible. "Don't insult me, Ryu Hyun," she said, spitting out Zen's real name like it was a dirty word. Zen felt the heat of anger rise up in his chest. The last time he'd heard his real name come from a woman's lips, it had come from MC during an epic moment of passion, one he'd like to seal and savor in his memory forever. He surely didn't need Echo Girl to poison it with her vile lips now.

"Just can it, Echo Girl," Zen said, slamming his locker door. "No one wants to hear your voice… and, now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go call my girlfriend…" Zen pushed past Echo Girl, deliberately clipping her shoulder as he walked by.

"Ohhh!" Echo Girl said. "Well I never!"

 _So predictable_ , Zen thought, irritated. _Bitch._

\--- 

When Zen found a sufficiently quiet spot in the hallway, he dialed MC's number. She picked up right away.

"Well, hey there, my lovely Zen," she said. Zen's heart leapt at the sound of her sweet voice. How did she, after all this time, still manage to make him feel nervous?

"Hey yourself, Princess," he said. "How's the shoot going?"

Recently, with Saeyoung's help, Yoosung had been cast as a contestant in the hit series _Queer Eye for a Guy_ , a makeover show where five flamboyant gay boys converged on a straight boy's life to inevitably improve it. Each of the "Rad 5", as they were known, played the role of the contestant's guru according to their area of expertise. There was "Flad" the hair and grooming expert, "Bertie" the gourmet cook, "Marty" the design guy, "Stiles" - all things fashion - and "Shane" the life coach.

"Things are going relatively good, so far," MC said. "Stiles has got Yoosung wearing a leather jacket, and Flad put some gel in his hair…" MC paused, for what Zen thought was maybe a bit too long… "Yoosung looks pretty good, actually," she said.

"Huh," Zen said, his mind swerving fast into the jealousy lane. Did MC just say Yoosung looked good? How good? Zen wanted to know, but he didn't want to sound insecure, so he just said: "Well, is that so?"

"Yeah," MC said. "You'd be so proud of him, Zenny… He's a regular you…"

"A regular me?" Zen croaked. _Oh thanks_ , he thought, _that makes me feel so much better_. "Ha ha…" he said, out loud. "Sounds like the kid is growing up…"

"Mmm…" MC said vaguely, in a way that drove Zen crazy. MC didn't seem to notice, because she went on. "Well, you know how the Rad 5 always pick an event or something to showcase the contestant's transformation?"

"Mmm hmm…" Zen said. He'd only seen the show only a couple of times, but it always culminated with a big smash event that allowed the Rad 5 to show off their work and the contestant to introduce his newly-improved self to his community. Zen remembered one episode where a former pack-rat bachelor turned lady killer hosted a beachside barbecue, and finally got the guts to tell his neighbor - a cute bubbly blond - that he liked her. Zen recalled another episode where a once painfully introverted violinist, newly transformed into a sort of serenading stud, performed a birthday solo show at a high class private club in New York City for his long-time workmate crush... Wait, Zen thought, why was it so important to Yoosung that MC be on set with him for _Queer Eye for a Guy_? What was Yoosung planning? Zen shook away the thought… No, that was impossible...

 _Who has the matching tattoos?_ Zen quickly reminded himself. _Who makes her cum like a god?_ Zen repeated these phrases like mantras to himself as he anxiously raked his fingers through his silver hair. God, he was trying to be a good sport about it all, but to be honest, this whole MC-helping-Yoosung-thing was really fucking killing him.

"Well, the Rad 5 want to use the upcoming RFA party as an opportunity to reveal the 'new Yoosung'…" MC said. His Princess was talking, but Zen could barely hear her. He was too altogether consumed with the whirl of his own anxious thoughts. Already, he was picturing MC's fingers digging deep into the "new" Yoosung's gelled-into-bedhead-perfect blond hair…

"Yeah?" Zen said, trying to keep one ear in the conversation but failing because he just couldn't shake the image of Yoosung moving himself down on top of her...

"Zen?" MC said, sounding annoyed. "Are you even listening to me right now?"

"Um, yeah," Zen said, attempting to pull himself away from the MC/Yoosung softcore porn rolling full-on in his mind.

"...Or are you too busy being jealous?" MC said. "Because if you're being jealous of Yoosung, then that's just ridiculous…"

Zen sighed. Busted. She knew him all too well at this point. "Yeah, I know," he said. "It's stupid… I just can't help it sometimes…"

"Yoosung's got nothing on you, baby," MC said, using the voice she uses in bed.

"Yeah?" Zen said, smiling a little. She didn't have to say that, or even say it in that way, but it was just what he needed to hear.

"Yeah," she said, like it was God's truth and everyone knew it. "I love you and you alone."

Man, she was so sweet, Zen thought. How was it that he got so lucky?

"So, how's it going with Echo Girl today anyway?" MC asked, a moment later.

Zen sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Let's just say that she's a lot, damn."

"I'm sorry, babe," MC said. "Want me to come over there and beat her up?"

Zen laughed. "Nah, that's OK… I think I can handle it." He paused, smiling into the phone. "But thanks, though, for offering to defend my honor, Princess."

"It's my pleasure," MC said. "Speaking of pleasure, when am I going to see you next, my lovely Zen?"

Zen smiled. "Wow, you really can't get enough of me, can you?"

"No," MC replied. "I really can't."

Hearing MC say those words made Zen feel tingly and warm all over. How could he have possibly been jealous of Yoosung, like even for a second? MC was his. They belonged together. When two people had a connection like they did, it was really stupid to be jealous. Zen needed to remember that.

"Well, then that's luck, then," Zen said, smiling. "Because I can't get enough of you, either."

They fell into an easy silence. Zen knew it was probably about time to make his way back to the set, but he just didn't want to hang up. He realized he could just sit there listening to her breathe all day long and be happy.

"Princess?" He said, finally. "You still there?"

"Yes, my lovely Zen," she replied. "I'm sorry... I was just listening to you breathe…" she giggled. "I know, so cheesy, right?"

Little did she know that Zen was smiling from ear to ear and looking a bit cheesy himself.

"I love you, MC," he said. God, his heart was just overflowing with feelings for this girl.

"And I love you, Ryu Hyun," she said back. "For always and always."

 _For always and always?_ Zen sighed. God, so damn cute! "For always and always and always…" he said back. He knew he sounded like a lovesick teenager, but really, he could give a damn.

Not a second later, the bell rang, calling everyone back to the set.

"Man," Zen said, sounding disappointed. "Damn, I gotta go... but I'll see you at home later? I'll make something tasty for dinner."

"Or, I could be something tasty..." MC said.

"Aw, man," Zen said, feeling the beast within him twitch and groan. He reached down and quickly readjusted his pants. "You naughty, pretty girl…"

"Wanna hear what I'm thinking right now?" MC asked.

Zen closed his eyes, letting them roll back into his head as he sighed. Yeah, damn, he wanted to hear what she was thinking, but he also had to get back on the set. The bell rang again - this time louder. Saved by the bell, Zen thought, literally.

"Damn, I really gotta go," Zen said. "Save it for later?"

"You know I will," MC said in a way that made Zen catch his breath. "Oh, and Zen?"

"Yeah, Princess?"

"Muah!" MC said, making a smacking sound into the phone. Did she just blow him a kiss over the phone? Zen thought. _God..._

"You're too damn cute, you know that?" Zen said, shaking his head and blushing a bit. "Muah yourself, Pretty Girl..."

As Zen hung up the phone and turned around to go back to the set, he saw Echo Girl leaning against the wall, just out of ear shot.

"How long have you been standing there?" he said, taken aback.

"Long enough to know how gross you two are…" Echo Girl said, and then she blew him a kiss. "Muah!"

Zen felt his ears turn hot with embarrassment as he watched her whip out a compact and begin reapplying her signature crimson-colored lipstick.

"You know that shade's all wrong for you," Zen said, coldly. It wasn't like him to be mean to a girl, but he just couldn't help himself. Somehow Kyungju made it easy. "It makes you look cheap."

Echo Girl turned to give him a sideways smirk. "Who asked you?" she said. "And who cares?" She snapped her compact closed and slithered off in the direction of the set room, rolling her hips. Zen waited, counting to ten, before he followed.

\--- 

When Zen got back to the set, the writers were just emerging from the meeting room. They were all looking smug and excited, which was unusual for them. Typically, the writers could be observed sneering at each other and arguing about what seemed like very important points. They almost always came out of the meeting room in some manner of chaos or, if it was really bad, complete silence. This time, however, was different. This time the writers were smiling. They were, in fact, actually shaking each other's hands and slapping each other on the back in a congratulatory fashion.

"What the fuck is going on?" Zen heard a woman's voice at his elbow. He turned to find Lexi Ann standing there, wiping the lenses of her glasses with a soft gray cloth. "Is the world ending or what?"

"Who knows?" Zen said, although he suddenly had a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"What the hell were you showing Kim?" Lexi Ann said, gesturing to Zen's chest.

"Oh, that..." Zen started. "Well, MC and I got matching tattoos…"

"Ha, what?! Lexi Ann exclaimed. "Does Jaehee know?" Then she smiled and put a hand on Zen's shoulder. "Nah, seriously, hon, I'm just joking," she said. "Really, that's so frickin' adorable...If Saeyoung ever did something like that, I'd..."

Before Lexi Ann could finish her sentence, Director Ho-jin Kim emerged from the meeting room clapping his hands. "All hands on deck!" he shouted. Everyone snapped to attention and began moving to the center of room to surround Director Kim.

When he had everybody's attention, Director Kim began explaining the reason behind the writer's meeting and outlined what was going to happen next. Immediately it became apparent why Director Kim had been so excited at the prospect of Zen's most recent expression of love. The tattoo had given him an idea. Instead of being a "problem", something to hide, the tattoo was an "opportunity". Upon approval by the writers, and the executive team, the tattoo would play an essential role in the narrative of _More Than Friends Season 2_.

Zen's jaw dropped in astonishment. _What?!_

Director Kim went on to explain how Jae-joon's impulsive decision to get a tattoo following the Season 1 breakup with Ji-Yoo made perfect sense. The infinity symbol, and the hearts, were a sound representation of his love for Ji-yoo, a symbolic, forever symbol of his love for the woman who had captured his heart.

Wait, Jae-joon's decision, WTF? Yeah, Director Kim had the basic idea right, Zen thought angrily, but for the totally wrong couple! Zen couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I mean, what woman could resist that level of expression of love and devotion?" Hi-jo Kim exclaimed with emotion.

Zen shook his bewildered head. Did they really think they were going to hijack this private thing that belonged to him and MC and exploit it for the show? They couldn't do that, could they? Zen didn't have to wait long to get his answer. His heart sank as the whole room, especially the writers, nodded, clapped and snapped their agreement.

"Wow…"

"Oooh…"

"Aww…"

Zen scanned the room. In one way or another, every single person present was somehow signaling their approval of the move… Except Lexi Ann, of course, who silently locked eyes with Zen in a way that just said "Gosh, dude, I'm sorry…"

"So, when am I getting my matching tattoo, Ho-ji?" Echo Girl said, delivering a sly sultry glance first to the director, then pointedly at Zen.

"Like NEVER!" Zen heard himself shout. Everybody stopped talking and turned to look in Zen's direction. His laser red eyes were hot with rage and focused on Echo Girl. "Trust me, Kyungju," he said, trying to keep his voice steady and clear. "You will NEVER get that tattoo…do you hear me? Because that tattoo belongs to me and MC, no one else… Do you understand?"

"Oh I understand, as in I hear the words that are coming out of your mouth," Echo Girl said, savoring the moment by running her tongue in a way she probably thought was seductive. "But I'm not sure I agree. Because it seems to me that Ji-Yoo would certainly run out and get that tattoo, too, as an expression of her undying love and re-commitment to their relationship..."

Zen bristled, feeling greatly irritated. He was, in fact, seething.

"Look, none of this is fucking real, Kyungju…" Zen said in a way you might explain it to a two-year-old. "Jae-joon and Ji-Yoo are just characters…This is all fake…" Zen gestured to the lights, the set, everything around them. "You and me…" he said, pointing back and forth between their two bodies. "We're not 'in love'... We're fiction… We're simply a story that those people..." Zen gestured to the writing room, where the writers had regathered and were uncorking a fresh bottle of champagne. "...We're just a story those people made up, are making up, or whatever, out of thin air…" Zen paused to hang his silver head and let out a long sigh. "In other words," he said. "This J-J super South Korea couple thing is complete bullshit."

Echo Girl seemed completely unphased. She simply straightened her back, crossed her arms and shot Zen a cold, hard, cruel look.

"Is it though, Loveyhubby?" Echo Girl cooed, playing at coy. "Our story… isn't it more real than real for a lot of people?"

"NO!" Zen shouted, surprising himself by slamming his hands on the kitchen table in Ji-Yoo's 'fake' apartment. "THIS is NOT real. But this..." Zen said, pausing for the big reveal and then pulling the collar of his shirt down so everyone could see. "This tattoo… THIS is real! It's a real fucking thing between me and my real fucking girlfriend…"

Zen knew he was being dramatic, but he didn't give a damn. This fucking mattered. He paused, attempting to make eye contact with each and every one of the camera operators, grips, make-up artists, assistants, assistants to assistants in the room. To his chagrin, everyone was standing around with open mouths and blank faces.

"Damn. Does this even matter to anyone? Does anyone even really give a shit?" Zen felt the tears of desperation stinging behind his eyes, but there was no way he was going to cry here, not now.

Echo Girl walked over to touch Zen's arm. "I guess not, Loveyhubby…" Echo Girl sighed, and then she giggled. "Looks like you and your 'real' girlfriend will just have to deal…"

Then Zen watched in slow motion as Echo Girl stood up on her tiptoes and planted a firm kiss on his cheek, leaving the red mark of her lips behind.

"Welcome to the big leagues, semi-famous model/actor boy," she cooed. "If you want to stay, you have to play…"

Zen felt his hands ball involuntarily into fists. He knew he wasn't the type to hit a girl, but man, oh man, Echo Girl sure knew how to push boundaries. _Breathe, man,_ he said to himself, _breathe._

Zen continued to breathe as he waited for a figure of authority to step in and defend him, to assure him that basic human rights were still intact, that money and power and privilege weren't running rampant in the modern world without checks and balances. His measured breathing met a silence he couldn't believe he was hearing.

Zen glanced in the direction of Director Kim, hoping for help, but he was already busy blocking out the next shot and unavailable for comment. Noting Echo Girl's self-assured smirk and the director's self-promoting actions, Zen's heart sunk further. He felt completely powerless and alone. _God, this fucking sucks,_ he thought. He felt so fucking small.

Echo Girl had all the money, all the power, all the influence in her corner… How could he possibly compete with that? Zen sighed, dreading how he was going to have to explain it all to MC, how their singular declaration of love had been equated to the Jae-joon-Ji-Yoo (aka J-J super couple) love affair that had so captured the hearts of all of South Korea… His heart sunk so far into his chest when he thought of MC's face when he told her the news. Although Zen knew this wasn't actually a betrayal on his part, he could easily see how it could be perceived as one. He knew that her heart was fragile. He should be the one able to protect her, he thought.

Then, just as he was contemplating and brooding his demise, Zen's red eyes lit up. Of course! Why didn't he think of it before?

_"All the money, all the power and all the influence in her corner…"_

_Damn,_ Zen thought, shaking his head. Well, didn't he also have access to someone with all the money, all the power, all the influence in his corner? And didn't Director Kim say something about the executive team needing to sign their approval in order to move forward with this idea? What if they didn't?

Zen sighed, thinking the matter through. No, it wasn't the best option… For sure, he didn't like it… But Jumin was family, and he might help him...

No, Zen thought, correcting himself, he _knew_ Jumin would help him… If only he would ask… He had to.

Zen's thoughts flashed forward to all the news articles, MeTube videos, memes, etc. that would popularize and demonize the tattoo that he and MC now shared, the very thing that he himself designed as a talisman to protect their relationship against such attacks. Echo Girl was right about one thing: the J-J super couple of South Korea was, in a sick way, "real" for a lot of people, and if the network put Zen and MC's tattoo on TV and said it was Jae-joon and Ji-yoo's, it would more or less make it so. Zen bent his his head forward, letting it sink into his hands.

Zen thought about MC. He thought about himself. He thought about how, above everything else, they deserved this love. Actor or no actor, he had a right to keep some parts of his life private, god damnit, and well MC... Zen smiled as he thought of her smile, so pure… One of the things he loved most about her was the way she put others before herself without even thinking... The way she never asked, never thought to ask, for anything in return... Zen squeezed his red eyes shut a moment as he let a few hot tears escape the creases of his eyelids… Who else left in the world was so selfless? A heart like hers, Zen thought, needed to stay pure, to be protected.

Zen set his beautiful mouth into firm, determined line. Echo Girl, Director Kim, the fans… They had no business, they had no right to take this away. MC & Zen belonged together. _Mine, ours, us,_ he thought.

 _Damn,_ Zen thought, his red eyes narrowing. _I'm not taking off my shirt. Not this time. I'm just fucking not._

Without a word to anyone, Zen ducked back out into the narrow hallway to find a quiet place. Then he dialed Jumin's private number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Thanks (as always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. ... I really like the comments & feedback... it really makes a difference, helps "plus" my stories, take them to new levels I may not have considered on my own. Fair warning: got a big work thing coming up so updates may be less frequent in the next couple of weeks... I hope to avoid that, but we'll see. There are a lot of great things on the horizon, including the latest RFA party with Jumin's new friend and the reveal of the transformed Yoosung... Also, what's up with MC's ex? (yup sorry, he's going to be a problem...)


	25. More Guy Talk

To Zen's surprise, Jumin picked up right away. "Zen…" he said in a smooth, measured voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Zen paused to scratch the back of his neck, maybe stopping to reconsider what he was about to do next. Was he really basically going to eat crow right now and ask the Trust Fund Kid for help? MC's bright, sweet smile flashed into his mind, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Damn right he was.

"I'm just going to cut to the chase, dude," Zen said. It was the equivalent of having to jump off the high dive and into the water - at some point you just had to do it. "I'm not happy about it, but I need your help."

"Why do you need to be happy about asking for my help?" Jumin asked. Zen imagined him leaning back in his chair seriously looking confused. God, he was a serious piece of work.

"Look, Jumin," Zen sighed. "I'm really not in the mood…"

"What, no defamation or disparaging remarks?" Jumin asked in such a way that Zen couldn't tell if he was mocking him or not. "Should I be concerned?"

Zen sighed. "Just listen, ok?"

So Jumin listened as Zen described the earlier events of the day… How Echo Girl had been an extra pain in the ass all day… How they'd been working for hours and were still trying to finish shooting the same scene… How Director Kim had gotten the bright idea for Zen to take off his shirt for the scene so everything would go smoother... How the prospect of taking off his shirt forced Zen to confess that he got a new tattoo…

"You put permanent artwork on your body..." Jumin said, sounding concerned.

"Well, yeah… that's what they call a tattoo…" Zen replied.

"Tattoos are for whores and sailors," Jumin said.

Zen laughed. "Well, maybe a hundred years ago, but not today… Now a lot of people have them."

"I assume Jaehee knows," Jumin mused. "I wonder why she did not inform me…"

Why did everyone in the world worry about what Jaehee would think about his tattoo? It's not her body, even if she did think that, as a fan, she'd laid a certain claim to it. Still, Zen had to admit, he wasn't looking forward to her finding out about it.

"No, Jaehee doesn't know," Zen said, sighing. "Not yet anyway." No, that wasn't going to be a fun conversation. Zen tried to imagine how Jaehee would react… Would she get outright angry or would it be the silent treatment? Nah, Zen thought. It was more likely she'd get passive aggressive about it. She wouldn't immediately say anything at all, but then never let him live it down with an endless stream of off-hand comments. Death by a million cuts.

"Zen," Jumin said in that business-like tone Zen loved so well. "I'm curious as to why you would choose to alter your body in such a… irreversible fashion."

"Is that a question, dork face?" Zen said. He was starting to get annoyed. Why did that arrogant jerk always have to phrase everything like it was a statement? It sounded so, well… arrogant.

"Now there's the Zen to which I am accustomed," Jumin said, chuckling softly. "Yes, that is the kind of statement that requires an answer."

_Still not a question,_ Zen thought, angrily. "Do you know what love is, Trust Fund?"

There was a significant pause on the other end of the line before the CEO-in-line finally cleared his throat.

"Well, if you do indeed intend for me to answer the question," Jumin sighed, sounding a little bored. "Love is a feeling coupled with the proximity of the object, making the object either a source of great joy and overwhelming desire or a constant reminder of abject loneliness, depending."

"Wow," Zen said, his red eyes popping in surprise. "That is probably the grimmest definition of love I have ever heard, Trust Fund. Somehow you manage to make it sound unappealing." _And seriously,_ Zen thought. _What's this thing about "the object"? WTF..._

Jumin sighed. "Well, yes, I do struggle to understand what the hubbub is all about…"

"The hubbub?" Zen blurted, not bothering to contain his laughter. _What a freaking douche_. "What are you like, from the Irish old country? God…"

"However, I am starting to become more accustomed to the potential benefits of such feelings," Jumin went on. "For instance…"

"Wait, whoa there, cowboy," Zen said, interrupting. He was pretty sure he didn't want to hear the details regarding Jumin's love life, which was strange because he usually liked to act as a source of expertise on the topic and give advice to anyone and everyone, whether they wanted it or not. "Let's just leave it at 'yes, MC and I got matching tattoos', OK, Trust Fund?"

"So you defiled her body too, then…" Jumin said, sounding irritated.

"What? She made the choice…" Zen started and then stopped. "No, forget it. I don't need to explain anything to you."

"You know, most people just buy the woman they love jewelry," Jumin said, and then paused. "Oh, but I suppose an actor's salary doesn't cover such discretionary costs…"

Man, this dude really knew how to piss him off. "I didn't want to buy her _jewelry_ …I wanted to show her my love in a unique, lasting forever kind of way," Zen said, thinking longingly of the way MC's tattoo heaved up and down with her breathing while they made love... How beads of sweat on her skin made it glisten, rolling downward between her breasts. Every time he saw her tattoo while they were in bed, in the shower, peeking out from the open collar of her shirt, he got to think about how much they belonged together… How they were a set, a pair. _Damn,_ he thought. _So much better than jewelry_.

"Well, I suppose that is one way to say forever," Jumin said, wryly. "However, I would still have just gotten her diamonds."

"Whatever," Zen said, trying to brush off his irritation. He still needed Jumin's help, after all. "Look dude, I still need your help…"

"If it's money you need…"

"It's not money," Zen said, feeling his irritation level rise. "Look, just listen OK?"

Zen went on to tell the businessman the rest of the story… How when he showed Director Kim his tattoo, he got really excited and called a meeting with the writers… How they emerged from that meeting room with a new plot line for _More Than Friends Season 2_ … How they planned to exploit the tattoo that he and MC shared…

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, Zen," Jumin said when Zen got to the part of the story where Echo Girl was threatening to get her own tattoo and make it a matching threesome. "But I am unfamiliar with the process of tattoo removal…"

"Look," Zen said, utterly exasperated. This man, a member of Mensa? Really? How? "I… we… don't want them removed."

Zen closed his eyes red weary eyes and massaged them with his fingers. Why was talking to this man so painful? Simple human concepts seemed to evade him. Desperately he reached for a comparison or analogy Jumin might understand.

"It's like... What if someone liked Elizabeth the 3rd so much that they wanted to take her away from you and make her theirs?" Zen said, hopefully.

"Well, that has happened once before…" Jumin said.

"Yes, yes," Zen coaxed, encouragingly. "...and how did that make you feel?"

The other end of the line was silent for several moments. While Zen waited he glanced carefully over each shoulder to make sure he was alone. There was no way he was going to give Echo Girl the opportunity to humiliate him again. Finally the businessman spoke.

"Zen," Jumin said, his voice sounding strange, maybe a little unsure and tentative. Zen picked up on the difference right away. "I thought we agreed we wouldn't speak of this…"

"What are you talking about, Jumin?" Zen said, cocking his silver-haired head to one side. He thought about it for a minute, and then a light bulb exploded in his head. _Oh, god_ , he sighed. _MC_.

"Answering your questions would require full disclosure on my part…" Jumin went on.

_Shit,_ Zen thought. Was he unintentionally stumbling again upon Jumin's warped sense of emotions, especially in relation to romantic love? Not to mention he most seriously didn't want to hear about anything that happened between Jumin and MC before they were together… or did he? A sudden fear, a wild apprehension, gripped his heart. Before he could make a decision about what he did and didn't want to hear, it was too late because Jumin was still talking.

"It felt as if a gigantic emptiness had been created within me… but at the same time it was filled with something new…" he was saying.

Zen felt his jaw drop and his stomach began to churn. It was like watching a car crash or something just as awful happen in slow motion. He couldn't turn away. He couldn't stop looking. He just felt compelled to let it happen, and so Jumin went on.

"I was filled with such despair but she was there, always helping, always comforting…" Jumin continued, sounding awfully wistful.

_Wait, what does he mean comforting?_ Zen thought. His mind began to swirl in directions he didn't like. Jumin's hand cupping the back of MC's head, lifting her lips to his face… No, it couldn't be… MC and Jumin? No, that was impossible…

Jumin was suddenly very quiet on the other end of the line. Zen swallowed hard, feeling every anxious moment tick by, waiting for him to go on. Goddamnit, why wasn't he saying anything?

"Jumin?" Zen all but croaked after several moments. "Are you still there?" Zen couldn't believe how agitated he was. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he was sure Jumin could hear it. Was he really on the brink of losing… well everything?

"Now, really Zen…" Jumin said, softly and in an almost patronizing voice. "Would you really never forgive her? For something that happened before you were together?"

"What the fuck are you saying, Jumin?" Zen demanded. "Did you do something with my girlfriend?"

"Answer my question," Jumin said, a little more sternly, sounding a little more smug. "If I had, would it change your feelings for her now?"

"Just tell me what you did, you arrogant jerk…" Zen seethed through his teeth.

"Tell me first," Jumin urged. "Would you still have her?"

Zen felt his body go 0-60 with anger, no rage, coupled with fear. Confronted with the question, Zen didn't know what he thought about it. He didn't want to think about it. The world as he knew it was about to blow up in his face.

Then just as quickly as it had come, his anger subsided. Like a great calm comes sometimes just after a storm, he knew. Of course he still loved her. Damn, he knew it didn't change a thing.

Zen remembered how he had felt just hours earlier, the last time he was feeling jealous and what MC had said. "If you're feeling jealous of Yoosung, now that's ridiculous," she had said. "I love you and only you." He remembered in particular her voice and the way she said it. He remembered thinking about the strength of their connection and how stupid it was to be jealous. No, there was no way he was going to let anything stand between them. Nothing that happened now. Certainly nothing that happened then.

"Of course I'd still have her!" Zen shouted, filled with renewed passion, into the phone. "You think one petty kiss…" God, he hoped it was only one petty kiss… "Could change a thing between us? Because if you think that, you're more stupid than I thought!"

To Zen's surprise, he heard Jumin begin to chuckle. "Good, good job, Zen," he said. "You're making progress…"

Zen's red eyes went wide and his heart beat even more wildly. "What the fuck are you talking about, you arrogant piece of shit?"

"It's good to see you're finally getting a handle on your jealousy…" Jumin said.

"What were you testing me just now?" Zen said. Literally he was so angry that his vision was starting to blur and he was seeing red.

"You have to admit MC is too great a prize to go wasted," Jumin said in a calm, matter-of-fact voice. "If I can't have her, I will do everything in my power to make certain that the man who does is worthy… " He paused. "Why, Zen… I'm doing you a favor."

"A favor? What the fuck, Jumin?!" Zen was shouting into the phone. He didn't care who could hear him now.

"Yes, a favor," Jumin said. "You are aware that a man's jealous nature will ruin a relationship."

Wow, Zen thought. Just wow. So Mr. No Emotions now thought he was the go-to lovelorn, credible enough to dole out his expert advice on healthy relationships. Man, this man was twisted beyond repair. Zen shook his silver-haired head in confusion.

"So, you didn't kiss her, then?" Zen asked. He wanted, he needed to know for sure.

"Of course I didn't kiss her," Jumin said.

"You're a sadistic pig, you know that?" Zen said.

"Yes," Jumin said with a sigh. "It's likely why she would not have me."

"What?" Zen was really confused now.

Jumin was quiet for a moment, then he spoke. "I think I frightened her."

"You what?" Zen asked.

"I'd rather not go into the details," Jumin said. "Suffice it to say, it's a result I would like to avoid in the future…"

"Dude, you know there won't be a next time," Zen said, all the sudden feeling tired. They'd been over this. "She's my girl now, end of story."

"Zen, I realize we have an agreement, and I've learned to accept that," Jumin said. "I am not speaking in reference to MC…"

Zen realized all at once who Jumin was talking about… He was likely talking about Mi-Sun, the woman Saeyoung and Sarean had put in so much effort to find. The plan was for Zen, MC, Jaehee and the rest of the members to "stage" another attempt by Unknown to infiltrate the RFA in order to give Jumin another chance at love - and it looked like it maybe was working. Like MC and Lexi Ann before her, Mi-Sun was in the midst of planning a benefit party for charity. For the past week or so, they had all been communicating via the Messenger App and all seemed to be going smoothly, especially where Jumin and Mi-Sun were concerned.

"The RFA party is in less than a week…" Jumin was saying. "We haven't met in person yet, but I am already feeling strong urges and inclinations…" He paused, as if waiting for something, although Zen had no idea what. Then he went on. "Like I said, I know my past actions in regard to these urges were not ideal… Agh!"

Zen thought he heard hand slap against skin, like maybe Jumin had slapped himself in the forehead? He was about to ask if the businessman was OK when Jumin resumed.

"I realize now that perhaps I should've have let her go home sooner, that perhaps I shouldn't have insisted that she stay..." Jumin sounded truly perplexed. "I just couldn't bear to let her go…"

"Wait," Zen said. "Are you talking about MC again?"

Jumin was quiet for a moment, but Zen knew he was still there. He could hear him breathing, taking in deep, intermittent gasps of air. He seemed distressed, upset, like he was fighting something internally.

"You still there, Trust Fund?" Zen said, finally.

"Yes, I'm still here," Jumin replied with a note of irritation in his voice. "Damn it, Zen, this is already difficult… Feel free to step in at any time…"

All the sudden, Zen understood what Jumin wanted, what he was trying to do in his socially hopeless, backwards sort of way.

"Dude, are you like trying to ask me for help right now?" Zen asked. "Like do you want my advice?"

Zen heard the businessman sigh and then swallow on the other end of the line. "Like I said before, I need to make sure I approach the object of my affection in a more appropriate way."

Zen smiled to himself. Of course it would be impossible for Jumin Han to ever really ask for help. _Classic jerk form_ , Zen thought. He decided to overlook it.

"Ok, well rule number one: stop referring to her as an object…" Zen said.

"I can do that," Jumin said.

"Rule number two: stop trying to control everything," Zen sighed, remembering how Jumin held MC hostage at his penthouse for days under the guise that Rika's apartment wasn't safe. "Remember what I told you when MC was at your penthouse? I said you had to let her make her own decisions, that you had to let her go home. I stand by that statement."

"And you see how well that turned out," Jumin grumbled. "For you…"

"Well, that's the thing," Zen said. "One thing you may not have considered is that it's hard for all of us." He paused, thinking about how hard it had been for him when MC was staying at a Jumin's penthouse. God, he had been so afraid that Jumin would take advantage of her then, or worse, that MC would decide she really liked that arrogant jerk. "That's a lot about what love is - it's taking a risk. I can't promise you you won't get hurt, but I can promise you it won't go well if you get all 'Jumin' on her."

Jumin sighed. "Fair point."

"Just try to think of her first, before you think of yourself," Zen said. "I know that's a stretch for you, Trust Fund, but maybe you got it in you."

God, Jumin really was a piece of work. Honestly Zen knew it would take a really special and patient person to put up with his sometimes crooked and sick behavior. Whoever that girl was, and maybe it was Mi-Sun, would have to be capable of seeing the more vulnerable, well-intentioned man who seemed to be trapped inside the more visible arrogant asshole self he projected to the world.

Zen sighed, shaking his head. Maybe, just maybe he was starting to understand how Jumin's twisted, mangled mind worked, how he just might think that baiting Zen's jealousy so sadistically might actually be instructive.

"You were really trying to help me just now, weren't you?" Zen said.

"Yes, of course, Zen," Jumin said, and then more cautiously. "We're… friends."

"Wow, Trust Fund, you got a lot to learn," Zen said. "You know how angry you made me just now? I could have killed you."

"Well, you have to admit my methods were effective," Jumin said. "You made the choice, under dire circumstances, to turn away from your jealous impulses and trust MC."

Zen sighed. Whether his methods were effective or not, that wasn't the point… But would Jumin ever understand that?

God, Zen really hoped that Mi-Sun was the one… if only to rescue him from moments like these.

Suddenly Zen remembered the original purpose of his call.

"Hey Trust Fund," He said. "I still need you to do something for me…"

Zen explained how the new plot line for _More Than Friends Season 2_ had to be approved by the executive team.

"That's you, dude," Zen said. "Just come up with a reason - any reason - why it can't happen and then it's over."

"I'm sure there's a legal reason that can be found to handle your problem," Jumin said. "I'll get Jaehee on it right away."

Zen felt a little bad about making more work for Jaehee, but not enough to say anything about it. He'd make it up to her later, somehow… Maybe with an autographed poster of himself, with his shirt off, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Aw, Jumin & Zen... Their relationship is so complicated ;-) Coming soon the next RFA party (and the new Yoosung!), more MC & Zen cuteness, and what's going to happen with MC's ex? Thanks so much (as always) for reading, commenting, reviewing, etc.


	26. Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm On Fire...

It was just two days before the big RFA party and I still hadn't found the right dress. It wasn't for lack of trying. Every day for the past week I went out on my lunch break in search of a dress. Every day I came back empty-handed. I'd been to the mall, the thrift shop, even the expensive boutique stores on the main drag. Every dress I "found" turned out to have something wrong with it as soon as I got it on my body. Either it was too short or not short enough. Too baggy or too tight in places. For whatever reason, clothes just looked better on the hanger or in the window than they did on me.

"Let me go with you," Zen had said one night after dinner as we were clearing away the dishes. He'd made a manicotti with spicy red pepper sauce. It was, of course, delicious.

"Nah, that's OK," I said, waving him off. Not that Zen didn't have an excellent sense of style - he did - but he couldn't help but put everything I tried on through his "other guy" lens.

"Uh, isn't that, uh, too, uh…" he'd stutter as soon as I came out of the dressing room. His left eyebrow would go up and his head would tilt to one side. Whatever it was, it was always too low cut, too short, or just plain too sexy.

"I know what I'm thinking," he'd always say. "Just imagine what the other guys are thinking…"

I'd always cut him off at this point. "There are no other guys..." I'd reassure him. Then I'd stand up on tip toe and kiss him on the cheek.

Zen's perfect forehead would wrinkle with concern, yet he'd always smile and say, "Yeah, but still…"

So ultimately I didn't want Zen's help finding a dress for the RFA party because I didn't want to end up looking matronly. Plus, I wanted to surprise him. I wanted that moment when I emerged from the bedroom, when his red eyes got smokey as he looked me up and down.

I glanced down at my watch. Twenty more minutes until lunch was over. I had one more store in mind before I gave up the hunt and resigned myself to wearing one of the dresses I'd worn to one of the two parties before. I made my way toward a vintage shop located on an alley off 86th Avenue. It was a little-known shop that was only open sometimes, only when the owner, a middle-aged expat American felt like being there. I hoped it was open today, because it was really my last and only hope. I sucked in a breath of relief when I rounded the corner to see the bright orange and yellow sandwich board positioned outside the door. As I got closer I could make out the text scripted elegantly in English. "Come on in, dollface. We got the sexy you're looking for…" God, I hoped so.

As soon as the door opened the smell of dusty closet hit me. The entire store wasn't much bigger than a walk-in closet so I wasn't that surprised. The owner was sitting behind a glass counter filled with second-hand jewelry, sunglasses and elegant hair combs. She was bent over a magazine, but she looked up when she heard the door.

"What can I do you for, honey?" She said. Her dirty dishwater blonde curly hair was streaked with gray and hung loosely at her shoulders. I noticed when she smiled that she had nice, kind eyes. Typically, I would never accept a salesperson's offer of help, but something about this woman's manner today totally made me say "yes" this time.

"I'm looking for a dress," I said, cautiously. "For an evening event, a party…"

The woman perked up immediately and scuttled out from behind the counter. I could see she was wearing a hot pink pencil skirt with a pair of perilously high heels the exact same shade of pink.

"Well, well, well," she said. "You've got quite a figure… some good curves for us to work with…"

I felt my cheeks grow hot as she looked me up and down, suddenly feeling very self-conscious of my body.

"You know, I've got just the thing…" she said as she turned around to a rack of clothing behind her and plucked out a dress. It was a short strapless number, the most gorgeous shade of iridescent midnight blue.

"This dress has been waiting for you," the shopkeeper said, giggling a little, which was weird but somehow endearing. "Well, waiting for you and those boobs." She motioned toward the dressing room. "Go on, honey," she said. "Try it on."

It took me more than a few minutes to get out of my work clothes and then wiggle into the dress. I held my breath as I stepped into the skirt and pulled the stretchy fabric upwards over my hips and then over my breasts. It was really more like putting on a sock, and it fit like a glove. Not too tight and not too loose, it felt perfect and, to my surprise, actually comfortable. I was almost too afraid to look in the mirror… I loved the way it felt, but what if it didn't look good?

Stealing my courage and ready for disappointment, I lifted my head to peek in the glass and smiled. _Wow,_ I thought. It's not a thought I often have, especially in relation to my body and its physical shape, but honestly I thought I looked stunning. The dress made me look as good as I felt. The shiny blue fabric hugged my hips and cinched at the waist in all the right places. I also liked the way the bodice of the dress lifted my breasts. Not only was I sporting a fair bit of cleavage, my new tattoo was on prominent display. I turned around to check out the back view, glancing over my right shoulder and then my left. _Wow,_ I thought. _I actually have an ass_.

"How's it fit, honey?" I heard the shopkeeper's voice call from behind the curtain. "Come on out and show Auntie Paula…"

I stepped outside the curtain to reveal myself.

"See?" She said, shaking her head so her curls bounced. "Didn't I tell you? It's perfect."

"Auntie Paula" was right. I could already picture Zen's face when he saw me, his reaction playing out in two parts: First, his red eyes would settle into a lusty gaze. Then he'd shoot me a look of wariness and say: "Babe, don't you think…"

I smiled. It was perfect. "I love it," I said. Then my smile dissipated as I had another thought. Surely a dress that looked this good also had to be expensive.

"How much is it?" I asked. I was already getting that feeling in my stomach, the slightly dizzy and sick feeling I got when I knew I was going to buy something even when I couldn't afford it. I felt around for the price tag.

The shopkeeper must have caught the look on my face. "Oh honey," she said, smiling. "Don't you worry about a thing… That dress is so yours I can't bear to charge you for it."

My eyes popped wide. "Wait a second," I said, feeling a little confused. "What do you mean?"

"Honey, I'm giving you that dress," she said, gesturing to my image in the mirror. "Can't you see it's already yours?"

My mouth dropped open in surprise. "You're giving me this dress?" I said. "Like for free?"

"Free of charge," the woman assured me. "That's one of the perks of being your own boss… I do what I want, when I want, and I want to give you that dress." This time when she smiled I saw that she had the most adorable space between her teeth.

"Oh that's very generous," I said, running my fingers over the fabric. "But I don't think I can accept…" Although I said this on the outside, I really, really wanted to accept on the inside.

"Just say yes," the shopkeeper said. "Honey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

 _A gift what?_ I thought. Americans. They had the strangest way of saying things… Although I think I got the gist.

"I don't know what to say," I said, finally.

"How about 'thank you'?" The older woman said. She was still smiling, the lines around her eyes making little crow's feet.

"Oh yes!" I said, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Of course!" I said quickly. "Thank you!"

A few moments later, I stepped out of the dressing room changed back into my work clothes. "Auntie Paula" was standing back behind the counter. She had the dress all packed up and ready to go.

"Really," I said. "I can't thank you enough… Is there really nothing I can do for you?"

The older woman smiled, a little crookedly with maybe some kind of memory behind it. "Well, I guess you could promise me you'll get laid in that dress…" She giggled, making that weird, yet adorable sound again.

I felt my cheeks flush as an image of Zen flashed in my mind… His hands on my bare thighs, pushing the hem of the blue skirt up and back…

"I think I can do that," I said, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. Now I could almost feel Zen pulling on the edges of my panties, wiggling them down until they slid easily over my knees...

 _Hell yeah,_ I thought, _I can get laid in this dress, no problem_.

\---

"What's in the bag?" Zen said later, when he picked me up on his motorcycle from work. We were going to meet Saeyoung, Lexi Ann, Yoosung and Sarean at Prince Edward Su, a Karaoke bar in Hongdae. Everyone was excited to get a look at the "new" Yoosung. Even though the official "reveal" event for _Queer Eye For A Guy_ was the RFA party on Saturday, Yoosung had agreed to a "sneak peek" event the night before. The chat room was a-buzz with the topic the night after the _Queer Eye For A Guy_ makeover was filmed.

Yoosung: I don't want the first time you guys see the 'new' me to be weird…

Yoosung: [anxious emoji]

Zen: What are you so worried about?

Zen: When it comes to hygiene and your personal level of style, there's only room for improvement.

Yoosung: [angry emoji]

Yoosung: You're just worried about not being the only hot guy in the RFA anymore…

Saeyoung: What do you mean "only"?

Saeyoung: Because there's lots of hot over here...

Lexi Ann: I don't think he means 'nerd hot', honey...

Lexi Ann: [heart emoji]

Saeyoung: But 'nerd hot' is better, right?

Saeyoung: Lexi Ann? MC? Come on, back me up

MC: Erm… I think I have to go wash my hair...

Lexi Ann: LOL

[MC has left the chat room]

There was no way I was getting anywhere near involved in that conversation, so I logged out at first opportunity. All I needed was Zen to start asking questions about what it meant to be "nerd hot", etc.

Back in the parking lot after work, Zen was still looking at the little brown bag I was holding in my hand. "Is that it?" he said, raising one eyebrow. "Because if that's your dress, that's an awfully small bag."

I leaned in to kiss him on the lips, lingering a little longer than usual in hopes of creating a distraction. No such luck.

"So, is that it?" he said again as soon as our lips parted. He reached for the bag. "Let me see…"

Instinctively, I pulled the bag away, sticking it behind my back. "Nuh-uh," I said with a teasing smile. "You can't see… not until tomorrow night...I want it to be a surprise."

"Aw, come on," he pleaded. "I promise to _act_ surprised tomorrow night…" he said, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "I am, after all, a great actor."

"An 'up and coming' actor," I corrected. "Nice try, but it's still not happening."

I stuffed the bag into the trunk of his motorbike along with the satchel that contained my work clothes. Since I knew we were going out, I'd brought along another outfit. I was wearing my favorite "going out" jeans and a black top with flowy sleeves. It had a scooped neck just low enough to reveal the top half of my new tattoo. I caught Zen looking at it with hungry eyes as I zipped up my jacket.

"Do you like what you see?" I said, peeking up at him from under my lashes.

"I love what I see," he said, bending down to pull my chin upwards toward his face. His lips were soft and the kiss was slow, deliberate. Instantly, I felt my heart beat faster inside my chest and my thighs begin to burn. How was this even possible? After just one kiss, I was already ready to give myself over. Just like that.

"We should probably go," I muttered between kisses.

"Probably," Zen said. "But you taste so good…"

I put both hands on his arms and reluctantly pushed him to arm's length. "Come on," I said with a note of resolve. "Let's go."

\--- 

When we got to the bar, Yoosung was already there. I almost didn't see him. One, because his hair was slicked back and he was wearing that leather jacket that Stiles, the fashion expert from _Queer Eye For A Guy_ , picked out for him, and two because he was talking to a girl.

"Is that really Yoosung?" Zen said, whispering in my ear. "Seriously? And, is that a girl he's talking to?"

"Try to disguise the shock and awe in your voice when you speak to him, ok, babe?" I said, squeezing his hand. "He's a delicate flower...and although he'd probably never admit it, your opinion means a lot."

"Yeah, sure it does," Zen said, rolling his eyes. "Is he wearing like, jeans and a button-down shirt? Man, I think that could be considered a real outfit…"

Yoosung was wearing a button-down light purple shirt open at the neck and what looked like designer jeans. My eyebrows raised a little in surprise when he turned around. Who knew our little boy had such a cute butt? I quickly looked away before Zen could catch me looking.

The girl Yoosung was talking to was young, possibly a first year student, with straight blonde hair almost as light as Yoosung's. As we got closer, I could hear her bright, bubbly giggle.

"Oh seriously?" She was saying as she lightly touched Yoosung's arm, keeping her hand resting on his forearm. "You can't have known that…it must've been so scary."

"That's what it's like, being the Guild Master," Yoosung said. "There are some tough calls to be made sometimes."

I heard Zen's voice in my ear. "Oh man," he groaned. "Kiss of death...He's talking to her about LOLOL"

"She doesn't seem to mind much..." I said, smiling to myself. It was kind of amazing. It seemed that the "Rad 5" had indeed turned our little Yoosung into a lady killer.

"Damn, it's frightening what a little gel can do," Zen said with at wow-that's-fascinating tone to his voice.

"Right?!" I said, pulling him in the other direction toward the bar. "Come on… Let's leave Yoosung to his business and get a drink."

"Gladly…" Zen said.

After we got our drinks, a beer for Zen and a white wine for me, we went to claim our karaoke room for the evening. Once settled, we started going through the songbook while we waited for Saeyoung and the others to arrive.

"You're going to sing tonight, right, Princess?" Zen said.

Last time we were here Echo Girl showed up and sang a couple of duet songs with Zen. It was primarily a marketing stunt, at least on Zen's part, and so they performed the songs in character as Jae-joon and Ji-yoo from _More Than Friends_. The whole scene seemed so real, I'd gotten jealous and drunk and/or got sick from a tainted glass of wine I got from Jumin and, well, it was awful. Anyway, for obvious reasons, I hadn't gotten a chance to sing that night, and ever since, Zen has been bugging me, making me promise that I needed to sing next time. Looks like tonight i my night, I thought. I guess I was going for it.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Sure, I'll sing." I don't know why, but I was feeling nervous. I liked to sing, and even was part of a three-piece rock band in high school where I was the lead singer. I guess it was just that, well, Zen was so good. I was definitely intimidated.

I was just about to start combing through the songbook to figure out what song I would sing when I heard a loud, slightly off-pitch sing-song voice behind me. I turned around to see Saeyoung looking a little manic and grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey-ya!" He called, his red head bouncing.

"Hiya everybody," Lexi Ann said, scooching in the doorway beside him. "Sorry about this guy in advance… He got into the Ph D. Pepper…"

"It's alright," I said, leaning in to give Lexi Ann a hug. "We actually like him this way…"

"Oh, do you?" Lexi Ann said. "Good. Then can I send him home with you two?"

Saeyoung bear tackled Lexi Ann from behind and swooped her up off the floor. She shrieked with surprise. "You love me!" Saeyoung taunted. "You know you do!"

"Yes, yes, baby," Lexi Ann said, patting his shoulder. "I do, I do… Now put me down…"

Saeyoung relented and then turned around to give me a hug. "MC!" he said, squeezing me hard against his chest. "My favorite caped crusader!"

"I should say the same for you," I said, gasping for air. He was literally crushing me. Zen reached over and pulled him back by the shoulder.

"You're squeezing the life out of my girl, dick face," Zen said.

"Aw, Zenny baby!" He said, embracing the actor with a hug. "So good to see you!"

"God," Zen said, looking at Lexi Ann. "You really shouldn't let him drink that stuff…"

Lexi Ann rolled her eyes. "Don't I know it…"

I turned to Lexi Ann. "Did you see Yoosung out there?"

"Um, yeah!" Lexi Ann said. "Holy hot stuff! Even though I expected him to look different, I guess I had no idea the Rad 5 could work such miracles."

"Aw, come on," Zen said. "He looks alright."

Saeyoung snorted. "Jealous much, mirror boy?"

Zen scoffed. "Hardly… How could I be jealous of anyone, let alone a loner gamer college boy with a little gel in his hair?"

I reached over to squeeze Zen's hand, which had become somewhat of a secret signal between us. Basically it was my way of saying, "Ok, baby, that's enough.'' Zen sighed, pressed his lips together into a line and then squeezed my hand back.

"Alright then," I said, changing the subject. "How about we get started on some tunes?"

Lexi Ann went first with her rendition of Abba's "Dancing Queen". Halfway through the first chorus, Saeyoung pulled off one the table cloths and turned it into a kind of sari/dress. Then he danced and sang back up. By the end of the number, Zen and I were both practically pissing ourselves with laughter.

"Damn, Saeyoung," Zen said. "You actually kind of look good in a dress…"

"I know," the redhead replied, smiling. "I'm glad you noticed."

Saeran showed up after that, a sheepish smile on his face. "Sorry I'm late," he said, running his fingers through his mint hair. "Coding…I lost track of time."

"It happens, my brother," Saeyoung said. "It happens…"

Yoosung showed up shortly after with a big smile on his face. I noticed his ears were also a little red.

"Where's your new girlfriend?" Saeyoung teased.

"Uh," Yoosung said, blushing a little. "I got her number, but I told her I had to go."

"You did what?" Zen said. "Why didn't you bring her here?" He shook his silver-haired head in dismay. "Am I going to have to give you lessons? Single Guy 101?"

I glanced up at Zen sideways and gave him a look. It was hard to imagine that he was ever like that, ever one of those annoying guys with one thing on his mind. In fact, I knew for all his big talk, he wasn't like that. He may have dated before, but when we met he was still a virgin. By this time I had finished my wine, so I was feeling a little drunk, the nice kind of drunk, all lovey dovey, so the thought of me being his one and only one made me feel warm and dizzy.

"Come here, baby," I said, reaching my arms up around his neck. When I lifted my head and closed my eyes, his lips were there, his hands sliding down the length of my body. God, I could kiss him forever. "I love you, baby," I whispered into his neck. "I love you so much."

Zen took my face and held it in his hands, his beautiful mouth smiling and his red eyes just adoring me. "Then sing for me," he said. "Sing for me, please, Princess."

"Oh my god!" Saeyoung cried. "You guys are so gross." Lexi Ann gave him a look and swatted him.

"Shut it, Seven," she said. "Maybe you might learn a thing or two…"

I stumbled over to the machine and punched in the numbers. Suddenly I knew exactly what song I wanted to sing. I'd even practiced it in the shower a few times when Zen wasn't home. When the familiar keyboard melody kicked in, I picked up the microphone and turned to face him. Then I began to sing...

 _"Hey little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone?"_ Zen was sitting on a stool and I sauntered over, swaying my hips until I was standing between his knees. _"I got a bad desire…"_ He put his long arms around my waist as I continued to sing. _"Ohhh ohh ohhhh, I'm on fire…"_

Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire" was one of my all-time favorite songs. I used to do a cover of it with my band in high school. I'd forgotten how much this song made me horny, until now. Swaying my hips and singing between Zen's knees, it was all I could do to keep from forgetting the damn song and taking him right there. But, I reminded myself, our friends were there, and that would be awkward.

By the time I got to the second verse, I noticed Zen's whole face had changed. It wasn't just lust I saw, or even the expression of love I was used to. It was a look I'd never seen before. His red eyes were heavy and looking at me, drinking me in with what felt like an even deeper tier of his soul. I didn't think it was even possible but something stronger was flowing between us, and as I continued to sing, the edges of the rest of the world seemed to fall away...

 _"At night I wake up with my sheets soaking wet, and a freight train running through the middle of my head… Only you can cool my desire…"_ I leaned in closer as I continued to sing and sway my hips. _"Ohhh oh ohhh, I'm on fire…"_

When the song came to a finish, I felt myself slowly float back to reality, and when I got there I realized that the whole room was quiet. Too quiet. My cheeks flushed with shame. Was my singing awful? Had I sucked that badly? I was about to run from the room in utter embarrassment when Zen's mouth opened and his lips began to move.

"Damn, Princess," he said, his voice low. "Where'd you learn to sing like that?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, I smiled and threw my arms around his neck. That's when I noticed Saeyoung, Lexi Ann, Yoosung and Sarean. They were all standing behind Zen with transfixed looks on their faces. Yoosung was the first to speak.

"Wow, MC…" Yoosung said. "I didn't know you could like, actually sing…"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I like to sing," I said, smiling. "I had a band once…" I looked from one to face to the other as everyone just kept staring, seemingly stunned into silence, so I babbled on. "We were called 'Smirk'..." I heard myself giggle nervously. "I was the singer, and I played a little guitar…"

As I said this last bit, Zen's eyes nearly popped out of this head. "You're a musician?" he said. "Why haven't you ever…"

"Well, don't get excited," I said, waving him off with a hand. _No big deal_. "I'm not anymore… I mean, I don't even remember the last time I played…"

Although I did, actually, remember. The last time I picked up a guitar was in California. I used to own an acoustic, back before I'd had to sell it to help pay for my ticket back to Seoul. I wasn't playing anymore anyway, I reasoned. I told myself I didn't really miss it...

Zen took my hand, looping his fingers in mine. He pulled me in close, leaning down until our foreheads touched. "Well, you're really good," he said. "I mean it."

I felt my cheeks glow hot, and my whole body get warm. This was basically the best thing anyone had ever said to me.

"Yeah?" I said, feeling a lump rise in my throat and tears begin to burn behind my eyes. Until this moment I didn't realize how much, or for how long, I'd wanted this… Someone to actually, for real, see me.

"Yeah," Zen said, smiling. "Now will you sing me another one?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: a long week at work... the good, long and tough kind of week when, at the end, you know it was all worth it... I didn't know how much time I was going to get to write, but find time I did. Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing and commenting... You all keep me going :-)


	27. Celebrity Gossip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's pre-note: Lemons ahead… second half of this chapter. Read at your own risk ;-)

It was Saturday morning, the day of the big RFA party, and so we decided to really make a day of it, starting with brunch at our favorite neighborhood cafe.

"This shit is just ridiculous," Zen said, angrily turning a page of the latest issue of _Enquire_. The celebrity and gossip magazine must have written yet another article about what they were now calling the "More Than Friends Love Triangle." It seemed like every other day there was some new story with some new tidbit of information about me, Zen, Echo Girl, or some combination of the three of us. Last week it was a follow up article about the Echo Girl handkerchief video that went viral. The video showed Jumin shaking a yellow gingham handkerchief in Echo Girl's face, blowing his nose in it and handing it back to her, and then her storming out. Although the original video made Echo Girl look like a fool, the Enquire article made me look like a villain. It covered the whole backstory about the ugly yellow gingham dress, the cat commercial, me having the handkerchief made in the first place, and then gifting it to Echo Girl. They even had a quote from the dressmaker I'd employed to do the job.

"MC insisted that it wasn't a gift," the old woman said. "But I could tell she was up to no good."

They also had a quote from the bored teenager running the register, who turned out to be the dressmaker's granddaughter. "Like, I wasn't going to notice or know who she was," the girl said. I could just picture her rolling her eyes as she said it. "MC knows she's got nothing on Echo Girl… It's just a matter of time before Zen comes to his senses."

Anyway, the whole story, which was basically true (I guess that just goes to show those damn tabloids don't get it 100 percent wrong all the time) got totally blown out of proportion. That article, and several afterwards, made me out to be a jealous, vindictive bitch, certainly not worthy of Zen's affection.

Saeyoung and Sarean were of course doing everything they could behind the scenes to counteract all the negative press. They had cute memes and photos of me and Zen floating all over the internet to "popularize" our relationship. Me and Zen holding hands in the park. Me and Zen sharing a milkshake at the Yummy Freeze. There was even a story for a lesser known celebrity blog about our matching tattoos, including the bit about Echo Girl's plan to hijack the design for the show (ok, so sure the plan to use the tattoo in More Than Friends might have actually come from the director, but it was a much better story to pin it on Echo Girl, according to the blog editor anyway).

The result of all this back and forth press was a full-on media war, and people had even begun to take sides. While maybe a third of the country was standing in solidarity for "Team MC", the majority of the population was rooting for "Team Echo Girl." Depending on the story or the day, the meme or the post, I was either Zen's true love or just a pawn standing in the way of South Korea's most lovable couple.

Back to brunch at the restaurant, I peered at Zen across the table, trying to read his face. His mouth was tight, his forehead wrinkled with concern.

"This stuff is really starting to get out of hand, don't you think?" I said, feeling a little worried. I watched with fascination as Zen's features instantly morphed from worry to nonchalant.

"Aw, babe," he said, smiling. "Don't worry yourself… It's nothing."

God, he was such a good actor. He had probably sensed my anxiety and was trying to put me at ease. That meant, whatever it was in the paper, it was bad, probably worse than I was imagining. I looked down at my plate and pushed my eggs around with my fork. I know we'd agreed that I wasn't going to look at any of the media stuff about us anymore. Since I'd gotten so upset after my first appearance in the news as "Zen's Lush Girlfriend" and then lashed back with the whole handkerchief fiasco, I made a promise, not just to Zen, but to the rest of the RFA, that I would stay out of it. Not getting involved meant I would not pay attention to, and would in fact, go out of my way to avoid, any news or social media feeds. Everyone said I had to leave it up to Saeyoung and Sarean, trust that they would take care of it. But this was hard.

"What's it say, Zen?" I said. I couldn't help it. I was completely curious.

Zen looked at me and sighed, reaching his hand across the table. He played with my fingers while weighing his options.

"Babe," he said, finally. "We've talked about this…"

"I know, but..." I said, feeling a knot in my stomach beginning to form. He might be a good actor, but I was good at reading him, and something was wrong. Possibly really wrong.

"Look," he said, squeezing my hand. "Do you trust me?"

His red eyes were soft and full of love… How could I not? I nodded.

"Need to know basis," he said. "Just like we agreed… We'll tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it…" He paused to shove the copy of Enquire aside and I thought I saw his red eyes momentarily turn dark. "Trust me, you don't want to be a part of any of this media bullshit… because that's what it is, it's bullshit."

Instead of making me feel better, this last statement, and especially the way Zen said it, made me feel worse. Today was a big day we had all been looking forward to, the day of the RFA party, where so many things were about to happen (or supposed to happen). Today, they were going to film the culminating scene of Yoosung's episode of Queer Eye For A Guy. Today, Jumin was going to meet Mi-Sun in person for the first time and (hopefully) fall in love. Today, I was going to get to wear my new sexy blue dress and watch Zen become undone at the sight of me… Today, god damn it, was supposed to be awesome.

What the fuck was going on?

\--- 

After brunch, we walked to the park across the street to sit on the grass in the sun. I laid down on my back with my head in Zen's lap while he practiced his lines out loud for an upcoming audition. It was for a musical, a true story about a business tycoon turned philanthropist, and he really wanted the role.

"This," he said with passion in his voice. "Is the kind of character and plot I can get behind… It's the shit people need to hear about…" Then he got quiet for a moment and his eyes got dark again. "And do you know what's the best part about it? No fucking Echo Girl. Damn, I'd be fine if I never had to deal with any more Kyungju drama ever again."

Zen had been having a lot of trouble with Echo Girl on the set, and it was really stressing him out. Honestly, he hated her so much at this point, it made it hard to believe how so much of the country could still believe they were destined to be the perfect couple. I guess it just goes to show what a good actor he truly was...

Around 2pm, we headed back to the apartment to get ready for the party. Over the past couple of days, there had been a lot of build up about my new dress between us and I couldn't wait to put it on. I made Zen promise to stay out of the bedroom while I showered and got dressed. Reluctantly he agreed.

"OK, fine," he said, abruptly removing his hands from my body. He'd been pulling all his very best moves to get me to try and change my mind. "Your loss…"

I had to admit it was a tough call. I knew I was willingly giving up a good opportunity for shower sex, which we were having a lot of lately. I forced myself to think instead of Zen's smoky eyes when he saw me in the new blue dress. It would all be worth it. For the greater good, I thought as I pushed him away and shut the bedroom door.

Later, when I was getting out of the shower I heard Zen's voice from the other room. It was louder than usual and sounded anxious. I moved closer to the door and pressed my ear to the wood.

"What the fuck, Saeyoung?" Zen was saying. "Who the fuck is he?"

It got silent for a moment, and I realized I was only hearing one side of the conversation. Zen was talking on the phone.

"What do you mean you don't know yet? Aren't you the brilliant hacker?" Zen said, his voice rising. "He's fucking got his hands all over her…"

More silence. God, I wish I could hear the other side of the conversation.

"Yes I'm sure it was a recent picture…" Zen said, sounding exasperated. "Believe me, I know that yoga top!"

OK, so obviously he was talking about me… but me and who? Who was "he"?

I made a split second decision and opened the door. This definitely sounded like a "need to know" situation, and didn't we agree to have no secrets between us? Technically, if I didn't let on that I'd overheard this conversation, I'd be keeping a secret... right?

Zen turned around when he heard the door, and his eyes popped when he saw me. I was clutching a towel tightly around my naked body and droplets of water were dripping into a puddle around me on the floor. Even in this state of distress, I could tell the beast was on notice.

"Zen," I said. "What the hell is going on?"

Zen's eyes glanced momentarily downward, where the latest copy of Enquire lay open on the table. "Saeyoung," he said into the phone. "Buddy, I gotta call you back…"

"Zen?" I said, nodding in the direction of the open magazine. "Seems like this is a 'needs to know' thing, don't you think?"

He sighed, running both hands through his silver hair. "Damn, Princess," he said, pacing back and forth. "It's the day of the RFA party…"

"Even better reason for me to know what I'm up against," I said. "Especially if it's that bad…" I paused to watch him continue to rake his fingers through his hair, looking distressed. "If it's out there, other people are going to be reading it. I have to be prepared."

"Fuck," he said, plopping down on the couch and putting his face in his hands, resigned. I walked over to sit beside him.

Without looking at me or even lifting his head, Zen shoved the magazine in my direction. It was open to a two-page spread containing three or four large full-color photographs with captions. As I looked closer and my eyes focused, I felt my mouth drop open and my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. They were pictures of me and Kwang-jo from that day he had been waiting for me outside my yoga studio. The photos had been carefully selected because, even though I know I hadn't been happy to see him, it sure didn't look that way. Every shot had me in Kwang-jo's arms, framed carefully and snapped before I'd been able to pull away. The headline read "MC's Secret Lover". I carefully scanned the accompanying text.

_No one can be all that surprised to learn that Zen's "real" girlfriend is also a "real" slut. Who is this mystery man she's seen embracing outside Yoga Bend Studio in Seoul's hippest neighborhood? More importantly, does actor Zen know how his girl is passing the time when he's not around? When's he going to wise up and realize that his sexy co-star Echo Girl is the better choice?_

"I know this isn't what it looks like," Zen said, touching my shoulder. "I mean, I get it... I know how the paparazzi works… and, besides, I trust you…"

I turned to look at him, taken aback. What? Zen not jealous? This was a first. I studied his face closely. Sure enough, his red eyes were worried and concerned, but not angry.

"What?" I said. "You're not…?"

Zen shrugged. "Of course I'm not jealous," he said. "How could I be, when I've been on the receiving end of this bullshit so many times?" He paused. The look on his face made it seem like rocket science, but I couldn't help but think of all the other less-than-significant times Zen had been jealous. Of Jumin. Of Yoosung. Of random-guy-here-and-there-you-name-it-at-the-supermarket who was into my yoga top. Out of all of these experiences, this was surely the one that held the most validity, the one that seemed the most probable, but Zen seemed to be the least worried of all. Still he wanted to know: "But who is this guy? Do you even know?"

It was my turn to put my head in my hands. I hated to admit it, but seeing pictures of Kwang-jo still cut me to the core. No matter how much I thought I was over everything that happened, there was something there inside me that still hurt. Even now I felt the lump in my throat and a sob threatening to rise up from my chest.

"Yeah, I know who he is…" I said, quietly. Hot tears were beginning to escape the corners of my eyes, and something behind them, shame. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. "Do you remember the guy I told you about? The one who broke my heart?"

"Oh no," Zen said, realizing at once who I was talking about. "Shit, babe," he said, reaching out to touch my knee. "God, I'm so sorry." I nodded as he moved one hand to my back and started to trace slow, comforting circles. I went on.

"His name is Kwang-jo," I said, hating having to say the sound of his name out loud here in the middle of my new beautiful life. "He's a DJ and a club manager at some underground dance club downtown…"

Zen listened while I went on to explain how I did run into Kwang-jo that day. How he'd been waiting for me outside the yoga studio. How I wasn't at all happy to see him, and even the part about how I'd run away.

"I didn't want to tell you about that night for the same reason I don't want to be talking about him now," I said, feeling my voice crack, the sob rising from deep in my throat. "The thought of him just ruins everything."

"He's a bastard," Zen said. I could both see the anger in his eyes and hear it in his voice, but all of it quickly flashed away as he reached for me. He knew he needed to put his anger second, be there for me now.

"Come here, Princess," he said, pulling me close. I scooted in close and buried my face in his chest. It was a good thing he hadn't gotten dressed for the party yet, because I sobbed a river into his shirt.

"It's not your fault, babe," he kept saying over and over again as he stroked my hair.

\---

You'd think that maybe a moment like this might ruin everything for a big night like this, but then again maybe you've never had a boyfriend like Zen.

When I finally stopped crying, Zen got up to get a warm washcloth from the bathroom. He came back, sat down and gently started to wipe the tears away from my face. It was a small, tender gesture, so sweet it almost made me start crying all over again, this time with tears of sheer gratitude and joy.

"You're all right, MC," he said softly. "You're strong, so strong... one of the strongest people I've ever met… You can handle this, and you've got me, you've got the whole RFA behind you..."

Then he kissed me hard and slow on the lips. I felt his fingers, light and slow, like a piano playing, on my bare leg just underneath the edge of my towel. "Hey," he said softly, with a sort of a throaty voice. "How about we take a shower?"

It took me less than a second to realize he was taking advantage of the situation to bring up a previous negotiation he had lost, and possibly a second more to realize that I didn't mind. Why not have a shower and a blue dress reveal? Certainly both realities could exist, and damn, there was no way I was letting Kwang-jo have the last word on today.

"Yeah?" I said, biting my lip as images of showers from yesterday, and the day before, and maybe the day before that, played out from memory inside of my mind. Already, I was starting to feel so much better.

"You know you're too damn cute, right?" Zen said, touching the place on my mouth where my teeth made contact with my lip. Suddenly, he stood up, pulling me up by both hands. As this happened, my loose towel fell away.

"Whoops," he said, smiling. Obviously not a real "whoops" reaction, not really.

"Sorry not sorry?" I whispered, stepping back to reveal my nakedness.

"Damn, Princess," he said, looking me up and down with the appetite of a wolf. "You're so beautiful… I can't believe you're mine." His red eyes full of lust, he leaned forward to take my left nipple in his mouth. The softness of his lips coupled with the gentle nip of his teeth made me close my eyes and let out a small, involuntary moan. Yes, oh yes, all of a sudden, I was feeling so, so much better.

Slowly his mouth started making its way back to my lips, leaving a trail of kisses of in its wake.

"Shower?" I croaked as he lingered and sucked on my neck, that place I liked in the well of my collarbone.

"Mmm…" Zen said. Without moving his mouth from my neck he propelled me backwards into the bedroom, and then into the bathroom, where I reached behind me, working the knobs that controlled the water stream. Zen removed his lips from my body just long enough to strip the clothes from his body, and then it was my turn to take in his gorgeous, perfect body. His chiseled chest and sculpted arms. The trail of hair leading from his belly button downward…

"God," I sighed. Sometimes it was just too much looking at him, he was too flawless. Many times I had a flash of the afterlife, like that maybe I'd already died and he was an angel. "I swear, my lovely Zen, I could never, ever get tired of looking at you…"

"You like what you see, do you Princess?" Zen said, smiling devilishly. He loved being looked at like this and well, I liked looking at him like this, so it was a good combo.

I nodded. Moving forward I started kissing his chest, running my tongue in circular motions around one nipple, tasting it, while tweaking the other with my free hand, something I learned to know he liked. He moaned and, impulsively, I sucked harder.

Meanwhile Zen had both his hands gripping my ass and he was pulling me forwards and up, grinding me against his hardness. Heat and sensation were building there fast, and it was driving me crazy.

"God, Princess," Zen said, as he suddenly reached one of his hands around to my front side and slipped two fingers inside. "Damn, pretty girl, you're so wet, and we're not even in the shower yet…"

"Ohhhh," I said, as I began to greedily grind against his fingers. It wasn't enough, though, not even enough. I needed more.

"Zen…" I whispered. "I need you to fuck me… like really fuck me… like now."

There was an urgency in Zen's response. Instantly, I felt his fingers slip from inside me and then heard him fumbling around in the drawer… but then the action seemed to slow.

"Hold on a sec, Princess," Zen whispered as his lips broke free from mine long enough to rip a condom out of its package and slide it on. "There's something I gotta do first…"

I couldn't imagine what that could be, and then I felt it… His face was on my clit, sucking hard and fast and furious, so much so that my mind reeled and my eyes rolled backwards into my head.

"Ohhh!" I cried, somewhat surprised and unequipped to handle all the sensations that were invading my most receptive senses all at once.

"I need you to call me by my name, Princess," Zen said greedily, and I got it all at once.

"Ryu Hyun!" I called, instinctively, from a place of knowing and from need.

His eyes turned from red to darker and then got more determined. I gasped as he picked me up by the thighs and backed me into the shower. I felt the warm water cascade around my body, streaming down and soaking my face and hair. I wrapped both my legs around his body, clasping my arms around his neck, pulling him against me. I pressed my whole body into him, enjoying the sensation of my hard nipples rubbing against his porcelain chest.

"God… Mmmm…" I moaned, along with some more otherworldly sounds escaping from my lips.

Zen had me backed up against the wall of the shower, easily holding me up with one arm and positioning himself at my entrance with the other. "You ready, Princess?" he whispered, low and throaty, as he moved the tip of his dick back and forth across my clit.

"Mmmm…" I moaned.

"Tell me you're ready…" he urged, momentarily pausing the friction, teasing me. "Say it."

"I'm ready," I pleaded, every part of my body burning, wanting that friction to return.

"Ready for what?" Zen said, his red eyes taunting. Oh god, why was he playing with me? What did he want?

"Ready for you, Hyun!" I said, blind with lust, ready to do anything. I was hoping that the use of his first name would get me what I wanted, and fast, like it had in the past. "Fuck me, please, Hyun!"

Ryu Hyun paused, licking his lips slowly, savoring the moment, deciding. If I could have imagined myself at this moment, which I couldn't because I was a withering mess, burning for him from the inside out, I may have had a sliver of self-respect that wouldn't have made me beg so hard, so unrelentlessly.

"Please baby," I said, my only thought of total penetration, total relief. I watched as a wide, wicked smile formed on his lips, as if he were privy to these most personal thoughts and still willing to withhold the thing I most needed in favor of relishing the power he had over me, if just for a moment more.

I watched as his beast eyes reached peak level lust and then, for god's sake, felt his full lower body thrust forward.

"You're welcome, Princess…" he said, as he let his full length sink into me. I watched and held him close to me as his eyes closed and his head fell forward, and then his whole body began to shake. "Oh damn…"

Immediately my hips were there to meet his and my body was already responding, already reacting to the spasms of his climax.

"Hyun! Hyun! Hyun!" I called over and over again with the mania I might feel in a nuclear disaster, if the effects were reversed and death were administered by pleasure instead of pain.

When it was over, I came to my senses, my body pressed to the tile of the shower wall, smiling, both of us panting like animals.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Zen said, impulsively licking my cheek, sucking my neck.

"You're so fucking bad," I responded, letting my fingernails scrape a little flesh down the back of his neck.

God, he hadn't even seen me in my new blue dress yet. The night was young. There was still so much, so much left to come…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: So sorry for the almost 2-week hiatus… I had some big work stuff, and then some writer's block getting back into it… I know everyone's bracing for the big RFA party chapter…Me, too! Stay tuned… Thanks (always) for reading, commenting, reviewing, etc.


	28. What Are YOU Doing Here? (Party Part I)

I made Zen wait in the living room while I got dressed.

"Babe? You almost done in there?" Zen called from behind the closed door. "I saw the size of that shopping bag… A dress that tiny shouldn't be that big a deal to put on…"

"Yeah," I said. "Almost there…" I'd already shimmied into my new short strapless iridescent blue dress, and was just adding the finishing touches to my make up. Then I ran my fingers through my long chestnut brown hair, breaking up the loose curls so they hung in a wave down my bare back. The final touch was the strappy heels I'd purchased just yesterday. They were a glittery shimmery blue that complimented my dress and midnight blue manicure/pedicure.

With the outfit complete, I practiced sauntering in the heels, exaggerating the roll of my hips, on the way to the mirror for one last once over before revealing myself to my waiting boyfriend. This was the moment I had been waiting for...

"Nice one, MC," I whispered to my reflection as I surveyed the results of my efforts. I was usually a Cherry Chapstick kind of girl, but I was digging the full-on smokey eye and thick lashes. I looked downright glamorous, if I do say so myself.

Ambling over to the door of the bedroom, I paused, keeping my hand on the door knob for an extra moment to take a breath. Here goes nothing, I thought.

My heart was beating wildly in my chest with anxious anticipation as I threw open the door and positioned myself in the doorway with what I hoped was dramatic effect.

"Ready to go, my lovely Zen?" I said, batting my lashes.

Zen looked up from where he was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone, likely coordinating with others in the RFA chat room about the party. When he saw me his red eyes got heavy and smokey as he sucked in an involuntary breath.

"Damn, Princess," he said, his voice husky and low. I relished his gaze as it fastened on my chest, pausing appreciatively on my tattoo, and then traveling downward, taking in the curve of my hips, my bare thighs, the shapely affect my high heels had on the calves of my legs...

"You look…" Zen started. His words seemed to get caught in his throat and he swallowed. "Amazing."

Then, just as I predicted his lusty look morphed into a more questioning expression. "Hmm," he said, tilting his lovely head to one side. "Maybe too amazing…?"

I threw up my hands and rolled my eyes. "Babe!" I said, still smiling because this was kind of exactly the response I was looking for.

Zen stood up and crossed the room to wrap his long arms around me. When he reached me, he cupped my bum and pulled me in close. I felt his face in my hair. "Aw man," he said, breathing me in. "You smell so good…"

I leaned my head back as I felt his hot breath and lips on my neck, and then let out a small moan in response to the sucking sensation I felt there.

"There," Zen said, pulling back satisfied. Using his long fingers, he moved my hair out of the way to survey his work. "Now everyone will know you're mine."

"Zen!" I said, playfully swatting him on the arm. "No need to get so possessive..."

"No?" he said, squeezing my ass with one hand. Then Zen's eyes lit up for an instant. "Oh, I almost forgot…" he said.

As he strode over to the small desk in the hallway, I noticed that Zen was looking pretty fine and dashing himself in a white suit and silver-colored cravat that matched his hair. The suit fit him perfectly, tailored to accent the many assets of his perfect body. I watched, happily distracted, as Zen opened a drawer and pulled out a long, thin velvet box.

"What's that?" I said, my eyes widened in surprise and my stomach did a double flip flop in giddy anticipation. What? Did Zen get me a gift? When?

He pulled me toward the couch and we sat down. "Open it," he said, his red eyes shining.

I opened the delicate emerald green velvet box, which looked a little worn on the edges. Inside was a simple silver chain with an ornate vintage looking pendant about the size of a teardrop.

"God," I gasped. "It's beautiful…"

Zen's smile grew wider, ear to ear. "It belonged to my mother," Zen said. He reached over to lift the necklace out of the box. I lifted my hair up out of the way so he could fasten it around my neck, planting a kiss on the spot where the clasp touched my skin.

"Beautiful," he said.

I got up to walk to the mirror in the hallway and touched the pendant which hung perfectly just below the well at the base of my neck. It was simple and classy all at the same time, just the kind of gift you'd expect to get from Zen.

"Oh, Zen," I said, feeling tears spring to my eyes. "I love it."

I knew that Zen's relationship with his family was strained at best, so I wondered how he'd gotten a hold of this amazing piece. If it belonged to his mother, that meant…

"I talked to my mom on the phone last week," Zen said, as if reading my mind. "I told her all about you, and then I got this in the mail and…surprise!" he smiled. "So I guess it's as much of a present from her as it is from me…"

I turned around and threw my arms around his neck. "Oh Zen," I said. "I'm so proud of you." I knew that contacting his mom couldn't have been easy for him. Growing up, both his parents, and his brother had been extremely protective. They didn't approve of acting as a profession and tried to dissuade him at every turn. Zen had to finally leave home when he was still just a teenager in order to pursue the passion he loved.

Zen touched my cheek. "Oh Princess," he breathed. "You're more than just beautiful, you're my salvation." He bent his head to kiss me and I went a little weak in the knees as his soft lips enveloped mine and his tongue began to push and explore my mouth. I kissed him back with equal fervor, and soon he was backing me against the desk in the hall. Keeping his mouth locked on mine, he grabbed me by the back of the thighs and then picked me up so I was sitting on the edge of the desktop. Spreading my legs, he stepped between them. "God," he said, nuzzling his face in my neck. "You smell so good." Soon I felt his warm hands creeping up my bare thighs…

Things were just starting to get good when his phone began to buzz. Reluctantly, I pushed Zen back gently by the shoulders. "Babe," I said, remembering there were other places we had to be today. "You should probably get that… It's probably one of the other members…"

Zen groaned as he backed away to answer his phone. I couldn't help but notice the enormous bulge in his pants. God, that boy was insatiable… How many times had we already done it today?

"Hello?" Zen said into the phone, and then waited as the other person spoke. "Yeah, yeah, Saeyoung, get over yourself… We're ready."

Zen hung up the phone and then turned to me. "Saeyoung and Lexi Ann are on their way...They're coming around with the car now," he said, smiling sheepishly and adjusting himself in his pants.

I felt my cheeks grow hot. Yeah, on second thought, it probably wasn't the best time to get down. I turned to look at myself in the mirror. My lipstick was hopelessly smudged, my hair mussed and wild. Quickly I clicked off to the bathroom to reassemble myself, passing Zen along the way. Glancing up at his gorgeous face, I smiled and touched his cheek near his lips, where my lipstick was smeared in huge dusty rose streak.

"Honey," I said. "You might want to check that pretty face of yours..."

He looked over my shoulder in the mirror. "Damn…" he said, as he licked a couple of fingers and started wiping the spot vigorously.

\--- 

Luckily, by the time Saeyoung called again to let us know the car was downstairs, we were ready. When the black car pulled up, Zen opened the door and I slid into the backseat next to Lexi Ann. She was wearing a short burgundy colored dress with a swishy a-line skirt, fishnet stockings and chunky black Mary Jane heels. I reached over to touch her knee and kiss her on the cheek.

"You look divine," I said.

Saeyoung, who was sitting in the front seat, turned around. His eyes popped when he saw me. "Holy smokes, MC!" he said, half grinning with his tongue hanging out in a way I'm sure he knew would push Zen's buttons. "Anyone got a fire extinguisher? Because you're smokin' hot!"

Zen banged the back of the front seat with the palm of his hand. "Hey!" Zen said, his red eyes looking cross. "Put your tongue back in your mouth, smart ass… That's my girl you're looking at…"

Completely unfazed and, in fact, taking it a step further, Saeyoung turned to me and winked. "Yeah, me and every other guy…"

"...And girl…" Lexi Ann said, joining in. She put a hand on my shoulder. "You do look gorgeous, MC," she said, smiling. "Like above and beyond… really."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Zen said, shaking his gorgeous head. "She's hot, she's sexy... Don't I know it, man!" He put a hand on my bare knee and squeezed. "But you're going to stay right by my side, though, all night, right, Princess?"

I leaned over to kiss his handsome cheek. "Babe, like I said, no need to be so possessive," I said, and then I leaned closer to whisper in his ear. "But yes, I'm yours, always…"

In response, Zen grabbed my hand, intertwined our fingers and raised them to his lips. He gave me a look, a kind of sly sultry I-love-you look I know he saved only for me. "This one is brand-patented MC-only," he told me the first time his red eyes looked at me in that way. "I promise I won't ever use it on stage or in a show… Not even if I'm ever cast on Broadway…" God, I loved how he loved me, and I so loved him back. Was there ever a luckier girl? I think not. I squeezed his hand.

I felt Lexi Ann's hand touch my knee. "I should warn you two," she said, looking serious. "Echo Girl is going to be at the party…"

Zen was so startled he nearly jumped out of his seat, hitting his head on the top of the car. "What?!" he said, his voice laced with anger. "What the fuck…"

"Jaehee probably didn't have time to tell you," Lexi Ann said. "It all happened last minute."

"More like she didn't _want_ to tell me…" Zen grumbled.

Lexi Ann reached over and squeezed Zen's knee. "I'm sorry, Zen," she said. "I did everything I could, but you know, it makes sense. C&R International is backing _More Than Friends_ , and she did do that cat commercial and everything… She went to the Chairman behind everyone's back… By the time it got back to Jumin, even he couldn't say no."

"Damn…" Zen said, rubbing his forehead in frustration with one hand.

"I don't expect there will be trouble… She's bringing a plus-one…" Lexi Ann said, using a look-on-the-bright-side kind of tone.

"Kyungju is always trouble," Zen said, sounding both definitive and defeated.

"Echo Girl has a date?" I said, perking up. Maybe if she had another guy she'd finally lay off mine.

"It seems that way…" Lexi Ann said.

"I wonder who?" I said.

"I don't know," Lexi Ann said. "She didn't say."

"Interesting…" I heard Saeyoung murmur from the front seat.

The RFA party was being held at the Design Plaza in the Dongdaemun district. Driver Kim alerted us when we arrived. "Did Assistant Kang mention there would be a red carpet?" He said. "I will drop you off out front."

"Yes, that's fine, Mr. Kim," Lexi Ann said.

I felt my heart beat wildly in my chest. A red carpet? I guess I had known this, but it hadn't really registered before. Zen must've caught the look on my face because he squeezed my hand.

"You'll be fine, Princess," he said, smiling and letting his gaze drop. His red eyes came to rest squarely on the bodice of my dress, where my tattoo was prominently displayed on the curve of my left breast.

"Here we are," Driver Kim said, pulling right up to entrance where two gold posts and the edge of the red carpet awaited. Saeyoung popped out of the car first and opened the door for Zen. The sounds and squeals of excited teenage fans started the moment his long frame unfolded from the vehicle.

"Zen! Zen! Oh my god, it's him!" They cried seemingly in unison. Their ecstatic screams were coupled with a barrage of camera flashes.

Zen seemed a bit oblivious to all the fanfare. He had turned and was holding a hand out to me, waiting to help lift me out of the car. "You coming, Princess?" he said, smiling.

The smile on his face was sweet enough to make any fear or apprehension I had dissolve. I reached up and let him pull me out of the car. The moment I appeared, the chatter of the crowd changed. Along with the shouts and cheers for Zen, I started to hear some references to me.

"There she is… It's MC!"

"Hey, MC… Over here!"

"MC, you suck...Go home!"

The crowd bellowed and roared with both positive sounding cheers, as well as jeers and boos. Lexi Ann, who was standing next to me, nudged me on the shoulder. "Looks like both sides are adequately represented…" she said with a good degree of snark.

I glanced over in the direction of the crowd of fans and saw that some of them held signs. The signs included a mixture of "Team MC" and "Team Echo Girl", as well as some pretty choice slogans like "MC = Too Plain Jane", "Zen, Get Your Head OUT of Your ASS!" and my favorite "Echo Girl Makes Me Want To Hurl"... Zen nudged my elbow and smiled at me when he saw that one. I squeezed his arm and smirked back.

I have to admit I was less bothered by all this fanfare than I would have expected. Maybe it was the undeniable affection Zen was showing me right now… Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't bothered by it at all himself… Or maybe I was just finally getting used to it?

The shouts of the fans disappeared once we made it inside the venue. The Design Plaza was a large modern contemporary building. We walked into the main event area, a large open-spaced room with two or maybe three story floor-to-ceiling windows, all slanted at weird angles.

"Wow," Saeyoung said, pinching my arm. "It's like a spaceship! Wanna go to the moon?" I laughed at his reference to those first days in the RFA chat room, and ignored Zen's questioning sideways glance.

"Oh look," I said. "There's Yoosung!"

Yoosung was over in the corner flanked by cameramen and grips with lights on both sides. Yoosung was looking slick. He was wearing an emerald green sharkskin suit and gold lamé tie. His hair was slicked back again, this time with more gel than I thought was reasonable. Shane, the "life coach" from _Queer Eye for a Guy_ was standing next to him in a trendy blue check suit, his curly hair coiffed with his signature heavy swish Elvis-style bang in front. Shane appeared to be holding what looked like Yoosung's video game controller.

"Let's go see," I said, pulling Zen in the direction of Yoosung. We pushed through the crowd, bypassing some people I recognized from the last two parties, including that annoying woman from the Cultured Citizens Association, who tried to grab me as we walked by.

"MC! Darling!" she sang. "Have you seen Jumin? We are…"

I gave her hand a squeeze. "Oh! It's so nice to see you, Madame…" I said, offering a tight smile. "I haven't seen Jumin yet, but I'll tell him you're looking for him when I see him… Now, if you'll excuse me…"

As we got closer to Yoosung, I could hear Shane's voice. Turns out he was indeed holding Yoosung's video game controller, and for good reason.

"Yoosung," Shane was saying. "This is a big day for you, a day that is both celebratory and symbolic…"

"Symbolic?" Yoosung said, a confused look on his face.

"Yes, symbolic," Shane assured, smacking him on the back. "Symbolic because it stands as an important rite of passage in your life…" He paused for dramatic effect. "This event is a gateway… a transformatory moment that marks you leaving behind your life as a boy and becoming a man."

There was a lot of applause and I could tell Yoosung was trying to look pleased and like he understood what was going on, but he actually seemed kind of confused.

"Oh, poor Yoosung," I said to Zen.

"Yeah," Zen said. "You think he's ready for this?"

"Does he have a choice?" I said.

Shane was now handing Yoosung his video game controller. "In order to properly commemorate this moment, both for you psychologically and for the benefit of your friends and loved ones, I want you to smash this controller."

The color drained from Yoosung's face. He looked clearly distressed. "Smash it?" he said. "Like with a hammer?"

Shane smiled. He had the most gorgeous white teeth. "Yes, like with a hammer…" Shane motioned to one of the production assistants standing nearby who happened to be holding a sledgehammer. The production assistant strode over and handed the hammer to Yoosung.

"OK," Shane said. "Stand back, everybody…"

Shane placed the controller on a tall wooden block, a makeshift table, about waist high. When Yoosung didn't step forward, Shane nudged him.

"Go on," he said. "Don't be afraid. Be a true guild master and bust that controller, that thing that literally controls your life, your future, into a million pieces!"

The crowd roared with applause. "Do it, Yoosung!" Someone shouted. "Yeah, smash that bitch!" cried another.

Yoosung looked clearly hesitant. His eyes were darting around the crowd, as if he were looking for someone to tell him what to do… or maybe even save him from this terrible situation. I, for one, knew what that video controller meant to him, and maybe he wasn't yet ready to give it up.

"Damn," Zen said, echoing my thoughts. "I don't know if he can do it."

Then I saw her, and I knew she must the person Yoosung was scanning for in the crowd. It was the bubbly blond from the other night, the girl Yoosung had been talking to in the bar. I nudged Zen.

"Check it out," I said. "It's her…"

Zen craned to look where I was pointing. "Oh yeah…"

Yoosung saw her at about the same moment. I could tell because he got the cutest, most impish smile on his face.

"What a virgin!" Zen said when he saw the smile. I swatted him, hard.

"Like you can talk!" I said. "There's nothing wrong with virgins...Don't be mean!"

I watched as the girl pushed herself to the front of the crowd and gave Yoosung a cute three fingered wave. As soon as this happened, Yoosung turned to the production assistant and said, "Yo, give me that hammer…" Ten seconds later, Yoosung's home video game controller was flying around the room in obliterated pieces.

"You're right," Yoosung said to Shane with total confidence. "I'm a man in control of my life… who needs a controller?"

The whole room went wild with applause as Yoosung took another swack at the mess of plastic that used to be his lifeline. I'm not completely sure, but Yoosung's bubbly blond was probably clapping the loudest.

"Wow," I said to Zen. "I guess he likes her."

"Damn," he said, smiling and shaking his head. "Look what love can do."

"Speaking of love…" I said. Zen followed my eyes across the room, where Jumin was standing, glass of wine in his hand, eagerly talking to a woman. "I wonder if that's Mi-Sun?"

The woman was petite, a full head shorter than Jumin, with slick black hair fashioned into a neat updo. She was wearing a classic black shift dress, well-made, perhaps personally tailored.

"Come on," I said, pulling Zen along. "Let's go say 'hi'..."

As we got closer, I could hear their conversation.

"This is a Tuscan blend, containing both the Sangiovese grape and Cabernet Sauvignon varietals," Jumin was saying in probably one of the most excited tones I've ever heard him speak. Mi-Sun was swishing her glass of wine and sticking her nose into the rim.

"I'm getting an earthy aroma," she said. "Also, it's very viscous…"

"Yes," Jumin said, looking pleased. "This wine definitely has legs…"

"Hi," I said, sticking out my hand. "You must be Mi-Sun. I'm MC."

"Oh MC," Mi-Sun said, reaching out to squeeze my fingers. "It's a pleasure." She turned to look up at Zen. "And you must be the famous Zen…"

"Semi-famous…" Jumin interjected. I saw Zen's eyebrows wrinkle with annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever, jerk," Zen mumbled under his breath. Then he reached out and took Mi-Sun by the hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Mi-Sun," he said, bowing his gorgeous silver-haired head and bringing her hand to his lips. God, he could be so charming.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" Mi-Sun asked. "My darling Jumin was just sharing this exceptional Italian blend…"

"Oh, no thank you," Zen said.

"Zen is not a fan of wine," Jumin said. "It is beneath him."

Mi-Sun laughed, a sweet, bell-like sound, and touched Jumin's arm. "Oh darling," she said. "You are a riot..."

Zen shot me a look that said can-you-believe-these-two? I squeezed his hand and smiled. "He just prefers beer, is all," I said to Mi-Sun.

At that moment, there was a commotion at the entrance of the room and we all turned around to look. I recognized the voice before I saw her and my heart sank with dread - Echo Girl had arrived.

"Oh, hello my sweetie darlings!" she called out while making grand sweeping motions with her arms. "Never fear, the party is here!"

"What a fucking drama queen," Zen said, half under his breath.

As the crowd parted, she became visible. Her blonde hair was piled in curls on top of her head and she was wearing a hot pink gown with a plunging neckline, obviously to showcase her natural D-cup sized breasts. I couldn't help but notice that the dress was punctuated with a large ornate and sparkling gemstone brooch.

"God, is that real?" I said in amazement.

"She'll be the first to tell you that it is..." Lexi Ann said, suddenly appearing at my elbow. "She'll also be happy to tell you that the dress was made for her personally by Vera Wang."

I was about to roll my eyes when I saw him. I had to blink a couple of times because I couldn't quite believe my eyes. Following close behind Echo Girl was a man I recognized. There was no mistaking that moppy brown head or that lackadaisical gait. My mouth fell open with both confusion and surprise. _Kwang-jo_. My mind was still trying to process the difficult information that he was here in the first place when fate served up a double whammy. I watched, almost as if in slow motion, as Echo Girl paused to look over her shoulder, reach back and grab his hand… What, were they together? Kwang-jo was her date?

Zen must have been watching my face unfold to this sequence of horrors because he had followed my gaze. "God," he said, disbelieving. "Is that…?"

"It's Kwang-jo," I said in a voice so low and filled with dread it was barely audible.

"What?" Lexi Ann said.

"That's her ex," Zen said with fire in his voice. "That dude from the paper…"

Saeyoung had appeared next to Lexi Ann and was nodding along. "Kwang-jo?" he said. "The DJ?"

"Oh, so now you know who he is, do you?" Zen said, a note of sarcasm in his voice.

Saeyoung wiggled his eyebrows up and down. "Of course I do," he replied. "I'm a brilliant hacker."

Zen sighed and rolled his eyes. I clutched my stomach. Suddenly I didn't feel so good. What the fuck was he doing here? And with Echo Girl?

"This explains so much," Lexi Ann said. "Echo Girl must have been fucking behind all of this, like the whole time..."

Zen's face suddenly changed from angry to determined. I watched as he straightened up and balled his hands into fists.

"Well, damn," he said, his red eyes locked in on Kwang-jo. "I guess I better go introduce myself…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Uh-oh! What's going to happen next? Look out, Kwang-jo... This was getting long, so stay tuned for Party Part II. Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. :-) :-) :-)


	29. Knock Out (Party Part II)

At the RFA Party, Zen couldn't tear his eyes away, or keep his hands off of MC. She always looked beautiful, of course, but tonight she managed to up-level herself to drop dead gorgeous, and it was driving Zen crazy. Honestly, he couldn't remember a time when he'd ever been more turned on by a girl. Every time he looked at his princess, watched her move in that damn sexy blue dress, his heart beat wildly, and he often had to stop to catch his breath.

"Man, I can't believe she's mine," Zen said to Saeyoung while they were waiting for the girls to come back from the restroom. "She like literally takes my breath away."

"Yeah, I can't believe it either, bro… Guess she prefers beauty over brains," Saeyoung quipped, laughing. Zen swatted him.

"OW!" Saeyoung bellowed, rubbing his arm where the actor had popped him. "I was kidding!"

"Kind of," Zen said, giving his friend a doubtful look. "You were kind of kidding…"

"Nah, I mean it," Saeyoung said. "You're a lucky dude, that's for sure. Seriously, I'm glad for you."

Finally the girls came out of the restroom, and both boys stopped talking to take in the view. Zen loved watching MC in those moments before she saw him, when she was unaware of his presence. He liked to get glimpses of what she was like when she was on her own, moving and being herself in the world. Now he smiled as he watched her half-trip in her high heels and then stumble into Lexi Ann, grasping an arm so she wouldn't fall. God, he thought, she was just so cute. So fucking cute he just couldn't stand it.

MC looked up and saw him now. Man, that smile. "I missed you, my lovely Zen," she said, rushing forward and standing on tiptoe for a kiss, which he granted. Man, that sweet smile coupled with his name on her lips… Well, that was enough to melt his heart completely.

"I missed you, too, pretty girl," he said, letting his hands slide down the sides of her body. Damn. Zen just couldn't seem to get enough of her in this blue dress. Sometimes, throughout the evening, he found himself purposely lagging a little bit behind her so that he could take in the sexy sway of her hips, her beautiful backside, and the length of her long legs. He would get mesmerized by the way her hair hung down her back in a cascade of curls, and swished back and forth when she walked. And when he was standing near her, he seriously couldn't help it, he had to, just had to put his fingers in her hair, touch her bare skin, kiss her neck or her cheek or even just lean in close and breathe her in. She smelled so good.

Zen also loved the way MC looked at him. Sure, he knew he was unnaturally handsome. He was used to being ogled by his fans, the public in general, but there was something different about the way MC looked at him. What was it exactly? Maybe the fact that it was beyond superficial, and really not about looks at all. When MC was looking at him, she was really looking at him. She was seeing his whole self, his real self, his soul. He could really be a toad, for all she cared.

"Let's go get a drink," MC said, looping her fingers in his and pulling him along. On the way to the bar, they were stopped by Christa Kim, a big shot at one of the modeling agencies Zen worked for sometimes. Christa was known for being a notorious womanizer, and the tabloids liked to follow his various exploits with celebrities and lurid affairs. Zen eyed him critically. It was true that Christa was a good looking man, but was he as handsome as Zen? Zen didn't think so.

"Wow you look smashing, just smashing, my darling, MC," Christa said. His posh British accent also annoyed Zen to no end. "I dare say we could use a face like yours at the agency."

Zen noted that although Christa Kim said "face" he was looking MC up and down like a dog in heat. God, all men are truly beasts, he thought, and he vowed again that he wasn't going to leave MC on her own tonight, like not even for a second.

"Oh, I don't know if I could be a model," MC said, her cheeks blushing pink. "But it's nice of you to say that."

Zen had to hold his tongue as Christa Kim bent his wavy blond head forward, picked up MC's delicate hand and lifted it to his lips.

"Well, my dear," he said, his crystal blue eyes maybe looking a little too deeply, Zen thought, into his girlfriend's brown ones. "If you ever, ever need something...anything...I can always make myself available to you."

"That's very generous of you, Mr. Kim," MC said.

"Do call me Christa," the modeling agent said.

God, Zen thought irritably as the man moved away in search of his next mark. Good riddance.

"Wow," Zen said. "That was amazing…I mean, he acted like I don't even exist...and I've _worked_ for him!"

"Oh, Zen," MC said. "Don't be jealous…" She got a pouty look on her face. God, she was so cute when she did that. "I mean, I'm kind of insulted you'd think I'd even go for a windbag like that in the first place."

"You don't think he's handsome?" Zen said. "Not even with all that money?" Everyone knew Christa Kim was loaded. It was rumored he had his own island somewhere in the South Pacific, which made Zen resent him even more.

MC turned to look up and touch Zen's face. "Not half as handsome as you, my lovely Zen," she said, and then she started to giggle. "I mean, you're a god, a hunk, a heart throb, a regular beefcake..."

"Ok, ok," Zen said, laughing. "I get it. Now you're just making fun…"

MC reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body into his so firmly he was sure he could feel her hard nipples against his chest. Zen closed his eyes momentarily to take a breath and will the beast under control.

"But seriously, babe," she said in a low sultry voice. "If we're going to keep talking about how hot you are, we're going to have to find somewhere…"

Almost as if on cue, Zen felt a hand slap him on the back and he turned around. It was Saeyoung, smiling ear to ear with one arm slung around his girlfriend, Lexi Ann. "God, guys," he said. "Get a room already!"

"You get a room!" MC said, playfully poking the redhead in the chest. She was laughing, and she looked so beautiful...

Man, Zen just loved being with this girl. Being with her made everything better... So much so that he didn't mind Saeyoung's teasing, or Jumin's snide comments… He could even put up with all the other guys, even Christa Kim, ogling her and hitting on her constantly... With MC around, he could rise above it all and enjoy the RFA party despite himself… Well, at least until Echo Girl showed up.

When Echo Girl showed up, all bets were off. First of all, who did she bring with her as her date? None other than that trashy up-to-no-good ex-boyfriend who broke MC's heart. Yeah, the dude from latest article about the " _More Than Friends_ Love Triangle" in _Enquire magazine_. Yeah, the tall skinny rat who was pictured with his hands all over Zen's favorite yoga top. Damn. Zen shook his head, amazed. Just when you thought Echo Girl had done the most damage she could possibly do, she always found a way to up the ante, and this was her worst scheme yet. Zen looked over at his pretty girl, just moments ago radiant and smiling now clutching her stomach and looking sick. Fucking Echo Girl. God, this latest move with MC's ex was just unforgivable, and there was no way Zen was going to let it stand. He shot an angry, glaring look across the room to where Echo Girl was standing, chatting excitedly to Kwang-jo. If looks could kill...

"Guess I better go introduce myself…" Zen said, pulling himself up to his full height and balling his hands into fists. Without warning, he took off making long strides across the room, ignoring calls from MC, Saeyoung and other members to "wait".

Truth be told, Zen had no idea what he was going to do when he got to the pop star and her loser boy date. All he knew for sure was that he was in the mood to show that asshole a thing or two.

Getting closer, Zen noticed right away that he had the physical advantage over his nemesis. Zen was probably at least an inch or two taller than Kwang-jo, and incredibly fit. Kwang-jo, on the other hand, had the body type of a water skeeter. He was skinny and gangly with delicate wrists and hardly any muscle tone. Zen smiled to himself. This was going to be easy, maybe even fun.

Zen was already fuming. Then when he reached Echo Girl and her date, Echo Girl seemed pleased, which pissed him off even more. She put one hand on her hip and then shifted from one foot to the other in an obvious attempt to show off her pink gown. Zen thought she looked like a piece of Hubba Bubba bubble gum, previously chewed and spit out, of course.

"Oh, how nice of you to come greet me, my dearie Zen," she cooed, touching the jeweled brooch on her chest possibly in the hope that his gaze might be drawn there. No such chance. God, how could she still, even after all this time, dare to flaunt herself and flirt with him as if she had a chance in hell?

Kyungju gestured dramatically to the skinny rat beside her. "Zen, darling, this is my date, Kwang-jo, but..." She paused for a moment to bat her eyelashes and let loose a soft, self-congratulatory chuckle. "...you probably know him already."

"I know _of_ him," Zen corrected, his eyes burning red. "But only through some interesting anecdotes my girlfriend shared with me." Zen couldn't help but glare at the other man. How did this guy live with himself, knowing what he'd done to MC?

"Hey man," Kwang-jo said, smiling and sticking out a hand. "No hard feelings, eh bud?"

Zen scowled, infuriated with rage. _Did he just call me 'bud'? He didn't just call me 'bud"..._ Zen felt the heat of anger rise in his chest. Pressing his mouth into a firm line, he fought a strong urge to pop MC's ex right then and there.

"Look here, asshole," Zen said through clenched teeth. "There's no way I'm shaking your hand, and we are definitely not 'buds'..." He turned to Echo Girl. "Why'd you bring him here, Kyungju?"

Echo Girl looked up at Zen with puppy dog eyes. "Oh Lovey-hubby," she said. "You're not angry…" She raised a hand to cover her red lips with a feigned look of surprise and/or wonder. "...or maybe...jealous?"

Zen felt his whole body beginning to shake. He was seething with anger and had to squeeze his fists so that they would remain at his sides. What was it with this girl? Was she really that delusional? He'd had fucking enough!

"I'm certainly NOT jealous, Lovey-hunny," Zen said. He noticed that his voice sounded strange, mean and unrecognizable, even to himself. "I mean, when are you ever going to get it through your FUCKING head…" Zen raised both hands to his head, grabbing fistfuls of his silver hair in frustration. "I mean, god, Kyungju, I don't even LIKE you."

Zen shook his head in amazement as he watched the vapid smile disappear from Echo Girl's face and her eyes fill up with tears. "Aw, damn," he said. "So now you're going to cry? Give me a fucking break…" He threw up his hands in dismay. "I mean, the whole world knows you're an actress!"

"Now, hey, hey, hey," Kwang-jo said, taking it upon himself to butt in. He took a bold step forward so he was standing between Zen and Echo Girl. "Is that really any way to be talking to a lady?"

 _There aren't any ladies here,_ Zen thought angrily to himself. He couldn't help but notice that a small crowd had begun to gather, including some reporters holding notebooks and cameras. Although some vague, small part of himself realized what this meant, that his image, possibly the future of his career was possibly on the line, hanging in the balance, the larger part of him didn't really give a damn. He took one look at Kwang-jo's smug ugly face and made a choice.

"Now look here, dick face," Zen said, taking a bold step forward himself. Now the two men were standing face to face, just inches apart. "Number one, who asked you? And, number two, what the hell do you even know about ladies? I mean, I know how well you treated MC..."

Behind him, Zen could hear the sound of high heels clicking along fast on the wooden floor and other approaching footsteps. Soon MC and other RFA members were standing by his side. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Saeyoung, Lexi Ann, Jumin and Mi-Sun.

"Zen," MC said, tugging on his sleeve. "What's going on?"

"Stay out of this MC," Zen said, manipulating her behind his body, where she would be safe.

"Who you calling dick face, ballerina boy?" Kwang-jo retorted. Kwang-jo made a move to shove Zen, but Jumin stepped between the two men. He raised his arms, placing a hand on each man's chest to create some much needed space. To say the situation was getting heated would be an understatement.

"Now let's just calm down, shall we?" Jumin said, in his best business voice. "Need I remind you all that this is a charity event?"

"I don't care if it's Christ's second coming," Zen seethed, his red eyes flashing in his friend's direction. "Jumin, stay out of this."

MC was at his side again, pulling on his sleeve. "Zen, please don't," she said. "He's not worth it."

Kwang-jo began to laugh, throwing back his greasy head. It was a villainous, ugly sound.

"Not worth it, Kid?" Kwang-jo said, shooting a sideways glance in MC's direction. "Well, that's not exactly how you put it to me... well," he grinned. "...when I was putting it to you."

Zen had to fight to keep his fury under control as he watched Kwang-jo step back to give MC the slow once over. First he had to watch that rat fasten his snake eyes on her legs. Then he had to watch that filthy geezer's gaze wander upward to stare at her chest.

"You're looking good, Kid," Kwang-jo said, his voice low and lusty. He shot a smug glance in Zen's direction as if to say yeah-I-was-here-first before returning his attention to MC and seductively licking his lips.

Zen noted the look of fear on MC's face, the way she brought her arms up to her body and wrapped them protectively around her chest under the filthy rat's gaze. Zen felt a spike of rage surge through his body. He had to protect her. He would protect her...at any cost.

"Ok, that's enough, asshole!" Zen hissed through clenched teeth. Zen lunged at the other man, gunning for blood, but again, Jumin managed to step between them and hold Zen back.

"Zen, please…" MC pleaded from the sidelines.

Zen's breath was coming hot and fast, his adrenaline rising.

"Zen, listen to your girlfriend and calm down," Jumin ordered. Zen ignored him. He only had eyes, and a fist, for Kwang-jo.

"Don't talk to my girl that way," Zen shouted at the other man. "In fact, don't talk, or even look, or even think about her at all…" Zen lunged forward, his chest pressing against Jumin's hand, the only thing keeping him from ripping this fucker's head off. "In fact, why don't you just fuck off...Go back and crawl under whatever rock you came from!"

Jumin was still standing between the two men, one hand on each of their chests, keeping the distance. "Clearly, gentlemen, we have a problem…" Jumin looked from one man to the other, deciding what to do. He had just enough power and presence to give each man pause, but he didn't have much time. Finally, he cleared his throat and turned to Kwang-jo. "Uh, Mr., uh…" Jumin said, prompting the other man for his name.

"Pak," Kwang-jo said, sounding almost civilized, perhaps taken aback by Jumin's formal and polite tone. "The name is Pak Kwang-jo."

"Ok, then, Mr. Pak," Jumin started. "Perhaps it would be a good idea…" Zen watched with some amusement as his friend searched for a more appropriate way to say 'fuck off'. When Jumin found the words, he politely cleared his throat again before he spoke. "Mr. Pak, indeed perhaps it would be in the best interest of all parties if you did vacate the premises."

Kwang-jo looked at Jumin, and then at Zen, obviously puzzled. "What, what do you mean...you want me to leave the party?" Kwang-jo said, his eyes wide with what looked like astonishment, and then he chuckled, turning back to Jumin. "I'm sorry, Mr. Robot, but I'm not going anywhere." He looked over at MC, giving her body another appreciative once over. Zen felt every muscle, every nerve in his body hit red alert.

"Wait, Zen," Jumin hissed under his breath as he felt Zen's body tense up behind the force of his hand.

"Mmm, mmm…" Kwang-jo purred looking at MC. "You know, I take back what I said to you that day outside the yoga studio, MC. You do have your moments… and tonight, well tonight, Kid, you look absolutely tasty…It reminds me of the old days..."

That was it for Zen. The last word had barely made it out of the other man's mouth before Zen lunged forward with newfound super adrenaline strength. After pushing Jumin to the ground, Zen grabbed Kwang-jo around the neck. Seeing red and nothing else, the enraged actor backed his girlfriend's scumbag ex-boyfriend up against a nearby pillar, and began to squeeze. He heard MC, Lexi Ann, and possibly Mi-Sun, all screaming at him to stop from what seemed like some very far away place. He felt Jumin's hands on his coat as he tried to pull him away, but it was no use. Zen was in a full-blown state of rage.

"What did you say, asshole?" Zen said, shaking the scum bag, his eyes full of fire, adrenaline at its absolute peak.

"Zen!" MC shouted. Again, her plea reached Zen's ears like a muffled echo. He just couldn't really hear her. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? God, he's not worth it! Let him go, please!"

Kwang-jo's face was turning redder by the second. He was gasping for air, but somehow still managing to eek out some pretty choice words.

"I said I'd fuck her, ballerina boy…I fucked her before and I'd do it again, and again!" Kwang-jo said, trying to choke out a laugh. Zen couldn't believe that, despite everything, this rat was still trying to flash that shit eating grin. Realizing this just fueled Zen's fire even more, and so he squeezed harder.

Zen thought he'd felt true rage before, but he'd been wrong because that was nothing compared to the utter fury he was feeling now. He wanted to punch this asshole in the face and beat him until he felt nothing, but that meant he'd have to remove his hands from the man's throat. Instead he opted to content himself by banging the back of the man's head into the pillar.

"Oh my god!" He heard MC's faraway voice say. "Zen, please!"

Zen had been in his share of fights before. For a while, in the beginning when he first ran away from home, fighting had become a way of life. He got pretty good at getting in a good punch or two and then getting away. The fact that he was fast had saved his face, which was his livelihood, literally, more than once. But this time Zen didn't want to get away. He was surprised how much he wanted to stay and hurt this man. He wanted to hurt this bastard more, make him feel pain for how much hurt he'd caused MC.

Zen noticed with some satisfaction that Kwang-jo wasn't talking anymore and he had stopped trying to smile. His bug eyes looked sunken and heavy, and his face was turning a bit purplish. Now Zen felt two, no three, pairs of arms pulling him from behind and from each of his shoulders.

"Come on, Zen!" Saeyoung was saying. "He's had enough!"

"Yeah, god Zen!" Yoosung's voice was high and thin. "You're really hurting him!"

Good, Zen thought. Then he heard Jumin's calm, sure voice speak from somewhere near his right ear. "Zen," he said."You need to control yourself…You are acting like an animal."

Looking into the face of his enemy, feeling his hands around his neck, Zen certainly felt he didn't want to control himself. Soon he felt another strong, insistent tug on his shoulder.

"Zen!" Jumin said, in a voice firmer than before. " You need to stop… Get a hold of yourself…" When the actor didn't respond he tried another tactic. "MC is in distress! If you care about her at all, you'll stop this at once!"

When he heard those last words, Zen froze, his hands still wrapped around Kwang-jo's neck. What? MC in distress? The only thing Zen didn't want to do more than let go of Kwang-jo's throat was to listen to Jumin, but he couldn't deny his point. The image of his princess and the way she must be seeing him right now flashed through his mind. It was enough to break his rage and pull him back to his senses. Reluctantly, Zen loosened his grip on Kwang-jo's neck and let his friends pull him away from the man. Kwang-jo immediately clutched his throat with both hands, coughing and gasping for air.

"God damn it, man!" Kwang-jo said as soon as the color began to return to his face. "You could have killed me! You're a maniac!"

Zen backed away looking at his hands. As the rage subsided, the shame and horror of what he'd done flooded forward to take its place. He looked over at MC. Her beautiful face was white and filled with fear. Seeing her like that, and then knowing that he was the one who caused that pain... God, it delivered the most crushing blow to his heart, maybe the worst thing he'd ever felt.

"Oh god, MC," Zen said, feeling tears well up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…"

As soon as their eyes met, MC's face softened with relief and she rushed forward. Zen opened his arms to meet her and she threw her arms around his neck. Breathing a sigh of relief, Zen scooped her up off the floor and held her tightly to his body.

"Zen!" she cried. "Thank God you're… I was so scared!"

Zen buried his head into the side of her neck, nuzzling his face into her hair. "Oh Princess," he said. He was shaking and crying and some part of him knew that the reporters were having an absolute heyday, but he didn't care. "I'm so sorry I scared you… I didn't… I never meant to…" His voice trailed off because he knew all the things he was about to say next weren't exactly true. Horrified, he realized he did want to hurt Kwang-jo, he did mean to hurt him, etc.

"It's OK," MC said, moving his hair out his face with her fingers. "You stopped… You stopped…" He realized that she was crying, too. "Thank god, you stopped…"

Zen's heart sunk a little deeper into his chest as his next thought came into focus. Yes, he had stopped, but had he wanted to? Would he be able to next time? Would there be a next time? He trembled with fear remembering the rage that overtook him, and how it blasted him into a place where his sense of control all but vanished. God, he didn't just scare MC. He scared himself.

"MC," Zen said, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry… I'm not a monster, really I swear…"

\--- 

After the fight broke up, the party didn't. Once Zen had been pulled off of Kwang-jo and the was drama over, most of the regular party guests went back to their wine and appetizers as if nothing had ever happened. Only the press was still hanging around, waiting for their opportunity to swoop in and get the scoop.

Kwang-jo had been immediately hauled off to the infirmary to get his injuries checked, but soon he was back. Although Zen could see there were bruises starting to form on his neck, the skinny little rat otherwise looked OK. He certainly seemed OK, because he was shouting at the top of his lungs and making a scene, hell bent on pressing charges against Zen.

"That pretty boy asshole violently assaulted me!" He shouted to anyone who would listen. "I was just minding my own business..."

Smelling blood, reporters swarmed in with their cameras and their questions.

"How long have you known Echo Girl?" One asked the rat.

"How do you know MC?" Another one asked.

The reporters had a lot of questions for _Enquire's_ "Mystery Man," but luckily, Jumin was able to lure Kwang-jo away from the press and to a conference room to "discuss matters of reparations" before things got too out of hand.

"Come with me now, Mr. Pak," Jumin said, calmly. "I believe your immediate cooperation will prove to your benefit."

Meanwhile, Echo Girl was in full-on press mode, trying to find a way to spin the situation to her advantage. Even if it wasn't about her, she'd find a way to make it all about her, and frame the narrative in favor of South Korea's most celebrated couple Jae-joon and Ji-yoo. Go Team Echo Girl.

"Zen just gets so jealous," she said, batting her eyelashes. "He can't help himself… Remember what happened at the end of _More Than Friends Season 1_?" She giggled. "Well, I swear I thought that same scene was going to play out tonight…"

Zen rolled his eyes. Here we go, he thought. More of Echo Girl's extreme delusions. He and MC were standing off to the side, holding hands and following Jaehee's strict instructions to remain silent on the issue. Every once in a while, a brave reporter would approach the couple and attempt to ask a question.

"No comment," Zen would say, waving them off politely, every time.

"You're starting to sound like a broken record," MC teased. The air between them had been tense at first following the fight, and Zen was relieved to see that things were returning to normal.

"Yeah?" he said. "And?"

MC smiled. "Well, it's cute."

"You're cute," Zen said, leaning over to kiss her sweet lips. A flash bulb went off. Damn paparazzi. Oh well, Zen thought. It was probably a good picture, and a shot of him and his girl sharing a kiss would be a welcome improvement over the shit those damn tabloids had been printing lately.

"Hey Mr. Cameraman!" Zen heard Echo Girl's sugary voice and turned to see her shuffling toward the man who had just captured MC and Zen's kiss. "You want to get a photo of me and Zen, too, then?" She smiled. "A little Lovey-hubby on Lovey-hunny action?"

"I don't think so, Kyungju," Zen said, before the photographer could answer.

Echo Girl put a hand on her hip and frowned. "But Zen, have you forgotten your role?" She said. "Promo photos are part of your JOB...It's part of your contract."

Zen sighed, feeling disgusted. At the moment he really didn't fucking care what was in his contract and not. He was so tired of this lunatic woman. "Yeah, well," Zen said. "Then go call your daddy and have me fired."

Echo Girl turned to the photographer, but he was already walking away. "What?" She said, shocked at the photographer's obvious disinterest. "Well, I never…" Then she trotted after him, calling. "Yoo-hoo! Mr. Cameraman, don't you want a picture of just me then?"

Yes, Echo Girl was trying desperately to work the media and paint a good picture, but fortunately tonight no one seemed to be buying it. There were just too many inconsistencies.

"But isn't your date the 'mystery man' pictured with MC in the latest issue of Enquire?" one journalist asked. "Who is he and how did you end up bringing him to this party?"

"Yes," another journalist said, adding on. "Wasn't Zen really upset because this 'Mystery Man' had been seen in the paper with MC?"

"Well, yes, maybe that was part of it," Echo Girl said, trying to explain. "But I do think it must've been upsetting for Zen to also see him with me, don'tcha think?"

"I'm sorry," piped up another journalist. "How does that prove that Zen has feelings for you exactly? I'm afraid I'm failing to see the connection…"

"Oh, well, ah…" Echo Girl said, stammering.

Zen squeezed MC's hand and smiled. He had to admit he was enjoying this. He may have really lost his shit and almost really hurt a man badly, scaring the shit out of everyone and himself, but it all seemed to be playing out in Team MC's favor. The terrible events of the evening, awful as they were, had given the public some key insights into the " _More Than Friends_ Love Triangle". First of all, the fact that Echo Girl showed up at the party with MC's "Mystery Man" made her seem manipulative and desperate (which, in Zen's opinion, she was). Also, the fact that Kwang-jo had been so overtly aggressive gave Zen somewhat just cause. In the eyes of reporters, other party guests and his friends, Zen's reaction, although not ideal, was understandable.

"That jerk just pushed you to your limit," Yoosung said. He looked at his new girlfriend, Debbie, who was standing next to him and squeezed her hand. "If I were in your situation, Zen, honestly I don't know what I would do…"

"I doubt you'd jump on a guy like that," Zen said. He was still shuddering at the thought of himself and his rage. It really wasn't something he felt proud of. "You're too good a guy, Yoosung… You'd probably just challenge him to a game of LOLOL, kick his ass in the game, and be done with it."

Just then Saeyoung came bouncing over again, with Lexi Ann trailing slightly behind. Had he been dipping into the PhD Pepper again? All signs pointed to "yes."

"Didn't I tell you she'd end up hanging herself in the media?" Saeyoung said in reference to Echo Girl with a smug, satisfied grin on his face. "I dare say I couldn't have orchestrated this situation any better."

"Yeah, it's all happening… and the whole story isn't even out there yet," Lexi Ann said. "Just wait until the public finds out who Kwang-jo is, and what exactly he did to MC."

"Ya!" Saeyoung said. "Major sympathy card!"

"Uh," MC said. "I don't think I want anyone to know what went on with me and Kwang-jo..." She paused, chewing her lip. "It's not really anyone's business, is it? And I definitely don't want anyone feeling sorry for me."

Zen turned to MC, squeezing both her hands. God, he'd make sure she had whatever she wanted, whatever she needed. "Princess," he said, leaning forward until their foreheads touched. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to…" Then he shot a warning look at Saeyoung. "Right, Saeyoung?"

Saeyoung groaned and threw up his hands. "Ugh!" he cried. "You guys are no fun… no fun at all!"

Zen was just about to underscore his point to make damn sure Saeyoung understood when Jumin appeared. Jaehee was following close behind with her clipboard. She looked tired, and overworked, even though she was dressed for the party.

"Jumin!" MC said, an anxious look on her face. "What happened? Did you get him to leave?"

"Yeah," Yoosung said. "Is he still pressing charges?"

Zen stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked at the ground, preparing himself for the worst. He felt MC's small hand on his shoulder and her hair tickling his neck. "Don't worry, baby," she whispered. "You're going to be OK. We're going to be OK."

Jumin reached down to straighten a cuff on his jacket and cleared his throat. "The situation has been handled," he said.

Zen's head shot up. "What do you mean 'handled'?" he said. "Jumin, what did you do?"

Jumin gave Zen a cool look. "Well, you didn't give me much of a choice, did you, Zen?" he said, looking away. "I should've known you wouldn't be grateful for my assistance."

MC reached forward and grabbed Jumin's arm. "Oh Jumin, we are grateful," she said, nudging Zen in the arm and shooting him a look. "Aren't we, Zen?"

Zen pressed his lips into a firm line. Why was Trust Fund always butting into his life? He certainly didn't need his help. He felt MC's small foot kick him in the shin. "Aren't we, Zen?" she repeated with a firm don't-fuck-with-me voice he hadn't heard before. Zen snapped to attention.

"Uh, yeah, sure, thanks, Jumin," Zen said, sheepishly as MC shot him another look of displeasure. "What did you do exactly, Trust Fund?"

Jumin went on to explain how he had to pay Kwang-jo a certain sum of money to get him to leave the party, and then another certain sum of more money to stay away from MC. Zen felt his stomach sink with shame. He should be the one protecting MC, not Jumin.

"I'll pay you back, Jumin," Zen said. "Every cent."

"That is not necessary," Jumin said.

"Oh yeah it is," Zen said. "I won't stand for being in your debt…"

One corner of Jumin's mouth lifted into what might have been a tight smile. "I thought you might say something like that, Zen," he said with an exasperated sigh. "Do what you like…"

Jaehee stepped forward then, looking cross. "Zen," she said. "A brawl? Really?"

Zen looked down at his feet and sighed. He hadn't thought about Jaehee and the fact that his actions might generate a lot of extra work on her part. "God," he said, looking up into Jaehee's face. "I'm really sorry, Jaehee… I know this must be causing you a lot of…"

Jaehee didn't smile or even look at him as she cut him off. "You know, Zen...Your image and reputation are of the utmost importance…even if you don't seem to think so." She sighed. "First you decide you have to have a girlfriend in the first place," she said, shooting MC a look. "Then you get a tattoo…" She put a hand to her forehead. "A tattoo! I mean, really, Zen!"

Jaehee was looking at the actor now, waiting for him to speak.

"Jaehee, I…" Zen started, his red eyes pleading. "I know I've caused a lot of work for you, but god," he said, reaching for MC's hand. "We're so happy, Jaehee… I'm so happy."

Zen could see Jaehee's features start to soften behind her glasses so he took a step forward and put both hands on her shoulders. "Jaehee," he said, looking into her eyes so she could see how much he meant what he was about to say. "You are my most important, loyal fan, and for that, you mean so much to me. I appreciate everything you do for me, how much you're always looking out for me and my best interests." Zen paused and smiled. "In fact, I know I couldn't be this happy without you, without the things you've done, so thank you."

Jaehee looked stunned, and a little like she might fall over at any minute. In fact, everyone looked stunned, which made Zen think maybe he should remember to thank the people in his life more often.

"Well," Jumin said dryly. "Hell most certainly just froze over."

"Well," Jaehee said, coming back to life. "Thank you for saying that, Zen," she said, her cheeks turning slightly pink. "Still, this latest issue will have to be handled carefully, very carefully."

"Whatever you need," Zen said. "I'll do it."

Jaehee went on to explain that the best course of action would be to make a statement of some kind here at the party.

"If we can do it tonight, we can get out ahead of the story," she said. "Maybe we can even drive it…"

"Ya," Saeyoung said. "Team Echo Girl's looking bad, in a slump. We should swoop in and get her while she's down."

"OK," Zen said. "So what do I say?" He shot a protective glance at MC and squeezed her hand. "MC doesn't want anyone to know about her past…"

"Hmm…" Jaehee said, frowning. "That will complicate things a bit."

"Yeah," Yoosung said. "The whole thing with Kwang-jo makes Echo Girl look like a meddling bitch…"

"Yeah," Lexi Ann added on. "And if Kwang-jo isn't MC's ex, doesn't that favor Echo Girl's story that Zen was jealous because of her? I mean, why did he beat up Kwang-jo if it weren't for MC? Where are we without that motive?"

Jaehee sighed. "There will be rumors no matter what we say," she said. "Reporters were here tonight. They saw the whole thing go down."

"So what do we do?" Yoosung said.

Saeyoung's features suddenly brightened. "Wait," he said. "I know. I have a wicked, oh-so-wicked, idea…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Oh man... Zen really lost it! And Echo Girl gets the media smack down! What's more, the party's not over and there's more to come... This chapter was getting long so it looks like we're looking at a Party Part III coming up next... Stay tuned! Thanks (always) for reading, commenting, reviewing, feedback, etc. I love hearing from you :-) :-) :-)


	30. Truly, Madly, Deeply (Party Part III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Fair warning… hecka long chapter ahead with a crazy lemon twist at the end...

I had a feeling I knew what that crazy redhead was going to say before the words even left his mouth, but I hoped I was wrong. God, I hoped I was wrong, but I wasn't.

"Zen and MC should sing a romantic duet!" Saeyoung said, grinning for the big reveal. Jaehee's mouth popped open in surprise, and Jumin's face froze into a puzzled stare, but Yoosung began to clap his hands.

"Oooooh!" Yoosung squealed. "Good one, Seven! MC's voice is angelic!"

Angelic? I thought, feeling a little like puking. I glanced up at Zen. He was smiling.

"A romantic duet? Angelic?" Jaehee said, still looking confused. "What, are you telling me that MC can sing?"  
"Can she… damn!" Zen said, squeezing me around the shoulder and pulling me close. "Wait to you hear her, Jaehee… You're going to go mental."

"Yeah," Yoosung added. "She sang for Zen, for us, at Karaoke the other night and well, gosh…"

"Wait, wait, wait…" I said, feeling increasingly more nervous. "I don't know about this… What would we sing exactly? I mean, we haven't even practiced anything before…"

"You don't need practice," Saeyoung said like being prepared was the dumbest idea ever. "All you have to do is go up there and sing a song, any song that's halfway lovey dovey, and you'll have it made in the shade."

"I'm not so sure about that," I said, looking at Zen, but he already had that look in his eye, the one that said I-am-so-down-for-this. I shook my head, feeling doomed. He probably even already had a song in mind.

"Aw, don't worry, babe," Zen said, smiling. "Saeyoung's right… We don't have to perform, we just have to be 'us'."

"Yeah," Lexi Ann said. "It might even be kind of cute if you mess up…"

"Yeah," Yoosung said. "You know, like endearing…"

I looked at Jumin, who was standing stoic and silent next to Mi-Sun. Maybe he'd have some reason for pause, or just plain come to my rescue. "Jumin?" I said, hopefully. "What do you think?"

Jumin looked caught off guard, like a kid in class who didn't want to be called on. "Uh, hmm," he started, and then looked to Jaehee. "Assistant Kang is more the expert in Public Relations… Uh, Assistant Kang?"

Jaehee's cheeks blushed a little pink at the compliment. "Thank you, sir, Mr. Han," she said, beaming, and then turned to me. "If it's true you can sing, then I do think a romantic song could be a nice touch… Really anything we can do to mitigate the earlier events of this evening would be welcome and appreciated."

I looked at the ground, remembering. Earlier this evening, Echo Girl had shown up to the party with my ex-boyfriend, Pak Kwang-jo, in tow as her date. Zen had recognized him from the pictures recently published in _Enquire_ and confronted him. It hadn't gone well. Both men took an immediate dislike to each other, exchanged some heated words and, before anyone knew it, Zen was choking my ex against a pillar. I shuddered remembering the fiery look in Zen's eyes, and how distant, detached and different he seemed as his anger took over. I'd never seen him that way, and it scared me.

Saeyoung clapped his hands together like a little kid. "Good," he said. "Then it's settled. MC and Zen will win over the hearts and minds of South Korea with song!" The redhead spun around to face the actor. "Zen, what song do you have in mind?"

"You can tell I already have a song in mind?" Zen said. "Am I that obvious, that predictable?"

None of us had to think about it and we all answered in unison. "Yes."

The tips of Zen's ears turned pink and he stammered. "Well, OK then, yes," he said, looking a little irritated. "As a matter of fact, I do have a song in mind…"

\--- 

The song Zen had in mind was "Best Part" by Daniel Caesar. Luckily I did like it, and already knew it pretty well.

"I know you like it," Zen said, teasing me with his eyes.

"How do you know I like it?" I said. I didn't remember ever saying anything about it.

"It's the look you get on your face," he said. "When it comes on the radio… You get all dreamy and then you always hum along to the chorus." He paused to kiss me on the lips. "God, honestly, it's so cute."

God, was he always paying attention to me, like always? Now _that_ was cute.

The plan was that Zen and I would retreat to one of the second floor office spaces for a quick run-through of the song, while Jaehee and Saeyoung worked to prepare the press statement and coordinate with the band to provide the music. In a half an hour, we'd reconvene. Zen would speak, and then we'd sing.

"No big deal," Yoosung had said, his purple eyes flashing with optimism. "MC," he said, pulling me aside. "They are going to love you, just love you… If there are folks out there in the audience who aren't Team MC, then they will be… I just know it."

I had to smile. Honestly, Yoosung was the sweetest, most earnest soul I'd ever known.

Once plans were set, Zen and I found a business office on the second floor where we could practice. It was the first time we'd been alone together since the incident with Kwang-jo, and I could tell something was up.

"Zen," I said, reaching a hand out to tug his sleeve. He was busy trying to arrange the office tables and chairs into a semi-circle to mimic the shape of a stage, but kept arranging and rearranging the furniture with a dissatisfied look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Pretty Girl," he said, flashing me a smile, all teeth. I recognized it as one of his "theater" expressions. It was hard to believe there was ever a time when I couldn't tell the 'real' Zen from 'acting' Zen, when it was so obvious and apparent to me now.

"OK," I said, moving closer to him, taking both of his hands in mine. "So that's a 'Tei's Tea Leaf' grin, if I've ever seen one." I looked up, searching the features of his face. As my gaze intensified, the Tei Tea Leaf facade fell away, leaving his red eyes looking sad, scared, unguarded. "Come on, babe," I said. "What's up? You know you can talk to me."

"Damn," he said, cracking a real half smile. "When did you get to know me so well, Princess?" He bent down to kiss me and I parted my lips in anticipation. The kiss was soft, warm, slow, and grateful.

"God," he said, pulling his face back from mine, cupping both my cheeks with his hands. "Is it true that you still love me? Even after… damn!" He shook his head as if trying to shake off a memory, and his eyes started to fill up and quake with tears. "Man, Princess… I can't tell you how sorry I am…"

"Shhh…" I said, reaching up to wipe a stray tear as it slid down his cheek. "Babe…" I started. The sad, deflated look on his face made me want to cry, too. What could I possibly say to make him feel better?

"Honestly, I _was scared_ ," I said, finally. "Scared for _you_ …" I paused. "I mean, what if you really hurt him? Or got arrested? How would you feel, how would that affect you in the long run?"

"Yeah," Zen said. "I know…"

"You know, we really have Jumin to thank for that," I said. "I mean, if he hadn't bought Kwang-jo off, he would have made our lives hell."

Zen's red eyes got dark. "Damn, don't I know it," he said. "I hate owing that Trust Fund Jerk anything."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I don't think you owe him anything," I said. "I mean, we all make mistakes… Do you think I've never done anything I regretted afterwards?"

"Yeah, but…" Zen said. "I doubt you ever… I mean, I can't see you ever, _hurting_ anyone…"

I smiled and bit my lip. "Well, I did punch a girl in the face once…" I said. Zen's eyes popped wide in surprise.

"You did?" he said, disbelieving.

"Yeah," I said. "Back in high school, when I was 15 or 16 years old, I think… Someone was spreading horrendous rumors about me giving blow jobs to all the boys on the wrestling team… I mean, it was awful… Everyone was calling me 'BJ MC' and 'Ms. Swallow-it-all…"

"No! Seriously?" Zen said.

"Yeah," I said. "Well, it wasn't true, of course, and I couldn't imagine who would say such things, and why people would even believe them, you know?" Zen nodded. "Then I found out it was my best friend, Eun-Kyung..."

"No way!" Zen said. "Damn…"

"Yeah," I said. "I was pretty much livid… I mean, I felt totally betrayed and kind of lost it… I mean, she was my best friend!" I paused, thinking wow, I really suck at picking best friends, what with Kira and Kwanjo and all, and then I went on. "Well, one day we met up in the park after school, you know, just to talk...but then the next thing I knew I clocked her in the face…" I paused, remembering the way it felt when my knuckles impacted her skin…the way it sounded when the bones in her face went "crack"... and then the blood, oh there was so much blood afterwards. "Yeah," I said, shuddering at the memory. "I broke her nose… and then I was so scared, I ran."

"Man!" Zen said. "Did you get in trouble?"

"Of course!" I said. "I mean, some kids from school were there, they saw it…" I sighed. "I think I got suspended for like, three days… My parents were pissed…" I looked down at one of Zen's hands, the one I was still holding, and smoothed the inside of his wrist with my thumb. "The point is…" I said, looking up to meet his gaze. "I mean, by far the biggest thing I remember is how scared I felt… Not of her, exactly, but of myself… I thought, wow, I can hurt someone like this?" I searched his face. "You know what I mean?"

Zen nodded. Turning his wrist over, he grabbed my hand, covering it with both of his. "Yeah," he breathed. "I know."

"So," I said, leaning forward until our foreheads touched. "You're not alone." Zen nodded and swallowed, and then I thought I saw a lingering fear cross his features.

"Hey," I said, my brown eyes searching his in earnest. "Don't worry… Doing this doesn't mean you're a monster…" I paused. "It means you're human."

"Yeah, but…" he said, his eyes narrowed and I could tell he was remembering something. "God, I hate that guy for what he did to you…and you know what? I'm not sure I'm sorry."

"I know, I get it..." I said, kind of loving him for loving me like he did. For better or worse, I knew he would protect me. We would protect each other.

"What if I…" He sighed and then buried his face in his hands. "What happens next time? The next time he or someone else threatens you…" He looked up suddenly with fire in his eyes. "Honestly, I'm not going to be able to just stand by and…"

"Zen, honey, let's take it one day at a time, OK?" I said, putting a finger to his lips. "You do have control… I know you do, because I know you…Plus..." I scooted my body closer so I could fit my arms around his waist. "We have each other."

"Oh god, Princess," Zen said, his voice cracking and fresh tears appearing in his eyes. "How is it…" he paused to shake his beautiful head and then he smiled. "Aw man, what did I do to deserve you?"

I leaned my head forward so our foreheads were touching again and I could see deeply into his glowing red eyes. "I could say the same, you know," I whispered. He smiled, leaning down to kiss me once, softly on the lips.

"You know," Zen said. "You are pretty good with your mouth… Are you sure you weren't…"

I swatted him. "Zen!" I said, blushing bright red.

"I mean, the whole wrestling team," he said. "Damn…"

I let him pull me in close and kiss me harder, pressing my body to his with an intensity that made my heart beat like mad. God, I loved this boy. I really did.

\--- 

Time slipped away pretty quickly, and soon it was show time.

"You ready?" Zen said, his red eyes searching mine. A half an hour is not a lot of time to learn a song, and I wasn't sure I had all the lyrics, but it would have to do.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound confident, reassuring. "Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

Jaehee met us by the stage and handed Zen an index card filled with small font type. "Just a few notes," she said. "But you should say what comes from your heart… The important part is that it rings true."

Zen scanned the card and nodded. "I think I got it, Jaehee," he said. "Don't worry." Then he turned to me. "OK, ready babe?" I nodded.

"OK, I'm going to introduce you," Jaehee said to Zen. "Then you come up…"

"I'll say my bit, and then call MC up for the song…" Zen said, bobbing his silver-haired head.

"You got it," Jaehee said with a tight smile. "Good luck."

A moment later the band stopped playing and the singer motioned Jaehee to the stage.

"Good evening, ladies and gentleman," Jaehee said into the microphone. "I trust that everyone is having a good time at the party…" She paused for some faint applause. "As some of you are probably aware we had a little drama play out tonight between one of our members and a guest... Some of you may also be aware of some accompanying drama that's been playing out in the media over the past several weeks… The stories that have been circulating involve two of our members and the pop star Echo Girl. Given tonight's incident we thought it pertinent that one of the involved parties, the musical actor Zen, make an official statement to the press. Without further ado, let's please give a warm welcome to one half of the Korea Now Network's _More Than Friends_ , the RFA's very own Zen!"

"Now why would she have to go blow it by saying that?" Lexi Ann said, whispering in my ear. "'One half of _More Than Friends'_ , who's side is she on anyway?"

"Oh, she's probably just nervous," I whispered back. "You know Jaehee hates Echo Girl more than anyone."

Back when I was coordinating my first party, Echo Girl was already causing problems for Zen. One night, after going to his apartment and basically throwing herself at him, she accused Zen of sexually harassing her. It had caused a huge scandal, and Zen had to give a press conference at that party in an effort to clear his name. I had to smile to myself, remembering. This was also the same press conference where he introduced me to the world as his girlfriend. I'll never forget that moment when he called me up on stage and took me into his arms...

"I just needed the whole world to know you're mine," he had said afterwards. "I love you."

Anyway, the scandal caused a lot of work for the RFA in general, to track down information that would help corroborate Zen's side of the story, but as always, it caused the most work for Jaehee. Not to mention the fact that Jaehee has always been hyper-focused on Zen's image and reputation. To this day, I still don't think she likes the idea of Zen having a girlfriend at all, although I think she's getting used to me.

Back at tonight's party, the crowd started to whoop and cheer as soon as Zen took the stage.

"Zen! You are amazing!"

"I LOVE you Zen!"

Zen held up a hand and waved. He had a cute, boyish smile on his face and I could see the very tops of his cheeks were turning pink. He may be a narcissist and all, but somehow he still managed to become truly humble in the face of his fans' admiration.

"Hello," Zen said, picking up the mic. "It's great to be here with all of you…" The silver-haired actor paused for a roar of applause, shrieks and whistles. "I'd like to give a special shout out to my fans, who I am forever grateful to… This journey, my journey, would be nothing without you." Zen flashed a self-effacing, just your run of the mill boy-next-door actor smile and graciously waved his way through the next round of applause before going on.

"A few months ago, I stood on this stage before you and opened my heart. At that time, I talked to you about a conflict I was feeling between my real self and my public image… I shared with you my desire for honesty and need for transparency. At that time, I was facing sexual harassment allegations from my co-star, Echo Girl… I also introduced you to the new love of my life… Yes, she's out there in the crowd somewhere right now…MC?"

Zen peered out into the audience to a mixture of jeers and applause as a searchlight swept the crowd. When it finally rested on me, I felt my whole body go rigid, a frozen smile pasted to my pink cheeks. I gave Zen a shy wave and then quickly averted my eyes. I was never one for this kind of attention. Yet another thing I was just going to have to get used to if I wanted to continue to date an actor.  
"Well, you'll get to see more of MC later tonight, I promise," Zen said, smiling. "But first I've got some important information to share with you."

My stomach lurched in response to the combination of boos and cheers that followed. God, what if I sucked so bad they threw things onto the stage? I mean, really it was Zen they wanted to see, not me. Zen and Echo Girl, that was what was expected. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the pop singer. She was standing with a group of young scowling teens with her arms folded across her chest. She did not look happy. I wondered if she knew that me and Zen were going to sing tonight?

Back on stage, Zen was killing it. He had this amazing way of commanding the room, but yet making his presence feel personal. "Tonight I'm going to ask you again to bear with my need for honest and transparent communication between us…" Zen said, his red eyes open, sincere. Then he gestured to all the people in the room. "You want to know me, right? The 'real' me, right?"

Of course they wanted to know the real Zen! The crowd erupted and roared their approval, and at least one voice stood out among the rest. "Yes! Zen! We love you for you are!"

"Aw, man," Zen said, blushing in response to the fan's words. "That's honestly one of the sweetest things a fan's ever said to me. Thank you for that…"

I looked over in the direction of the fan's voice and saw a young girl of about thirteen wearing a _The Jalapeno Topping Was Pretty Spicy_ tee-shirt and a huge Zen fan button. Her hair was done up in two red ponytails and her face was dotted with freckles. So cute.

"Jaehee must have opened up the party to the fans outside," Saeyoung whispered in my ear. "Good PR move, if you ask me."

I nodded, feeling a little apprehensive. Yeah, more Zen and Echo Girl fans to hear me sing. I pushed the thought from my mind, trying to stay positive.

When the applause died down, Zen continued his speech. "Well I wish could tell you tonight that all the issues from the scandal a few months ago have been resolved, but they have not." Zen paused long enough to let murmured tones of disapproval and surprise ripple through the crowd, and then he resumed. "Unfortunately, those issues are just playing out in a different way… If you've been keeping up with the papers, you're likely familiar with the thing the media's calling the _More Than Friends_ love triangle... Well, that's anything but resolved." Zen had to pause once more as words from both sides, Team MC and Team Echo Girl, were exchanged.

"Aw, come on," Zen said with a pained expression on his face. "There's no need for this…" He gestured from one side of the room to the other where factions of both teams were gathered. "There's no need for sides. In fact, you already know, or should know, anyway, who holds my heart…" Zen paused to look at the crowd, sweeping the sea full of faces. "Am I right? Did I not get up here a couple of parties ago and declare my love for a certain lady?"

That was when one half of the crowd started to shout "MC, MC, MC…" and Zen smiled. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right," he said, chuckling. "At least one half of this crowd knows what's up…"

I looked down at the ground, my face burning bright red. Media darling I was not.

Zen put a hand on his chest and waited for the audience to regain its composure, and then went on. "But what's up with that other half?" Zen said, shrugging his shoulders in question. Zen took a step back from the microphone and looked at the floor. In a rare moment, he didn't bother to hide his irritation. He just shook his silver head and sighed. The audience was dead silent.

"Dang," Lexi Ann said. "Even I feel like shit… and I didn't do anything."

After a moment or two Zen returned to the microphone, hands on his hips. "Look," he said, looking up. I could see his eyes were getting a little misty. God, only Zen could pull off a heart-to-heart with hundreds of people. "In all seriousness, I love you guys. You're my FANS. But I also have a right to a personal life, don't you think?" He scanned the room, his red eyes reaching out to each and every soul. "A personal life of my own choosing, yeah?" The audience was basically quiet, but I could see a lot of people nodding their heads and/or looking at the floor.

"So, then, in all seriousness, for the people who still seem confused about my personal life, let's settle the score once and for all, shall we?" Zen flashed a goofy grin and then leaned forward, cupping an ear with one hand, signaling he was ready to lighten the mood. "Hey, South Korea!" He said, kind of joking, kind of not. "You listening?" The crowd stayed silent, dumbfounded, and so Zen said it again. "I said," he repeated, with a grin. "South Korea, are you listening?"

Finally getting that they were supposed to play along, and probably a little relieved to be beyond the "seriousness", the crowd roared in the affirmative.

"OK, then, good..." Zen said, laughing, and then he pointed to the press in the front row. "Now this goes for you guys, too, right? No more excuses, no more speculation over who I love because I'm getting ready to tell you right now, once and for all, OK?"

Zen paused to walk the length of the stage and wipe his brow. I think he was having fun with this, even if it was also starting to get kind of awkward. I glanced over at Echo Girl. She was white as sheet and looking mortified… So mortified I almost felt bad for her. Then almost as if he had heard my thoughts, Zen stopped at the north end of the stage, near where Echo Girl was standing.

"Oh," Zen said, looking up and addressing his co-star in an I-almost-forgot kind of way. "You too, Loveyhunny," he said with a sardonic smirk just for her. "Better make sure you're listening, too… This is definitely for you, babe."

"Damn," Saeyoung said. "Turns out Zen's got some balls on him…"

"Or perhaps a career suicide wish," Jumin said, and then he smiled. "Although I would be telling a mistruth if I said I didn't find this entertaining."

Echo Girl's face went from sheet white to beet red in a matter of seconds. "Oh, is that so?" Echo Girl spat the words back at Zen best she could, a valiant effort to try and save face. "Why don't you just go fuck yourself, Loveyhubby, and then we'll see you on the home shopping network real soon."

Luckily, neither Zen nor Echo Girl had a microphone in their hands at the time, so only the people in the immediate vicinity heard the exchange. Looking around, I didn't see any reporters or paparazzi, just some shocked looking fans and those of us from the RFA. I sucked in a was likely going to be some fallout from this encounter, but maybe the fact that it was somewhat contained would minimize the damage.

I glanced over at Jaehee, who hadn't said a word. She was just clutching her clipboard to her chest with white knuckles. The look on her face made me hope that she wouldn't burst a blood vessel.

Back on stage, Zen was moving away from Echo Girl and returning to the mic. "OK, then," he said, beaming to the crowd. "Now that I think we have everyone's attention, I think we can move forward and settle this _More Than Friends _Love Triangle thing once and for all, yes?"__

____

__

At this point, most of the audience, not all but definitely more than half, started to chant "YES, YES, YES…" Then, Zen, in the manner of a rockstar, raised both arms to signal silence and they stopped.

"They love him," Mi-Sun said, sounding shocked. "They really love him."

"That's my baby," I said. "He does have a way with an audience."

"This is getting ridiculous," Jumin said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Such a narcissist…"

"Yeah," Saeyoung said, beaming. "But he's our narcissist…"

Back on stage, Zen was getting ready for the big reveal. "OK, then for the record…" Zen said, pausing for dramatic affect. "For the record, again, actually since I already declared this two RFA parties ago… You all need to know… The whole world needs to know that, forever and always, MC is my girl… She's the only one who holds my heart, the only one my heart beats for, end of story." Zen faced forward and threw his hands into the air. "That clear enough for you, South Korea? Coming in loud and clear?"

More than half the crowd went wild in response to this, while the other side (presumably the Echo Girl side) sulked in silence, knowing enough to at least keep their jeers and catcalls to themselves. I looked for Echo Girl, but I didn't see her. If I were her, I'd probably disappear, too.

"Anybody else think that maybe Zen took that a little too far?" Jaehee said, wiping her forehead with a handkerchief. Her voice was an octave higher than usual and she was still clutching that clipboard as if her life depended on it.

"Typical Zen," Jumin said, straightening the sleeves on his jacket. "So emotional. Always so emotional."

"Did he even reference the note card I gave him?" Jaehee said. "Why does he think I gave it to him?" Jaehee raked a hand through her hair and sighed. "Oh, why do I bother?"

"Well, I think it's sweet," Debbie, Yoosung's new girlfriend said. "It's so romantic don't you think, Yoosey?"

Yoosey? I thought. Ugh.

The RFA members weren't the only ones who couldn't stop talking about Zen's performance. The entire crowd was abuzz with Zen's grand romantic gesture. All around me, I could hear fans and non-fans alike all chattering about Zen and pretty much nothing else. I couldn't help but catch little snippets of conversation.

"Wow!" one fan, blond about sixteen, said to another girl with purple hair about the same age, or maybe a bit older. "Can you believe that! He must really love her... "

"I know," the friend replied. "That is so sweet… You know, I knew he would be that kind of guy…"

"Right?!" The blond friend said. "He's so dreamy! Oh my god, I wish I had a Zen…"

"Me, too…" said purple hair. "Sigh."

Zen was still standing on stage, perhaps hoping that the hubbub would die down on its own. When it didn't, he finally had to wave everyone quiet again.

"Sorry, folks," he said. "But I've got to get serious again. I have a serious confession I need to make here…"

"Oh god," Jumin said. "He's not done?"

"He hasn't even addressed the incident yet," Jaehee said.

The room responded by getting deathly quiet. I mean, you could hear a pin drop. Zen did that thing again, where he sweeps the audience with his red gaze in a way that makes you feel like he's talking to you, and you alone.

"I lost my temper here tonight…" Zen started slowly. "Like a lot of you, I saw that article in _Enquire_ magazine this morning, the one with pictures of MC and some other dude…" Zen paused to wipe sweat from his forehead. "Yeah, well I'm not proud of it, but I have to admit that, yeah, I let the media get the better of me…"

My mouth dropped open. Zen purposely made no mention of Kwang-jo's past relationship to me. He was completely taking the rap by offering his own jealous impulses as motive, and leaving me out of it. My heart swelled with gratitude and relief.

Zen waited as hushed murmurs made their way through the audience, and then went on. "Well, guess what?" Zen said. "That dude showed up here tonight…" Hearing this, the audience let loose a collective sound of surprise and Zen had to use his rockstar move again to get them to quiet down. "Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but I lost my temper with that gentleman… I lost my temper, and now I'd like to apologize… to that gentleman, to you my fans, to my friends, and most of all to MC." Zen looked at me again from the stage in such a way that made me my soul cry out to his. "Babe, I'm so sorry I let myself fall prone to that media bullshit... I love you and I swear never to doubt your faithfulness again."

With these words, the crowd burst into applause and then melted in a cacophony of responses … Everything from "Oh, how sweet" to just plain "Awwww!" Again, like a middle school teacher, Zen had to call them back to attention.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Zen called. "Hang on… I'm not quite done yet, folks…" Eventually the noise started to die down and Zen continued to speak. "There's one more piece of information I'd like to share with you and then I promise you I'm done…" He waited until the crowd quieted more and then he spoke. "As I said, there's one more piece of information I feel obliged to share with you and, once I do, I'll let you come to your own conclusions about everything that was said tonight…"

"Finally!" Jaehee muttered under her breath. "Something from the fricking note card!"  


Zen paused to lock eyes with members of the audience to imbue the seriousness of what he was about to say next. "As I said earlier, The Mystery Man from the _Enquire_ article was here at the party tonight, but one more thing that you need to know is that he came here with Echo Girl…" A shockwave of dismay rolled through the audience and Zen went on. "Yeah, Mystery Man was Echo Girl's date… What do you all make of that? What does that make you think about who's behind the _More Than Friends_ love triangle rumors now?"

Zen turned away from the microphone and walked the length of the stage almost like the news was even too much for him to bear as the audience roared their surprise, shock and awe. Zen let them have their moment, maybe a full two or three minutes, before returning to the microphone.

"OK, ladies and gents," he said, smiling. "That's all I'm going to say about it… I, for one, would prefer not to give Echo Girl any more of my stage time…wouldn't you agree?" Again the audience roared their approval. God, they loved him. They really did.

"Now, on an entirely different note," Zen said, switching gears. "My lady and I have a special surprise planned for you…" There were "oohs" and "aahs" all around. "Now you might have been expecting a different kind of duet, but recently I learned something new about my awesome girlfriend…" Zen paused and smiled, leaning in toward the audience like he was sharing a secret. "She's a singer… an incredible singer… like maybe even better than me…" Zen blushed slightly, looking a lot like a little boy in love. The crowd "oohed" and "awww-ed" again. "So MC & I are going to sing for you now…" Zen motioned for me to come up on stage. "Come on up, Pretty Girl…"

The crowd, again, started to get wild as I made my way I towards the stage. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yoosung and Debbie, both of them smiling big Yoosung smiles. Wow, I thought, they sure do belong together, a true pair. As I passed, I felt Yoosung reach down and squeeze my hand. "Knock 'em dead, MC," he said, winking one bright purple eye. "I know you will."

"Thank you," I said, squeezing back. I took a deep breath and kept on walking, pushing my way through the crowd on my way to the stage. When I reached the stairs, Zen was there, holding out a hand to help lead me up. I was so nervous I felt like a newborn lamb finding its feet for the first time, encumbered more so by the fact that I was wearing these damn high heel shoes.

"Hey Princess," Zen said, steadying me with both hands. "You OK? I got you…"

I'd never been a big fan of being on stage, performing. Even playing with my band in high school had been hard. Now, standing on stage with Zen in front of a sea of people, I felt the familiar fear begin to kick in. My heart was hammering hard in my chest, my breath was coming too fast and catching in my throat... Looking out into the audience, there were just so many faces...

"Princess," Zen whispered, squeezing my sweaty fingers. "Look at me. Don't look at them. Look at me."

I forced myself to turn my head away from the blinding stage lights and the audience and look at Zen. Yeah, we were on stage, in front of probably hundreds of people, but there was my pretty boy, smiling at me, making me feel like I could accomplish anything.

"You're beautiful," Zen said, squeezing my fingers again. "God, so beautiful." His eyes were looking into mine with nothing but adoration as he touched my cheek and lifted me to him. I had to stand on tiptoe for the kiss. When my lips touched his, I felt my body involuntarily shudder. In the background, from somewhere that sounded far away, I thought I heard the audience roar.

When the kiss was over, Zen reached over to position the microphone between us. It was show time.

"Keep looking at me, Princess," he said, indicating his eyes and then mine with his two fingers. "It's just us here, only you and me."

I nodded, taking in a huge, calming yoga breath, and then I swallowed. In the business office, we agreed that I'd sing the first verse, then Zen would join in midway to the chorus, then he'd sing the second verse, and so on. That meant I was up first. I held my breath as the band picked out the first few notes of the melody on guitar and waited for my cue… Then I missed it. I was so busy being nervous that I completely spaced.

"Shit," I said, under my breath.

"It's OK," Zen whispered as he signaled to the band to play the intro again.

This time, when the cue came around, Zen nodded and squeezed my hand. This time, I didn't think about it, I just opened my mouth…

_"You don't know, babe… When you hold me… And kiss me slowly… It's the sweetest thing…"_

As I sang the first lines, the audience was silent, almost like they were holding their breath, almost like they couldn't believe what they were hearing. I was still feeling nervous, but less so… Zen's hands had shifted from my hands to my hips and he'd moved closer to me. He was looking at me the way he'd looked at me when I sang for him the first time, a kind of cross between hypnotized and mesmerized, and it was easy to get pulled into the moment. I was just thinking about how beautiful, how perfect he was, when Zen started to sing, too joining in with me mid-verse and harmonizing...

_"You're the coffee that I need in the morning... You're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring… Won't you give yourself to me... Give it all…"_

Singing with Zen like this was like kissing him, only better... that's the only way I could think to describe it... Like kissing but all around you in the air, a way to share your souls like you share your lips. My heart was beating madly now, no longer because I had stage fright, but because Zen was near me, so close to me in a way I never imagined possible…

_"I just wanna see how beautiful you are… You know that I see it… I know you're a star… Where you go I follow… No matter how far…"_

Our voices were mingling together, our very inner beings intertwining, his touching me, mine touching him… We were exploring each other, tasting each other, feeling each other's hearts. Honestly, it was like sex, but on another next level, maybe even another dimension…

The second verse was Zen's, and so I got to watch, listen and just drink him in. God, here was singing to me and I couldn't stop looking at his face… The chiseled, sweet, sincere nature of his features… I just wanted to dive deep into his eyes, pull myself inside him, make him a part of me...

_"It's the sunrise… And those brown eyes, yes… You're the one that I desire…"_

As he continued to sing, Zen put a hand in my hair, twirling a lock around his finger, returning my adoring look of affection triple-fold. I was feeling love struck, going weak in the knees, and so I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around his waist as he sang on...

_"When we wake up… And then we make love… It makes me feel so nice…"_

I had become unaware of the audience at this point, oblivious to the fact that they were even there… until Zen got to the "and then we make love" part of the song, and then the fans lost their minds. It was almost if those words alone were enough to conjure the image of what Zen must be like in bed in the minds of the audience, and I realized, smiling to myself, that I was lucky enough to know. Thinking of this made me conscious of a hot giddiness building deep in the pit of my belly and a growing heat between my legs. There was just something about the whole audience wanting to see Zen naked, or just wanting him, period... and then knowing he was mine, all mine. Such a major turn on.

Midway through the second verse, it was time for me to start singing again, and so I started harmonizing with Zen like he did with me during the first.

_"You're the Tylenol I take when my head hurts… You're the sunshine on my life… I just wanna see how beautiful you are… You know that I see it… I know you're a star…"_

We continued to sing, our voices melting together like candy, in each other's arms. The last lines of the song repeated and, during the final go around I gasped... Without warning, Zen picked me up, his hands holding me tight around his waist. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his back. Touching foreheads we sang the last words of the song into each other's hearts...

_"If you love me won't you say something… If you love me won't you… Love me, won't you…"_

...and then he kissed me.

The crowd exploded with roaring applause. Along with the clapping came shouts, hooting and hollering and the thunderous sound of pounding feet... but all the adoration and appreciation in the world didn't matter. The audience, the press, our friends, even Echo Girl mise well have been a million miles away because here it was only us. Only us that mattered.

"I love you, MC," Zen said, after the kiss. Our foreheads were still touching and, at least for the moment, we will still locked in our own special little world.

"I love you, too, Ryu Hyun…" I said, stroking the back of his neck. "I love you so much, I think I might explode…"

\--- 

After the performance, I couldn't wait to get Zen home and all to myself, but when we left the stage, it was impossible to get away. We were immediately accosted by swarms of people. Adoring fans, eager to congratulate, over-effusive and smiling with tears in their eyes… The reporters and paparazzi, asking for comments and flashing their cameras… Our friends, smiling and full of praise... even Jaehee seemed pleased.

"Well played, Zen," Jaehee said. The press conference and performance over, she was looking more relaxed, even sipping a glass of wine. "Maybe not exactly the way I would've done it, but I think it had a good outcome."

"You killed it, dude," Saeyoung said, slapping Zen on the back. "I can't wait to get home, start culling the media and spreading it around the internet…" Then Saeyoung turned to me. "Didn't I tell you this Echo Girl thing would practically take care of itself?" He grinned. "You just wait… She's finished. I'm telling you, she's history."

We could only hope, I thought. I looked at Zen. Yes, the best thing for all of us would be if Kyungju would just silently disappear, vanish for good, never to interfere in our lives again. Although, honestly, after tonight, what happened to Echo Girl didn't matter to me as much. The only thing I knew in that moment for sure was I was feeling good about myself and solid about my relationship with Zen. Together we were unstoppable, impervious to whatever madness Echo Girl had in store. Tonight had proved it.

\--- 

Finally, we were in the car and on our way our way home, and I was feeling anxious. Couldn't Driver Kim drive any faster? Ever since we sang together on stage, I had been burning for Zen, like even more than usual. Something about the way it felt up there together, sharing more than just our physical selves made me want to complete the circle by just fucking his brains out.

"Hey," I said, a thought occurring to me. "Is that how it always is… I mean, to sing with someone?" I held my breath, hoping that I knew the answer. I didn't think I'd be able to take it if he told me it was even a little bit like that with Echo Girl.

Zen shook his silver-haired head definitively. "No," he said. "I've never felt that way before singing with anyone, ever."

He pulled my chin around to face him and then I was staring deep into those red eyes again about ready to lose myself.

"Zen..." I said, pulling his face to mine for a kiss. I had meant to just kiss him once, and save the bulk of my passion for when we got home...but once his lips were on mine, my body got greedy all at once. Moving closer, I wrapped my arms around his neck, in his hair, all the while kissing him harder, more urgently. His mouth returned the favor and I felt his hands running up and down my bare back.

"MC," Zen said, his breath hot on my ear between kisses. "Tonight...you were...amazing…"

"Mmm…" I murmured. Then, suddenly remembering Driver Kim, I pulled back. "I know I started this..." I whispered, indicating Driver Kim with a nod in his direction. "...but we should probably hit 'pause' until we get home…"

"What? You don't want to give the old man a show?" he whispered back. The naughty look in Zen's eye was almost enough to make me reconsider, but I contented myself to nuzzle and fit myself into the crook of Zen's arm and hold his hand. Maybe if I continued to look straight ahead and not at Zen, I could make it home without embarrassing both of us.

"Driver Kim," Zen said. "Can you possibly drive any faster?"

\--- 

As soon as we got inside the apartment, Zen pushed me up against the closed door. Without a word, he entangled his fingers in mine and pinned my arms to the door on either side of my head. With a beast-like urgency, he pressed his lips to my mine, pushing his tongue through my parted lips. His lips were hungry for me, and mine for him, so we basically inhaled each other, both of us grunting, gasping, only coming up for air between kisses.

"Damn, Princess," Zen whispered in a hot, throaty voice. He had pulled back and was looking at me now with red, wolf hungry eyes. "You in that damn dress…" He let go of my arms to run his hands over the curves of my body, and then reached around for the zipper in the back. "You know," he said with a mischievous grin. "As much as I like seeing you IN this dress, I'm ready to see you OUT of it…"

I felt his warm hands on my bare back and then fumbling with the zipper until the dress loosened. I let him help me wriggle out of the fabric, feeling his hands slide slowly over my bare breasts, my hips, my thighs, until finally, the dress fell to the floor around my ankles. Zen's red eyes popped wide. There I stood, nearly naked, in nothing but a black lace thong and my high heels, pressed up against his front door.

"Damn…" he breathed, sucking in a breath. "Gorgeous." It was like he could barely get the words out. Then he dropped to his knees, eyes fastened on my belly button. I closed my eyes as I felt his wet mouth first on my navel, tongue swirling slowly around the edges, and then his lips suckling on the skin of my bare stomach.

"Oh, god, oh Zen…" I moaned, leaning my head back helplessly against the door as his kisses worked their way down. His hands grasped the sides of my panties, pulling them over my hips.

I gasped when I felt his breath hot on my thigh. "Zen…" I said, feeling weak in the knees. It was getting harder and harder to stand, and I was still wearing those damn high heels... Impulsively, I started to try and kick them off…

Always anticipating my needs, Zen hoisted me up easily with one hand, and used the other to the to slide down the length of each my calves to slip off each shoe, one at a time.

"There, Princess…" he whispered. "That's better… and now for somewhere more comfortable..."

Zen carried me off in the direction of the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, and I watched as he kept his red eyes fastened on me and began to undress. He unbuttoned and removed his jacket, untied and discarded his cravat, and then pulled his shirt up over his head. I sighed looking at him now naked from the waist up. God, I was never going to get sick of this view... the beauty of his chest, his muscles hard and rippled like carved marble, his skin soft and smooth like porcelain. Completely entranced, I let my gaze move downward to the now oh-so-obvious bulge in his pants.

"Go on, then…" I said, tossing my head in the direction of his hardness to convey my intention. I watched eagerly as Zen complied, reaching down to unbuckle his belt and remove his pants until, finally, he was standing gorgeously naked at the foot of the bed.

"Beautiful…" I breathed. Just looking at him made my heart beat faster and now I could hear it pounding in my ears.

"Princess," Zen said, drawling out the words. "I'm all yours." Hearing those words sent a sizzling shiver up my spine. I was remembering back to tonight, exactly how the fans had cried out for him, literally swooned when the words "...and then we make love" came out of his sweet mouth… that delicious mouth and the rest of him at the end of the bed. _All mine._

"Hyun…" I said, beckoning him with a finger.

Zen hadn't taken his wolf eyes off me for a second. Now, moving slowly, he crawled his way over my body, leaving little kisses on the way, until he was positioned above me and we were looking at each other face to face. Never breaking his greedy gaze, he purposely leaned down, allowing his marble chest to just brush the tips of my nipples. I moaned and writhed beneath him as he rocked gently back and forth, making the sensitive tips grow harder with the friction.

"Fuck, I love you and the little noises you make," he said.

With that, he put his mouth on mine, swallowing me with ravenous kisses. I could feel his erection, hard and pressing into my thigh. It was making me squirm with need. I was already hot and dripping for him, our whole night together acting as some kind of extended foreplay, and I didn't know if I had the patience to wait any longer to feel him inside me. In a conscious effort to move things along, I rocked my hips back and forth, spreading my legs and pressing myself into him.

"Babe," I moaned between kisses. "I… I can't…" I lost my train of thought as Zen's mouth dropped from my mouth to my neck, sucking at the space near my collarbone. One of his hands was on my breast tweaking a nipple, and then it was on its way down between my legs. I sucked in a breath as I felt one of his fingers touch my slick folds. My whole body shuddered hot in response.

"Aw, man…" Zen moaned. I can only imagine how wet I was, and I felt his cock twitch with need against my leg. He stopped kissing me for a moment and sighed. "I'm so sorry, Princess," he said, meeting my eyes. "I've been aching for you so badly all night, I don't think I can wait any longer..."

I wanted to explain how I was also aching beneath him, how the fire between my legs was so terribly unbearable, but all I could do was nod and eek out the words "yes, same…" and "please…"

Zen wasted no time in reaching over to open the bedside drawer and retrieve a condom. I watched eagerly as he raised himself up on his knees, tore open the package with his teeth and rolled the rubber down the length of his beautiful dick.

"God, I love you," he said, lowering himself back down on top of me and positioning himself at the dripping entrance between my legs.

I reached up, lovingly touching the back of his neck. "I love you, too, Hyun," I said, and then, on impulse, I dug my fingers into a mass of hair on the back of his head and pulled. I watched as his red eyes rolled back into his head and he moaned, kind of half growled. "Now fuck me," I groaned, and then remembering my manners added, "Please…"

Zen needed no other prompting. He tilted his face forward, so that his beast red eyes could penetrate mine, and then thrust his whole length inside of me, filling me at once. I gasped and he waited as my body took in the whole shape of him.

"God, you... feel...so…good," he said. The words came out as syllables, breathy and hot. I nodded and bit my lip as he began to move, slowly and with intention as my sex closed in around him.

"I love you, Hyun," I whispered, feeling suddenly sentimental. I held his steady red eyes with my own. I was thinking about what it felt like to sing with him, how I felt like our souls were mingling together. As I raised my hips up to meet his and rock with him, the words of the song we sang as a duo came to mind again… _"When we wake up… And then we make love… It makes me feel so nice…"_ Mmmm… I felt that way now, and I realized how much I wanted him like this, deep inside me, making love to me forever. God, I loved him, just loved him… Truly, madly, deeply.

"Ooooh," I cried, losing my breath as Zen thrust himself deeper into my core. He'd hit my most sensitive spot, the one deep inside me that makes me lose myself. Without thinking, I raised my hips up off the bed, my body clenching and shuddering around him in response.

"Oooh Princess..." Zen said with a low, knowing chuckle. "So what do we have here?" He buried himself in me again, directing his hilt to what he hoped was the same spot, and was rewarded with another broken sigh, twisting of hips and spasm of walls.

"That's my girl," he growled, his red eyes narrowing to dirty slits. Now that he knew where to hit me, he hit me there again and again, each time thrusting more deliberately, more slowly, deeper. I responded in different ways, as each new sensation offered a different opportunity to express my gratitude… A whimpering mewl, a pleading of guttural grunts and tones, his true name on my lips mixed with a mashup of curses. All the while I was white knuckling anything I could get my hands on, the sheets, the smooth skin on Zen's back, handfuls of his hair... God, I just didn't know it was possible to come apart in so many ways, and Zen was eager to explore all of them.

"So. Cute." Zen whispered, thrusting yet again, going for gold and getting it. It felt so good I wanted to cry and more little sounds escaped my mouth, emanating from places I didn't even know existed. My whole body was humming, responding to his touch like some kind of interactive toy.

"UUUUh...ohhhh….holy damn!" I breathed as yet another aspect of this deep intrinsic hot spot of myself was uncovered.

Encouraged by my noises, Zen continued to abuse that spot with precision. Over and over again, he pumped me full with his length. Over and over, my body responded, becoming progressively more unglued with each thrust. Keeping a good rhythm, Zen smiled wickedly above me. He was so proud of himself. It was like he'd found his own secret key to my body and was now hell bent on using it against me… and, god, I only hoped he wouldn't ever stop.

"Please, please, please…" I said as I lifted my hips higher, muscles of my inner walls contracting, sucking him in deeper. Like an addict, I kept chasing the feeling, pushing for more colors, more sensations, more of anything that would get me closer to the mind bending climax I was determined to reach.

"Hyun, Hyun, Hyuuuun…" I whimpered, tears leaking out the corner of my eyes as my face contorted into several involuntary expressions of pleasure.

"So. Fucking. Sexy." Zen said. Sweat was breaking out on his forehead as a result of his work and his red eyes were half-lidded with lust. He was completely in control and he knew it. He was taking every advantage, playing my body like an improv play, reading my every move with intuitive acuity and responding with the perfect "yes, and…" for the circumstance. Teeth on nipple timed with burying the hilt of his dick. Circular motion on my clit in response to my erratic breathing. Hot breath whispering sweet dirty nothings into my neck or directly into my ear...

"You're so fucking hot...so hot and so perfect…"

"I just love being inside you...damn..." 

"God, you taste...so...good..." 

The colors in my mind were getting bigger and brighter… I was getting close, so very close and I said so. I had my arms around him, pulling him down, pressing him further into me from the small of his back, all the while at the same time raising my hips to meet him...all with the hope of fitting him more deeply inside me. Sensation was building, increasing in intensity with every thrust of his hips, but I needed something, just a little bit more to get me where I needed to go… I was panting, moaning, whimpering, nothing short of desperate in my need to cum…

When I called out for more, Zen was there to answer. He picked up one of my legs, bending it back to give himself more access and then pounded into me, picking up the pace as he continued to punish that spot that was making me burn so mad with need.

"Come on, Pretty Girl," he urged. "Cum for me, baby…" I could feel his cock start to twitch inside of me and his stomach begin to tighten, so I knew he was close.

All at one once I looked into his beautiful face, so hot, so far gone, just as lost in me as I was in him… Then my name on his lips, a broken plea, before his whole body began to shake…That and one more thrust was all it took to send me over my edge, vibrant colors exploding behind my eyes, every nerve, every coil coming undone… There I was a quivering mess, babbling guttural, primal nonsense as I attempted to ride out my orgasm completely… Was it one or two or more? I couldn't even tell because it just kept going on and on and on, all the sensations running together like an exploding kaleidoscope… "Hyuuunnnnn..." I called from somewhere low in my gut. I was completely and utterly losing my mind... my whole body convulsing, shivering, shaking, simply vibrating from a stream of near constant spasms…

Zen was losing himself, too, he'd been trying desperately to hold on and keep up the pace as long as he could… but his movements were becoming more erratic and ragged, he was grunting and cursing, and once he even bit me on the shoulder to try and maintain control … Then as soon I started to cum, he allowed himself to let go… As soon as my walls started clench and pull around him, he practically howled my name and let loose… He pumped and slammed into me one, two, three more times before finally releasing his load…

"Shiiiit…." Zen groaned as I felt his cock pulsate and then explode inside me.

We held on to each other as wave after wave of what felt like one reverberating orgasm continued to shudder and ripple through our connected bodies with profound intensity. Finally as the endless string of sensations began to subside, Zen collapsed on top of me a quaking, shivery, sweaty mess. I wrapped both my arms and legs around him, holding him to me. I did not want to let him go.

"Wow," Zen said a moment or two later as we pulled our sticky bodies apart. "What the fuck was that?"

I smiled, feeling the lazy afterglow start to sink in. "Mind blowing," I said, blinking my eyes a few times. I think I was still seeing colors. "Insane."

Zen rolled off my body to lie beside me. "Mind blowing," he repeated. "Damn..." He was quiet for a minute, thinking, and then he spoke again. "So is that how it always is… I mean, do you always have mind blowing sex with someone you love?"

I could tell he was holding his breath, bracing himself for the possibility of me saying I'd had anything even half as good with anyone else…God forbid Kwang-jo come up in this conversation… But the truth was, Zen didn't have shit to worry about... I'd never had anything, not even a fraction as good as what just happened in this room… This was new territory for me, and I wasn't sure what to think, other than I couldn't wait to do it again.

"I don't know, Zen," I said smiling and rolling over to put my elbows on his chest so I could stare into his bright red eyes. "I don't know because I've never felt that way with anyone else before, not even close…" I reached up to stroke his pink cheek still slick with sweat. "In fact, I'm pretty sure that tonight, what just happened here with you, with me, was the best sex I've ever had…like, in my life."

Zen's face broke into a huge grin. "Really?" he said. I loved that boyish look on his face… It reminded me of Yoosung… and now of Debbie, too... Innocent, vulnerable, decidingly NOT narcissist… Pure.

"Ya, babe," I said, tousling his silver hair. "Even though I'm channeling Seven right now, I'm being completely serious… I think you're a GOD in bed."

Zen cocked his head to one side, flashing a vainglorious smile. "A god?" he said, eagerly. "So basically I look like a god and I fuck like one, too?"

I bit back a smile. Well, that sure didn't take long ... Zen's ego was obviously back in force. I shrugged my shoulders. "Basically," I said.

Zen fell back against the pillows with a smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face, hands behind his head. Then all the sudden, I heard Jumin's warning voice in my head. "God, MC... Don't encourage him."

I turned my head to admire the gorgeous god-man-angel-being in my bed. OK, so maybe telling Zen he was a "god" in bed probably wasn't the wisest thing to say to a narcissist, but, then again, he's MY narcissist, right? Besides, it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Oh man! Sorry this took so long to get up, but heck, it is a lengthy chapter… Stay tuned for how the world reacts to the RFA party… How do you think Echo Girl's going to take it? I don't know… Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. :-) :-) :-)


	31. I Love How You Love Me

I woke up late on Sunday morning to an empty other side of the bed and the toasty, nutty smell of fresh cooked waffles. Mmmm, I thought, realizing I was kind of starving. In one motion, I rolled out of bed and headed for the kitchen wearing nothing but one of Zen's old concert tee-shirts. When I got to the door of the kitchen, I stopped dead in my tracks. There was Zen, standing next to the waffle iron on the counter, wearing nothing but snug-fitting boxer briefs.

"Hey, babe," he said, peering at me over his left shoulder. "Hungry?"

Yeah, I was hungry, but seeing him standing there looking more delicious than any waffle, any breakfast ever, made me reconsider just what I was hungry for…

"Mmmm…" I said, smiling and running my tongue over my upper lip. I rushed over to stand behind my god boyfriend and wrap my arms around his smooth torso. "Smells delicious…" I let my hands slide up from his bare stomach to touch his nipples, and then started to play with them. Zen reached up quickly and grabbed my hands, forcing them back down.

"Babe, babe, babe…" he said, jumping in response to my touch. "Whoa there, tiger…" He spun around, placing both his hands firmly on my hips. I stepped in close to his body, letting my free hands slide up his chest to reach around his neck.

"Aw, come on," I said, playfully. "It's only been like, a few hours since I last had you inside me, and I'm starving…"

"Exactly," Zen said. "You're starving for food… You haven't eaten anything since the party last night…"

I let my hands slip down again, skimming over the contours of the muscles on his shoulders and his back until I had a handful of his cute ass in each of my hands. Honestly, with a boyfriend this hot, I just couldn't help myself. Zen jumped back.

"Babe!" he laughed, grabbing my hands again and pressing them to his lips. "Listen," he said with a very serious look in his eyes. "You know you shouldn't skip meals…"

"OK, ok…" I said with a pouty look on my face. I took a step backwards and slumped into a nearby kitchen chair.

"What did I tell you about being cute?" Zen said, trying to scold me, but failing miserably. I stuck out my tongue. "I mean it," he laughed. "Stop being so cute… I've got waffles to make…" The words barely made it out of his mouth when the smell of burnt waffle permeated the air.

"Shit!" Zen said, turning to flip open the waffle maker, which was smoking, and pull out the blackened cake. "Shit! Shit!" he cried as he picked the burnt waffle up with his bare hands and threw it in the sink.

"Careful there, babe," I said. "Those things are hot…" I bit my bottom lip. "Kind of like you…"

Zen gave me a look. "Very funny, Princess," he said, returning to the waffle iron and spooning in another spoonful of batter. "You're still eating breakfast… No more sex until you've had at least one good meal, you hear me?"

"Oooh…" I said in my best I'm-so-scared voice. "So bossy!" I sat there, chewing on a fingernail, contemplating my next move. Do I casually lift my legs to rest my feet on the kitchen chair in front of me? Zen's tee-shirt only covered mid-thigh, and elevating my legs in any way would give him a full view…

"Don't even think about it…" Zen said. He had his back to me, purposely giving his full attention to the waffles.

"What?" I said, innocently. Wow, I thought. Sometimes I think this guy somehow knows me better than I know myself… Or maybe his psychic abilities have begun to develop outside of his dreams?

"You know…" Zen said, using a warning tone. "We BOTH know you don't have any underwear on, so don't even try it."

I sighed, kind of amazed and surprised. "OK, fine…" I said, giving it up, for now. "You're right… We shouldn't skip meals…" I got up, dragging my feet all the way across the kitchen to the kettle to make myself a cup of tea. "You want?" I said, picking up the kettle and shaking it in his direction.

"Sure…" he said. "Thanks."

While I waited for the water to boil, I went back to slump down in my chair and scroll through the messenger app. "I wonder what everyone's up to…" I mused and logged in.

_[MC has entered the chatroom]_

_Yoosung: MC! Good morning ^^_

_Yoosung: [happy emoji]_

_Yoosung: You were *so awesome* last night_

_MC: Yeah? You think so?_

_MC: [blushing emoji]_

_Yoosung: Absolutely! I meant it when I said you sing like an angel…_

_Jaehee: Yes… Yoosung is right… You do have an impressive voice, very professional-sounding..._

_Jaehee: Did you receive training?_

_MC: No… but I did sing in a band in high school…_

_Jaehee: Wow… well, you're really good…_

_Jaehee: I think people were surprised… and impressed._

_MC: Gosh, that's really nice of you to say... thanks, Jaehee ^^_

_[707 has entered the chatroom]_

_707: MC! You're here!_

_707: [sparkly emoji]_

_MC: Yes, hello, Saeyoung… how are you this morning?_

_707: Thrilled and chill… like a rollercoaster lololololol_

_Yoosung: [confused emoji]_

_Yoosung: 707 you realize you don't make sense half the time, right?_

_707: I don't know what you mean, "Yoosey" lololololol_

_707: [sparkly emoji]_

_MC: OMG … lolololol_

_MC: *Yoosey*_

_MC: I think you should change his login, Seven ... lolololol_

_707: YES!_

_Jaehee: [sighing emoji]_

_Yoosey: Oh, come on … don't make fun._

_Yoosey: [depressed emoji]_

_707: Ha!_

_MC: Lolololol_

_Yoosey: Not funny..._

Back in the apartment, I was coming apart, busting a seam laughing. Zen turned around and cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"What's so funny?" Zen asked.  
  
"Oh my god," I said, clutching my side. "Seven changed Yoosung's login to 'Yoosey'..."  
  
"'Yoosey?'" Zen said, looking confused. "What's a 'Yoosey'?"  
  
That's what Debbie calls Yoosung," I said, trying to catch my breath. At this rate, I was going to give myself the hiccups.  
  
Zen's eyes popped wide. "Seriously?"  
  
"Seriously…" I said.

_[Jumin has entered the chatroom]_

__

_707: Yes it is… it's super funny…_

_Yoosey: No it's not..._

_707: MC seems to think so ^^_

_Jumin: Good you're all here…_

_MC: Hiya, Jumin ^^_

_Jaehee: Hello Mr. Han… Did you get those papers I sent over last night?_

_Jumin: Assistant Kang, it is a Sunday…_

_Jaehee: ...and?_

_Jumin: You should think about taking a day off once in a while…_

_Jaehee: Mr. Han?_

_MC: ?_

_707: Jumin, earth to Jumin…_

_Jumin: Mi-Sun says a "day of rest is best"… I happen to agree._

_Jumin: In fact, we were wondering what you all were doing this afternoon…_

_707: Seriously, I think we should consider the fact that Jumin could be hacked..._

_MC: or abducted by aliens..._

_Jaehee: Mr. Han, I am quite occupied with preparing for the possible scandal we may face in the media in response to Zen's actions at the party last night…_

_707: No need to worry your pretty little head there, Jaehee ^^_

_Jaehee: Oh?_

_707: Hasn't anyone been on the MeTube?_

_707: MC and Zen's romantic duet is trending ^^_

_MC: ! ?_

_707: Me and Saeran also pulled an all-nighter flagging and removing media related to Zen's epic choke hold…_

_MC: Really? Oh Seven… You're the BEST!_

_707: [happy emoji]_

_707: Happy to be of service, miss…_

"What is it, babe?" Zen asked in response to my squeal.  
  
"Seven says we're trending on MeTube," I said.  
  
"Really?" he said. "Wild… and I bet that has nothing to do with his hacking skills whatsoever..."  
  
"Right?" I said, laughing. "Also, he and Saeran have been busy taking down videos of you and Kwang-jo…"  
  
Zen was quiet in response that comment, and so I jumped up to wrap my arms around him and kiss him on the back of his shoulder.  
  
"Oh babe," I said. "Don't sweat it… it's behind us now."  
  
Zen shook his head. “I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have acted that way, and I most certainly shouldn’t need all my friends to fix it for me,” he said. “I should be the one held accountable for my actions…”  
  
"They WANT to help you," I said, squeezing him and pressing my cheek to his warm back. "You would do the same for Saeyoung if he were in trouble, yes?"  
  
Zen thought about it for a minute. "Well, yeah," he said. "If Seven, or Saeran, or anyone in the RFA…" he paused and sighed. "Man, ok, even Jumin… If any one of them we're in trouble, I'd help…"  
  
"So let them help you," I said.

_[Mi-Sun has entered the chatroom]_

__

_Mi-Sun: Darling, have you invited everyone to our Lawn Party yet?_

_Yoosey: Lawn Party?_

_Jaehee: Yes, it's an outdoor picnic party, usually held on the grounds of a prominent estate…_

_Mi-Sun: Yes, and we thought it would be wonderful if you all could come over and spend the afternoon with us…_

_MC: At the Penthouse?_

_Mi-Sun: No, at the Chairman's country house on Cheongsando Island…_

_707: Oooh fancy pants..._

_Jumin: It was not my idea… Mi-Sun requested it, and whom am I to refuse my lady's desire?_

_MC: that's really romantic, Jumin ^^_

_Jumin: Is it?_

_MC: Yes, I think so…_

_Mi-Sun: We're hoping you can all make the trip out...It's just a short drive and ferry ride…_

_Mi-Sun: Jumin is happy to send a car…_

_Jumin: Of course…_

_Mi-Sun: We'll have lunch and cocktails and games, of course…_

_MC: Sounds fun..._

"Babe?" I said, looking up from the app. "Mi-Sun and Jumin are having a Lawn Party at the Chairman's country house on Cheongsando Island this afternoon… Wanna go?"

"Lawn Party?" Zen said, scrunching up his face. "What the fuck is that?"

"I don't know exactly," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Mi-Sun says it's some kind of outdoor picnic with games and stuff…"

"Hmmm..." Zen mused. "Sounds kind of douchey…"

"Oh come on," I said, batting my eyelashes at him. "It will be fun...besides, we should really be supporting Mi-Sun and Jumin…He seems really happy."

Zen sighed. "Ever think maybe Saeyoung and Sarean did too good a job setting Jumin up? I mean, Mi-Sun is just as Trust Fund as he is…"

I shot Zen a critical look. "Aw, come on, honey," I said. "Isn't that the point?"

"I guess...but I can still be annoyed, right?" he said.

I sighed. "But can we go?" I said, giving him my best pleading puppy dog look. "I think it could be really fun."

"Aw man…" Zen groaned. He plopped a plate of waffles down in front of me and then kissed me on the forehead. "Who am I to resist that face?"

My eyes lit up and I jumped up to throw my arms around his neck. "Oh babe!" I squealed. "Thank you!"

"On one condition…" Zen said, looking serious again. "You have to eat a healthy breakfast…"

Obediently, I sat down to dig into my waffles. They were delicious, of course.

"That's my girl…" Zen said, smiling, and he sat down across from me to dig into his own stack.

\--- 

After finishing breakfast and doing the dishes, we spent the rest of the morning being lazy. Then, around 11am, Zen convinced me to go on a run with him.

"I went to yoga with you," he reminded me.

I groaned. I was definitely NOT a runner. I made a point of it to never get up past the speed of walking, not even if someone was chasing me.

"Running is good for you," Zen said. "It's good cardio. Plus, it will be fun to have you with me."

"OK," I said, finally relenting. I mean, who could resist those gorgeous crimson eyes? "I'll go, I'll go…"

"Don't worry," he said. "We'll jog in the park… it's all flat."

When we got to the park, Zen led me to a patch of green grass under a shady tree.

"It's always important to stretch a little first," he said.

Zen led me through a series of stretches, patiently guiding and readjusting my form. He was incredibly knowledgeable, and it became readily apparent just why and how he was in such good shape.

"That's it," he said, adjusting me in a forward bend from behind. He was standing so close I could feel him, a slight bulge, against my butt cheek. I caught my breath and felt my cheeks flush.

"Zen?" I said, standing up. "You know, if we're going to do this whole exercise thing, you're going to have watch where and how you touch me…"

Zen chuckled and pulled me close. "What, you mean I can't touch you like this?" He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I had half a mind to push him away, but quickly decided against it and instead let myself relax into the kiss. OK, if working out with Zen was like this, than I was definitely going to get in good shape soon.

"Ok, Princess," Zen said, finally pulling away. "Time to hit the trail…"

Zen broke into a jog, and I did the same, following him down a path that wound through the trees. After about a minute, though, my legs started to feel a bit heavy and I was running out of breath.

"You ok, Princess?" Zen said, when I started to gasp. He stopped and put a concerned hand on my shoulder. "When's the last time you went running?"

"Uh," I said, catching my breath. "Try never."

"Like not even in school?" he said.

"Let's just say I was 'on my period' a lot," I replied with a sheepish grin.

"Ok, then…" Zen said, smiling. "Well then maybe we should start you out with something a little easier... a run/walk program perhaps?"

"Run/walk program?" I said.

"Yeah, so it's pretty simple… We just run for two minutes, and then walk for 1 minute, then run for 2 minutes, walk for 1 minute, and so on..." he said. "It's a good way to build your endurance."

"OK," I said. "I'll give it a go."

We started off at a run, with Zen timing the two minutes. Literally it felt like the longest two minutes of my life. Almost as soon as we started moving, I was already gasping for air, my legs were burning and I was definitely starting to sweat. Yeah, I was pretty much dying, but at least I got to watch Zen. There he was, running along side me with an easy bounce, his ponytail swinging side to side, making it all look effortless. God, he was beautiful, and he wasn't even breaking a sweat.

"OK," Zen said, slowing to walk. "Walk for one minute."

I was grateful to stop running, but I also felt a twinge of regret. "Zen, I'm so sorry," I said. "I really don't want to be holding you back…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Zen said, reaching over to touch one of the two low ponytails I had fastened near the base of my neck. "God, your hair is so cute this way…" He let the ponytail of hair slip slowly through his finger and thumb as if savoring its softness and sighed. "MC, I just Iove being with you, under any circumstances, so don't worry your pretty little head about running slow… Besides," he paused to flash me a big smile and then slap me hard on the ass. I jumped. "You'll get better with practice soon."

"Will I?" I said. I tried to imagine myself running with the same easy bounce as Zen. It was an ambitious image.

"Of course you will," Zen said. Then he glanced at his watch. "OK, time to run again…"

"Ugh," I said, as Zen broke into an easy trot. Reluctantly, I followed suit.

It went on like this for a while, run two minutes, walk one minute. Run two minutes, walk one minute, repeat. Zen was right, it was getting easier. The two minutes of running was definitely starting to feel less like an eternity and more like something I could handle.

"You're doing great, MC, just great..." Zen said, and my cheeks warmed with pride.

I was starting to feel pretty good about myself, too, but then, just ahead of us on the trail, I saw two joggers approaching. Two girls, tall, slim and built like runners. They were running at a decent speed, too, their blonde ponytails swinging in the breeze. Unlike me, they weren't struggling or gasping for air at all. In fact, they were talking and laughing easily as if they were walking or maybe even just standing still. Fucking show-offs, I thought. I fell behind Zen so they could pass on the narrow trail, but when they got close, they stopped.

"Oh my god," one of them, the taller one said, or more like squealed. "It's Zen!" She elbowed her friend and pointed.

"You're Zen!" the shorter girl said, pointing to Zen with an incredulous look on her face. Both girls were beautiful and got even more beautiful as they got more caught up in Zen's reflection.

"Yup," Zen said, smiling. "In the flesh… Good morning, ladies…"

Then the taller girl saw me as I stepped out from behind Zen to stand next to him on the trail. "Oh my God," she said. "And it's MC! You're MC!"

"Yeah," I said, forcing an awkward smile. "Hi."

"You were GREAT!" the taller girl said. "I saw you on MeTube… Oh my god, your VOICE."

I felt my cheeks burn bright. "Wow," I said. "Thanks."

The taller girl turned to Zen. "You're so lucky to have such a talented girlfriend," she said, her blue eyes flashing from him to me, and then back to him. I felt this rush of pride in my heart, a sort of validation of myself as a human being. Wow, is that what it feels like to have a fan?

"Don't I know it, damn," Zen said, smiling. He put his arm around me and beamed.

"Aww…" the shorter friend said. "You two are sooo cute together… Zen, you are the BEST boyfriend!"

"Yeah," the taller girl said. "Do you have any friends you could introduce us too?" Both girls giggled. "I mean, since you're taken and all… Uh, and can we get your picture?"

Zen glanced at me, his eyes asking me do-you-mind? I shrugged.

"Sure," Zen said.

Both girls pulled out their camera phones and snapped a couple of photos of us. Me and Zen with our arms around each other, and then me and Zen kissing.

"Wow," the taller girl said. "You two are too sweet…like the cutest couple in South Korea ever…"

"Yeah," the shorter girl said, turning to Zen. "I can't believe I ever thought you should be with Echo Girl…"

"Yeah," the taller girl chimed in. "God, who knew how manipulative and passive aggressive she was?"

The girls insisted on a few more pictures. I even took a couple of pictures of the girls with just Zen. Apparently, the taller girl had been a fan of Zen's since back in the early days.

"I just LOVED you in _The Jalapeno Topping Was Pretty Spicy_ … the scene where you have to say good-bye to your best friend…" she said, and I could see she was starting to mist up. "God, I just cry every time… I mean, just look at me now!"

"Thank you so much," Zen said. "You don't know how much that means to me…"

My heart went out to this girl, just swelling with gratitude. Zen was always so worried about his fans liking him for only his looks, but clearly this girl appreciated his acting.

Finally we shook hands with both girls and they bounced off to continue their run.

"Wow, that was weird," I said.

"Yeah," Zen said, smiling. "Weird and really good… Sounds like Seven's viral hacking plan is really working."

"Wow, yeah," I said, and then I frowned. "You know, I think I kind of feel a little sorry for Echo Girl…"

Zen turned to me, surprised. "Really?" he said. "I sure don't. Not even a little bit."

I thought for a minute, chewing my lip. "What do you think this means for the show?" I wondered. "Like, how is this going to affect the popularity of _More Than Friends_?"

Zen shrugged and sighed. "You know, I don't know," he said. "And you know what else? I don't care." He turned to wrap his arms around me and pull me close. "I mean, does it matter? We have each other. We'll make it work. I can go back to modeling, until another acting gig pops up…"

I looked up, searching his blood red eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Never more sure in my life," he said. "For the first time in my life I feel like I can do anything, anything because of you…"

I reached up and pulled his face to mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: So this was a big FLUFF chapter and I think we deserved it after all the drama… Stay tuned for the LAWN PARTY … and what does Echo Girl have in response to RFA Party events? Hmmm…. Thanks always for reading, commenting and reviewing. I LOVE hearing from you guys.


	32. Lawn Party

"Babe?" I heard Zen call from the bathroom. "What do you even WEAR to a lawn party?"

I smiled, turning in the direction of the sound of his voice to see his wet head poking through the doorway. A waft of steam and citrus smelling shampoo and body wash wafted around him like a halo.

"I have no idea," I said, reaching for my phone. "Let's Foogle it…" I typed in the words "What to wear to lawn party men" and the search engine spat out several images of men in slacks and button-down shirts with light-weight suit coats and/or sweaters.

"Hmm…" I said, still scrolling. "Looks pretty business casual, with tie optional."

"So the douchey look, then" Zen said, scowling a bit. "Maybe I should ask Trust Fund if I can borrow one of his pin-striped suits…"

"I think that might be TOO dressy…" I said.

"Well, I'm NOT wearing a tie," Zen said. "Not in this heat."

Zen disappeared back into the bathroom, and I heard the sound of the electric toothbrush go on. I did a quick search for "What to wear to lawn party women" and smiled. "Oooh," I said. "Looks like I get to wear a cute little dress…"

Zen's face reappeared in the doorway. "What do you mean 'little'?" he said. "How little?" He emerged from the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. "Can I pick it out?" His chest was mostly smooth, except for the small patch of light silver hair below his belly button. Every time I locked eyes with that narrow vertical trail, I got ideas. I was getting them now.

"Babe?" Zen said, breaking me from my thoughts. "I'm serious… Can I pick out your dress today?" His red eyes looked hopeful and boyish under the damp mass of silver bangs hanging in his face. I sighed. I wouldn't mind Zen picking out my outfit so much if I could be sure he wouldn't choose something that covered me from head to toe, made me look an old maid, or some combination of both.

Zen strode over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Please?" he said, his eyes pleading, lower lip pouting. How could I say "no" to that face? Sigh.

"OK, ok," I said. "But I get veto rights… Remember, it's HOT today, so no turtlenecks or anything…"

Zen gave me a look like what-would-I-ever-do-such-a-thing and I shot him a look back that said oh-hell-yes-you-would. Then it was my turn for the shower, so I left him to it, hoping to god he'd pick something cute.

"Don't worry…" he said, as he headed toward the closet and I shut the door to the bathroom. "I've got great taste…"

"Yeah," I called over my shoulder as I turned on the water. "You've got killer taste, sure… It's the fact that you're a possessive narcissist, that's what I'm worried about…"

\--- 

When I emerged from the bathroom, the bedroom was empty and there was an outfit laid out on the bed, complete with sandals and matching jewelry. Zen had done well. The dress was silver blue lace trim with a dropped waist. I could see it was a compromise on his part, though because although the dress was not short - the hemline hit well below the knee - it did have a low-cut sweetheart neckline and tie spaghetti straps.

"That way I can kiss your bare shoulders whenever I want," Zen said. I turned around to see him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed. "AND see your tattoo."

"I like it," I said, looking him up and down. He was wearing a black tee-shirt with a simple cream-colored blazer, matching pants and sneakers. "You look good, too... Understated, but smart."

He turned to look at himself in the mirror. "Yeah," he said, flashing himself a smile. "I do look pretty handsome, don't I? I mean, if I do say so myself..."

You always say so yourself, I thought, smiling to myself. I walked over to what had become basically my dresser and reached for the lotion. Letting the towel drop to the floor, I bent over and began smoothing the creamy liquid over my freshly shaven legs. When I looked up, Zen was staring at me with his mouth half open, his eyes heavy-lidded and crimson red.

"Damn, Princess," he said, breaking into a steamy grin. "You've got like, the best ass… You know that, right?"

Not a moment later, he was on me, mouth on my lips, body pressing me up against the dresser. Startled and aroused, the bottle of lotion fell out of my hand and spilled onto the floor. His hands were gripping both cheeks of the ass he was just complimenting, and then he was lifting me up off the floor. I could already feel his hardness beneath the material of his pants pressing up against my nakedness.

Zen stopped kissing me for a moment to search my eyes. "What you do to me, MC," he whispered, his voice hot and heavy. "You just don't know…" I watched as a dark, slightly sinister shadow crossed his face, a look I'd come to recognize as what he called "the beast" and felt a familiar twinge of anticipatory desire flush deep between my legs. Without warning, Zen hoisted me up easily over one shoulder and carried me to the bed, both hands still gripping and slapping my ass.

"I fucking LOVE your ass," he said as he detoured by the mirror. "See?" he said, spinning me around so I could see what he saw, my ass reflected in the glass. I felt my cheeks grow flush with something that felt very much like embarrassment, although I was deeply turned on.

"So HOT," Zen said, and with that, he spun me around again and threw me down on the bed. Without pause his hands were on my knees, pressing them open and down against the bed so that I was completely exposed to him.

"Zen, I…" I barely got the words out before I felt his wet mouth already on me, licking the bare folds of my most private area salaciously top to bottom.

"Mmmm…" he breathed, his lips vibrating against my clit in a way that made me squirm, clutching handfuls of sheets.

"That's my girl," he said, lifting his head so that he could watch the look on my face as he slipped one, and then two fingers inside me. I gasped, throwing my head back against the pillows and began bucking in response to his rhythm.

"My sweet, sweet girl…" Zen said, darkly, lowering his head again. I felt his teeth, first playfully nipping my clit and then his whole mouth sucking mericilessly, driving me to ripen... All the while he was still finger fucking me at a mind blowing pace - yes, he'd found that spot again, oh damn - with his free hand.

"Oooohhh… Aaaa…" I was already gasping and sweaty, pretty much an unhinged horny mess, unable to speak, unable to think. All I could I do was hold on and bump my way toward release, which by all accounts was coming soon. My body was sizzling, each nerve ending a hot circuit of sensation. My vision was at first blurring at the edges, then it was soon swirling out of control… a smear of colors and lights, a fucking fairy house of bliss. Then the pit of my stomach, my inner most belly, the core of my sex was smouldering, white hot, ready to burst...and then it did. All the sudden I was blindly crying, no screaming out what I thought was Zen's name, but probably sounded more like a mess of unintelligible syllables. All the while Zen kept on me, kept riding me, kept sneaking satisfied glances up at my face, kept pumping me with his fingers, sucking me dry as I came and came and came.

When it was finally over, when my body stopped shivering and quaking, I spilled over into Zen's waiting arms, curling myself into his form, burying my face into his chest, exhausted. He was still fully clothed, still had his fucking sneakers on. My eyes felt heavy and wanted to close, so I let them, and Zen began to stroke my hair.

"That's my girl," he whispered, softly into the top of my head, like I'd just won some kind of award that pleased him very much. "That's my good girl."

\--- 

I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up, Zen was still holding me and he was asleep, too. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It read 1:10pm.

"Shit!" I said, sitting up fast and swinging my legs over the side of the bed in one motion. Driver Kim was scheduled to pick us up at 1:30pm. "Zen!" I shouted, turning to shake him on the shoulder. "Get up! Get ready!"

"Damn," Zen said. "Did we fall asleep?"

"Yeah," I said, looking at him crossly.

"Hey…" he said, holding up both hands, as if pleading the innocent party. "Don't look at me… You're the one with the sexy ass…"

I reached down to pick up a pillow and throw it at him. "I'm not saying it wasn't fun," I said with a warning tone. "But if you touch me again before we walk out that door, I'm going to scream bloody murder."

Zen worked to suppress his laughter behind a smirk. "So I can jump your bones in the car again then, eh?" he said. "I'm telling you, Driver Kim wouldn't mind a show… I'm handsome, you're naughty… It doesn't get better than that for a man his age, know what I mean?"

I picked up the towel I'd been wearing, the one that had fallen on the floor and started this whole mess in the first place, and threw that at him, too.

"That's ENOUGH," I said, biting back a smile. "Now, get out of here and let me get dressed."

Reluctantly, Zen backed out of the bedroom. "Ok, ok, boss lady," he said. "Whatever you say, fine."

\--- 

A half an hour later we were in the car and on our way to the ferry, and then on to the Chairman's country house on Cheongsando Island. When Driver Kim turned the car onto a winding drive lined with cherry trees, all in full-bloom, Zen let out a low whistle.

"Damn," Zen said with what sounded like true awe. "Would you look at this place?"

It was beautiful. The crushed granite driveway just kept going up and up. It wound all the way to the top of the hill and then finally gave way to a massive contemporary-style mansion surrounded by carefully landscaped lawns and sweeping hillside views.

"It's amazing," I said, feeling a little more breathless and astonished than I'd expected. "I don't think I've ever been invited to a house this nice…"

"Right?" Zen said.

At that moment, Mi-Sun came gliding out to meet us. She was wearing a modified contemporary version of the Korean Hanbok-style dress with short sleeves and cut just below the knee. Her dark hair was done up in a simple, but elegant sleek chignon.

"Oh hello, darlings," she said, as she swept the car door open with an almost imperceptible element of grace. "We've been waiting on you…Please do come join us on the veranda for a cocktail…"

Zen got out of the car first and then turned to offer me a hand. "Princess?" he said, smiling and looking dashing as ever. I noticed that he had changed his pants from the matching creme to a subtle gray. I wondered why…

We followed Mi-Sun up a winding stone walkway, through a stunning front entrance and into an open middle courtyard, where all the other guests were already seated sipping lavender-colored cocktails from high-stemmed glasses.

"It's called a French 71," Mi-Sun said, when she saw me looking. "This variation has a special liquor that makes it violet."

I nodded, plopping my purse down in an open seat next to Lexi Ann. She was wearing an adorable crepe cream-colored shift and a matching gossamer shawl.

"You look gorgeous," I said, leaning in to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you," Lexi Ann said. "You too, as always, a vision…"

"Finally… you're here, MC!" Yoosung said. Stepping forward, he clasped me about the shoulders and kissed me on both cheeks. I noticed he was wearing Queer Eye For A Guy Flad's version of "going out" hair, the one that I thought used too much gel. He was also wearing the same gold button-down shirt from the RFA party, except this time paired with shorts and loafers. I realized with some dissatisfaction I didn't much like being able to see Yoosung's knees.

"Hi Yoosung!" I said, enthusiastically. He reached behind him to pull Debbie forward.

"You remember Debbie," he said, beaming. I had to smile to myself. Every time Yoosung said her name you could see the moniker "my girlfriend" sparkling in his eyes. It was so cute.

"Hi Debbie," I said, reaching forward to shake her hand. "Nice to see you again." She was wearing a stunning green emerald dress with some elaborate beading around the bodice and hem. Her blond hair was swept up into a high ponytail, and the most amazing crystal earrings dangled from her ear lobes.

"Hi, MC!" she said. Her voice was so bubbly and high - I kept forgetting that - and it almost made me start. "You were SO GREAT last night. I mean, SO GREAT."

"Thank you," I said, meaning it. I felt, briefly, the same validation I felt when meeting Zen's fans on the trail. It was a rush, and it felt really good. I glanced at Zen and again thought, was this what it felt like to have fans? I could see where it could become overwhelmingly important… and addictive.

Jumin appeared out of nowhere, overly stiff and awkwardly offering his hand to Zen. "Well, so look who finally decided to show up…"

"You got a pretty sweet pad here," Zen said, shaking his friend's hand in earnest.

"Well, it belongs to my father, really," Jumin said. "He tried to give it to me for Christmas one year, but I'm afraid I don't have much use for a vacation home…A house of this magnitude and locale is not something I would choose for myself."

"Still, it is lovely," I said, offering my hand, which Jumin picked up and kissed. I felt Zen stiffen beside me.

"Welcome to my home, MC," Jumin said, bowing low.

"You just said this wasn't your home," Zen said, hotly.

Boys, boys, boys… I thought, feeling so sick of their jealous, rivaling bullshit. Not bothering to hide my irritation, I stood up and turned on my heel to go find Jaehee. She was standing in a corner under a potted palm tree, scrolling through her phone.

"What the heck are you doing?" I said. "You aren't working are you?"

Jaehee looked up at me exasperated, irritated, eyes tinged with a how-could-you look that just cut to my core. It was true. I - we - got to do whatever we wanted - and she, Jaehee, had to clean up our messes because that is what she does, and we rely on her. God, I thought, we should find her a someone… A Mi-Sun… a Debbie… or really a ZEN… and why had we not?

"Of course I'm working!" Jaehee said. "Unlike everyone here, I am aware of the multiple possibilities of repercussions that could happen as a result of last night's events...and I plan to be prepared for every one of them."

I reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. She looked absolutely beautiful, and terrifying, in the classic midnight blue Jackie Kennedy-style shift.

"What can I do to help?" I said.

Jaehee sighed and shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "Just maybe keep your boyfriend and yourself out of trouble for, I don't know, maybe at least a day or two?"

"OK," I said, taking that as my hint for a hasty exit. I backed away slowly to go in search of another drink. "I can do that…"

\--- 

Zen came and found me later standing by the pool. I was on my second French 71 and feeling pretty punchy.

"There you are!" Zen said, throwing his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him from behind. "Where have you been, Princess? You left me hanging there with Trust Fund, and well you know how that goes…"

I sighed. "Well, why are you two so down each other's throats, like all of the time?" I said. "I mean, now that Mi-Sun is in the picture, shouldn't that be like, finished?"

Zen looked hurt. "Well, yeah, but…"

"Well, yeah, but what?" I said.

Zen sighed. "Well, did you see how he was basically just looking down the front of your dress when he bent down to kiss your hand?"

"Uh," I said, putting a mocking thoughtful finger to my chin. "Let me think about it… uh, that's a NO!"

"Well, he was!" Zen said, his red eyes wide. "Whether you want to admit it or not… That psycho idiot dude… Jumin... continues to want you… well, like I want you...and, well, fuck that!"

I spun around to face him, my eyes angry and wild. I was so sick of this, just wanted it to be over. "I don't know…" I sputtered. "I just… I can't…"

Just as I was trying to formulate a thought to articulate how fucked up and wrong the whole idea about Jumin still holding a candle for me was, and how it was about high time Zen got his jealousy under control… I saw Jumin approaching me with a sheepish, shit eating grin on his face and, my mouth fell open, some kind of package?

"What the fuck now?" Zen said, scowling next to me. "See what I mean? Like, so NOT over you…"

It was like a bad movie. There was Jumin walking toward me with that silly crushed out smile on his face… Both his arms were outstretched and he was holding a rather large package sporting a bright pink ribbon… Mi-Sun was following about two steps behind him, hurrying along, trying to keep up.

"MC," Jumin said, sounding a little too perky for a guy with a girlfriend. "Mi-Sun and I have a gift for you…"

"But it's not even my birthday or anything," I said, as Jumin pulled me down to sit next to him, between himself and Mi-Sun. I caught eyes with Zen for a moment. They were glowing red hot and saying see-I-told-you-so...

"Yes, but…" Jumin chuckled heartily and then gestured to Mi-Sun to explain.

"Yes, but," Mi-Sun said behind a tight smile. "After your performance last night and what we learned about your talents, well, we just couldn't let this need go unanswered…"

"This need?" Zen interjected, looking confused and annoyed.

"Just open it," Jumin said, shoving the package in my direction.

"Uh, ok…" I said, taking the pro-offered package and locking eyes with Saeyoung, looking for some kind of neutral ground input. He shrugged.

All eyes were on me as I ripped open the package. It was pretty apparent right away what it was: an acoustic guitar.

"You told Yoosung that you had to sell yours in order to return to America…" Jumin started.

I looked at Yoosung, who looked terrified. "I didn't…" he started, his violet eyes darted from mine to Zen's and then back to Zen's. "I didn't know…"

"It's lovely," I said, pulling the instrument out of its case. It was a Taylor, well-made and expensive - all the things Zen would obviously resent, hate. I didn't know what to do other than accept it at this point, and so that's what I did, graciously.

"Uh," I started. "Mi-Sun, Jumin… Wow… This is very generous."

"If you're going to develop that talent of yours, you're going to need it," Jumin said. "In fact, I'm willing to help in any way I can…I have a lot of connections in the music industry... We could make you a star..."

"Oh, umm… well…." I stammered and smiled, and then stole a look at Zen, who was sitting too far away for me to give him the tell-tale sign of a squeeze to the knee. Instead, I bit my lower lip, which I hoped would deliver the same message: hold-on-for-now-please-babe-don't-make-a-scene.

Jumin seemed overjoyed, pleased beyond any possible bad outcome. "MC," he said, beaming, a little too much, in my opinion. "Please demonstrate your talents for us now, if you would…"

"He means sing us a song," Saeyoung quipped.

"Yeah!" Yoosung said, clapping his hands together. "Go on then, MC... Sing us a song!"

"Ah well," I said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I looked at Zen and we locked eyes. What-do-I-do? Mine said to his. I-don't-know… his said back, and he shrugged his shoulders. Trust me? Mine said. Then those most gorgeous iridescent red eyes imperceptibly nodded.

"Well," I said, lifting my face and smiling fully to my crowd of friends. "There is this American singer-songwriter I fell in love with in California…"

The opening bars of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" are like second nature… A minor, C major, G major. It's a song of jealousy, of hurt, of heartbreak. The main character in the song pleads to her antagonist in the song… Please, please don't take my man, she says, please, please, don't take him, even though you can.

I delivered Dolly Parton a silent prayer in that moment, and also asked for strength. I looked at Jumin, his hand placed firmly on the small of Mi-Sun's back, his gray eyes lidded on my face. I looked at Zen, his red eyes fastened on me and pulling at my soul, as always. Please help me, Dolly, to deliver this thing right.

In the song I'm pleading with my antagonist to leave my lover alone. In reality I'm wishing for our antagonist to leave us both alone, because in this particular love triangle, I'm not sure who this person is hurting most. The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm Jolene, and that sucks.

I try to keep my eyes on Zen while I'm singing, but I can't help but feel the strangeness of Jumin's icy stare. I realize it's the same feeling I got that time when Elizabeth the 3rd was missing and he wouldn't let me leave his apartment. When the song is finally over, I put down the guitar and rush enthusiastically into Zen's arms.

"You know I am yours, always," I said, breathlessly. "You KNOW that, right?" I wasn't sure exactly why, but I felt guilty and awful in a lot of ways.

"I know, Princess," he said, eyeing Jumin with a kind of contemplative revenge I wouldn't wish on anyone. "I know."

Sensing the awkwardness Mi-Sun popped up and clapped her hands. "Let's play a game of Tuho!" she said. Her tone was over-enthusiastic, kind of like a hopeful denial.

Tuho is a game I hadn't played much, only heard about. It was a game of leisure, a moderately physical game based on skill and luck. There was a scoring vessel, made up of a singular prominent vase surrounded by four other smaller vases. Five batons are provided for each team to try and hurl into an awaiting vessel. The game is won or loss according to points awarded. Each baton has the potential to score a total of five points for the middle vase, and a total of one point for each surrounding vessel.

"I'm IN!" Yoosung sang. "Me and my girlie… we're a team…"

"You can't be a team," Saeyoung said. "That's not how this game works… It's single players, period."

"Fine," Yoosung said, looping his fingers in his princess's fingers. "We'll just go for a walk…"

"Ooooh…" Saeyoung said, with a mock-warning tone. "You maybe don't want to do that…"

Yoosung spun around. "That's enough, Seven!" he snarled. "Enough of your jokes. What are you going to tell me next? That I'm going to pass out after drinking that French cocktail?"

"Oh, you mean 'French 71 Passing Out Syndrom?" Saeyoung said.

I couldn't help but giggle a little.

"See?" Yoosung said. "Now you're getting MC in on it, too… like always."

Lexi Ann elbowed Saeyoung in the shoulder. "Aw, come on, honey," she said. "Leave poor Yoosung alone."

Saeyoung sighed. "Oh fine," he said. "No fun. Nobody around here is any fun any more…"

Mi-Sun continued to flaunt the batons to left, to right… "Come on, now," she sang, still trying to reign in interest for the game. "Who's in for a little Tuho…?"

"I'll play," Zen said, finally. He stepped forward and removed his blazer in kind of a revelatory fashion that left me breathless. His muscles were just enough to flex prominently, naturally, not so much to make you think "steroids". God, he was so hot.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Jumin watching me watch Zen in a gray-eyed way that unnerved me. When I glanced over at Mi-Sun, I was sure she saw it, too.

"Well, then I'm in, too…" Jumin said, also removing his coat. "Bring it on Model Boy…"

"I prefer the term 'actor'," Zen said. "As I haven't done any modeling in months…"

"And who do you have to thank for that?" Jumin said.

Mi-Sun quickly stepped between the two men, clapping her hands. "Yay!" she said. "You'll see… This is a fun game!"

I looked at Jumin, trying to read his features. What was up with him so suddenly? I thought he was so happy with Mi-Sun, but maybe not? What the fuck was going on?

Jaehee suddenly appeared at my shoulder. "Oh no," she said, whispering to me. "Mr. Han… oh he isn't… oh, and Zen…"

"Yep," I said. "Rivals to the end…"

"I tried to talk Mr. Han out of giving you that guitar," she went on. "I knew exactly how Zen would take it…"

Mi-Sun handed five batons to Zen, and five to Jumin, and then both of them walked down to the course to stand behind the 1.5 meter line.

"Ok," Mi-Sun said. "You know the rules. Toss the batons into the vessels to earn points. Five points for the middle vessel, one point each for the surrounding vessels. The person with the most points at the end of the game wins."

Zen looked Jumin up and down. "So this should be a piece of cake..."

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Jumin said. "I played this game nearly every day of every summer during my childhood… You don't stand a chance."

"Oh my god," I said. "Why do you two always need to be so competitive?"

Lexi Ann came to stand on the other side of me. "Boys will be boys… especially these boys," she said, shaking her head.

Saeyoung stepped forward. "I'll play the winner!" he said with a wild grin. Bless his heart for trying to lighten the mood. "I've never played Tuho, but how hard could it be?"

Ignoring Saeyoung in favor of his single-minded agenda, Zen gestured to Jumin. "OK, then Trust Fund," he said, using his most challenging tone. "Since you're the self-reported expert, why don't you go first?"

"Glad to," Jumin said, rolling up his shirt sleeves. "Darling," he said, turning to Mi-Sun. "Can you get me a glass of wine?"

"Certainly dear," Mi-Sun said. "Would anyone else like a beverage?"

"I'll take a beer," Zen said. "A Kass, that is, if you got any of those peasant drinks..."

I didn't like the tone in Zen's voice. He sounded bitter, angry...and he probably most certainly didn't need a beer on top of that attitude. Jaehee was right. I could tell he didn't like the idea of Jumin gifting me a guitar. He probably thought that was something he should do for me. I walked over to stand next to him, looping my fingers in his.

"Hey," I said, carefully, looking up at him through the curtain of my bangs. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, Princess," Zen said, giving me a sideways glance. "Just going to kick Trust Fund's ass at this douchey game…"

"Aw, come on, Zen," I said. "It's just a guitar…"

With that comment, Zen practically threw the five batons to the ground and pulled me over to stand under a cherry tree a good distance from the others.

"What do you mean 'just a guitar'?" Zen said through clenched teeth. "I should have been the one to get you that."

"Zen, babe," I said. "It doesn't matter who gave it to me…"

"No, but it does," Zen said, angrily. "That arrogant prick knows... He very much realizes that every time you play that guitar I'm going to be reminded, and he wants YOU to be reminded, too... that he, the big fancy rich daddy Warbucks Han Jumin is the one with the actual means to take care of you." Zen squeezed his eyes shut, balling his fists at his sides. "Damn! That jerk makes it his business to make me feel inferior…"

"So don't let him, Zen," I said. "Don't let him."

Zen grabbed both my hands in earnest, searching my eyes. "MC," he said. "I think I know the answer to this, but I've got to know…"

"I already know what you're going to say, Zen, and the answer is no," I said. "No, I don't give a shit about Jumin's money, and beyond friendship, I don't give a shit about Jumin at all… Whatever little hang up or turf war you two got going on over me, well, I'd just as soon see it stop because there's no contest." I sighed, reaching my hands up to touch Zen's cheeks. "Baby, I love YOU, only you… Really, how much more, what can I really do or say to prove it to you once and for all? Tell me, whatever it is, I'll do it..."

Zen sighed. "You're right," he said. "I'm being stupid...I don't have my head on straight."

"Zen, honestly, I think this feud you got going on with Jumin is more about you and him, and less, if anything, to do with me…" I said.

"God," he said, smiling a little, and I could feel his anger waver. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Zen leaned down to kiss me, but was cut short by a voice calling from the Tuho game.

"Hey there, Lover Boy!" Jumin said. He was twirling one of the batons in a taunting manner. "Are you ready to get over here and prove your worth?"

"God!" Zen hissed under his breath. "I can't stand that egotistical maniac…"

"Just let it go, babe," I said, squeezing his hand.

Zen sighed and then called back to the others. "Yeah, yeah," he said. "Hold your damn horses…" But instead of heading to the game area directly, Zen reached down to cup the back of my head.

"Come here, Princess," he said, delivering a defiant sideways glance in Jumin's direction. "That prick can wait…" With his other hand on the small of my back, Zen pulled me up on tiptoe and crushed my lips to his…

There was a lot of hooting and hollering from the peanut gallery, including Jaehee's usual exasperated cry "Get a room! Jesus!" but Zen was undeterred. He took his damn time, kissing me long and deep, digging his fingers into my long hair, and then, finally, he walked slowly over to Jumin and the others.

"OK, let's do this…" Zen said, shooting a cold, sideways look in Jumin's direction.

"May the best man win," Jumin said, sticking out a hand.

"Whatever, Mr. Corporate Heir," Zen said, reluctantly accepting the businessman's grasp. "Let's just play."

We all stood by and watched as Jumin launched his five batons at the Tuho vessel with precision. Out of the five, he landed two in the center vessel and two in the outer two. One baton missed completely.

"Ok, that's 12 points," Mi-Sun said.

Zen nodded. "Respectable," he said.

Jumin smiled. "Oh I'm more than respectable," he said. "Let's see what you can do, Zen." The way Jumin said it made me think, made everyone think that the CEO-in-line didn't think Zen would do much.

With a toss of his silver head, Zen walked up to the line and tossed the first of his five batons. When it landed straight in the center vessel, he pumped his fist into the air. Jumin's mouth dropped open wide in sheer surprise.

"Damn!" Zen said, punching Jumin in the arm. "Did you see that, Trust Fund? No need for a privileged upbringing here…" Zen waggled his eyebrows at the businessman. "That, my friend, is just pure talent."

Jumin huffed. "You mean pure luck," he said, wryly. "Go on, try your 'talent' again…"

Feeling empowered, Zen launched the second baton with confidence… but, this time, the baton landed completely out of the play zone.

"Aw, that's too bad," Jumin said with a smug smile. "I suppose talent isn't one hundred percent reliable…"

Zen threw the last three batons. Two landed in one-point vessels, and the final one just missed the middle vessel by about an inch. When the game was over, Zen just turned to me and shrugged.

"That's OK, babe," I said, rushing over to grasp his arm. "You're still my hero."

"You're sweet," Zen said, kissing me on the top of the head. "But I didn't win."

"Babe, it's Tuho," I said, rolling my eyes up at him like who-cares?

Jumin did not bother at all to disguise his pleasure with the victory. He beamed and snapped his fingers as Mi-Sun announced the final scores.

"That's a total of 7 points for Zen," Mi-Sun said. "And 12 for Jumin."

"What a surprise," Jumin said. It was funny how much Jumin resembled a cat whenever he was feeling smug. He looked like a cat who had swallowed a canary now. "I win."

"Oh really, darling," Mi-Sun said, reaching out to touch Jumin on the arm. "It's not bad for a first time, though, is it?"  
Jumin quickly drew his arm away. "There's no substitute for good breeding, Mi-Sun," he said. "I thought you'd know that and agree."

"Oh, I didn't mean…" Mi-Sun started, but Jumin was already walking away.

"Darling," he said. "Isn't it time for you to get your coat?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Oh, Jumin… What's up with you and your need to control stuff? I'm having so much fun with this story - I am simply in love with Zen and MC - but I think the end is coming to mind, and I can't ignore that… Maybe three or four more chapters? Thanks (always) for reading, commenting, reviewing, feedback, etc. I love hearing from you :-) :-)


	33. To Have and To Hold...

Zen woke up early Monday morning before the alarm. When he opened his eyes, the morning sun was creeping in around the edges of the blinds adding a warm hue to the room. MC was still fast asleep in his arms, curled into his form, her sweet head snuggled into his chest. God, as always, she looked so beautiful, even more so in the glow of the morning light, but the word "beautiful" didn't even capture the cataclysmic mix of feelings her sleeping face was stirring in him right now. Damn. The way she looked made his heart hurt, made his heart soar, made him want to cry, no weep with joy. Basically, all of these things at the same time. Man, this girl made him feel like he could do anything. Since they'd been together, he'd stood up to Jumin, created boundaries with Echo Girl, even reached out to his parents… All of these things he would've shied away from before, but with MC by his side he felt like he could conquer the world.

His heart leapt as she shifted and sighed in her sleep. She rolled closer to him, throwing one leg up and over his hip, which caused the tee-shirt she was wearing to ride up around her waist and expose her bare ass… His breath caught in his throat at the sight. Damn. Now what he really wanted to do was to make love to her until he was senseless... but she was sleeping, and he didn't want to disturb her. Instead, he contented himself by stroking her soft brown hair.

Man, he was so in love with her, he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Honestly, he knew what he _wanted_ to do, he _wanted_ to marry her, and for a while that had even started to feel possible. When he talked to his mom, she'd seemed so receptive, she'd even sent her necklace as a gift... But then his father had gotten involved, and the old man had refused to even let Zen and MC come visit. Now it seemed like Zen and his family were back to square one with no reconciliation in sight. Looking at MC's peaceful sleeping form, and her beautiful, naked ass Zen wondered, how much did he really need their permission or blessing to wed? Could he even count on them at all?

MC sighed again, this time opening and closing her tiny fist against his chest. So cute. Yes, patching up things with his folks could take a really long time, could maybe even never happen. He picked up one of MC's hands and brought it to his lips, feeling tears burning behind his eyes. Man, he didn't know if could wait that long. He didn't know if he could wait much longer at all.

Then the specter of Jumin came to mind. As much as he hated to admit it, that arrogant prick had a point. Zen did not have reliable financial means of taking care of her, and although he could already hear MC's voice in his head, professing how much she didn't care about such things, the traditionalist in Zen, the same side of himself that was holding out for his family's permission and approval, felt differently.

MC sighed again, and this time, her big beautiful brown eyes fluttered open. When she saw him, as always, she smiled.

"Zen," she breathed. "Good morning…"

Zen leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. "Hey, pretty girl…" he said.

"Were you watching me sleep?" she asked, all the sudden becoming conscious of her bare ass and pulling the fabric of her tee-shirt down.

"No, don't," Zen said, reaching out to grab her hand. "I like the view…" MC's cheeks flushed the most adorable shade of pink. "And, yes," he admitted. "I've been watching you sleep, for a bit."

"Oh?" MC said, playfully. "And what were you thinking about?" Her eyebrows waggled a bit provocatively and Zen quietly imagined telling her that he'd been thinking about proposing to her. Instead he asked her about her parents.

"Babe," he started. "I can't believe I'm just asking you this now… I mean, you've listened to me talk about my family, but I realized I don't know anything about yours…"

Zen watched as MC's features sunk in to sadness and she visibly shrank from his body. "Well, I…" she started, her eyes darting away. "There's not much to say…"

Zen could sense her shame and his instinct was to erase it immediately. "Look, babe," he said, gathering her up in his arms and pulling her closer, back to him. "Whatever it is, there's no way it'll change any part of how I feel for you…" he shook his silver-haired head fiercely. "God, I'm a little embarrassed I haven't asked until now… I mean, I guess it's the narcissist in me…"

"Wow," MC said. "You're admitting you're a narcissist?"

Zen smiled. "Well, yeah… like, duh…" he touched her cheek. "Just another thing you've awakened me to, Princess," he said. "I want to be better… I want to be a better man, for you, really."

"So you're asking me about my family?" she said.

"Yeah," Zen said. "Please."

MC paused and then sucked in a deep breath. "Well," she said. "I have a sister."

"A sister?" Zen said, feeling both shocked and a little excited. "Where is she? What is she like?"

"Hang on, babe," she said. "I think it's better if you just listen… Just let me tell it start to finish…"

Zen nodded and snuggled her closer, feeling all the sudden even more attached to her. Maybe he was about to find out that there was yet another reason why they belonged together, like maybe she didn't have a perfect family connection either. His heart swelled. God, this just made him love her even more.

"I've been alone for a long time..." she started. MC went on to explain how her father died when she was really young, in a car accident, that may or may not have been suicide. Her mother had passed a few years later, when MC was about ten, from a gastrointestinal form of cancer. As a result, MC and her older sister, Hae, had come to live with their grandparents, who were now dead.

"Halmeoni and Hal-abeoji both died within one year of each other," MC said, her eyes filling with tears. "Hae had already graduated from college and, well, yeah, I'd gone off to America to finish my degree…" MC sniffed and Zen knew her well enough to know tears were coming in earnest.

"Babe, I…" he said, rubbing the small of her back, his heart breaking for her.

"No," she said. "Let me finish…"

MC wiped her eyes and cleared her throat before she went on. "They thought I was in the clear…" she said. "I'm so glad they died thinking that… I would hate for them to know… about Kwang-jo, about me not ever finishing my degree…" she sobbed. "God, Zen… I'm so pathetic."

"Oh, god no, babe!" Zen cried, pulling her closer. He never wanted to protect her more in his life. "Oh, MC… god, if only you could see yourself how I see you… damn." He shook his head, quite certain that there was not a more perfect person than MC in existence. "If only you could see how much that shit doesn't matter… How proud your grandparents would have been, how your parents would feel, if they could see you now…" he sighed. "What you've done for me, surely, but moreover what you've done for our friends and the RFA organization. Damn… you are…" he searched for words and, as usual, came up with nothing that seemed even remotely to encapsulate the wonder that she was a person, so instead he just fell back on his usual… "God, I love you."

MC smiled. "Well," she said. "Looking at you definitely makes everything feel better…" She slid one hand from his chest to his boxers and gave him a sultry look, which made Zen's cock twitch. But he wasn't done yet.

"What about your sister?" he said.

"Hae?" MC said, frowning. "I'm sure she's doing well… Last time I checked, she was working for a high-powered real estate attorney firm in London, of all places… Yeah, Hae, she's a lawyer…" MC's face scrunched up into a sort of smile. "Yeah, you probably wouldn't like her much… All she cares about is power and money…" She paused a moment as if considering. "Yeah, I guess I don't really like her much, either, except for the fact that, well, she is my sister." Zen nodded. He could definitely relate. His older brother was very different than him, too, very focused, like his parents, on material wealth and status.

"So you guys don't get along?" Zen asked.

"No, not really…" MC said. "I mean, if I were in trouble or something I know I could call her… She would help me, most likely, but I'd never hear the end of it…"

"When was the last time you spoke to her?" Zen asked.

"When Halmeoni and Hal-abeoji died…" MC said, her brown eyes looking up at him, so big, so sad. "No, and she doesn't know about me and Kwang-jo, or the fact that I dropped out of school… I just couldn't face it…I mean, I know she would judge me."

MC scooted out from underneath the covers to sit up and turn to face Zen on the bed. "Why are you asking about my family, babe?" she said, scrutinizing his features as if looking for clues. "Like, all of the sudden?"

Zen felt his own face color slightly as he realized himself why he was asking. Yes, he was genuinely curious about MC's family, but the real reason he was asking was because he was planning on marrying her. There it was. He'd decided. He chuckled to himself. So here he was being a total narcissist after all… Asking about MC's family was, in a way, a means to an end, something he needed to do to get what he wanted, MC as his wife. God, he was hopeless.

Zen shrugged. "I was just thinking about it," he said. "That's all…" he leaned over to kiss her. "Thank you for telling me." He kissed her again, but this time the kiss was longer and deeper. He pushed her back down onto the pillows beneath him, letting his hands wander up underneath her tee-shirt to touch her bare stomach and then her breasts. Touching her always made Zen feel electric, but knowing now that someday soon this woman may be his wife, well that turned him on even more.

"Baby," MC said, between kisses. "It's Monday morning... remember, we've got to go to work…"

"Mmm…" Zen murmured, glancing at the clock. Damn, it was already past time to get up. He sat up and sighed, adjusting the hard on that was staking a tent in his shorts. "I guess this will have to wait until later…"

"Sorry, babe," MC said, dropping her eyes sympathetically to the bulge in his shorts and then she reached out to touch his cheek. "I promise I'll make it worth the wait…"

"Well, yeah, you're sweet," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "In the meantime though, well, duty calls…" Zen reluctantly pulled himself out of bed. Gradually, his thoughts began to shift to the coming day. He was not looking forward to eight hours plus on the set with Echo Girl, especially after this weekend's events. He doubted very much that she was going to be in any sort of mood to cooperate, not after what he said during the press conference at the RFA party… Not after the duet that he sang with MC instead of her… No, it wasn't going to be a good day at all.

Zen scowled and adjusted himself again in his boxer shorts. Damn. Not to mention the fact that he was also going to have to start this hellish day with this raging boner…

\--- 

The rest of the morning had been rushed. MC and Zen barely made it out of the apartment on time. Then there had been more traffic than usual, so by the time Zen dropped MC off at C&R International, she was late by at least a good ten minutes. As MC removed her helmet and gathered her things, Zen looked up to see Jaehee standing at the window looking out. With a displeased look on her face, she lifted her wrist up and pointed to her watch. Zen fought an urge to flip her the bird, opting instead to remove his helmet and catch MC's arm as she started to rush away.

"Wait a sec, Princess," he said. "Come here." Zen pulled her body back to him for a kiss. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched with some pleasure as Jaehee scoffed and walked away from the window.

"Have a good day, Princess," he said, slapping her on the behind as she walked away.

"Zen!" MC said, the tips of her rosy cheeks blushing even more.

"Don't forget to eat a healthy lunch," he said. Even though he knew he was already late, Zen remained motionless at his bike to watch MC's hips sway back and forth as she walked all the way to the door and disappeared inside.

\--- 

Zen arrived on the set fifteen minutes late. When he got there, Jeraldo, his hair and makeup artist, was tapping his little hoof.

"Where have you been, Zenny?" he said, flipping his long hair - it was blue, no mint this week - over one shoulder and looking pissed.

"One day I'm late," Zen said, irritably, throwing himself into the chair. "ONE day!" He glanced over at the next station, where Echo Girl's chair was still empty. "One day I'M late and yet EVERY DAY she's late…" Zen scowled and crossed his arms across his chest. "It's NOT fair."

"Nothing in life is fair," Jeraldo said. "You know this."

"Damn," Zen said, shaking his head. "Don't I ever!"

"Well, what's up with you?" Jeraldo said, laughing. "Did someone not get laid this morning?"

If looks could kill, Jeraldo would've dropped dead on the spot. If only he knew... "Damn!" Zen said, again. "That's enough, Jer, OK?"

"OK, so that's a 'no' then?" Jeraldo said with an effeminate giggle. The he began to dust Zen's face with powder. "Calm down, Zenny," he said, frowning. God, Zen hated it when he called him that. "When you get upset you make your face all red… If you're not careful, I'll have to break out the foundation."

Zen's complexion was so flawless, Jeraldo rarely had to apply more than a little powder to even out his look and get him camera ready. It was a point of pride for Zen, and so he purposefully took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"Have you seen the papers yet this morning?" Jeraldo said, reaching back to grab something from behind him. "They're looking pretty favorable for you…" He handed Zen a copy of _The Sun_. The front cover showed a picture of himself and MC on stage. It was a shot from near the end of the song, when Zen had picked her up and was holding her in his arms. His heart swelled looking at the image. Even in this pixelated measly print his Princess looked heart-wrenchingly gorgeous.

"Isn't she beautiful?" he breathed.

"Yes, Zen," Jeraldo said, starting to work on his hair. "She is a vision."

The headline read "South Korea's New Most Adorable Couple - ZEN and MC - They're The REAL Deal"... Zen smiled to himself and quickly turned to page 14 to read more. It was a two page spread with two more pictures of himself and MC, another one from the duet and one of just him during the press conference. There was also a picture of Echo Girl, arms crossed over her chest, looking sullen in the audience. The inside headline read "ZEN and MC Most Beloved? Echo Girl Gets The Heave-Ho?". Zen skimmed the article.

The article was basically an all encapsulating expose on the _More Than Friends_ Love Triangle. It started from the very beginning with the first Echo Girl/Zen scandal regarding the sexual harassment allegations and moved through the media warfare that went on between MC and Echo Girl. The article covered everything, including the yellow dress, the handkerchief, even the ill wish (which had actually turned out to be from Jumin, but since, surprise, surprise Jaehee had been doing her job, the media didn't know anything about it). It finished with the major events of the weekend… The Mystery Man article published in _Enquire_ magazine, the Mystery Man then showing up as Echo Girl's date, Zen's subsequent press conference, and of course, Zen and MC's magical duet, which took over about six paragraphs. Zen's heart grew warm and full as he read one paragraph in particular:

_"South Korea has never seen a sweeter, more adorable couple than the famous musical actor Zen and his long standing girlfriend, MC. The whole audience, heck, the whole world might as well have not been watching them sing together because the lovestruck couple only had eyes for each other throughout the entire performance. Instead of being off-putting, though, the performance had the opposite effect by pulling us in from the outside. In a rare moment, we didn't just get to see, we got to experience the pure, loving, sensual chemistry between them. Zen and MC didn't just show us what love is, they showed us what love could be… selfless, sensuous, beautiful...a true partnership not to be touched, nor broken, by the petty, selfish whims of a jilted rival."_

To Zen's surprise, there was no mention of the brawl between Zen and Kwang-jo in the main article, but his heart jumped in his throat when he saw the prompt at the end: "See the Back Page for more about ZEN and MC's MYSTERY MAN". With shaky fingers, he flipped the paper around to the back page…

"South Korea's Most Up and Coming Musical Actor ZEN - What a KNOCKOUT!" … There was a picture of Zen, his hands wrapped around Kwang-jo's neck, pressing him up against a pillar. The perspective of the picture was over the other man's shoulder, so Zen's twisted, angry face featured prominently. Zen breathed a quick sigh of relief when he saw that he still appeared handsome. The way he'd been feeling in that moment he was choking Kwang-jo was so ugly, he thought he'd looked just as ugly, too.

"Yeah, you look pretty tough there, cowboy," Jeraldo quipped, looking over his shoulder. "Damn near thought about jumping you myself…"

"Aw man, come on, Jer…" Zen said almost apologetically. "I told you I don't swing that way…"

"Doesn't mean a boy can't try…" Jeraldo said, running a finger lightly down the side of Zen's neck. Zen jumped.

"Jeraldo!" Zen yelped. "Seriously!"

"All I'm saying is keep me in mind if you ever think about playing for the other team…" Jeraldo said, putting the finishing touches on Zen's hair with a mist of spray.

Zen skimmed the back page article, which was basically a play-by-play of the incident between him and Kwang-jo. They had it about right, that both men had clashed over MC, and Zen had finally lunged at the man following "lewd and lecherous comments directed at his girlfriend". The article went on to say that the "Mystery Man" was acting at the behest of, and under the full direction of Echo Girl herself. They even had a quote from Kwanjo himself saying "Yeah, Echo Girl approached me from the start, promising me a string of prominent DJ gigs… All I had to do was go see MC outside her yoga studio on a certain day and time." Zen breathed a sigh of relief. There was no mention of Kwang-jo's prior relationship with MC. She would be happy about that.

Overall the piece characterized Zen favorably… In the media's opinion, he was a knight in shining armor defending his princess against a villainous foe, who had set upon the princess at the demand of a wicked witch. Zen smiled. Although he didn't know if he deserved to get let off the hook so easily for his bad behavior, all said and done, he was good with that narrative.

Zen was just finishing the article when Echo Girl strode in and slumped down in the chair opposite. Zen glanced up.

"What are you looking at?" she said, without looking at him.

Echo Girl's hair and makeup specialist had a job ahead of her today. Kyungju looked awful. Her eyes were sunken, the skin around them puffy and dark. Her blonde hair was a mess - it looked like she hadn't even combed it herself before leaving the house. If Zen didn't know better, he might've felt sorry for her, or at least a little bad, but then he remembered the smug, self-satisfied look she had on her face when she had Kwang-jo on her arm.

"Nothing, Kyungju," he said. "I'm looking at nothing."

\--- 

That day on the set was even worse than Zen imagined it would be, and what he had imagined was pretty awful. They were shooting Season 2, episode 5, which was titled "The Perfect Date". In the scene they were shooting today, Jae-joon was taking Ji-yoo to a pizza restaurant, one part of the "perfect date" he had planned in response to her complaint in episode 4 that her Lovey-hubby never takes her anywhere. At the restaurant, Jae-joon was supposed to profess his love for Ji-yoo and apologize for taking her for granted, and then Ji-yoo was supposed to accept his apology and, as written in the script directions, "completely melt and reach for Jae-joon's hands across the table".

Well, it was nearly lunchtime and they were still working on the same couple of lines. Zen's line was "Love-hunny, I promise you, no I swear to you, that things will be different from now on… I'm going to do everything I can, every day, to show you how much I love you". Echo Girl's line in response was, or was supposed to be per the script, "Oh Lovey-hubby, this is perfect, you're perfect, it's everything I imagined… All I'm asking for is a little quality time with you because I love you so much."

Zen was having a hard time shooting this scene in the first place. The last thing he wanted to do after this weekend's events was apologize and profess his undying love for this wicked girl. After the fifth take, Zen was convinced Kyungju was deliberately fucking with him by sabotaging the scene, just so she could watch him have to profess his love and apologize to her over and over again.

"I'm not exactly sure what the writers mean by these stage directions," Echo Girl said at one point. "I mean, what does it mean to 'completely melt' exactly... Just how do they expect me to portray that?"

This particular problem ate up about an hour of set time, requiring a writer and an acting coach to come out to explain and direct Echo Girl accordingly.

"It's really in the eyes," the acting coach said. "Think of it as a general softening… Have you ever heard the expression 'my heart just completely melted'? What's that thing for you? What makes your heart go to pieces?"

Kyungju just looked at the coach like she was nuts. "If you want 'soft eyes' isn't that a job for makeup?"

Zen sighed. Echo Girl either just totally didn't get it or she was that hell bent on fucking with him. Either way, if he wasn't such a professional, he would've walked out of there and never come back.

At least he got to take five while Echo Girl had her impromptu acting lesson. Zen used the time to find a quiet place in the hallway to try and call his mother. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" she said, sounding a little breathless.

"Umma?" Zen said. "It's me, Hyun."

"Oh, hello!" she said. "Just a minute, Lorna."

Who's Lorna? Zen thought. Then the line was quiet for a moment. Zen thought he could hear his mother shuffling around and then a door shut.

"Oh Hyun," she said, finally. "I'm sorry, but I had to go outside… Your father is here. You know how he gets…"

"Umma," Zen said. "I know. I'm sorry if I'm causing you problems, but I just had to speak to you…"

"Hyun, is something wrong?" she said.

"No, Umma," he said. "I'm OK… Look, I really wanted to thank you for sending the necklace… I gave it to MC and she loved it."

"Oh, Hyun, I'm so glad," Hyun's mother said.

"Umma," Hyun said. "Listen, I just found out something about MC, something important…"

"What is it, Hyun?" his mother asked.

"Umma, she's alone without family, orphaned…" he said, his heart breaking again having to say it out loud. "She has no one. She needs me. She needs us."

His mother was quiet on the other end of the line.

"Umma?" Hyun said. "You still there?" He thought he could hear her breathing. "I want to marry her, Umma…" He felt the tears burning behind his eyes again. "I need you and Appa to help with the Eui hon, the matchmaking. It's important to me that you both meet and approve of my bride…"

"Oh Hyun," his mother said. Zen thought he heard a familiar catch in her voice and he pictured her gray eyes welling up with tears. "You are contemplating the traditional joining of the families? Truly?"

"Umma," Zen said. "I want to do the right thing by you… That's one thing MC has helped me to realize… Family ties are important… I can see that, now so especially… How can I continue to keep my family at arm's length when MC has none but a sister?"

"Oh Hyun," his mother said. "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that…but I don't know… Your father is still so…"

"Umma, I know he's angry," Hyun said. "But it's me, your son… and your future daughter-in-law." He paused. "Look Umma, I want to do the right thing by you, but if Appa is unwilling, I'm going to do it anyway…I need to… MC… I need to do right by her. We need to be a family."

He heard his mother sigh deeply on the other end of the line.

"Umma," Zen said, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Please help me… She loves me for me. I promise you. She doesn't care for looks, if you're worried about that."

"Hyun," his mother said, finally. "I will speak to your father, but I cannot promise it will do any good."

"All I ask is that you try, Umma," Hyun said. "I love you, you know. I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too, my ahdeu," she said.

When he hung up the phone, Zen put his face in his hands and cried. His heart was breaking for himself, for his mother, for MC. He hardly ever thought about it, but the reality was that he was, and had been for so long, so alone in the world. Now, to find out that MC was just as alone as he was, well, he was so grateful they had found each other.

Zen was wiping his eyes dry when the bell rang, recalling all actors back to the set. He picked up his phone, turned on the camera and took a selfie. His eyes were even more red than usual and puffy from crying. He'd have to swing by and visit Jeraldo before he returned to work.

Overall, though, Zen felt better. He was doing his best to do the right thing and include his family, but he also knew if his father didn't come around, he was going to move forward. He was going to marry MC no matter what. If he couldn't patch things up with his own family, well at the very least him and MC would make their own.

Impulsively, he dialed MC's number. He needed to speak to her before he returned to the set. She picked up right away.

"Zen!" she said her voice full of joy. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

Zen smiled to himself. She was so cute, always concerning herself so much about his well being. He'd be a lucky guy to make this girl his wife. His heart swelled with love and gratitude.

"I haven't eaten yet, but I plan to," he said. "What about you, pretty girl? Did you eat a healthy lunch?"

"I'm eating a salad at my desk," MC said. "It's got kale AND spinach in it, so I guess you could call that healthy…"

"Oh that's good then," he said.

"What did you need?" MC said.

"Oh, I just wanted to hear your voice…" Zen said, feeling his voice cracking, the tears coming again.

"Zen," MC said, sounding concerned. "What is it? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine…" Zen said with a sniff.

"Is it Echo Girl?" MC said with an edge in her voice. "Because I'll come over there and beat her ass…"

Hearing MC say that and than imagining her showing up on set to deliver Echo Girl a knuckle sandwich, well that just made Zen laugh.

"Oh god, MC," he chuckled. "I just love you."

MC was quiet for a moment. Zen could tell she was thinking.

"Babe, what is UP with you today?" she said. "You've been acting really strange, really emotional, all day long… Should I be worried?"

"No, no, babe…" Zen said, waving her off. "No, seriously, everything is rosy… I mean, yeah, things are shit with Echo Girl, but that's just business as usual these days… Honestly, babe, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you… that's all."

MC was quiet again for a moment, probably trying to assess whether or not he was telling the truth.

"Well, OK…" She said, finally. "Well, I love you, too, you big nerd."

"See you later?" Zen said.

"See you later…" MC said, but she didn't hang up. Zen could tell because he could still hear her breathing.

"Babe?" Zen said. "You going to hang up?"

"I was hoping you'd hang up first…" MC said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. She was probably biting her bottom lip, and the image made Zen squirm.

"Let's hang up at the same time," he said. "I'll count to three…"

"OK," she said. "You have to promise you'll really hang up, though…"

"I will," Zen said. God, she was so cute. "I promise… OK, one… two… three…"

Zen hit call "END" but he knew it was anything but… He was going to be with this girl for the rest of his life. Images of their life together flashed through his mind. MC wearing white walking down the aisle. MC underneath him as he made love to her on their honeymoon. MC with a big belly, cute and pregnant. MC cradling their little baby, then later teaching their child to walk, to ride a bike… Then much later, MC standing by his side watching their son or daughter graduate from school, getting married… Then MC getting older, him adoring the crow's feet forming around her eyes… His heart swelled, bubbling over with affection and anticipation looking forward to their beautiful life… Damn, he was going to be loving MC with his whole heart forever… and he couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Shout out to the reader who reminded me about Zen's family situation… I think that aspect of the story makes this bit so much richer. Looks like we have about three chapters left to this story… Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. I LOVE hearing from you… :-) :-)


	34. Media Darling

After I hung up the phone with Zen, I was still smiling. God, he was so sweet. Just calling to say I love you, he said… I furrowed my brow… but was that really all? I couldn't shake the feeling that something else was going on. Something was definitely up with Zen. All morning, he was acting weird and emotional. First, there was that thing where he asked me about my family. Then, I kept catching him looking at me strangely… Every time I'd turn around, he'd be staring at me… I don't know… with this curious boyish expression? Then when he caught me looking, he'd turn away. Having him look at me wasn't odd in itself. I mean, I often caught Zen stealing glances at me, but he would usually never look away. Usually he'd just smile back or come over and kiss me, not act like he had his hand in the cookie jar…

I was so lost in thought I didn't hear Jaehee come up to my desk. "MC?" she said. I jumped when she tapped me on the shoulder. "Oh, sorry," she said. "Didn't mean to scare you… Do you have a moment?"

"Sure," I said. "What's up?"

"Well," she said, running a hand through her thick dark hair. "You're not going to believe this, but I got a call from the morning show The Viewpoint… are you familiar?"

"Yeah," I said. "That's the one with the all female panel of hosts… weekday mornings on the Korea Now Network…"

"That's right," Jaehee said. "Well, guess what?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "What?"

"They want you to come on the show…" she said, studying my face for a reaction.

It was like someone let all the air out of my body. "What?!" I said, incredulous, disbelieving, frightened. "They want ME? Like on the show as a guest?"

"Yes," Jaehee said. "It's good news, really… It's evidence that the public is acting favorably to this weekend's events… Will you do it?"

"Uh…" I stammered. Me on television? I'd only seen The Viewpoint once or twice, but my mind immediately made the leap to a plausible scenario… Me sitting on the couch in some kind of flashy outfit… The four lady hosts sitting opposite… A mind numbing back and forth conversation that likely ends with me saying something stupid, something very, very stupid.

"I know what you're thinking," Jaehee said, reading me like a book. "But this will really help Zen… You want to help Zen, right?"

Of course I wanted to help Zen, but unlike Jaehee, I wasn't convinced me appearing on network TV was the way to do that. I mean, the likelihood of me saying the wrong thing was high, very high. Although I felt fairly comfortable talking to people one on one, I was terrified of speaking in front of groups of people. Once during a school presentation about the habits of migratory birds, I stuttered and stammered so badly I had to leave the stage.

Jaehee could obviously sense my skepticism.

"I can see you're having doubts," Jaehee said, as she pulled up a chair and sat down opposite me. "But, MC, we think this is really important."

"We?" I said. "Who's we?"

"Well, me and Mr. Han…" Jaehee said.

"Jumin's in on this?" I said. "What's in it for him?" I almost couldn't believe it, but I was starting to come around to Zen's way of thinking… If Jumin wanted something, there was always a catch… What was the catch?

"Look, MC," Jaehee started. "I know what it must look like, but Mr. Han and Mi-Sun truly have your best interest at heart…"

I sighed. "Do they now?"

Jaehee's face got very serious behind her glasses. "MC, if I may be so bold… Like it or not, being a public figure is part of your future, especially if you plan on spending it with Zen… The sooner you get used to doing these kinds of things the better."

I sighed. OK, she had a point.

Jaehee reached out and put a hand on my knee and smiled, knowing she had me. "What can we do to make you feel comfortable?"

"I don't know," I said. "What do people typically do in these types of situations?"

Jaehee suddenly sat up smiling and clapped her hands. "I know," she said. "We'll get you a media coach."

\--- 

It was just our luck that Seven's girlfriend, Lexi Ann, was immediately available to step in as my media coach. She had been working as Echo Girl's assistant, and sort of like an undercover informant for us, until the RFA party, that is. When Echo Girl saw Lexi Ann show up on the arm of Saeyoung, she put two and two together, and, well, bam! Lexi Ann was history, fired on the spot.

"It's OK," Lexi Ann said. "I hated working for that woman anyway... Besides, I think the whole spy angle kind of ran its course…"

Lexi Ann was too much of a communications genius to be working as Echo Girl's assistant anyway. Prior to meeting us, she had worked in four other countries in various aspects of technology and journalism. At one point, she had even worked for Oprah Winfrey in the United States.

"I'm a jack of all trades in the media world," Lexi Ann said with pride. "Come on, float me any story, I'll give you the 6-8 word headline, nut graph or tagline..."

No wonder she and Saeyoung were such a good pair, I thought. I was just thankful she was so willing and available to help me. We spent the rest of the afternoon role playing talk show.

"So, MC…" Lexi Ann said in a mocking voice reminiscent of current Viewpoint host attorney Sun Aries. "What do you know about this 'mystery man' Echo Girl showed up to the RFA party with?"

I felt my face flush pink and I was at a total loss for words. "I, uh…" I stammered, clutching at my chest with my fingers. It was the migratory birds all over again.

"See?" Lexi Ann said. "This is why we're doing this… so that you'll be prepared." She put a comforting hand on my knee. "Don't worry, you'll be more than media ready by the time I'm done with you."

"OK," I said, nodding, trying to convince myself more than her, I think. "I better be ready. I certainly can't fuck up."

Lexi Ann looked at me very seriously. "Trust me, you'll be fine," she said, and then she switched gears. "OK, so let's think it through… what's the narrative that we want to portray?"

"That Kwang-jo wasn't my ex-boyfriend…" I said. "I don't want to talk about him, ever."

Lexi Ann nodded. "Yes," she said. "Ideally, that is the narrative we're going for… but honestly, MC, you have to be prepared for the worst…" her brown eyes searched mine. "You have to be prepared for everything."

I felt a sick feeling rise in my throat, but I swallowed it down. "OK," I said. "OK."

"Rule #1…" Lexi Ann said. "Be friendly and amiable…"

"Aren't those the same thing?" I said.

Lexi Ann scrunched up her nose at me. "Well, yeah, basically," she said. "Look, do you want help or what?"

She reminded me a lot of Saeyoung when she said that, and so I smiled. "OK, then," I said. "Let's take it from the top."

Lexi Ann smiled and straightened herself up, just like Sun Aries might've done it in the show. "OK, then, what's up with the 'mystery man'... did you know him?"

I took a breath and laughed a little, reminding myself of rule number #2: Make everything fun, aka giggle and toss your hair A LOT. Lexi Ann nodded her approval. "Know him?" I said, with the giggle. "I never saw him before in my life, then he showed up outside my yoga studio that day… Imagine my surprise when…"

Lexi Ann cut me off. "OK, that's good…" she started. "But the thing with a lie is that it's a lie… so the less you say the better. Remember, for everything you say there are about twenty journalists out there who are making it their business to discount what you say on every level..."

God, like Saeyoung, I was so glad that Lexi Ann was on my side and not the other way around.

\--- 

When I got home later that night, Zen was absorbed in one of the More Than Friends Season 2 scripts.

"Oh damn!" he said, his lip curling into a menacing smile. "Oh yes! Damn!"

"What is it, babe?" I said, poking my head around the kitchen door. Since it was one of Zen's reading nights, I had offered to cook dinner, and was so wrangling some pre-made tomato sauce and pasta I'd picked up at the local grocery store.

"Babe," Zen said, popping up and practically gliding into the kitchen. "You aren't going to believe this!" He grabbed me around the waist, picked me up and spun me around. "This is so amazing!"

"What is it?" I said, trying not to get distracted by his bare biceps. He was wearing a tank top.

He set me down on top of the counter, keeping himself positioned between my legs. "Oh man!" he said, pointing to the script he was holding in his hands. He could barely contain his glee. "They're WRITING HER OUT."

"What?" I said, having no concept of what that even meant.

"They're writing her out of the story, babe!" he leaned forward to kiss me and then picked me up to turn me around again for a little whoop-de-whirl. "She's DONE. She's FINISHED."

"Who?" I said, feeling a little dizzy. There had to be only one "her". "You mean Echo Girl?"

Zen leaned forward, smiling devilishly at me. "YES!" he said. "Echo Girl! Kyungju! Whatever the fuck her name is!" he paused and took a breath, getting ready to explain. "She's going to get sick… They're diagnosing her with a disease, some kind of autoimmune disorder called Pemphigus Vulgaris and, oh damn…" Zen said, picking up his phone, Foogling it. "Man, it's pretty awful…"

"Yeah?" I said. "What is it? Let me see…"

Zen showed me his phone. He'd pulled up a page that showed pictures of people with the disease, and they were awful. Men and women of all ages, their faces horribly disfigured, skin covered with pussy blisters and swelling.

"Ugh," I said, wrinkling my nose, almost able to smell the stench of it. "That's so gross!"

"Yeah, terrible," Zen said. "Wow, Echo Girl is really going to hate that…"

"No kidding," I said, trying to sound serious, but not really able to stifle the giggle that was rising in my throat. An image had begun to form in my mind of Echo Girl sitting in her makeup chair, and the look she had on her face as they applied the pussy blisters… Priceless.

"Damn," Zen said, a smile escaping his lips. He was likely imagining similar things. "Poor Lovey-hunny…"

"Poor, poor Lovey-hunny…" I said, breaking out my best fake sympathetic voice. Tears of laughter were pooling at the corners of my eyes.

Not able to hold it any longer, and god, why should we? We both erupted into full-on belly clutching laughter. I laughed so hard my side started to ache.

"OK, ok, babe," I gasped. "We got to stop… My stomach…"

We were laughing so hard, we both fell on our backs onto the floor, and Zen rolled on top of me. His face was red and he had tears in his eyes. I looked at him sideways. Tears of joy, right?

"I love you so much," he said, and then he got that dreamy, faraway look in his eye again. Why was he acting so weird? I was going to ask him but then another thought occurred to me.

"Babe," I said. "So what do you think that means for the show overall? I mean, Echo Girl's a main character? Doesn't her dead kind of kill the plot line?"

Zen shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly, I don't know…" he said. "If they decide to keep the show going, they'll obviously have to take the story in a different direction…"

"Maybe someone else will move into Ji-yoo's flat… a new love interest for Jae-joon…" I offered.

Zen sighed. "Yeah, possibly, but the more likely scenario is that they'll just cancel the show. We have roughly six episodes left… that's about enough to finish off Echo Girl and wrap it up… There's been so much controversy around this season, and well, last season, too, really... I don't know if it's worth it to try and keep it going."

I placed a hand on each of his cheeks and looked up into his eyes. "Oh, babe," I said. "Something else will come along… I just know it."

"Yeah, I know," he said. "You know, I feel mostly relieved… Man, I hated working with Echo Girl."

I reached up to brush some of the silver hair away from his face. "I know you did, babe," I said. "I'm really proud of you, though, you know?"

He looked up at me with a boyish half smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I said. "Echo Girl made your life… our lives... damn near impossible, and yet somehow you managed to stay a total professional."

Zen nodded. "I did, didn't I?"

I nodded back. "That's got to go a long way toward your next gig, don't you think?"

Zen sat up - we were still on the floor - and leaned against the kitchen cabinets. "Come here," he said, with a glimmer in his eye. I scooted toward him and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. "Babe," he breathed, and I felt his lips on the top of my head. "This is all good news. Things are going to get better from here." He turned my face around to look me in the eye, and then kissed me once on the lips. "I promise."

"You don't have to promise," I said and I looked deeply into his eyes so he'd know I meant it. "It's not all on you... We're in this together. Forever and always."

Zen smiled. "Yeah, we are, aren't we?"

This time when he kissed me, he didn't stop. I parted my lips and let his tongue explore me. I breathed him in, lost in the beautiful scent of him, kissing him back with what felt like my entire self. It was so good that I thought maybe I could just make out with this guy forever and be totally satisfied... but then Zen's hand slipped lower, brushing the bare skin of my stomach, and I had to take it back. Of course I needed him inside me. I needed him like I needed air.

"You know, you owe me," Zen whispered after a while.

"Oh, do I?" I said, playfully, knowing full-well what he was talking about. I hadn't forgotten about the boner I'd left him with after we woke up late, talked about my family and then had to rush off to work.

"Yeah," Zen said, taking my hand and placing it on the bulge that was growing in his pants. He had the most wicked smile on his face. "Good thing I saved it for you."

I don't know what happened, but something about feeling his hardness underneath my hand flipped a switch inside me. I felt my whole body flush with heat, my whole mind fill up with the raunchiest of thoughts. There was only one thing I could think of and I wanted it now. With fire in my eyes, I straddled him, went for his belt buckle and then started pulling at the leather. I heard Zen gasp, taken aback.

"Shit, babe," Zen said, with a lusty chuckle. "Maybe you've got a beast, too…"

I looked up at him and grinned, not bothering to hide the wild look in my eye. "Yeah?" I said. "You think you're the only one who gets to be an animal?"

Still working the buckle, I crushed my lips to his and kissed him greedily. In a heartbeat, I had Zen's buckle loose and stopped kissing him long enough to start tugging at the waistband of his pants...

I wasn't able to help myself when his underwear came off and his cock popped out bobbing to attention. In a move, I was on him, wrapping my hands around the shaft, putting my mouth around the salty tip. Zen moaned, digging his fingers into my hair as I began to suck, swirling my tongue around his hardness, gripping his balls with my free hand. He tasted so good I took him even further into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat.

"God, MC…" Zen groaned, and then he began to pump slowly inside my mouth. I moved rhythmically with his motions, responding to the little gasps and moans he was making, noting the spots he liked, and revisiting them again and again.

"Oh, man…" Zen moaned. "Babe, you better stop now, or I'm going to..."

Little did he know it was my intention to take him completely under my power, make him cum, and so instead of stopping, I sucked harder and faster, taking him deeper in my mouth. My body tingled with satisfaction as Zen's thrusts became more ragged and urgent in response... until suddenly he cursed. I felt his body tighten as he tried to pull back, but I held him inside my mouth and continued to suck until I felt his load shoot into the back of my throat… and I swallowed all of it, every single drop.

"Oh god, Oh, MC, MC, MC..." Zen called my name over and over as he came. I loved the way he pulled at my hair and got delirious as he lost himself. When it was over, I slowly released his length, savoring the taste of him as I licked him clean. Then I lifted my head to look at him.

"Damn, Princess," Zen smiled, and then he laughed. "You sure you didn't do that wrestling team? Because you've got SKILLS..."

I sat up and swatted him playfully. "Shut up," I said, smiling and pushed him back against the kitchen cabinets.

"You know," Zen said a moment later. "I think it's official."

"What's official?" I said, turning my head to look at him quizzically.

"I think we've officially done it in every room of the apartment," he said, smiling.

"Yeah," I said, smiling back at him. "Kitchen… check! Good job us!"

"Damn," Zen said. He had a wistful look. "I'm wondering why it took us this long…"

"Because you wouldn't give it up," I said, teasing him just a bit. "Remember? You said you wanted to preserve my honor, but you were just…"

"SHHH… DON'T SAY IT!" Zen said, laughing and pressing a finger to my lips. Then he picked me up and spun me around.

"A virgin!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as soon as my mouth was free. "I'm your ONE and ONLY!"

Zen carried me into the living room and laid me gently on the couch, crawling on top of me. "Yes, Princess," he said, softly. "You're my one and only…"

\--- 

"You know," Zen said, sometime later. We were still lying together on the couch in various stages of undress. "I'm really looking forward to looking for other work…"

Another thought occurred to me and I sighed. If Zen would be looking for work soon that meant any sort of PR he did, or that I did, would be extra important now. I thought about my upcoming appearance on The Viewpoint.

"What is it, babe?" Zen said, seeing the worried look on my face. I hadn't told him about the show yet, but now was as good a time as any.

"The Korea Now Network called Jaehee today," I started. "They want me to go on The Viewpoint…"

Zen's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "They do? Seriously?" he said. "Wow, babe, that's great…" He studied my face for a moment. "Wait, you don't look exactly excited about this..."

"No, I'm not," I said. "Not really… I mean, what if I mess it up? Especially now that you'll be looking for work again it's going to be even more super important."

"Come here," Zen said, pulling me even closer so I could snuggle my face into his naked chest. "Nothing you do could disappoint me. Just be yourself. The people will love you. I love you."

Zen reached down and pulled my face up so that his nose was touching mine, his red eyes searching deep into my brown ones in such a way that made me wonder what secret thing he was thinking about again. I was about to ask, but then he kissed me again.

\--- 

The next day, Driver Kim picked me up and drove me and Lexi Ann to the Korea Now Network studios to film my guest appearance on The Viewpoint.

"Are you nervous?" Lexi Ann said, touching my knee. I hadn't noticed until that moment that my knee had been shaking.

"A little," I said, and then I looked at Lexi Ann, who was looking at me, so I copped to the truth. "OK, so I'm nervous a lot."

"It's OK, MC," she said. "You're going to be great… Just remember what we talked about."

"That's what I'm worried about," I said. "We talked about a lot of stuff… I just don't think I'm cut out for all this media stuff..."

"Don't worry," Lexi Ann said. "Remember Rule #3…"

"Yeah," I said. "When in doubt, evade the question by asking one of your own…"

"YES!" Lexi Ann said, giving me a high five. "See? You're a natural!"

I knew I was supposed to feel better, but I didn't. I just had a bad feeling about all of this. So much was riding on the line for Zen and his career, and I so didn't want to blow it.

Finally, the Korea Now Network came into view, a big white flat building with about ten antennas on top. When we got out of the car, we were greeted by the showrunner, a stunning woman with flaming red hair named Jin Nari.

"Oh good, you're here…" she said with a flashy smile. "I just love a guest who is on time… Timeliness… it's a trait that's just a little too rare these days, IMO..." Nari showed us directly to the green room, basically a small waiting/dressing room just outside the studio itself. Inside was a dressing table, couch and side table with refreshments. There was also a television monitor that relayed what was happening in the studio.

"This is where you'll be until an associate comes for you," she said. "I do believe you're the main act, so you'll come on after the actor Keanu Reeves…"

I heard Lexi Ann gulp beside me. "Keanu Reeves is here?" she gasped, and then looked at me. I shrugged. Who was Keanu Reeves? I had no idea.

"Yes," Nari said. "The theme today is 'Teen Heartthrobs Then and Now, and well, I guess he used to be one, didn't he?"

Lexi Ann bobbed her head up and down. "God, MC, how do you not know who he is?" she said. All the color had drained from her face and she was simply beside herself. "He was in this movie I LOVED as a kid… Well, actually, it was my mom's favorite movie as a kid, and then she showed it to me… anyways…" Her eyes continued to widen as mine continued to appear more and more blank. I had no idea who or what she was talking about. Lexi Ann put a hand on my shoulder. "MC, are you trying to tell me you've never seen 'Point Break'? What about 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure'? 'The MATRIX'?"

"Nope," I said, shaking my head. "I sure haven't." It was kind of fun seeing Lexi Ann this flustered, getting all worked up over a guy, a celebrity that was maybe thirty years her senior. I wondered what Saeyoung would have to say about that...

Nari smiled. "Well, perhaps we can arrange a meeting after the shoot…"

Lexi Ann's eyebrows shot up. "Really?!" she said. "I would LOVE that. I'm such a MEGA fan."

"No promises," Nari said. "But I'll see what I can do…"

"Oh my god, thank you!" Lexi Ann said, pumping Nari's hand with both of her own. "Thank you so much!"

"You're so hilarious," I said when Nari had left the room. "I've never seen you go to mock ten over a guy before… I mean, not even Saeyoung…"

"No offense, MC," Lexi Ann said. "Saeyoung is a lot of things, but he is NOT Keanu Reeves."

We both laughed and I tried to think of a celebrity I would go nuts over, but there wasn't anyone I could think of that I would want more than Zen.

When Keanu Reeves took the stage, I thought Lexi Ann was going to go mental. The aging actor was actually better looking than I imagined, a tall man with dark hair, but god, he was still so old. Lexi Ann was literally sitting on the edge of her seat, her eyes wide, her fingers in her hair. "Oh my god," she said. "I can't believe I'm in the same building as Keanu Reeves."

Watching her watch Keanu was actually a welcome distraction. I was so entertained by her admiration that I forgot to think about what was coming next. Soon it would be me on that stage...

The Viewpoint was hosted by four women. As I've already mentioned, there was Sun Aries, an attorney turned celebrity show host. There was also Song Ji-yeon, a former soap opera actress, a former pop star known as Yumi, and a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Nam Sook-ja. The hosts all ranged in age from about 26 (Yumi) to 58 (Nam Sook-ja). The idea was that having representatives from different generations would naturally stoke the conversation in interesting ways. Apparently that was happening with Keanu now.

"So, Keanu, you have a new film coming up," Sook-ja said, leaning forward and batting her eyelashes. Keanu was obviously the heart throb from her day.

"Yeah," Keanu said. "It's a sequel to a film me and my buddy, Alex Winter, are going to star in…"

"Yeah, but isn't that just about two aging rockstar dads?" Yumi said, busting in on the conversation. "Like, don't you think you're too old to be trying to live the rockstar dream?"

"Come on, Yumi," Sook-ja said. "What do you know about it?"

"Well, it's really more about parenting than becoming a rockstar…" Keanu started. I could see he was working rule #1: be friendly and amiable.

Keanu was trying hard, but his voice faded into the background as Yumi and Sook-ja continued to argue with mostly just each other. Every once in a while, Aries would manage to get a word in edgewise, but ultimately it didn't seem to help.

"Yumi and Sook-ja always have it in for each other," Lexi Ann said. "I should've warned you about that. Part of the show dynamic, what the viewers like, is to watch them go at each other's throats."

I nodded. I was starting to feel a little sick to my stomach. I did not want to be caught in a situation Keanu like was in right now.

"Just take a breath, MC," Lexi Ann said. "You'll be fine."

Finally, after what seemed like an ice age, the show went to commercial break and one of the production assistants came to get me. "You're up in five, MC," she said.

I stood up and followed her on shaky knees down the hall and around the corner to wait in the wings.

"Stay here until they introduce you and then go on up," the production assistant said. "...And don't forget to smile and wave at the studio audience - that's important."

I nodded, smoothing my dress and touching my hair. Lexi Ann had decided that we should keep it classic and so I was wearing a simple little black dress and Mary Jane sandals, with my hair down and loose. I sighed. Wow, five minutes sure could seem like a long time, when you were waiting. I tried to distract myself by counting the stage lights... until finally, they began to flash and someone cued the music.

"Welcome back to the The Viewpoint…" It was Song Ji-yeon speaking into the camera. "Now we'd like to welcome our second guest… She's gotten a lot of attention in the media lately because of her boyfriend, the musical actor and one half of More Than Friends fame, Zen…" Ji-yeon had to pause for the shouts and applause at the mention of Zen's name, and then went on. "Please welcome one third of the infamous More Than Friends Love Triangle, the beautiful MC!"

The music surged and I rolled my eyes. Oh brother, here goes nothing, I thought. Somehow I felt my legs propelling me forward toward the stage. It felt like someone else's body, someone else's legs moving across the floor, but I just went with it. As I reached the steps, I heard the production assistant whisper. "Turn, smile and wave!" she urged. "Turn, smile and wave... NOW!"

I did as she said, turning slightly I smiled and waved with both hands. "Hello everybody!" I shouted, blowing kisses from what seemed like somebody else's mouth. Slowly, I turned back away from the crowd and concentrated on my feet as I mounted the stairs so I wouldn't trip. Finally I made it to the lavender couch and sat down. Phew, at least I made it without face planting. Small victories.

"Hi…" I said, beaming to the hosts and then out toward the crowd. Rule #1: be friendly and amiable. The audience roared in response, some of them screaming my name in that same crazed teenager way they screamed Zen's.

"Welcome, welcome, MC!" Ji-yeon said, the soap opera actress smiled so big I thought that the white of her teeth might blind me.

"How are you doing today, MC?" Yumi, the pop star, said. Wow, I couldn't help but notice that her boobs were even bigger in person. I had to avert my eyes and will them back up to her face.

"Just fine, just fine," I said, turning to sweep my eyes across the sea of faces. "Wow, there are A LOT of people here." Remembering Rule #4: when you're not sure what to say, state the obvious + smile.

To my surprise, the audience laughed and so did the panel. "Yes, yes, MC," Aries said. "It's a little different when you're sitting on this side of the screen, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said, smiling. "Definitely not something I'm used to… thank you so much for inviting me." Remembering Rule #6: always be gracious.

"We're so glad to have you, MC," Sook-ja said. Little crow's feet wrinkles were just barely visible behind her warm smile. She was so beautiful. God, I hoped I looked that good when I'm older. "We've all been watching with some fascination the development of Zen's career…"

"Yes," Yumi said, interrupting with a smack of lips. "I've been a huge fan, ever since The Jalapeno Topping Was Pretty Spicy… He was just so good in that, don't you think? The scene where he's saying good-bye to his best friend…" She touched her forehead like she was about to swoon. "Just SO heartbreaking…"

"I know, right?!" I said, placing a hand to my chest. Rule #5: use dramatic hand gestures and make eye contact whenever possible + smile, smile, smile. "Zen would love to hear you say that…" I heard myself answering in what sounded like someone else's voice. "He appreciates all his fans, especially those that notice, in particular, his acting." I smiled and the audience roared.

"So, MC…" Yumi said, leaning forward like we were becoming best friends. "How did you and Zen meet? I mean, you're a musician yourself, but you're not an actor…"

"Oh that…" I said, smiling and giggling a little (Rule #2). "Yeah, I'm a musician, but Zen didn't know that about me until a few weeks ago… We met in a chat room, actually."

Sook-ja's eyes went wide. "A chat room?"

Yumi shot Sookja a disapproving sideways glance. "Yeah, we have those nowadays..."

Uh-oh, I thought. Here we go. Luckily Sook-ja chose to ignore Yumi, for now. "What kind of chat room? Don't tell me Zen has to resort to online dating sites to get a date…?"

The audience laughed and I joined in. "Oh god," I said, laughing. "God, no… We met in a special chat room that's associated with the RFA, the charity organization we belong to. You see, I was hired as a party coordinator…"

"...and the rest was history, wasn't it?" Ji-yeon said, cutting me off at the quick. "Well, that's all well and good, but let's get to the bit we all really want to know about, shall we?"

"Uh-oh, here it comes…" Sook-ja said, cupping her hand over her mouth and speaking in my direction. "Sorry in advance, MC… Inquiring minds want to know…"

"Inquiring minds NEED to know," Yumi said with a laugh.

I felt my whole body go rigid and tense, bracing myself for the question. Would it be about Kwang-jo? Echo Girl? Zen's vice grip around Kwang-jo's neck? I glanced over in the direction of the stage wings, where Lexi Ann was standing. She shrugged.

"Well," Ji-yeon said, her bright blue eyes looking demure. "What we all REALLY want to know is… Well, MC, what is Zen like in bed?"

As the words washed over me, I felt all the color drain from my face… and then without warning the blood immediately flushed back in the other direction, turning my face a bright red.

"Oh, um… uh…" I started to stammer and then my mouth went dry. In a panic, I glanced at Lexi Ann. She was holding up two fingers. OK, Rule #2… She wants me to do Rule #2… Damn it, what was Rule #2? Oh god, my mind was spinning… and then I remembered. Rule #2: make it fun. I took another breath, breathing in and out, to compose myself.

"Oh, Ji-yeon," I said, forcing a giggle and a fun toss of my hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lexi Ann nod, and so I slid directly into Rule #3: when you're not sure what to say, ask a question of your own. "Well, Ji-yeon," I said, with another giggle for good measure. "Wouldn't you like to know…?"

"Wouldn't I like to know?" Ji-yeon repeated. "Heck yes I'd like to know!" and then when I didn't answer. "Well, is that all we're going to get?"

"Well, you know you really should never kiss and tell…" I said, and then I bit my bottom lip remembering Rule #7: a little (just a little) controversy never hurts. "But I will tell you…" I started, pausing for dramatic effect, and as I did, I swear the whole panel, the whole audience leaned forward. "What I can tell you is that Zen aims to please...and he sure as hell doesn't disappoint…"

The whole audience erupted in a roar. "Ooooh!" they said, and began exchanging knowing looks, smiles and glances.

"Oh jesus!" Sook-ja cried, leaning back and fanning herself. "I swear that comment was enough to break me out of menopause…"

"Oh wow," Yumi said. "That sure leaves A LOT to the imagination…"

"Anything else you want to share, MC, in that department?" Ji-yeon said, hopefully. "Maybe about the size of his anatomy? Please?"

"Nope," I said with a definitive shake of the head. "I said all I'm going to say about that…"

"You sure?" Yumi said.

"Positive," I said, folding my hands in my lap to show I meant business, but in a fun way, being mindful of Rule #1. I smiled and glanced out at the audience, they were all covering their blushing faces and whispering to one another.

"OK, then, moving on, reluctantly…" Sook-ja said. "Let's talk about your nemesis then… Echo Girl…"

"Oh I don't know if I'd call her my nemesis," I said with a flip of my hair.

"OK, then, well Zen's co-star…" Sook-ja corrected. "What's it like watching him work with her… I mean, as part of a couple?"

"Yes," Yumi chimed in. "I mean, as a couple on stage they were so convincing…"

"So convincing," Ji-yeon parroted.

"Well," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "That just goes to show, again, what a great actor my lovely Zen is…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lexi Ann give me the double thumbs up. Rule #8: don't take the bait. The hosts tried a couple more times to get me trash talk Echo Girl, but I wouldn't play. I kept changing the subject, asking them questions, basically running the show. The interview continued like this for a while, and I might've even been able to say that I was having fun. Finally, though, the conversation turned a corner.

"So, MC," Yumi said, smiling and batting her lashes. "We have a surprise for you…"

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest at the word "surprise" because, you know, I don't like surprises. "Ohhh….?" I said, trying to keep it cool.

"Yeah," Ji-yeon said. "We have someone off-stage waiting to meet you…"

I felt the color drain from my face. So far they hadn't brought up Kwang-jo, hadn't said a thing about him, but now… Do they have him off stage right now? Or Echo Girl? Are they going to bring Echo Girl out here and let us duke it out? I've seen that kind of thing go down on shows like this before...

"OK, everyone," Yumi said. "As you know, this morning's show is about heart throbs and it wouldn't be a show about heart throbs without… ZEN!"

Both my hands shot up to cover my open mouth in surprise as I watched my beautiful boyfriend glide toward me confidently from off-stage in the wings. I can't even begin to describe the feelings of relief washing over me as I watched him turn toward the audience, give them all a hearty wave and then blow them a kiss. How my heart warmed, no glowed, as he turned his attention back to me, continuing his walk up the stairs to me, smiling that special smile he saves only for me. When he finally reached me, I stood up and he gathered me in his long arms.

"I'm sorry, babe," Zen said, his hot breath whispering in my ear. "They insisted it should be a surprise… I know how you hate surprises, but..."

"Oh, Zen," I said, as I blinked back tears of relief and joy. "Don't worry about it… I'm just so glad you weren't…"

"Right?" he said, catching my drift. "That totally would've sucked… Now kiss me."

Zen wrapped his arms tight around my waist and lifted me up to meet his parted lips. The moment our faces made contact, the audience started to whoop, holler and just in general, go wild. Zen didn't hold back in the slightest. I knew he always loved an audience and he was loving it now. Sliding his hands up my back to the base of my neck, he crushed his lips to mine in search of the taste of me.

"Wow," Yumi said, when Zen finally pulled away. She was red in the face and fanning herself with a piece of paper. "That was some kiss…"

Zen took my hand, smiled and we both sat down on the couch.

"Yeah...some kiss," Ji-yeon said. She was fanning herself with the back of her hand. "Wow, it becomes obvious what's an act and what's real, does it not?"

"I've certainly never seen you kiss Echo Girl that way, Zen," Aries said. Zen smiled and blushed.

"Well, being with MC is easy," Zen said, playing with my fingers. "Because that's how I really feel. Making it look believable with Echo Girl, well that's… harder."

Zen chuckled a little bit and the audience and the panel followed suit.

"Yes," Yumi said. "How did you deal with that?"

"Especially since all sources seemed to point to Echo Girl," Sook-ja said. "I mean, the whole country just took it for granted that you two were a thing…"

"...and Echo Girl didn't go out of her way to dispute it, did she?" Aries added.

"Yes, Zen," Ji-yeon said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Zen sighed. "Well, if you remember, I DID say something," Zen said. "After the first Echo Girl scandal I held a press conference at the RFA charity party… I told the whole world then that Echo Girl's allegations were false. I also declared I had a girlfriend, that I was in love."

"Yes," Sook-ja said. "That wasn't so widely publicized… Why do you think that was, Zen?"

Zen shrugged. "Well, if you want the truth, I think it has something to do with what people wanted to believe… They saw More Than Friends and they wanted that to be true in real life, too." Zen turned to me. "Honestly, I'm just so glad it's over."

"Do you think the show will get picked up for another season, Zen?" Sook-ja said. "I mean, now that the media love affair is over?"

"Unfortunately, I can't comment on that, Sook-ja," Zen said. "But I get your meaning…" Zen wrapped a long arm around me and pulled me close. "We'll just have to wait and see…"

God, Zen was such a smooth talker, so good at this media bullshit. I was in awe.

"Absolutely," Sook-ja said, clutching the chunky necklace to her chest. "Well, there's no doubt about it… I mean, wow, you two are adorable."

"Yes,," Yumi said, for once agreeing with her TV frenemy. "It looks as if South Korea has just swapped one national ideal couple for another… Well, we look forward to seeing what you do next!"

Ji-yeon leaned into the mic. "OK, well, we promised the audience we'd leave some time for their questions…" she said, pausing to look out at the audience. "Well, what do you all think? You got some questions?"

The audience roared with applause and shouts of "yes, yes, yes!"

Ji-yeon got up from her chair and waded out into the audience carrying the microphone. "OK, well, it looks like we have time for just about three questions," Ji-yeon said, glancing back at me and Zen.

"Yes," I said, nodding. "That sounds fine, doesn't it, baby?"

"Yeah, all right," Zen said, flashing a gorgeous smile to more teenage swoon sounds. "I just want to say in advance, though, I saw the earlier part of the show and well, let's just say I don't kiss and tell…" He did that thing where he scans the people in the audience, making eye contact with each and every one. "So please don't ask me anything, uh, too personal."

There were a few groans from the audience, but some applause as well. "That seems more than fair, Zen," Sook-ja said.

"Party pooper," Yumi said, making a pouty face. "Well, we'll just have to continue to leave things up to our imagination…"

"I'm good with that," Aries said with the most hot and bothered look I'd seen in a while.

Ji-yeon waved the hosts off. "OK, let's get to these audience questions," she said, standing next to a girl of about sixteen. She was wearing a tight blond ponytail on top of her head, which made the big smile she had on her face appear even wider. "OK," Ji-yeon said. "Who do we have here?"

"I'm Mikayla," the girl said, speaking with a thick British accent. "From London."

"Well, welcome Mikayla," Ji-yeon said. "What's your question.

"Well, so, Zen…" Mikayla started. "We all know you fancy MC, but I'm wondering how much? You know, would you consider... I don't know… marrying her?"

I felt my heart jump in my throat and I think I may have too audibly sucked air. "Oh god," I said. Zen squeezed my knee.

"It's OK, princess," he whispered. "I got this…"

The audience was responding with gasps and claps. "Oh…" Ji-yeon said, turning to Zen. Mikayla sat back down. "Good question…"

Zen sat back on the couch and smiled. "Wow," he said. "Well, that wasn't the kind of personal question I was thinking about when I made the request… but that's awfully personal. I mean…" he looked at me and grabbed my hand again. "We haven't even discussed it yet… so I don't think it's fair to answer one way or the other." Then I watched as Zen's eyes softened again. He was getting that goofy, weird dreamy look. "In all honesty, I can't say it's something I haven't thought about."

Suddenly my eyes went wide as everything fell into place. Zen's weird glances, his questions about my family, the long silences and the way he was avoiding some of my questions… Was Zen thinking about asking me to marry him?

I didn't even hear the other two audience questions and really don't remember how I even got off the stage. Even the after show meet-and-greet that Nari set up with Keanu Reeves for Lexi Ann seemed like a dream. All I could think about was the goofy, dreamy look on Zen's face and the particular way he squeezed my hand when he said we hadn't talked about it marriage. In particular he said we hadn't talked about marriage "yet"…

My mind kept drifting to thoughts of our future together, and how I already knew most definitely that I was going to love Zen forever. It was funny how I could look at him now and already see what he was going to be like as an old man, how his crinkled, gentle eyes would smile at me and he'd still hold my hand. I also knew it in my heart that he would be a good dad. Some people think it's impossible to be a good dad if you don't have a good role model, but I know it's the opposite. I think that if you weren't really loved as a kid, that only means you know how important it is to love and to share MORE.

Yes, I thought, looking at Zen now. Zen knew love, and he knew how to share it. Here he was talking to a fan, being so attentive and shaking her hand. God, he was just so kind, so gentle, just the best person I had ever known. My heart swelled. Yes, we hadn't discussed it "yet", but my heart had already said "yes", maybe even as far back as those early days in the chat room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Wow, another whopper chapter! Dang, it's hard to wrap up a story, especially when I LOVE these two characters SO DAMN MUCH. Was there ever a cuter couple in the history of the universe? No, I think not. Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, etc. Your comments and feedback really help me think about the story and make it better, so if you have something to say, say it :-) :-) :-) We're getting close, folks. I think maybe two more chapters… Stay tuned!


	35. Opportunities

Zen was waiting patiently at a table in the outside balcony of the Daily Bread Cafe. His mother had called and left a message saying she could meet him here today at noon. He was hoping she would have some good news about his father, but he doubted it, considering they were meeting here instead of his childhood home. Zen was feeling nervous, jittery, and so he was sipping chamomile tea instead of coffee. He lifted his hand up, trying to hold it steady, but he could see it was still trembling a bit. He sighed. What if his father was still angry, angry enough to be unwilling to grant his approval of the marriage, to help him with Eui hon, the matchmaking? He shook his head burying it in his hands and felt a sinking feeling in his chest. He just didn't know.

Suddenly he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. "Hyun?" His mother's voice was so much sharper in person. He looked up. When was the last time he'd seen her? He didn't even know. She looked very much the same, short and altogether small with kind eyes, although Zen noticed with a few more creases around the edges. He also noticed that her hair was still cut in the same blunt bob style, but that she now had some gray mixed in with the sleek black.

Zen stood up to embrace her. "Umma!" he breathed, throwing his arms around her shoulders. She smelled like home cooked food and floral perfume. Tears sprung to his eyes as he remembered and felt her arms reach around and pat him on the back.

"There, there," she said. "No need to get upset, my ahdeu…"

Zen pulled away and quickly wiped both his eyes with the back of his hand. "Umma," he said. "Can I get you something to drink? Or eat? They have some pretty decent cakes and muffins…"

"Oh no, ahdeu," she said, patting his hand as she sat down across from him and indicating he should do the same. "I can't stay long and would rather use the time we have to talk."

"OK," Zen said, sitting and already feeling depressed. This couldn't be a good sign. "How's Appa then?"

Zen's mother sighed and her face looked very heavy. "Oh, I'm sorry, ahdeu," she said. "I tried… I really tried." She reached across the table and covered Zen's hands with both of hers. "Oh, my Hyun, you know how stubborn he can be…"

Zen scowled and looked at the floor. Yeah, he knew how stubborn his father could be alright. He was remembering one time in particular, just before Zen left home. Zen's mid-semester grades had just come in. Zen usually received pretty good marks, but this semester he'd been absorbed with a school production of "The Wizard of Oz". Zen played the part of the Tin Man, and he took the part very seriously, so seriously that his studies started to slip. His father was livid.

"What kind of living do you think you can make, prancing around in plays?" his father had roared. "If you plan to continue living under this roof, my roof, you better focus on a real career, something worthy of this family, like science or law."

After that, Zen's father had forbid him to leave the house except for school.

"But Appa," Zen had said. "What about the play? The theater is counting on me…"

"Your family is counting on you," his father answered, not even looking up from his paper.

Zen could still recall the crushing feeling he'd had in his chest when he had to make the call to the director and tell him he had to quit the play. The director had been kind, had even offered to talk to Zen's father, but that didn't go well. In fact, it just made Zen's father angrier.

"What makes you think you have the right to go bad-mouthing me to your teachers?" he said through clenched teeth. "Is that any way to show respect to your elders?"

That was the beginning of the end. Zen realized he couldn't live without acting and, if that meant he couldn't live in his father's house, so be it. He waited until the end of the school year and then one night in mid-June, he packed a bag and left while the family slept. He left a note, for his mother, so that she wouldn't worry (she probably did anyway) and then never looked back.

Back in the coffee shop, Zen's mother was staring at him with soft eyes. "He says to remind you that you were the one who left," she said, her eyes now beginning to fill with tears. "He says there is no going back."

Zen felt his heart sink and tears burned behind his eyes. "But Umma," he said, his red eyes pleaded with her dark ones. "But what about the Eui hon?" Zen said. "Is he really so angry that he would disgrace his own son in that way?"

"Oh, ahdeu," she said softly. "I know, I know…" she sighed, looking utterly defeated. "I'm sorry… I…"

Zen felt the tears coming in earnest. He knew he shouldn't cry in public, the paparazzi was everywhere. He couldn't risk bringing attention to himself. If his picture, if his picture with Umma, were in the paper and his father saw it… He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, willing back the tears.

"Oh, ahdeu," his mother said, stroking his hand. "Hyun, you know you have MY blessing."

Zen looked up and gave his mother a weak smile. "Umma, you know that means a lot to me, to us, to me and MC…"

"I know it's not what you're looking for," she went on. "And I won't be able to come to the wedding or visit with you in the way you'd like… but maybe we could continue to meet in secret like this from time to time."

"Oh Umma," Zen said, feeling his heart soar with warmth at her words. "I'd like that… but I'd hate to see you get into any trouble…"

"Your father won't find out, and besides, if he does, I can handle myself," she said with a fiery look in her eye Zen hadn't seen before, and then her eyes softened. "It's been too long, Hyun, and we've already missed out on so much."

Zen's mother smiled and they sat in silence for a moment holding hands. Zen was so overcome with emotion he didn't know what to say. Also, he feared just opening his mouth would make him start crying, so he just stayed silent and squeezed her hand. My mother, he thought. My mother is here.

"Oh, and I almost forgot…" his mother said, suddenly breaking his gaze and reaching for her purse. She pulled out a small brown box and slid it across the table. "This is for you to give to her… your sinbu, MC is her name, yes?" Zen nodded. "It was your grandmother's…"

Zen picked up the box and carefully opened it. Inside was a tiny engagement ring, a simple white gold band with a single small solitaire diamond. "Oh, Umma," Zen said. He couldn't stop the tears now as they flowed out both corners of his eyes and slid down his cheeks. "I… Oh god…" he said. Literally he couldn't speak. He just got up, dropped down on his knees in front of his mother and wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh Umma, I love you," Zen cried, burying his face in her shoulder. "I never wanted to leave you, you know that… It's just… It's just…"

"There, there, ahdeu," she said softly. "I know. You did what you had to do. Your father didn't really give you much choice now, did he?" His mother touched his chin and forced him to look at her. "Hyun, listen to me very carefully… You just go live your life and make your sinbu happy, OK? This will make me happy."

Zen couldn't believe it. His heart warmed, filled with love. Yes, maybe the situation wasn't exactly what he wanted… His father was still angry… He still wasn't welcome at his father's house… His family would not be present at his wedding, but his mother's love was more than he had before… and it was enough.

\--- 

After Zen said good-bye to his mother, he walked quickly to a quiet park he knew near the river. Now that he knew his family was out of the loop he was ready to put plan B into motion. As soon as found an empty park bench and sat down, he called Jumin. The businessman picked up right away.

"Zen!" Jumin's voice came in loud and clear through the tinny speaker. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Zen had not forgotten Jumin's behavior at the Lawn Party last weekend and he was still angry. He certainly didn't like the fact that Jumin was making eyes at MC yet AGAIN and giving her expensive gifts, gifts that should come from someone like her husband-to-be and not her boss. Sure, MC needed a guitar, and Zen couldn't afford one, but still…

"What's up, Trust Fund?" Zen said through clenched teeth. Yeah, he was still irritated at Jumin, but the fact of the matter was, he'd probably always be irritated with Jumin for one thing or another. What Zen was starting to realize now more than ever was that, for better or worse, Jumin was his family, and unlike his father, Zen wasn't about to abandon the businessman for his shortcomings. "I need you to do something for me."

"Oh?" Jumin sighed, sounding bored and somewhat pleased. "What can I do for you, Zen?"

Zen cleared his throat, a little bit not believing himself what he was about to say. "Jumin, I haven't said anything to anyone yet, so please keep this to yourself, can you do that?"

Zen heard the squeak of Jumin's leather chair as he likely sat up and leaned forward in rapt attention. "Yes," Jumin said. "I am capable of, as you say, keeping a secret."

"OK, then, good," Zen said, clearing his throat again. This was harder than he thought. He was nervous. "Jumin, I am going to ask MC to marry me."

"You're WHAT?!" Jumin boomed. Zen pictured him leaping out of his chair and pacing the room in distress. "You can't AFFORD a wedding, let alone a bride…"

Zen felt the heat rising in his chest. "Now don't get started, you arrogant prick," Zen said. "I know full well what you're going to say and let's just say yes, I've considered it all. MC and I don't need a fancy wedding, and we'll get by with each other just fine."

"MC DESERVES a fancy wedding," Jumin said.

"How do you know see even WANTS one, Jumin?" Zen asked. "Have you asked her?" The line was silent on the other end and so Zen went on. "Look, Trust Fund, you're just going to have to give up the ghost on this one, dude. That… that 'thing' you have for MC, it's all in your head… Literally, it's just one of your million dollar fantasies. MC isn't the girl for you, never has been."

"Zen, I…" Jumin started, but Zen didn't let him finish.

"Look, you asked me for relationship advice once before, so let me give you some now," Zen said, feeling his breath getting hotter. "You've got a girl at home right now who cares very much about you… A girl who, if you would open your smug, arrogant eyes you would see, is much more suited to you and your… uh," Zen tried to think of the right word and then landed on one MC often used in relation to Jumin. "...proclivities. So really, if I were you, and I'm glad I'm not, I'd get my head out of my ass and attend to her while staying the fuck away from my girlfriend!"

Zen could hear Jumin sigh deeply on the other end of the phone and he waited. Finally the businessman spoke.

"So you are going to marry her then?" Jumin said. Zen breathed a sigh of relief. It was so like Trust Fund to not acknowledge what was said and move on, especially if it required any sort of backing down or apology on his part. Jumin simply wasn't capable of saying the words, but that didn't mean he didn't understand. Zen guessed Jumin had gotten the point loud and clear.

"Yeah," Zen said. "I'm going to marry her."

"So then, if I may beg your pardon," Jumin said. "What do you need me for?"

Zen sighed again. "That's just the thing," Zen said. "I need you to help me with the Eui hon, and the Napp'ae…"

Jumin chuckled. "You need me to be your daddy?"

Zen felt his cheeks burn red. "No, asshole," Zen said. "Look, dude, this is serious. I'M serious… Like it or not, we're family, the RFA are family, are we not?"

"Affirmative," Jumin said. "The RFA is family."

"Well, as acting leader of the RFA, which I think you kind of are, I want you to act on my behalf in regard to the marriage rituals that must take place. For starters, I need you to find MC's sister and extend the proposal so that she can approve the match."

"My god, Zen," Jumin said. "Why don't you just marry the girl?"

Zen sighed. "Because… I…"

"Because you're a hopeless romantic traditionalist," Jumin sighed, sounding bored and exasperated again.

"Whatever," Zen said. "Will you do it?"

"I'll have to get Saeyoung and Sarean to track her down..." Jumin said.

Zen smiled into the phone. Yes, Jumin was as asshole, for sure, but this was one asshole Zen could count on, every fucking time. He did appreciate that.

"Thank you, Trust Fund," Zen said with tears in his eyes. "Thank you so much."

"Listen, I'll do it on one condition," Jumin said.

"What?" Zen said. He didn't ever like Jumin's conditions but didn't feel like he was in much of a place, or the mood, to split hairs.

"Let me pay for the wedding," Jumin said. "You both deserve the wedding of the century, and besides, if I'm playing the role of your father…"

Zen felt his forehead crinkle in frustration and fresh anger burning in his blood. "You are NOT my father," he said.

"Point taken," Jumin said. "But still…"

Zen put a hand to his head and shook it. He hated accepting help from Jumin. He absolutely fucking hated it. "Let me think about it," Zen said. Truth be told, he couldn't afford a wedding and, god damn it, Trust Fund was right, MC deserved one. MC deserved the best wedding, ever.

"Fair enough," Jumin said. "Fair enough."

\--- 

When Zen got home, he noticed that the answering machine connected to the landline was blinking. Hardly anyone ever called him on that number, he just had it for emergencies, and he wondered who it could be. He strode over and hit the play button. The tape rewound and began to play back.

"Hello," a polite American voice started. "This is a message for Zen, the Korean actor. My name is Franz Anderton and I'm an American director. Currently, I am casting for a show on Broadway…"

Zen sucked in his breath and his heart began to beat very fast. Broadway? Was he literally getting a call from a Broadway director right now?

"...It's a period piece, set in Scotland during the Second War for Independence… We're looking at you for a lead role, actually… Well, I can give you more information on your return phone call. Please call me back at your convenience at 1+917-887-2387. Thank you."

By the time the machine clicked off, Zen was in a full-on sweat. He didn't know who to call first, his manager or director Franz Anderton. The wise move would be to call his manager first. Kelly would know what to do, she always knew what to do and would make sure he didn't screw himself like that time he tried to negotiate his own way for that London production. He'd been so excited he called the director back himself right away without consulting Kelly and bashed it up royally. He'd always regretted not getting that job.

With shaky hands, he called Kelly's number and got her voicemail. "I'm working, damn it," her high spirited, yet cranky voice drawled. "Leave your word, turd… BEEP."

As quickly and as calmly as he could, Zen relayed the details ending with a "call me back AS SOON as you get this…" and then he hung and sat down on the couch. His whole body was tingling with excitement and his breath was coming fast. A role on Broadway… Well, it was only his dream after all… Wow, and what would MC think? She'd go with him of course. His face brightened. Perhaps she could even finish her degree…

\--- 

Later that evening, Zen was in the kitchen rustling up some vegetarian chili. MC had been on a tear about how bad meat was for the environment and, as always, Zen aimed to please. Besides, chopping an endless amount of vegetables was just the type of task he needed to keep his mind off of the news he'd just received from the States. Kelly had called him back and it was true. Franz Alderman did want Zen to play a lead role as a Scottish warrior in his new play "The Uprising" slated to run on Broadway in roughly a year's time.

"This is legit, honey," Kelly said. "The real deal. They're paying real money and everything AND setting you up with an apartment in Brooklyn. You should totally go for it."

"Well, I need to talk to MC," Zen said.

"Of course you do," Kelly said, sarcastically. "This is just like the dream job of your life… better make sure the girlfriend is down."

"No seriously," Zen said. "It's serious with her. I'm serious about her. My life isn't my life without her now."

"Oh god," Kelly said, croaking up a snarky laugh. "You're too much, Zen, you know that? Ever think of taking a break from the dramatics?"

"Whatever," Zen said. "Listen, I'll talk it over with her and get back to you… How long do you think I have? To give an answer, that is?"

"Well, they're pretty interested," Kelly said. "So more time than usual, but that doesn't mean I'd drag my feet. You should probably respond within a week."

A week. That didn't give Zen a whole lot of time. He didn't want to ask MC to move to New York with him WITHOUT proposing to her first. At the very least he had to do both at the same time. He sighed, running his fingers through his long silver hair. Damn, Saeyoung and Sarean would need to find MC's sister FAST.

Back at the stove, Zen was just adding the last of the zucchini to the steaming pot when he heard MC's key in the door. Damn, how was he NOT going to tell her? How was she NOT going to know something was up just by looking at him? He was literally trembling all over with excitement.

"Hello?" Zen heard MC's beautiful voice call from the hall. He turned the stove down to low and rushed to greet her.

"Hey, pretty girl," he said, scooping her up in his arms and spinning her around.

"Wow," she said. "What's got into you?"

"Not a whole lot," he said, biting his lip. "Just so glad to see you."

"Well, it's good to be seen," MC said. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face to hers for a kiss. Her lips were cool and crisp like the early evening air. Zen could tell that MC probably meant to give him a quick peck hello on the lips, but Zen got greedy with her. He grabbed her by the backside with both hands and hoisted her up around his waist, kissing and backing her into the wall. If he couldn't tell her what went on today, he certainly wanted to show her. He wanted her to know how hard he was going to work to please her for the rest of his life.

"Mmm…" MC murmured between kisses. "Somebody had a good day…"

"I had a great day," Zen whispered hot back into her ear. "And it's about to get a whole lot better…"

"Mmm, lucky me," MC purred, wiggling her body against him in anticipation.

Zen took a moment to let himself drink in the rich brown softness of her eyes. He loved the way her eyes smiled when she did, like she was doing now. Again, he couldn't help but imagine those eyes at 30, at 50, at 70 years old. She was going to be his, all his, for the rest of his life, just as soon as he got all the details worked out.

"What's that funny look you're giving me right now?" MC said smiling in a knowing voice. "You've been like, looking at me like that for days… It's new."

Zen shrugged. "I don't know, Princess," he said, quickly burying his face in her neck so that she couldn't see his eyes. He knew she could read him like a book. He also knew it wouldn't take that much to get him to spill the beans. He was already aching to tell her so badly, but if he did, it would ruin the great surprise he had in store. To distract himself, and her, Zen quickly went to work on that place she liked, in the hollow of her collarbone right where her beautiful neck met her shoulder. First he pressed his lips to her neck, tasting the slight saltiness of her skin with his whole mouth. Then he began to suck, letting his tongue swirl around in languid circles...

"Mmmm…" MC moaned, tilting her head back to expose the space even more to his lips. Zen felt the brush of her hair on his fingers, where he was still cupping her ass. Even that slight point of contact, the tips of her hair just barely touching his hand, sent electric pulses through his whole body. He loved just being near her, the way he could feel her without touching her and well, actually feeling her like this was even better.

"Aw man," Zen said as he felt MC's fingernails on the back of his neck. She was touching him ever so slightly and then she pulled. Zen felt his cock swell and twitch with pleasure pain as she tugged at his hair, pulling his head back just enough, not enough to hurt. They'd been together for about six months now and Zen had heard that the physical part of a relationship could start to flatten out, plateau, but man, the sex with MC was just getting better and better all the time. She already had a good handle on what he liked, and every time they were together, she just seemed to be learning more…

Both of them were still fully clothed. Zen in his running shorts and tank top, MC in her yoga clothes. Zen glanced down at the tops of her breasts fully exposed by his favorite yoga top. It was pale pink and small with a web of straps in the back. He felt a little pang of jealousy as he pictured all the other guys in the yoga class and on the subway home looking and feeling like he was right now, eyes roving her hot body, savoring every inch of her. They would've seen every inch of her, too, Zen thought crossly. Since MC wasn't the type of girl who realized just how attractive she was, she probably didn't cover up much, if at all. He really needed to remind her about that more… But Zen didn't really want to be thinking about other guys and MC right now, so he sighed and pushed those thoughts aside, opting to bury his face in her chest instead. MC gasped in response.

"Zen…" she breathed.

Her hands were tugging at the edges of Zen's shirt now and Zen thought it might be a good time to take this show into the bedroom. Still holding her close, her legs wrapped around his waist, he walked her to the bed, gently laying her down and bending to kiss her exposed belly.

"Man, I love this yoga top," he said.

"Do you?" MC said, with a dirty look in her eye that drove him wild.

"Damn, too cute," he said, smiling and loving every inch of her. God, was it even possible to love someone this much? Looking at her there, lying back with her hair cascaded around her head with that sultry look in her eye… Well, it was just more than he could take… and she wasn't even naked yet.

There were lightening moments like these where out of nowhere Zen seemed to be gripped with an unrelenting feeling of lust. He felt that urge now and he responded to it. Moving fast, he grasped her waist with his hands and pulled the tight yoga pants down over her hips, past her knees, peeling them away from her ankles. Eagerly he positioned himself between her knees, savoring the look of her bare pussy already glistening and wet, waiting for him. He glanced up at MC's face for a moment just long enough to see the look of wanting he knew would be there before he put his face between her thighs.

"Oh Hyun," MC cried as his mouth made contact with her most delicate flesh. He loved the taste of her, slightly tangy, but sweet. She had her own unique flavor and he could drink her forever. He would drink her forever.

Zen took his time in tasting her, slowly moving his tongue from top to bottom, then in circles as MC began to writhe and moan beneath him. He took her clit lightly between his teeth and began to hum, knowing the vibrations would turn her writhing into outright squirms. He knew it was time for fingers, but was holding back because any moment now she was going to start pleading, and he loved, just loved to hear her begging for it.

"Hyun," she cried right on cue. "Please, Hyun…"

She knew he had a weakness for his true name on her lips and she often played this card. Zen never grew tired of this, in fact, he swore it just got better, his name always sounded hotter, sweeter when uttered in her voice, especially in bed, time after time after time.

"Say it again," Zen said, getting greedy, like he often did.

"Hyun!" she cried. "Please, Hyun!"

Zen rewarded her with one finger, then two. He slipped inside so easily, so effortlessly, he couldn't help but imagine his dick doing the same. Gently he pressed himself against her thigh to ease the urge. He wasn't done tasting her yet, and he wouldn't be until he felt her cum on his face…

By all accounts, she was well on her way there. Now MC was lifting her hips off the bed in response to the rhythmic thrusts of his fingers.

"Oh god, oh Hyun…" MC moaned under his touch.

While inside her, Zen made sure to keep his fingers bent forward, just at the tips so he was sure to hit that gold mine spot he knew would make her sing, cry and sometimes even weep for him.

"That's a good girl," Zen said as her cries came closer together and her thighs began to shake. "Cum for me, Princess…"

As usual, at this point, his name was lost on her lips, the sounds emanating from her now a cute blast of incomprehensible babble. He smiled to himself. So cute. She was so fucking cute, even when she was getting fucked into a quivering mess.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" he said, even though he didn't think she could hear him. She was so lost in coming undone. Seeing her like this was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen… He loved the way her sweet face contorted, the way her eyes rolled back in head, the way she gripped the sheets, clawed her fingernails into his back, sometimes biting his shoulder... The way she cursed, babbled, wailed and, of course, cried his name either in a breathless shriek or a low moan… Watching his princess cum was always beautiful, and she just got more beautiful every time.

Somehow, in spite of MC's spastic motions, Zen managed to keep the rhythm going, pumping his fingers and sucking her clit until one final whimpering cry where her hips lifted so far up off the bed, she nearly smacked her pussy into his face.

"Whoa, there Princess," he said, chuckling a bit. The motion caught Zen by surprise, but he didn't miss a beat. Holding onto her hips with one hand, he kept pumping, slipping his fingers in and out through the finish. He held them there until her body stopped shaking and she became coherent again. Then he felt her hands in his hair, pulling his head up to her. He didn't resist when she greedily pulled his face down to kiss him.

Usually there might be a pause here or a couple of words exchanged, but MC obviously wasn't finished yet. Her tongue was pushing aggressively into his mouth and her hands were back at the task of pulling on his shirt.

"Here Princess," he said. "Let me help…" Zen stood up on his knees and made a show out of peeling off his shirt. He loved to watch MC's eyes get heavy and lusty as they roved over his naked chest. Watching her watch him was enough to make his nipples hard, before she even touched him.

MC still had her yoga top on, and so Zen reached for her. He pulled her up and tried grasping the tight nylon fabric, but that top wasn't going anywhere.

"Need some help there?" MC giggled. "I know… it's like body armor." Zen watched in amazement as she wriggled out of the tight fabric and pulled it up over her head. You'd think he'd get used to seeing her breasts by now without feeling crippled by the sight of them. They were just perfect... full and round, big for the rest of her tiny frame with large pink nipples that were smooth until you touched them and then they got rock hard. They were already rock hard now and Zen leaned forward to taste them. First slowly he began to suck, and then he took a nipple between his teeth just the way he knew she liked it, gently kneading the other breast with his hand…

"Oh god…" MC moaned and Zen felt her press her pubic bone up against him. Slowly she swished her hips back and forth against him. Zen's cock felt like it was going to explode already from the friction. He now realized he needed to be inside her or risk cumming before they even began.

"Whoa, hold up, Princess," Zen said, popping up to his knees. His mind was overwhelmed with sensation and he knew he was on the edge of losing himself. Quickly he brought to mind a memory of an RFA get together at Yoosung's house, where he had gotten trapped listening to Yoosung explain how to play LOLOL. He'd been so bored… OK, that was better, the I'm-gonna-cum feeling was starting to dissipate, tension averted... for now.

"What are you thinking about?" MC asked, giving him a funny look.

"Oh, just LOLOL…" Zen said, with a sheepish crooked smile. MC got it immediately.

"Oh I see…" she said, demurely. "So I'm that hot then?"

Zen leaned forward, pinning her arms on either side of her head. "SO hot…" he said as he leaned down to kiss her, but only for a moment. His cock was starting to twitch again and he had to get a condom, stat. Reluctantly - he didn't really want to stop kissing her, like ever - he pulled himself up and reached for the drawer.

"Want me to put it on that way you like?" MC said with a devilish smile.

"Yeah, but no…" Zen said with a half smile, knowing with certainty there was no way he would last through MC's putting-on-a-condom-with-her-mouth trick. He was almost ready to explode just thinking about it. Zen squeezed his eyes shut trying to block the image of MC's gorgeous lips around his... LOLOL, LOLOL, LOLOL, he thought.

"You OK, baby?" MC asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Zen said as he got it back under control enough to get back to the task at hand. Zen's eyes turned darker, more shaded as he rolled the condom down his length with anticipation for what he was about to do.

"Damn, MC," he purred. "I want you so much right now…"

"Then come and get me," she said, spreading her legs wide. Zen almost audibly whimpered at the sight of her glistening slit. He didn't waste any time positioning himself over her, pressing the hard tip of his dick at her entrance. He savored the sound as she gasped and then he pushed himself in all the way to the hilt. Feeling her walls embrace him so fully filled him with sensation and he almost lost it again right there. He was seeing so many colors at once he thought he might lose consciousness, and he had to steady himself with a hand on the bed before he started to move.

"Damn," he said under his breath. He couldn't get over the feeling of being inside her, how close to her he felt in that moment didn't even have words. Zen felt MC's hands on the small of his back, her lower half wriggling, her hips rising up to meet his… she was ready for him to move and so, slowly, he began thrust.

"Mmm…" MC moaned with a simper of satisfaction.

Zen opened his eyes to look at her and saw that she was looking at him, too. She smiled. "You're so fun, you know that, right?" she said.

"Not half as fun as you are, pretty girl," Zen said as he thrust again, this time deeper. He hoped he'd hit the spot and he did. He watched as her pretty eyes rolled back in head.

"Oooh!" she said.

Zen smiled to himself, feeling pleased. He loved being able to please her like this, to be in control of making her body respond the way it did, to be the one in charge of her eliciting all those cute noises.

The pleasure was building again inside him and Zen realized, again, he was close. Damn, he thought. He didn't want to cum yet, it was too soon. Again, he brought LOLOL to mind. He pictured Yoosung's bright naive face explaining the importance and order of the guild...

Getting things back under control, Zen picked up the pace, fucking her faster in hopes to bring MC closer to her next climax. With a free hand, he reached down and fumbled for her clit. When he found it, he put his thumb on it and began to apply pressure.

"Oooh…god..." MC moaned and ground her hips up into him rapt in pleasure.

Zen smiled as her noises got smaller more like little grunts. He knew she was getting close. Her body was bucking and rocking with his rhythm, each of his thrusts met with a rise of her hips as she attempted to sink him further, deeper within her.

"Come on, baby," Zen urged. He was at the point where he was spending most of his energy trying NOT to cum. He kept trying to focus all this thoughts on other things: LOLOL, rehearsing lines for his play, what they needed from the grocery store, etc…. Anything to keep him from losing his load too soon...

Despite his impending urge to climax himself, Zen managed to keep picking up the pace, pumping his lovely princess with his length, harder, deeper, faster. MC was a slithering mess beneath him, sweaty and mewling, fucking him back like there was no tomorrow. Damn, she looked so sexy, Zen almost couldn't handle it… almost...

"Come on, baby," Zen urged, a little more urgently. He applied a little more pressure to her clit with his thumb and began to make little circles. He was running out of other things to think about to distract him. He really, really wanted to cum.

"Oh god, oh Hyun…I'm… oh god..." MC said finally, and then her breath caught in her throat as she began to cum.

All at once Zen felt MC's insides begin to shake violently, her walls starting to spasm around him. The sensation was so intense, Zen couldn't hold back any more, and he didn't want to…

"Oh, MC…" he cried as he gave into his wildest impulses and let himself cum with her. "Oh MC… Thank god!"

Zen delivered three more quick urgent thrusts and then exploded inside her, finally giving into the overwhelming sensations that were overtaking him, finally letting himself see, without distraction, his sexy wife-to-be lose herself underneath his power.

It was another one of those mind blowing orgasms, the kind that comes in waves and leaves you sweaty and shivering and feeling electric all over. Afterwards, Zen collapsed beside his sexy, adorable princess and pulled her in close.

"I love you, MC," he said, feeling himself fill with emotion. "I love you so much." Then all of the sudden Zen was crying, sobbing like a baby. He wasn't sad exactly. He was, in fact, really, really happy. He was about to get, well almost, everything he ever wanted… Everything except his father, which maybe he could actually live without...

MC sat up immediately, surprise and concern written all over her face. "Baby!" she cried, reaching out to clasp both of his hands and pulling them to her chest. "Hyun, honey, what's wrong?"

Zen didn't know how long he was going to be able to keep everything under wraps. He sure hoped Jumin had talked to Saeyoung and Sarean and that they were doing their best to find MC's sister. He had to get her approval so he could make his proposal. He had to do it soon because Zen knew that MC knew him too well and he wasn't going to last... For now, Zen guessed he'd have to cop to at least some of the truth to preserve as much of the surprise as possible.

"Oh MC," Zen said, wiping away tears with the back of his hand. "I saw my mother today…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Oh! A sex scene from Zen's POV... Why didn't I think of this earlier? So much fun to write... Lots is happening, too and we're definitely barreling toward the end. Sorry for the near two-week hiatus... had some pressing work stuff and real life stuff to contend with... I'll try to get the last chapter out soon, though, as to not keep you all waiting... Thanks (always) for reading, reviewing, commenting, feedback, suggestions, etc. I LOVE hearing from you all... could use some help thinking about how Zen might propose... I really want it to be the best thing ever! If you have thoughts, send 'em my way :-) :-) :-)


	36. The Proposal

So if I thought that Zen was acting weird before, his behavior then was nothing compared to the way he was acting now. All week long he continued to give me that goofy, weird dreamy look, but now that was accompanied by other strange actions. For instance, I'd noticed he'd started to go on more runs, sometimes twice a day. Sometimes he'd come back not even having broken a sweat. Of course, I started to become suspicious. What could he be doing? It didn't help that, when I asked him about it, he got this guilty ass look on his face. Yeah, I was pretty sure he was up to something.

Zen had also started getting protective of his phone. I mean he used to let me use it all the time. Like if I wanted to play some music and my phone was in the other room. Or if I needed to look something up quickly on the internet. He never said a thing. He even shared his passcode, which was 5683 (using the corresponding letters on the phone interface, it spelled "love"). Now, Zen kept his phone on him at all times, except when he was in the shower. One of those times, and I'm a little bit ashamed to admit, but my curiosity got the best of me. I picked up his phone with the intention of doing a little snooping but, to my utter surprise, he had changed the passcode.

Yes, Zen was definitely up to something. At first I thought some of his weird behavior was just a result of having met with his mom. He hadn't seen her in probably almost ten years, so it was totally understandable why he'd be upset. His mother had told him his father still didn't want to see him, so that had to hurt. I thought maybe all the extra exercise was a way of dealing with the sadness and grief… But the phone? I didn't have an answer for that.

I shook my head in dismay. How could I have thought, just last week, that Zen was going to ask me to marry him? He'd gotten that look in his eye while answering a fan's question about marriage on _The Viewpoint_ and I was sure, so sure he was going to propose. Now I felt like I'd be lucky to hold onto him as my boyfriend.

The sound of an incoming message broke me out of my reverie. God, how long had I been sitting here at work doing nothing? I clicked on the messenger icon. The message was from Jaehee.

Jaehee: Do you have that report ready yet?

MC: Not yet

Jaehee: The Chairman needs it by lunchtime.

MC: You'll have it.

MC: Promise.

I sighed. No, I did not have that report ready yet, although I should have by now. I closed the message window and navigated back to report I was writing and sighed. I absolutely had to get my head out of the clouds and get back to work or, in addition to Zen acting weird, I was going to get fired. Trying to figure out what was up with Zen would have to wait until later.

\--- 

Back at the apartment, Zen was sweating and nervous sitting on the couch and staring at his phone. The slip of paper next to it had a name and a phone number. MC's sister. After a lot of back and forth, which meant a lot of sneaking around on Zen's part to provide Saeyoung and Saeran with the information and details they needed to track her down, the hackers had found her still living in London and working for a prestigious law firm.

Zen sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew he had to do this, but he hadn't put much thought into actually doing it, and now the very real possibility that she might say "no" presented itself loud and clear. What if she did say "no"? Zen didn't know what he would do.

"Fuck it," Zen said outloud, finally, as he slammed his hand into the couch. It was now or never. He took a deep breath and then picked up the phone. Someone, likely MC's sister, picked up right away.

"Hello?" she said. Her voice was small and sweet like MC's only a little more business-sounding in tone.

"Uh," Zen said as he began to sweat even more. "Lee Hae? Is this Lee Hae?"

"Yes," Hae said, sounding wary. "And who is this?"

"Um, uh," Zen said, trying to gather his words. He'd practiced in the mirror all morning. "You don't know me, but I'm dating your sister, MC."

"I know who my sister is," Lee Hae said. There was some snark in her tone. "What can I do for you?" she asked, and then suddenly she paused and sucked in a breath. "Oh my god, is MC... is she OK?

"Yes, she's fine," Zen said quickly. "Everything's fine." He heard Hae breathe a sigh of relief.

"OK, then," Hae said, her voice back to down to business. "What did you say your name was?"

"My name is Zen," he said almost automatically, forgetting his script. "Uh, I mean Ryu Hyun…"

"Wait," Hae said, her voice perking up. "Did you say ZEN? As in THE Zen, the actor?"

Zen cleared his throat. "Um," Zen said, wiping some sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Uh, well yeah, I guess I am that guy."

"Oh my GOD!" Hae cried. "ZEN is calling me!? I can't believe it…"

Zen heard some whispering in the background. Hae was likely relaying this information to whoever was with her.

"Excuse me?" Zen said into the receiver.

"Oh sorry!" Hae said. "I just got so excited… I'm at work and I had to explain what all the commotion was about."

"Um, I guess you're a fan, then?" Zen couldn't help himself from smiling. What was MC going to think when she found out her sister was a fan.

"Oh my god, YES," Hae said. "I've seen all your shows and own every one except Tei's Tea Leaf, which is out of print."

"Oh, well I could get you a copy," Zen said, amiably.

"You could!?" Hae practically squealed. "Oh my god, thank you!" Hae was silent for a moment and then she spoke. "Wait, what did you say?" she said. "You're my DATING my sister?"

"Well," Zen said, he had sworn to himself that he was going to be honest. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. "We're actually living together…"

"Oh my god!?" Hae squealed again. "My SISTER is living with ZEN the actor?"

"Yes," Zen said. "For quite a while. We're in love." Zen scratched his head. "Don't you read the papers? We've been all over the celebrity publications for months…"

"Oh, I don't pay attention to all that," Hae said. "Celebrity news isn't news… and I'm really busy. I work more than 60 hours a week."

"Wow," Zen said. "I don't know if I could handle that."  
"I'm quite proud of my work ethic," Hae said. "And I can support myself independently, which is more than you can probably say about my sister. How is she anyway?"

Zen guessed Lee Hae wanted to hear about what kind of job MC was doing and so he obliged. "She's working for C&R International, a large firm that has its hand in all kinds of industry… She mostly does PR and marketing."

Hae sighed, sounding impressed. "Well, if that doesn't sound just legitimate," Hae said. "I thought for sure you were going to tell me she was in a rock band or something... " she sighed again, wistfully. "Bloody idealistic that girl is… not a practical bone in her body."

Zen smiled to himself. And that's why I love her, he thought.

"Well, Zen," Hae said. "What can I do for you? Why the call?"

"Well, to get right to the point, then," Zen said, clearing his throat again. "I want to marry MC. I want her to be my wife and, well, uh, tradition says I need her family's permission… and well, your parents are…"

"Yes, they're dead," Hae said without emotion. "It's OK, Zen, really." she paused. "OK, so you're after the Eui hon, are you?"

"Yes," Zen said.

"Well, shouldn't your father be making this call?" Hae said.

"Well, er, yes," Zen said. "But my father… well, to put it bluntly, we're kind of estranged… and the truth of the matter is, I do have someone standing in for me, and yes, he will make the formal call, but I wanted to introduce myself first."  
Hae sighed. "Well, that's very kind," she said. "Do you expect my sister will accept your proposal?"

"I certainly hope so," Zen said. God, Zen thought feeling all the color drain from his face. What if she did say "no"? Zen squeezed his eyes shut and shook the thought from his head.

Hae started to laugh. "Well, I should hope so!" she cackled. "I'd kill her if she said 'no'... Imagine… having ZEN the actor in our family…"

Zen really wished she'd stop saying his name that way. "So you'll say 'yes' then?" Zen said. "You'll agree to the match?"

"Yes, of course, my soon to be brother-in-law," Hae said. "And you don't really need to get your stand-in to call me, but I bet you will since you sound like such a traditionalist."

Zen smiled. Yeah, he guessed he was that, a traditionalist.

\--- 

By the time I got home it was well after 7pm. Work had been long and horrible. Jumin and the Chairmen were meeting with potential clients all afternoon and I was running my ass off back and forth, writing proposals, editing proposals, printing proposals in glossy print. I was so looking forward to seeing Zen, perhaps burning off some of my frustration with some hot sex, but when I opened the door, the apartment was dark and silent. What? Zen wasn't home yet? I didn't remember him saying anything about a late rehearsal…

I dumped my bag on the hallway table and double-checked my phone for messages. Nothing from Zen, but Jaehee had called me twice. I sighed. She had me all day, she could wait one friggin' hour...

I ambled into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine and see if we had any leftovers. There was a note on the kitchen table. Zen's handwriting was slanted and neat. "Babe, I had to go out and get some things. Be back soon" and he signed it with a big heart.

Get some things? What things? I thought, crinkling my nose in frustration. I opened the fridge. There was some leftover pasta and half a bottle of rose. I popped the pasta in the microwave, poured myself a glass of wine and plopped down in the nearest chair to see who was online in the Messenger app.

[MC has entered the chatroom]

Yoosung: MC! ^^

Yoosung: [happy emoji]

Saeyoung: Yo MC!

Saeyoung: [dancing emoji]

MC: Hello to you both ^^

Jaehee: Oh MC… good you're here

Jaehee: Did you get my messages?

MC: Hi Jaehee

MC: I haven't listened to them yet

MC: I just got home

Jaehee: Well, it's about you taking off next week

Jaehee: I need you to sign some forms

Saeyoung: Whoa! Hold it right there boss lady…

Saeyoung: Respect that the work day has ended, plz

MC: What? What forms?

MC: I'm not going anywhere

MC: [confused emoji]

Jaehee: Oh you're not? But I thought…

Saeyoung: Silence boss lady!

Saeyoung: NO talking to MC about work right now

Saeyoung: MC, got any plans for the weekend?

MC: Nothing special, but so far it sucks

MC: Zen isn't even here.

Yoosung: No? Where is he?

MC: I don't know. Probably on one of his mystery dates.

Yoosung: [confused emoji]

Yoosung: Mystery dates?

Saeyoung: Oh come on, MC…

Saeyoung: That guy loves you through and through

MC: I know…

MC: It's just he's been acting so weird lately.

Yoosung: Weird how?

MC: Well, he disappears a lot, like now, for instance

MC: ...and he goes on more runs…

MC: Maybe he's getting sick of me

Saeyoung: Zen is NOT getting sick of you

Saeyoung: Trust me on that one

MC: Seven, do you know something?

MC: You better tell me if you know something.

Saeyoung: I know lots of things.

MC: You're avoiding the question.

Saeyoung: Isn't it obvious?

Saeyoung: The guy gets googly eyes every time you walk in a room.

Yoosung: He totally does T-T

Jaehee: I can also verify that statement

MC: So you think I'm being stupid?

Saeyoung: So stupid.

Saeyoung was right. I was being so stupid right now. What was I so worried about? Zen loved me. He really did. I was just thinking about how much I really, really wanted him home when I heard a key in the lock. Zen!

MC: Ohhh… I got to go.

MC: Zen's home!

Saeyoung: Go get him, tiger

Yoosung: Bye, MC^^

MC: Bye!

[MC has left the chatroom]

I jumped up and ran to the hall to meet Zen at the door.

"Zen!" I said as the door pushed open. Zen looked surprised to see me and quickly pulled the door back shut to a crack.

"Babe!" He said, sticking his head through the crack in the door. "You're here!"

I wrinkled my forehead. "Of course I'm here," I said. "I LIVE here."

Zen smiled. "Of course you do, Princess," he said. "I just thought… Jaehee said you'd be working late."

"Well it IS late, it's after 7pm," I said. "What are you doing? Why are you standing out there? Why are you talking to me through the door?"

"Uh," Zen stammered. "Uh, well, uh… Shit."

"What is it?" I said. I was getting worried. More of this weird behavior. What the hell was going on?

"Look, Princess," Zen said. "It's a surprise, OK?"

"A surprise?" I said. "For me?"

"Yes, for you," Zen said smiling. "I've got some stuff out here for it, so it's kind of less of a surprise now, especially if you see it."

"Oh," I said, getting more curious by the second. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Zen said. "I didn't realize how late it was… I thought I could maybe get back before you got home…" He paused. "Hey, do you think you could go into the kitchen? So I could bring this stuff in and preserve as much of the surprise as possible?"

"Yeah, ok," I said, retreating down the hall and back to the kitchen. I got my pasta out of the microwave, smiling to myself. Surprise? What surprise? Could he be…? I shook my head. Nah, Zen was always surprising me with stuff. The necklace on the night of the party. A picnic lunch at the park during my lunch hour. That special chocolate on Valentine's Day. Yes, surprises were, in essence, Zen's second nature. This surprise was likely no big deal and probably fun.

"Looks like it's going to be a special weekend after all," I called to Zen in a teasing voice. My back was to the hallway, but I could hear him rustling around in the closet.

"Look, NO going in the closet," Zen said using a warning tone. "You got that?"

"OK," I said, pouting. "Fine."

"Promise?" He said.

"Yes, I promise," I said.

You know, in general, I really didn't like surprises, especially the jump-out-and-scare-you kind, but I had a feeling I was going to like this one. A lot.

\--- 

Zen did not say another word about the surprise all night, and every time I asked him about it, he'd silence me with a kiss. That kind of backfired, though, because after a while I turned it into a game.

"You just want me to kiss you again," Zen said, laughing as he touched his lips to mine for, I don't know, maybe the thirtieth time that night. "You know you could just ASK me for a kiss."

"It's more fun this way," I said.

The night had passed normally, no surprises, and the morning had, too. I had almost forgotten about it. Almost. Then Zen came up behind me while I was drying my hair with a towel. I had just gotten out of the shower. He wrapped his arms around my naked waist and planted a kiss on my shoulder.

"OK," he said. "Get ready. It's time."  
I spun around to face him. "It's time?!" I squealed. "For my surprise?"

"Yes, Princess," he said, smiling. "Get dressed."

I cocked my head to one side, eyeing him curiously. "What should I wear for this…" I paused. "...surprise?"

"Nothing special," Zen said. "Something comfortable. We'll be outside."

There it was, my first clue. We'd be outside.

"OK, you got it, babe," I said as I hurried past him to get dressed. Not twenty minutes later I emerged from the bedroom in jeans and an eyelet cotton top.

"Ready to go!" I said. I know I was beaming ear-to-ear.

"Wow, that was fast," Zen said, getting up from the couch. He crossed the room to meet me, taking both my hands in his. "You look…" he sucked in a breath as he surveyed my body. "...gorgeous." I noticed he had that goofy, dreamy look in his eye again.

"Well, I had to get ready fast," I said. "I'm dead curious."

"Let's go, then," Zen said, walking to the closet.

"Wait, wait!" I said as he reached for the door handle. "There's stuff in there! Remember? I'm not supposed to see."

"It's OK, Princess," Zen said, smiling. "I moved it." When he opened the door, sure enough, the closet was just full of the normal stuff.

"You moved it?" I said. "When?"

"I just did, OK, Princess?" Zen said, handing me a helmet. "You don't need to know."

"But I WANT to know," I pouted.

"You're so cute," he said, touching me on the chin. "You know that, right?"

I smiled and stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips. "I try," I said.

Zen grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door. "Let's go," he said.

We got onto Zen's motorcycle and sped out of the neighborhood, through the city, then over a bridge and, finally, up a winding hill I recognized.

"I know where we're going," I said, squeezing Zen around the middle. "We're going to your Special Place, right?"

Zen nodded. "That's right, Princess," he said. "...and we're almost there."

My stomach did a double flip. A surprise picnic! Ever since the first time I'd been to Zen's Special Place, which started off as a not-so-nice experience and ended as a very nice experience, I'd wanted to go back and make a new memory there. Now was my chance. My heart beat wildly with excitement and anticipation.

Finally, in what seemed like a totally random spot, Zen pulled off the road and stashed his bike in the trees. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny, but not too hot and, every once in a while, there was just a slight breeze. Zen held out a hand.

"Come on," he said, pulling me down the nearly invisible path through the trees. It was a short walk to the clearing Zen called his Special Place. It looked out over the entire city. Even though I'd been here before, it still took my breath away. I sighed.

"Wow," I said. "So gorgeous."

"Turn around, Princess," Zen said, and so I did.

"Oh my god," I said. Zen had set up a picnic blanket and basket. On the blanket were real dishes, including two champagne flutes.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "When did you do this?"

"This morning," he said. "What, did you really think I went on TWO runs?"

I nodded. I knew he was up to something, but honestly it wouldn't take a week of sneaking around to organize this picnic, would it?

"What are we celebrating?" I said, pointing at the champagne flutes. I was joking around, but Zen's face suddenly got very serious.

"Oh god," he said. "I just can't wait any longer, damn."

The serious look on Zen's face made the color drain from mine. "Is something wrong?" I said, my voice catching in my throat.

Zen shook his head "no" and I watched in slow motion as he slowly got down on one knee. My heart skipped a beat. Oh my god, I thought. This is it. He's going to propose.

"MC," he said, taking my hand. "You are literally the girl of my dreams. Ever since that first night you appeared to me in that dream, I have loved you, have been in love you, and I know beyond a doubt that I will continue to love you forever." Zen paused, his red eyes searching mine. My heart was beating so hard and fast I thought it might pop out of my chest. I braced myself for the words.

"MC," Zen said, looking so beautiful and so perfect down on one knee in jeans and a tee-shirt. "Will you marry me? Will you make me the happiest guy in the world and be my wife?"

I didn't pause or hesitate. I just simply began to bob my head "yes" until I finally found my voice. "Yes," I said with tears in my eyes. "Yes, yes, YES! I will marry you, Ryu Hyun."

The words barely left my mouth and Zen jumped up, grabbed me around the waist and spun me around. Then he was smiling and kissing my face all over.

"Oh god, babe," he said. "I love you so much. You don't even know."

"I love YOU so much," I said, sniffling back the tears. "I can't believe this… I mean, I knew it… or thought I knew it or whatever…" I paused. "Oh Zen, is this why you were acting so WEIRD?"

"I was acting weird?" he said, looking at me puzzled.

"Yes," I said. "Very." Then I went on to tell him about all my suspicions, including the phone.

"Well," Zen said, laughing a bit. "I couldn't risk you finding out what I was doing… Saeyoung and Saeran spent a lot of time looking for your sister…"

"My sister?" I said.

"Yeah," he said. "I had to get Jumin to do the Eui hon because, you know, my parents…"

I put a hand on his arm. "Oh Zen," I said. "I'm so sorry."

"It's OK," Zen said. "My mom granted her blessing, at least, and oh…" Zen started rummaging in his pocket and, when he pulled out a ring, I caught my breath.

"I can't believe I almost forgot about this…" Zen said. He reached out for my left hand and slid the ring on my finger. I gasped. It was a simple white gold band with a tiny diamond. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and it fit perfectly.

"I hope you don't mind, I stole one of your rings for a bit to get the size," Zen said. No, I hadn't noticed. I guess that was one "weird" thing I didn't catch.

"Oh, Zen!" I said, sucking in a breath. "I LOVE it."

"It belonged to my grandmother," Zen said. "It's a family heirloom."

"Oh!" I said, not able to take my eyes off the shimmering stone. "I'm so glad that part of your family is here, at least."

Zen reached for my hand and brought it to his lips. "Damn, Princess," he said. "I am so fucking happy right now. I don't think I've ever been this happy."

I shook my head up and down in agreement. I was also bursting with happiness, so much so that I thought I might explode from the inside out. I almost couldn't wrap my head around it. Zen and I were getting MARRIED. I was going to be his WIFE. I couldn't help but picture Echo Girl's face when she heard the news, her lips twisted and ugly. I smiled. Yeah, take that, Echo Girl!

"Come here, Princess," Zen said, pulling me down on the blanket. "Let's make a toast…" He reached into an ice bucket I hadn't noticed before and pulled out a bottle of champagne. Then he poured the pink bubbling liquid into two glasses. He handed me one. "It's a good one, too, apparently," Zen said. "A gift from Jumin and Mi-Sun… Jumin insisted."

"Of course he did," I said, smiling.

"Well, he certainly can't have you now," Zen said, smiling. "Now that you're Mrs. Ryu Hyun-to-be."

Mrs. Ryu Hyun. I liked the sound of that.

"Damn straight," I said, giggling. "Do you think he'll get over me?"

"I don't think that arrogant prick will ever get over you, Princess," Zen said, raising his glass. "But who cares? You're mine." I raised my glass, too.

"To US," Zen said.

"May we be happy and healthy forever," I added.

"Yes," Zen said. "And have loads of sex."

"Loads of sex," I echoed, and we clinked glasses.

Zen's eyes suddenly got very heavy as he reached for the glass of champagne and took it out of my hand.

"Speaking of…" he said in a raspy voice. Zen set the two glasses on a makeshift table piled high with fruit and cheese. Then he leaned in and put a hand on my cheek... let his fingers slide down the side of my neck… down my bare chest... and finally to the top of my blouse, where the fabric was tied in a neat bow.

"May I?" Zen said, grasping one end of the bow with a thumb and forefinger. I nodded and he pulled. The front of my blouse fell open exposing the tops of my bare breasts. I wasn't wearing a bra. Zen's eyes seemed to get redder, hotter and larger.

"God, I love your tits," he said, sliding his hands all over my body, feeling me up through my shirt. Then he leaned forward to peak down my top.

"Let's just take this off," Zen said, grasping the hem of my shirt and lifting it up over my head.

"Aw man," Zen said. His voice was low and dreamy, like seeing me topless had put him in some kind of trance. Slowly, he crawled over and on top of me as I laid back on the blanket. When his lips found mine, I got greedy, immediately crushing my lips to his. Our mouths moved together in tandem, tongues tangled in their own sort of lovemaking. Thoughts of Zen as my husband filled my brain and the images made everything hotter. God, this guy, these lips... I was just the luckiest girl on earth.

"What are you thinking about?" Zen said, looking at me sideways.

"You," I said, pulling him closer to me.

We'd only just begun and my panties were already soaking, my pussy already burning to be touched. I squirmed underneath Zen, squeezing my thighs tighter together in hopes of rubbing out a bit of the heat.

"Mmmm…" Zen said, breathing hot into my ear. He knew me well. "Already? Damn, Princess…"

Zen's lips left mine to travel down the side of my neck, then to my chest. I let out a sigh when his teeth found my nipple.

"You like that, don't you pretty girl," he purred.

I felt his hand working the button on my jeans, then the zipper. Then, gratefully, I felt his hand slide beneath my underwear. I squirmed and moaned knowing any moment now he would be touching me…

"Oh Zen," I sighed. "Touch me."

I felt his fingers graze my lips, slowly moving up and down. "Damn, you're soaking wet, Princess," he drawled. Then he started making little circles and putting pressure on my clit. I raised my hips up off of the ground and moaned as I felt his fingers slip in and out. It felt SO good..

I let my eyes roll back in my head and gave into the feeling, continuing to roll my hips around in response to his movements. Zen knew my body well at this point and it wasn't long before my climax began to build…

"Oh Zen, oh I…" I blurted. I didn't even get all the words out of my mouth before I started to cum. As I let the rolling sensation sweep through me, my mind filled with colors and light.

"You're so fucking hot," Zen said afterwards. He's told me before how he loves to watch me cum, how I'm different and beautiful every time. I found that a little hard to believe because when I'm cumming I imagine my face is contorted in mangled, twisted mess.

"And you're so fucking hard…" I said, getting turned on all over again. Zen was up on his knees now, and I could see the outline of his cock clearly pressing against the fabric of his jeans.

"That has to be uncomfortable," I said, sitting up. I began to work the buckle of his belt, and then his jeans. Zen pulled his tee-shirt up over his head and I stopped for a moment, just a moment to admire his muscular chest.

"God, you're beautiful," I whispered. I was never going to get over this man-god who somehow ended up to be my boyfriend and now, my fiancé. Fiancé.

Breaking away from my thoughts, I went back to the task of getting Zen naked. First, I helped him wiggle out of his jeans, then his boxers. Then, finally, his erection was staring me in the face.

"That's better," I whispered, sticking my tongue out of my mouth to lap the bit of pre-cum that was pooling at the tip. Zen groaned. Inching closer on my knees I took the whole head in my mouth, swirling my tongue in circles around the tip, sucking ever so gently, ever so slowly at first.

"Oh babe," Zen said as he began to rock his hips forward and backward, pumping himself into my mouth. I responded by taking him in deeper until I could feel the tip at the back of my throat. I kept swirling my tongue and sucking to Zen's rhythm, which was building and getting faster.

"Oh god, oh MC," Zen said as I opened my throat to take in his whole length. "Oh, damn...so good…"

I took a moment to peak up at his beautiful face. His eyes were half closed, rolling into the back of his head and his jaw was slack with pleasure. Me, I was doing this. I was making him feel this good. Zen the actor was utterly and completely under my control.

Zen's hips were beginning to pump faster until finally they began to slow. "Oh god, babe… I'm going to cum…" he said and then I watched as his stomach tightened and he began to quake. "I'm cumming… Oh god, oh MC, MC, MC…"

All at once I tasted the sticky saltiness of him as he shot his load in into my open mouth. I swallowed as I rode him through to the finish. Somehow I still managed to smile with him in my mouth, loving the sound of my name on his lips, the taste of him in my mouth. Finally, as the quaking turn to shivers, I released him, my lips savoring the length of him as he slid slowly out of my mouth.

"Damn, Princess," Zen said, pressing my lips to his. "To think that I'll be getting THAT for the rest of my life… I don't think I can stand it."

"I think somehow you'll manage," I said, running my fingers gently up and down his chest. "...and to think that I get this…"

Zen smiled, a smug, shit eating grin. "Yup," he said. "I'm all yours, babe."

\--- 

Later, we laid around half dressed, picking at the cheese and fruit and sipping champagne.

"You know I can't help but think about Echo Girl," I said.

"What?" Zen said. "Why?"

"I'm getting a lot of pleasure out of imagining her reaction when she hears we're engaged," I said, sucking on a grape.

"Yeah," Zen said. "She'll probably get pretty upset…"

"You know, I hate to say it, but I don't feel bad for her at all," I said. "Not even a little."

"Yeah, I hear she's still looking for work," Zen said. "Her reputation as a pain in the ass to work with is starting to really affect her." Zen paused to pop a piece of cheese in his mouth. "Who knows? Maybe we'll see HER in an infomercial sometime soon."

Zen suddenly sat up. "Oh!" he said as if he'd forgotten something, which maybe he did. "I almost forgot…. I have another surprise for you…"

My eyebrows lifted. "Another surprise?" I said. "Two in one day? Well, I'm not sure you can top that last one, my lovely Zen."

Zen sighed. "So cute," he said, reaching forward to tickle my sides. "I get so fucking cute for the rest of my life!" He rolled over on top of me and kissed me on the lips.

"What's your second surprise?" I said, loving the feeling of his forehead on mine, our hearts locked together through our gaze.

Zen pulled me up to a seated position. He had a different smile on his face, bigger and prouder than I'd ever seen before. I felt my heart start to beat fast in my chest. Whatever he had to say, it had to be good news.

"You aren't going to believe this," Zen said and then he paused. The suspense was fucking killing me. "I've been offered a part in a musical…"

My mouth fell open and I raised my hands to cover it. "Oh my god!" I said, feeling the glee starting to spread throughout my body.

"...and that's not all…" Zen said. "It's a production on, are you ready for this?" I nodded my head bobbing like a bobblehead doll. "It's a production on BROADWAY!"

I sucked in a breath. "BROADWAY?" I repeated. My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets. "Are you SERIOUS?" I squealed, leaping into his arms. "You better be fucking serious! Because if you're not..."

"I'm totally serious," Zen said, kissing my face all over. "I'm so serious, babe…"

"Broadway, oh my god," I whispered. I couldn't contain the feelings of joy that seemed to be pouring out of me. Acting in a play on Broadway was Zen's ultimate dream… and now here it was happening to him. I blinked as I felt tears spring to my eyes.

"Oh baby," I said, pulling him close. "I'm so proud of you... I'm so, so proud of you…"

Zen lean back and cupped my face in his hands. "It's all because of you, you know," he said, his flame red eyes searching mine. "You stood by me, you believed in me, you made me believe in me…" I could see his eyes were also filling with tears. "There's no doubt in my mind...I could not have done this without you."

Zen pulled my lips to his and he kissed me so strongly so deeply I could feel his love in my ankles.

"Wow," I said, after the kiss. I was just starting to realize what all this was going to mean. "So we'll be moving to New York…"

"Yes," Zen said, nodding his head. "IF I take the role?"

My eyebrows shot up in shock. "What?!" I said. "What do you mean 'if'? You mean you haven't accepted the role yet?"

"I wanted to talk to you first," Zen said. "This affects you, too, you know. We'll be married… You'll be my wife... "

"Oh Zen," I said, throwing myself into his arms. "TAKE the role!" It was my turn to cup his cheeks in my hands, my turn to look him deep in the eyes. "You know I'd follow you anywhere."

"Will you follow me there next week?" Zen said. "Apparently they want to check me out in person… All-expenses paid trip to New York."

"What?" I said. "And I get to go?"

"It's already been arranged," Zen said. "You even have the time off work."

Oh, so THAT'S what Jaehee was talking about me having to sign those forms. Boy, did she almost spill the beans. I thought back to today's Messenger app chat, how Saeyoung had so vehemently tried to change the subject.

"Zen," I said. "How much of the RFA knows?"

"Just Saeyoung, Saeran and Jumin," Zen said. "I needed their help to pull this thing off…" he paused. "... and I wanted you to have a chance to share the news, too. Now we can do it together."

"Now we'll do everything together," I said. "Officially a team."

"Yeah," Zen said. "A family… Now we can make our own."

The sun was setting, all orange and red on the horizon. The air was getting cooler so I snuggled up closer to my future husband, happier than I had ever been. Together we watched the sun until it disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: So that's it, the end! Sorry it took so long to get this last chapter out. It was really important that I get it right, you know? It's the LAST chapter! I am thinking about (maybe) continuing MC & Zen's journey as a new story, the second book, so to speak. So look out for that. Thanks (always) for reading, commenting, reviewing, etc. I LOVE hearing from you.


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